r/loneliness

I 28F have no friends irl, and only one long distance friend who resides in Germany while I am US based. Growing up I endured 10 years of increasingly severe bullying which resulted in isolation, social anxiety, and depression. It’s been a year since I have felt this, but tonight I was overcome with the most intense, soul-crushing wave of loneliness. I simply cannot stop crying.

It started when I was out to dinner tonight with my parents, and I noticed the restaurant was packed full of friend groups and married couples. Suddenly and violently, I felt my loneliness amplify until it was unbearable.

I just want a friend to hangout with. I want a friend who wants to hangout with me.

And I miss my LD best friend. Since starting a new job we have struggled to find time to truly connect in a way where we can have eachothers undivided attention, even for an hour. And I just miss him.

5 months out of a relationship that lasted more than half of my life. I grew up with this person, we figured out adulting together. I thought we would grow old together too, but life had other plans.

I spent weeks crying, feeling as though my world had ended when he walked out with our dogs. But with every step forward I felt a quiet strength and confidence return to me. A version of me I hadn’t met since I was 18 except now she’s wiser. She has been knocked about by life’s circumstances, and knows better.

I am now sitting in our marital home that I have bought over from him, sipping my latte and enjoying the quiet that I thought I would never find again because this house holds too many memories. But here I am.

I spent the weekend with friends where breakfast turned into lunch then dinner, taking myself out to the arcade solo and having a ball of a time. Zero responsibilities (apart from chores and my cat), and zero regrets. Is this how people have been living their lives? What is this freedom and why did I think it was so bad before?

More importantly - why did I think I needed someone to choose me to make this life worth living? I choose myself, and that’s enough. Sure it feels lonely at times, but it’s so much better than being lonely in an unhappy relationship. When I’m ready I will likely dip my toe into dating but I’m not attached to the outcome of finding someone out there, because frankly I’m having too much fun finding me. <3

Hi 30M here and I am just sharing my 3 AM thoughts. Tbh life is pretty shitty now a days or at least it has been for the last 6-7 years at least. But its fine, adulting has never been easy. Loneliness, however, has been a completely different ball game. I have had some good friends (still have a few) and I have been perpetually single for all my life. All those friendships were never really deep enough to not make me feel alone. And the worst part is, I never got used to it. I changed cities and countries, thought that starting in a completely new place would give me new opportunities to make friends and probably meet someone worth spending my life with. Yeah nothing like that happened. You know you have this feeling of missing out when all your friends are getting married and having kids and thinking of settling down. I don't know how to feel better, honestly. I tried quite a few things to feel less lonely, like working out and cooking etc but nope. Going out to clubs or social gatherings aren't particularly my strong suit. Its a very strange and helpless situation.

This time of yr is absolutely my favorite from the fall leaves to the Halloween decor, but its also the lonliest for me. You see I made a promise to myself to make ONE friend this yr and thats been a flop and once again im seeing all the posts of ppl and their friends partying from last Halloween. Im sick and tire of the line "JUst g0 oUT And mAk3 s0ME fRieNdz" like its a universally easy thing. Its not! And ive been hurting rly bad this past week i dont wanna b a raging party animal on a bender but id like to experience the Halloween festivities (family friendly or someones house) with some friends just once where I dont feel like a total loser again going to bed early on Halloween crying like last yr. My 20s will b over in a few yrs and I got nothing to show for it so ye im a bit desperate for experiences yes ik u can still do im 30s but I wanna do it now so I can atleast say I did it actually nvm f it im done with the Oct-Dec bs im done yall can keep ur stupid festivities i want no part in any of it

[removed]

I think a lot at nights, especially about things like life, my love life, god, the world and everything that I can’t even remember during the day time.
But tonight the focus is on my love life and friendship and how am hopeless romantic. im 20 years old girl who grew up with environment where the love isn’t something that you can show or express in outloud no matter what kind of love is parents love, siblings, or others like friends. I feel like its something that make us frustrated to say outloud or you’ll look some way that I can’t really express. it because love is not exists in here (what I believe )and that’s why I can’t express to my beloved ones how much I love them. Or even be loved by someone I’ve never met someone who truly falls in love with me. And I’ve never dated before or even had a good talk stage where I feel like “oh I think I’ll date this time “
Because I’ve never had anyone that like me which I also like them. Also the people who like me, are the people that I don’t like and I swear to god it’s always an old man who have a wife and kids, some random dudes that saw me on the streets when im coming home, or that 32 years old man that has the sewing machine in the second floor of my apartment building. Honestly I can’t say they loved me because it’s one time they try to flirt and I just ignored them so they just give up. So It’s always the people I don’t want to have in my life and mind you it’s not always it happens once a time. and it’s not like I want to have bunch of stranger man be interest in me all the time, is that how barely I got interest in. Lol.

Even tho I grew up unloved environment but I love love and respect, and I want to find someone that can love me genuinely with all their heart. my heart is full of love but there’s no one to give lol. ( that sounds cringe idk) I always dreamt about having a partner. as I got older i feel hopeless, because what do you mean everyone around me has their own little love life no matter how it is. And I’m missing out here.
Sometimes I even ask myself if ever will find someone who loves me as I am, and vice verse. I believe, I deserve someone who’s nice, respectful and kind.

but btw tonight I want to write everything that am thinking because thinking to yourself always makes me feel like unending feeling. So I crave for sharing. To night I want to put into words to feel relief. Then I’ll just say bunch a lot of stuff that maybe doesn’t matches it can be either one, there’s too much things that in my mind that just keep coming up and I have to write it down or I think I have undiagnosed adhd idk.

friends: in my life I had a few friends in school over the years and I think at this moment in my life is when I have the most less. I have literally no close friends at this moment and it’s really s@d/hard to maintain life without genuine friends.
To be honest am an introvert person. yes sometimes I get social, when I get comfortable and if I feel like I can vibe with someone or people. So I’ve never had a group of friends that am really close to or even just a group of friends. And I believe group friends are the one of the things that can make someone social or to have a friends even if they are not close to all that people in the group.

I love online friendships, it’s really good but you have to ask me do i have friends on online, no I don’t have but I really try to find some good friends online I’ve got some but yk ghosting and losing interest is real a thing nowadays or just forgetting about each other, so I’ve lost a lot of online friends for whatever reason, but the thing is it doesn’t makes me s@d to lose those friendships because they are barely reach one month, but it does makes feel bad for myself to not be able to have someone I can call a FRIEND, someone that I can feel save to share my thoughts and feelings without being judged, someone that I can love as a friend and listen to their yap daily, someone who consider me as a close friends or best friend. I have a friend in my back home, but after I moved another country for some reason the friendship just faded after a year we still contact but not frequently enough like we used to.

I’m not a person who open up to everyone easily, and I’ve never open up to anyone like fully. So sometimes I wish I’d just have someone to talk to. It’s crazy coz I have a big family but it feels different to be open to them and I can’t and I don’t want to be open if they’re the only people on this planet honestly. Not because I hat@ my family , I really love my family, but people can have different mindset and I personally think we all have different mindset and we prefer different lifestyles. So why bother to be open to someone who literally doesn’t understand and gets you.

That it is, thanks if you read till here. I really appreciate it.
And sorry if my English isn’t good enough, it’s not my first language.

I don’t even know why am posting this, maybe to find people who have something similar if not so I’ll at least feel relieved to say something from my mind, but this time not to only myself.

Bye bye.

I’m a 25-year-old woman, and I know this might sound pathetic, but I’ve been feeling really lonely lately and I think I just need somewhere to say it.
I feel like I’m always the person people come to when they need someone to listen. I genuinely care about people and I don’t mind being there for them, but sometimes I wish someone would do the same for me. I want someone who actually asks how I’m doing, listens to the things I don’t usually say out loud, and genuinely cares about what’s going on in my life.
I’ve always wanted a relationship and to have someone I can be emotionally close to, but honestly, my experiences with men have made it really hard to believe that I’ll actually find someone who wants the same things I do. Every time I start to have hope, something happens that makes me think, “See? This is why I don’t trust men.”
And I know obviously not every man is terrible. I know there are good men out there. I just haven’t had enough experiences with them to believe it easily anymore.
I don’t just feel like I need that kind of connection anymore. I feel like I crave it. I crave having a person. Someone I can tell things to, someone I can call when something happens, someone who genuinely wants to know how my day was. Someone who notices when something is wrong without me having to explain everything. I think I just really want to feel like I have a person in this world who is my person.
Maybe that sounds needy, or maybe I’m just having a lonely night, but it’s genuinely how I feel. I’ve spent so much time being there for other people, and I think I’m just tired of feeling like I have to carry everything by myself.
I don’t even necessarily need someone to fix anything. I just want someone to be there. Someone who actually cares.
I wanted to put it somewhere instead of keeping it all in.

I don't have too many people to turn to. My husband's friends are nice, I am friendly with all of them. However, they did tell me if my husband and I ever split they would more than likely never talk to me again.

I wouldn't call them true friends.

MY friends never call or text back when I reach out. I know people have their own lives, I know people get busy. Hell, between a full time job, part time clincals and a class I take, I literally do not have a day off, yet I still reach out. I still make an effort.

It's always "I forgot to call/text you back." Even in the group chat, no one ever replies when I share something. Just when I share. Whenever someone else says anything there are always replies.

I just want to feel important to someone.

This is a general question, if it would be better in another sub please give me a recommendation. I am a 31F who has trouble dealing (I’m sad) with how my friendships have changed as I’ve gotten older. I used to have a busy social life in my 20s, keeping in contact with my friends almost daily with plans on the weekends, going out and dinners. My friendships have now gone quiet; I think we’ve all just gotten busy/ grown apart and I also stopped reaching out because there’s little reciprocation to work at the relationships. Now I keep to myself and hang out at home alone/ with my dog/ with my husband. We talk about having kids and I’m wondering how many households have parents that don’t have friends and they only hang out with each other? We have large families that I spend a good amount of time with, and have fun, as we usually do fun activities/ couple of family parties a month so it’s not like we’ll be isolated. But I’m genuinely curious how many of you either grew up in a household or currently have a household where your parents don’t have a social life outside of the nuclear family.

i love english and love american culture but why do i never get attention by americans

I have zero friends at 21, I work, go home, sleep, I have to bike to work so that takes it outa me. I had a roommate that was subsequently my highschool friend but he had a bunch of issues and took it out on people in the house " my family" and just left, now I have zero social life outside being a workhorse and my own hobbies which grow tiring by the day, any advice on how to start enjoying life and getting friends again? Getting monotonous, I literally feel no joy, it's constant numbing..

Anyone wanna chat for some time. Music, memes, or just chat whatever

I m 21 now and since i was 14 i was feeling lonely its been years I thought i will get better but even around people or alone i feel something inside empty i get weird thoughts tears come down from my eyes randomly i feel something inside empty bad empty lonely idk what to do idk who to reach it is growing with my age i m at that point i just want easy escape any type of medicine or killing myself everyday i wake up i feel like something is tearing apart my heart bit by bit I can’t sleep properly I can’t eat properly everything feels heavy and burden on my mood i feel like i have no future i have nothing I don’t wanna do nothing just want permanent escape

So, I don't know how to really write this.

I'm stuck and I don't really know what to do. I've been fortunate to have a decent career, my own apartment, and enough money to survive on. I should be content with my situation but something just doesn't feel right. I thought having control over my own life and my own housing situation would be liberating.

I have zero social life, no relationship and no desire or motivation to seek anything out. I've thought about going out, I've made a post on my city's subreddit, talked to a couple people, but nothing has resulted from any of it. I have one very distant acquaintance who I talk to every so often, probably just to keep me somewhat connected to the outside world.

I know I'm antisocial and can't really think of what it's like to be social. I almost feel disgust at that thought. I'm not even sad. I can't remember the last time I cried or felt anything other than apathy. All I want is to feel like I'm "safe", whatever that means. I know I'm not normal, and that's concerning.

Thanks for reading, if you did.