r/loneliness

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(Posting on a secondary account as to not clutter up my primary with this stuff)

I know that sounds desperate and all, but im getting to that point. The last intimate interaction that I actually wanted was about 4 years ago. I thought id be fine as a single person, and for a while I was. Im not sure whats changed but recently ive just been so lonely it hurts all the time. Ive got some of the best, most supportive friends in the world, and I know I shouldnt be lonely, but I need a Hug, goddammit. I want to be able to talk to someone that is more than a friend. And I feel like thats super selfish and whatever but at this point I dont really care. Im sick and tired of being lonely. Ive tried dating apps and talking to people online and in person. Ive exchanged numbers with multiple people and it never goes farther than that. I want to build a relationship with someone, but so far, nobody has given me the chance. I dont know what Im supposed to do about this. Any input would be greatly appreciated

What's wrong wd people,and why do they ghost all of a sudden..I always try to keep up wd the Convo..and somehow everyone just leave 😭😭 that much level of gaslighting and rage baiting at once..I can't keep up wd all this😭

I'm taking a gap year after school to prepare for an entrance exam, but I'm not hardcore studying yet. I've only recently started getting back into studying, and most of my day is still spent at home with not much going on.

My friends/cousins are in school or college, so they have somewhere to go, people around them, routines and things happening. I don't really have that right now. I'm basically stuck at home — I don't have anywhere I can realistically go, and there aren't really people around for me to interact with either.

My days can feel like I wake up, eat, sit around while time passes, study for a bit, eat, study at night, and sleep. There's very little variation from one day to the next 🥲

I actually didn't realise how much I'd miss having somewhere to go until I finished school. I didn't even particularly love school when I was there, but now I kind of wish I had that routine again.

There's also some difficult family stuff at home, especially with my father, so being at home all the time isn't always particularly comfortable either. I don't really want to go into the details, but it makes feeling stuck at home harder.

Sometimes I also get emotional and cry seemingly out of nowhere, and lately I've occasionally had thoughts about not wanting to be alive anymore. I don't have a plan or intention to act on them, but it's worrying me because I don't really understand where they're coming from.

For anyone who's had a similar gap year or period of being mostly stuck at home: how did you deal with the loneliness and the feeling that your life had become repetitive? What actually helped?

I genuinely want to hear from people who've been through something similar 🥲

Idk what to do bruh(and yea i dont have the girl privilege meaning dont flood my dms so yea)

If you do take the time to read this rant, I thank you for your time. For awareness, I have a Traumatic Brain Injury so there’s a lot of emotion, a lot of confusion, a lot of self awareness, and a lot of suppression because there’s nothing that can really be done. So I come here to anonymously vent, rant, journal, and not feel so absolutely alone or like a failure to my children.

I was in a relationship for 9 years, 6 married. Most non traditional relationship meeting in Plenty of Fish when I was out of state for work. Met ex wife while on work trip. Spent a month together, unbeknownst she was actually homeless coming from a very abusive livelihood since birth. Until meeting some gentleman from across the country.

Last days being there I was assaulted and essentially killed, no pulse nor breath. When brought back and taken to the hospital I had 6 skull fractures, 13 brain bleeds, a 30 degree axial shift to the right, I was a level 3 on the Glasgow Coma Scale.

I was in a medically induced coma for a week and a half, flown to in hospital for a month and a half, flown to another for another month and a half, then spent about 5 months in rehab.

During this time the of recovery I found out someone I hardly remembered was potentially carrying my baby. With this we made a plan to make such a terrible situation good and a month after the baby was born we all became a family. I can admittedly say that I had some electronic infidelities in the beginning of the relationship. I was not having my own needs met and still didn’t know who I was given the fact I just started a whole new life as a dad, a partner, and a TBI survivor.

So please in no way was I a saint at the beginning. As time went on family realized things weren’t going well as I was directed to distance myself from all family and friends as no one could be trusted. I was always made to feel I wasn’t enough or wasn’t doing things to her standard. How consistent these things would come up and when I would question, the arguments would start. So my response was to “sit down shut up and do as I’m told.”

The consistent mental abuse resulted in an attempted suicide. Time was spent in a psych ward and upon return the mental abuse continued. Until it was recommended by a mental professional (counselor) to take some time to myself and spend time with family, which was agreed upon by the now ex wife.

Still being married and not getting the space as mental abuse continued states apart it was determined a divorce was necessary. Not even 2 months after separation I am met with my 8 year old, after spending the day with my 2 year old so their mother could go out for her birthday with the oldest for the day. I am met and told how much he, her and another man had fun going to Dave and Busters for the day.

I intently listened to him as that’s my job, my little boy has done nothing wrong so I encourage him and listen with my whole heart while dying inside. She takes the little one puts him in the car seat and comes back and says “okay give your goodbyes” then looks at me and says “oh by the way watch for rattle snakes they’re really bad ‘insert guys name here’ dogs were bitten and died”

She gave direct instructions shortly after separation that if I were ever to start seeing someone I had to let her know because that will affect the children. But rules do not apply to a narcissist who blames me for hanging myself as a result of her incessant verbal mental abuse.

I can go on and on and on but I am stuck. I am angry, I am hurt, I am sad, I am disgusted, I am just lost. I am alone and trying to pick up the pieces that still exist of myself, rediscover myself but have never felt so absolutely alone. While she is out living her best life.

Rant over. Thank you for listening if you get here. I appreciate you.

I feel so alone everyday. I have friends ngl but none of them will choose me first or even second or third. They all have partners if not that they have each other and i feel like a back up friend in every friendship i am in now. I just hurts to see my friends talking about something they didn't invite me to or i see their stories and see they are literally 5 mins from my house but they didn't call or text. I just want to know does it get better? Will i ever make friends that will choose me to be their best friend who would tell me everything and not make me feel judge or unwanted. I am really tired of feel like a imposter in my own life and friendship. I hope it gets better casue i have lost so many friendship that i thought would be lifelong i am very done with giving everything and receiving nothing, no care, no love, no understanding. Man, i just wanna be seen.

Yeaa so i came here to vent cuz I ran out of AI prompts on claude. First of all I do get along with people once im close to them but I can see it is much harder for me than another person to form friendships or get people to want to be my friend when they dont know me much. I have a couple friends irl and like 1 online friend for about 3-4 years (the rest of them either we just stopped texting, I unfriended them cuz i think they dont like me or they just unfriended me for no reason probably because I suck). Im pretty awkward and shy irl people seem to not like me without me doing anything irl and idk why. Like if im in class or around people they seem to be judging me and don't want me to talk to them. It's not so bad now cuz I'm in college and people are much nicer but im still lonely. People would say they would never talk to me or invite me to anything even though ive never ruined an event in my life or caused problems and people would also leave me out of groups like theres a danger to me joining even though im the most quiet and harmless person to add. A few of my friends said they think i have autism but it does not sound like me when I research it or take assessments and my family does not think I have it. There are also people with autism I've met that does not even experience this. Idk can someone tell me what im doing wrong. I rarely argue with people and I dont think im toxic at all.

The mind tells it will get better.

But truth is, if the situation has been like that for years, it will only get worse. Older, people die, some friends may leave, health issues...

And the older are, less chances to find a potential partner.

At least, ironically, you are not alone. Millions are lonely, just that they are isolated, only connected by social media.

So basically I'm in hostel for my college.My home is 400km away from my college,I feel so lonely here I have a chomu roomate and a senior roomate who always goes with his friends while the chomu one just stays in room and be alone I have many classmates in hostel but they have their group (i came 3 weeks late in college) i always feel left out. Does anyone know how to cope with it and how can I improve my situation it's been 2 weeks in hostel.🙃

Im a looser not by choice. It seems no one likes me. I work and go home and kids. I wish i hade female friends to have girl talk . Go see a movie, a concert. Clothing shopping. I have no one to socialize with. Im pretty friendly and have a sence of humor. I socialize with people at work, they are too old or too young and childish. My co workers are mostly men and when I converse with them they talk about women's bodies and banging them.I dont make a big deal out of it I just laugh it off and pretend Im one of the guys.Or contractors come in to do work and I'll say good morning and they think I want to sleep with them . Yuck. I wish I had a female friend. Ive had female friends before but they back stabbed me. So i had to remove myself from those toxic jealous women. I wish i can find a cool friend.

I never envisioned this life for myself. I have been in two long term relationships and I have also been single in between. My previous relationship was long term and serious. The breakup was an incredibly difficult and draining time in my life. It took a long time to get over and move on.

I was just about to turn 30 when my relationship was ended. It was a very tough breakup and I was left for someone else; which is of course devestating. My friends were all married and some were pregnant/having their first babies. After so many years with someone by my side, I was on my own and suddenly had to start hanging out with couples and attend all social events alone. I was always a strong and independent person, but it was incredibly difficult for me during this life stage. My confidence also wasn't at an all time high while in the trenches.

Spending time with friends who were suddenly thrust into motherhood was tough, certain friendships completely changed. They were going through an intense and dramatic change in their lives and so was I; but in a completely different way. I was in the thick of grief and mourning the life I had AND the life I would never have. I struggled with a particular friendship, it became quite strained. I felt completely abandoned and unsupported by this friend and she made it abundantly clear that all focus should be on her and her pregnancy (she said as much.) She did not have sympathy or the time of day to listen to me when I desperately needed to be heard. I had to listen to many conversations that were purely baby related, when nothing was more unrelateable to me and yet no-one asked how I was doing...

Other girlfriends were amazing and supportive, but it was heartbreaking to be faced with a phase of life that I was so far removed from.

Then came Covid and lockdown. As I was trying to "get back out there," the universe had very different plans. Some very traumatic losses occurred during this time and I am proud of myself for surviving, as it didn't feel possible at the time. I have been on dating apps for quite a few years, I have participated in professional dating events & I have been on a few dates (very few) and I have gone to my local bars and restaurants. It has never led anywhere serious, not even remotely. There hasn't been anyone I am compatible or have chemistry with. No-one can say that I haven't tried my best to meet someone... I have really put myself out there. And I don't want to hear people tell me I am "full of crap" or my "standards are too high," when I simply just have any standards whatsoever. I've tried really hard to be openminded and not be too judgemental.

Datings apps are beyond exhausting. It leaves me feeling emotionally drained and generally disheartened; I find it so difficult to connect with someone and gauge what they're really like. Mostly they're not what they seem and I've been ghosted many times. I've heard that this experience is not exclusive to women on apps, it goes both ways. At 37 the dating pool really is a swamp, it seems to be worse than ever. I am so incredibly tired of people's advice, such as "stop looking and then you'll find someone," especially when said people are married. People probably try to make you feel better, but it is okay NOT to be okay with being (perpetually) single... It is easy to speak these words when you don't REALLY think about what they mean or how it feels.

Let's be honest. Being single can be devastatingly lonely. I can be in a crowd and feel painfully alone. I always feel like an outsider or like I am living vicariously through couples and their lives/stories. I have lovely and supportive friends, but you always feel like everyone is part of some sort of an exlusive club that you're not a part of. It's like constantly peeking into someone else's life, you never get to have those experiences. It's like my life is just not as interesting to listen to. I think many single people will relate to this feeling; feeling like you're not worth listening to.

I live a good life and I am very greatful for everything I have and for the people that I adore. Still, being single at 37 and being single for the entirety of my 30s wasn't what I ever could've imagined. I crave real connection and partnership. A partner doesn't dictate your happiness and value, but not being able to share my life and experiences with someone makes me feel like the last person on earth. I miss having a partner for an event, someone I share an inside joke with, someone who knows all my quirks and is loyal, respectful and supportive. I have lost many loved ones over the last few years and it makes me so sad knowing that "my" person would never meet the people that I loved with all my heart.

Certain thoughts and feelings we don't get to share aloud, it gets buried deep within. I am speaking this into the "void," because my heart deserves for it to be spoken. The world has become smaller, lonelier and more closed off due to social media and I guess various other factors. People have become more distant and selfish for fear of "bothering" anyone. So many of us crave real connection and companionship. Friends and family are incredibly important; but getting to share your life with a romantic partner is something else. The loneliness pandemic is REAL. For both men and women and I think it's affecting younger people more than ever before. Years ago it was strange if someone was unmarried or single at a certain age, it's still not the norm, but it is much more prevelant now.

To those who are single, lonely and alone: I see you. And I hear you. And I understand how you feel. You are actually NOT alone. It feels freeing to talk about it. Try it. Get it off your chest. 🖤