“Just Go Out Alone” Is the Most Useless Advice for Lonely People
Everyone says, “Just go out by yourself. Enjoy your own company, you’ll naturally meet people.”
That sounds nice in theory, but in reality, it’s complete nonsense.
I do almost everything alone because I’m lonely as hell. And after years of going out solo, I can tell you this advice rarely works.
When you go out by yourself, you quickly notice one thing: almost everyone else is already with someone.
They’re with friends. Their partner. Family. Coworkers. Their social needs are already being met. They’re laughing, talking, and fully absorbed in their own little circle.
They’re not looking around hoping a stranger joins them.
And why would they? Breaking out of an established group to include someone new feels awkward, even if they’re perfectly nice people.
Then there are the few people who are alone.
But they usually have headphones on, eyes glued to their phone, and body language that screams, “Please don’t talk to me.”
So no, the world is not full of open, approachable people waiting to connect.
It’s mostly closed social bubbles moving through public spaces together.
And when you’re the only one standing outside those bubbles, being told to “just go out and be happy by yourself” can make things worse.
Because instead of feeling connected, you become painfully aware of how isolated you are.
You’re surrounded by people, but still completely alone.
That’s what makes loneliness so brutal.
Not the absence of people.
The realization that everyone seems to have already found their place, and there doesn’t seem to be room for you.