r/online_dating_advice

I recently started dating a woman I genuinely liked, and things seemed to be going in a good direction. I was interested in getting to know her on a deeper level, seeing where things could go, and potentially building something serious with her. However, she told me that she isn’t completely healed yet and that she still has some things to work through emotionally. I respect her honesty, and I don’t want to pressure her into a relationship she isn’t ready for. At the same time, it’s a little disappointing when you meet someone you see potential with, only to realize that the timing might not be right. Part of me wants to be patient and give her the space she needs, because I understand that healing takes time. But another part of me knows that I can’t put my own feelings and needs on hold waiting for someone to be ready. I don’t want to try to fix her, rush her healing, or convince her to choose me. I want a woman who genuinely wants to be with me and is emotionally ready to build something together.

For those of you who have been in a similar situation, I have a few questions:
When someone tells you they aren’t completely healed, do you take that as a sign to walk away or give them time?
Have any of you dated someone who wasn’t fully healed and eventually built a healthy relationship with them?
Is it possible to be patient with someone while still protecting your own feelings?
Would you continue getting to know her without expectations, or would you step back completely?
I’m trying to approach this with maturity and understanding rather than taking it personally. I genuinely liked this woman, but I also understand that having feelings for someone doesn’t automatically mean the timing is right.

I’d appreciate hearing from people who have experienced this, especially those who have been on either side of the situation.

Update: haven’t talked to her for a week. Been focusing on myself and all I post a video on facebook story and saw that she hearted the video

I am a 37 year old woman, I have a stable job and currently working towards my BA. I have a home, own a car, and financially doing okay, a single mother of 2 and yet I cannot find a man that will complete me. I have been single going on 5 years now. Been divorced, I’ve tried dating apps, going on nature walks, bars, even groceries stores. But it seems that I am a woman who is non approachable, I usually smile at everyone and greet them. I honestly don’t know what I am doing wrong or if I am doing enough. I hate matching with men and having to start all over again and again, it’s gotten boring honestly. I know what I want and need from a man to make me happy, and apparently it’s asking to much (having consistency in communication, loyal, trustworthy, loving and patient ) according to these men I ask for too much. Do you believe in generational trauma? My GMA and mother had it bad, do you think it’s passed on me to me as well, or is it just me and am I at this breaking point where I don’t think I’ll ever find the man I so much desire? Why are men not chivalrous any more?

I'm in my early 30s(F), fairly new to the US. I moved here from India for grad school and started using Hinge about three months ago.

I’d say I get a decent amount of interest in my profile and I’m pretty confident about being able to hold conversations. I've been on roughly 10 first dates, of which 2–3 turned into second dates, but nothing progressed further. There have been a few guys I genuinely wanted to see again, but the interest seemingly wasn't mutual. I'm finding the rejection a little difficult and wondering if there's something I'm doing wrong.

I'm someone who takes time to develop attraction. I don't expect fireworks on a first date, especially with the nerves and awkwardness of meeting a stranger. If I find someone interesting, I'm usually open to a second date to explore the connection.

I've been reflecting on a few things that might be affecting my dates:

• Appearance: I look fairly similar to my pictures, although naturally more posed and put-together in photos. I'm also very short and petite (no boobs or butt lol), so while I’m not trying to misrepresent myself in my pictures, it might not be obvious without seeing me in person?
• Accent: I have an Indian accent, and I wonder if that surprises people or affects attraction.
• Flirting: I'm not naturally flirtatious with someone I've just met. I smile, laugh, make eye contact, and engage in conversation, but I struggle to create obvious romantic tension.
• Conversation: I try to ask thoughtful questions and show curiosity, but I can get carried away talking when I'm passionate about something. Maybe I come across as too chatty rather than composed?

Generally, I feel like my dates involve good conversations and laughter, but I don't always sense romantic interest from the other person.

Is this a normal first-to-second-date ratio on Hinge? Do most people expect an immediate spark? Or is there something about my approach that I should work on?

I'm open to constructive criticism. I know attraction can't be forced and dating takes time, but it's disappointing when I'd genuinely like to get to know someone better and don't get that second chance. Just trying to understand whether I'm overthinking a normal dating experience or missing something.

I wanna give it a try, but I’m not looking for something casual or just for fun. I’m 30+ and at a point where I want something serious. So, how do you even start, and is it worth it?

Are there any Apps/sites where you can view profiles, meet others to chat individually possibly, share experiences, etc…I’m married, but have been cheated on for a while…still happening, just looking to meet someone/others—or a few people …any ideas? Thanks!

I’m feeling a little Carrie Bradshaw (minus the whole Big part) at the moment, so please give me a second.

I’ve got to admit, I do agree with a lot of the traditional dating assumptions/norms. Let the guy ask you out, let him pay, and let him pursue. But….let him confuse you, too???

For context: I went out on a great first date with a guy I met on Hinge. I’m a 20 year-old something female working in corporate New York City, which I want to say is one of the most brutal places to date. Someone once told me that people don’t come to New York to find love (contrary to Carrie’s assistant) and I’m starting to think it’s incredibly true, because NYC it’s facing a no-single-guy-interested-in-a-relationship epidemic. But back to my story. The first date went great. He works in high finance, so typically incredibly busy during the week, but right after the first date, as in as soon as I got home, he asked me out on a second one. It also went incredibly good. Amazing conversation, lots of jokes and laughing and physical but playful touch. I’ll admit that we did hook up on the second date, which leads me to question if something has changed since then/because of that. But after the second date, he didn’t bring up a next potential date like he did before. No, I’m not saying that that’s a terrible thing, but he is pretty upfront, so my instant reaction was oh OK I guess it’s over, but….I want a certain answer.

And now back to reality: What is the general consensus on asking, “what are we doing where is this going?”

Okay okay yes, I agree that post-second date might be too early. But I also want to know….? The texting has been a little wishy-washy, not as upbeat as before, and I’ll also admit that we haven’t gotten to the phone number stage, just messaging on the app.

See the more I type this, the more I think I might be a crazy, insane lady who is gonna give this guy my wrath by swarming him with this question. But, I’ve been in the NYC/dating app game for a while. I’ve gone out on nice romantic dates and done the casual sex, and I’m at that point where I’m ready to take things serious and honestly don’t want to waste my time. He also did put that he’s looking for a long-term relationship, which I know could always be a lie, but you can’t blame a girl for referencing the facts he’s stating.

Your first instant reaction definitely was “He’s obviously not into you” but for the guys: could there be something else?

In short: can I just cut the shit and ask where this is going, or if we’ve already hit a dead end sign ? or do I conform to the age saying of wait and let him come to you?

Hi all, I am a guy 17M, I am in my final year of school and on track to do medicine at a great university, probably one of the top 10 unis in the uk, I am average height with decent looks but I have a little fat but lots of muscle, not to be egocentric but I look alright, my abs are almost coming out but I’m not a skinny guys so I’m kind of built. I am known for being kind and forgiving and really just a great person, I can’t really explain why but I meet girls to the point of getting to know them or being close friends quite rarely like extremely rarely due to a busy schedule and only having male only environments, but that doesn’t mean I’m awakard or anything, the problem is I had found the girl who I thought was the one, she wanted the same things, we found each other extremely attractive, and we enjoyed the same things, we would spend all our time together and we went out and it was GREAT I mean genuinely even now that thinking about it hurts it was the greatest day of my life and I would give anything to relive it. But three weeks ago, we were going through a slightly rough bit, she had her med entrance exam which didn’t go great meaning that she would have to resit as she didn’t want to settle for anything but literally the best few unis, which I completely respect, and then the week after I had family over so we couldn’t call at all then either, this meant two weeks had passed and we had not spent any time together, well, at the end of the two weeks I had a really really horrible day I sent her a message saying I wanted more and that I missed her but I worded it wrong and made it sound like it was me needing more or else we would be done, and she just let it end. I was expecting her to say something like she would try harder or we could spend more time but she was like I don’t think I can do this. I cleared my head and the next day I messaged saying I didn’t actually feel that way and I had just missed her and she said she had just lost feelings, now I’m not proud of how I reacted as I brought the conversation back up a few times, as we discussed what now until in the end we settled on people who just play the game together, well I thought it would be fine, I still had feelings and was confused and hurt but ok, 2 weeks after the breakup I had an interesting day and I tried to call her (after calling everyone else I considered a friend and them not picking up) and she said she couldn’t so I sent a bunch of voice notes kind of just going over everything, again not proud because we said talking wasn’t a great idea but she has now been directly ghosting me for a week and our mutuals said that it’s probably best if me and her don’t play for a while even in like a big group. And I just feel so lost, this all came from me having a bad day and I asked if she wanted to try and see if maybe we made a mistake and she said a hard no and asked me to respect her decision, I just feel so lost about how to feel as there are so many things I can’t even fit here like her saying I am wonderful and she does still really care about me but she can’t be the person I need, but her also saying that ignoring people is the single worst thing you can do to a person and made me promise to never do that to her. I have tried to talk to someone else, I am someone who really needs to have like a person otherwise nights get lonely and like the game gets boring and sad, but I can’t find anyone either because of my situation so idk what to do, I play valorant and Overwatch. Any advice?