u/midnight_wonderer7

May I please have some advise on my situation. 29 yo M ghosted me for about 2 week (while constantly watching my ig stories). He decided to pop back up yesterday by engaging with my story which I responded to casually on ig. Then he sent a text message to my phone about a post I made and didn’t even acknowledge his 2 wk absence and that sent me into a spiral because for the past 2 weeks my mind has been trying to fill in the gaps and I made soo many excuses for him thinking he was probably having tech issues which clearly isn’t the case. So I ended up crashing out but now I regret it because it was emotionally loaded…

I only sent him an audio msg basically telling him “Jay I’m gonna be very honest with you.. looking back, I actually let my guard down a whole lot. & that’s because I genuinely like you. But what I’m not going to do is sit here & entertain the inconsistency you’ve been giving me or allow myself to be treated casually. If you want to continue going ghost for weeks, I respect that, by all means, do you. You wanna be a ghost be my guest. But that’s not something I’m willing to participate in and I’m not standing for it. If you’re not serious about genuinely getting to know me and seeing where any of this could go, please, please do not text my phone. I don’t have time for silly games” I knowww it’s soo cringe 😬 but I was never taught how to navigate situations like these and my parents sucked. I think a bottle up soo much and let soo many things slide then I just end up exploding. Any advise will be greatly appreciated 😭

And just a little more background we’ve been knowing each other for a little over three years now. At first, he was the one who initiated dates. To be very honest most I canceled/rescheduled in the beginning because my guard was up… I did “ghost” him a couple times during his pursuit. However I gave it a chance and started to fall for him. But when I started to get comfortable and started initiating plans with him, that’s when things shifted. He seemed super busy & his communication died down. When I brought it to his attention he told me about a trip with his friends that he was preparing for and that his mother was in the hospital so he was very occupied and I understood. But I would like to think that since he’s a grown man, he could’ve simply just text me and be like “hey I have this and that going on, my communication might not be very strong at this moment”. Instead of disappearing & waiting hours/days to follow up on a plan that I initiated with him.
When I noticed the change in his energy, I started to blame myself and thought maybe if I gave him more attention in the beginning when he was trying to get with me things would be different. But like I said my guard was up. I’ve been hurt countless times in the past & I have a big heart that I wear on my sleeves… So I was very cautious… I know theres no excuse, but that was my situation. I try to tell myself OK maybe this is apart of dating & I just have to give him time in the dynamic to grow. I really tried to be reasonable and give him the benefit of the doubt.

There was also another situation that I feel had caused the shift in him because he probably knew he wasn’t gonna get what he really wanted… it was when we had went back to my place from a date. I genuinely thought it would just be like a chill night but he randomly said he needed to go to his car for something but instead he went and got condoms. I ended up kicking him out that night because I was honestly confused on what gave him the idea that I was open to sleeping with him. Especially if we never talked about anything like that. I understand letting him come into my place probably give him the idea, but it was simply to finish off our night with a movie and I had no other motives. Well after that we stopped talking for a while. With this situation, I thought maybe I’m tripping and he’s a man at the end of the day and as humans we’re all sexual beings and have that desire. So I ended up forgiving the situation & talking to him again… because I actually really grew to like him. (And no we never got intimate not even a shared kiss) so there’s nothing big keeping me attached. I just genuinely like him.

Should I just block him at this point and just remove all access he never responded to my audio message so I feel like that’s an answer.

I know this is really long and I am using talk to text so ignore any errors, I’m literally rambling. but can somebody please help me because I feel like I’ve been beating myself up a lot and I no longer wanna sit in that space of feeling like I was the one who ruined everything Male and female advice are welcome. It would actually be nice to get a male perspective on this as well. Thank you all for your help.

May I please have some advise on my situation. 29 yo M ghosted me for about 2 week (while constantly watching my ig stories). He decided to pop back up yesterday by engaging with my story which I responded to casually on ig. Then he sent a text message to my phone about a post I made and didn’t even acknowledge his 2 wk absence and that sent me into a spiral because for the past 2 weeks my mind has been trying to fill in the gaps and I made soo many excuses for him thinking he was probably having tech issues which clearly isn’t the case. So I ended up crashing out but now I regret it because it was emotionally loaded…

I only sent him an audio msg basically telling him “Jay I’m gonna be very honest with you.. looking back, I actually let my guard down a whole lot. & that’s because I genuinely like you. But what I’m not going to do is sit here & entertain the inconsistency you’ve been giving me or allow myself to be treated casually. If you want to continue going ghost for weeks, I respect that, by all means, do you. You wanna be a ghost be my guest. But that’s not something I’m willing to participate in and I’m not standing for it. If you’re not serious about genuinely getting to know me and seeing where any of this could go, please, please do not text my phone. I don’t have time for silly games” I knowww it’s soo cringe 😬 but I was never taught how to navigate situations like these and my parents sucked. I think a bottle up soo much and let soo many things slide then I just end up exploding. Any advise will be greatly appreciated 😭

And just a little more background we’ve been knowing each other for a little over three years now. At first, he was the one who initiated dates. To be very honest most I canceled/rescheduled in the beginning because my guard was up… I did “ghost” him a couple times during his pursuit. However I gave it a chance and started to fall for him. But when I started to get comfortable and started initiating plans with him, that’s when things shifted. He seemed super busy & his communication died down. When I brought it to his attention he told me about a trip with his friends that he was preparing for and that his mother was in the hospital so he was very occupied and I understood. But I would like to think that since he’s a grown man, he could’ve simply just text me and be like “hey I have this and that going on, my communication might not be very strong at this moment”. Instead of disappearing & waiting hours/days to follow up on a plan that I initiated with him.
When I noticed the change in his energy, I started to blame myself and thought maybe if I gave him more attention in the beginning when he was trying to get with me things would be different. But like I said my guard was up. I’ve been hurt countless times in the past & I have a big heart that I wear on my sleeves… So I was very cautious… I know theres no excuse, but that was my situation. I try to tell myself OK maybe this is apart of dating & I just have to give him time in the dynamic to grow. I really tried to be reasonable and give him the benefit of the doubt.

There was also another situation that I feel had caused the shift in him because he probably knew he wasn’t gonna get what he really wanted… it was when we had went back to my place from a date. I genuinely thought it would just be like a chill night but he randomly said he needed to go to his car for something but instead he went and got condoms. I ended up kicking him out that night because I was honestly confused on what gave him the idea that I was open to sleeping with him. Especially if we never talked about anything like that. I understand letting him come into my place probably give him the idea, but it was simply to finish off our night with a movie and I had no other motives. Well after that we stopped talking for a while. With this situation, I thought maybe I’m tripping and he’s a man at the end of the day and as humans we’re all sexual beings and have that desire. So I ended up forgiving the situation & talking to him again… because I actually really grew to like him. (And no we never got intimate not even a shared kiss) so there’s nothing big keeping me attached. I just genuinely like him.

Should I just block him at this point and just remove all access he never responded to my audio message so I feel like that’s an answer.

I know this is really long and I am using talk to text so ignore any errors, I’m literally rambling. but can somebody please help me because I feel like I’ve been beating myself up a lot and I no longer wanna sit in that space of feeling like I was the one who ruined everything Male and female advice are welcome. It would actually be nice to get a male perspective on this as well. Thank you all for your help.

May I please have some advise on my situation. 29 yo M ghosted me for about 2 week (while constantly watching my ig stories). He decided to pop back up yesterday by engaging with my story which I responded to casually on ig. Then he sent a text message to my phone about a post I made and didn’t even acknowledge his 2 wk absence and that sent me into a spiral because for the past 2 weeks my mind has been trying to fill in the gaps and I made soo many excuses for him thinking he was probably having tech issues which clearly isn’t the case. So I ended up crashing out but now I regret it because it was emotionally loaded…

I only sent him an audio msg basically telling him “Jay I’m gonna be very honest with you.. looking back, I actually let my guard down a whole lot. & that’s because I genuinely like you. But what I’m not going to do is sit here & entertain the inconsistency you’ve been giving me or allow myself to be treated casually. If you want to continue going ghost for weeks, I respect that, by all means, do you. You wanna be a ghost be my guest. But that’s not something I’m willing to participate in and I’m not standing for it. If you’re not serious about genuinely getting to know me and seeing where any of this could go, please, please do not text my phone. I don’t have time for silly games” I knowww it’s soo cringe 😬 but I was never taught how to navigate situations like these and my parents sucked. I think a bottle up soo much and let soo many things slide then I just end up exploding. Any advise will be greatly appreciated 😭

And just a little more background we’ve been knowing each other for a little over three years now. At first, he was the one who initiated dates. To be very honest most I canceled/rescheduled in the beginning because my guard was up… I did “ghost” him a couple times during his pursuit. However I gave it a chance and started to fall for him. But when I started to get comfortable and started initiating plans with him, that’s when things shifted. He seemed super busy & his communication died down. When I brought it to his attention he told me about a trip with his friends that he was preparing for and that his mother was in the hospital so he was very occupied and I understood. But I would like to think that since he’s a grown man, he could’ve simply just text me and be like “hey I have this and that going on, my communication might not be very strong at this moment”. Instead of disappearing & waiting hours/days to follow up on a plan that I initiated with him.
When I noticed the change in his energy, I started to blame myself and thought maybe if I gave him more attention in the beginning when he was trying to get with me things would be different. But like I said my guard was up. I’ve been hurt countless times in the past & I have a big heart that I wear on my sleeves… So I was very cautious… I know theres no excuse, but that was my situation. I try to tell myself OK maybe this is apart of dating & I just have to give him time in the dynamic to grow. I really tried to be reasonable and give him the benefit of the doubt.

There was also another situation that I feel had caused the shift in him because he probably knew he wasn’t gonna get what he really wanted… it was when we had went back to my place from a date. I genuinely thought it would just be like a chill night but he randomly said he needed to go to his car for something but instead he went and got condoms. I ended up kicking him out that night because I was honestly confused on what gave him the idea that I was open to sleeping with him. Especially if we never talked about anything like that. I understand letting him come into my place probably give him the idea, but it was simply to finish off our night with a movie and I had no other motives. Well after that we stopped talking for a while. With this situation, I thought maybe I’m tripping and he’s a man at the end of the day and as humans we’re all sexual beings and have that desire. So I ended up forgiving the situation & talking to him again… because I actually really grew to like him. (And no we never got intimate not even a shared kiss) so there’s nothing big keeping me attached. I just genuinely like him.

Should I just block him at this point and just remove all access he never responded to my audio message so I feel like that’s an answer.

I know this is really long and I am using talk to text so ignore any errors, I’m literally rambling. but can somebody please help me because I feel like I’ve been beating myself up a lot and I no longer wanna sit in that space of feeling like I was the one who ruined everything Male and female advice are welcome. It would actually be nice to get a male perspective on this as well. Thank you all for your help.

May I please have some advise on my situation. 29 yo M ghosted me for about 2 week (while constantly watching my ig stories). He decided to pop back up yesterday by engaging with my story which I responded to casually on ig. Then he sent a text message to my phone about a post I made and didn’t even acknowledge his 2 wk absence and that sent me into a spiral because for the past 2 weeks my mind has been trying to fill in the gaps and I made soo many excuses for him thinking he was probably having tech issues which clearly isn’t the case. So I ended up crashing out but now I regret it because it was emotionally loaded…

I only sent him an audio msg basically telling him “Jay I’m gonna be very honest with you.. looking back, I actually let my guard down a whole lot. & that’s because I genuinely like you. But what I’m not going to do is sit here & entertain the inconsistency you’ve been giving me or allow myself to be treated casually. If you want to continue going ghost for weeks, I respect that, by all means, do you. You wanna be a ghost be my guest. But that’s not something I’m willing to participate in and I’m not standing for it. If you’re not serious about genuinely getting to know me and seeing where any of this could go, please, please do not text my phone. I don’t have time for silly games” I knowww it’s soo cringe 😬 but I was never taught how to navigate situations like these and my parents sucked. I think a bottle up soo much and let soo many things slide then I just end up exploding. Any advise will be greatly appreciated 😭

And just a little more background we’ve been knowing each other for a little over three years now. At first, he was the one who initiated dates. To be very honest most I canceled/rescheduled in the beginning because my guard was up… I did “ghost” him a couple times during his pursuit. However I gave it a chance and started to fall for him. But when I started to get comfortable and started initiating plans with him, that’s when things shifted. He seemed super busy & his communication died down. When I brought it to his attention he told me about a trip with his friends that he was preparing for and that his mother was in the hospital so he was very occupied and I understood. But I would like to think that since he’s a grown man, he could’ve simply just text me and be like “hey I have this and that going on, my communication might not be very strong at this moment”. Instead of disappearing & waiting hours/days to follow up on a plan that I initiated with him.
When I noticed the change in his energy, I started to blame myself and thought maybe if I gave him more attention in the beginning when he was trying to get with me things would be different. But like I said my guard was up. I’ve been hurt countless times in the past & I have a big heart that I wear on my sleeves… So I was very cautious… I know theres no excuse, but that was my situation. I try to tell myself OK maybe this is apart of dating & I just have to give him time in the dynamic to grow. I really tried to be reasonable and give him the benefit of the doubt.

There was also another situation that I feel had caused the shift in him because he probably knew he wasn’t gonna get what he really wanted… it was when we had went back to my place from a date. I genuinely thought it would just be like a chill night but he randomly said he needed to go to his car for something but instead he went and got condoms. I ended up kicking him out that night because I was honestly confused on what gave him the idea that I was open to sleeping with him. Especially if we never talked about anything like that. I understand letting him come into my place probably give him the idea, but it was simply to finish off our night with a movie and I had no other motives. Well after that we stopped talking for a while. With this situation, I thought maybe I’m tripping and he’s a man at the end of the day and as humans we’re all sexual beings and have that desire. So I ended up forgiving the situation & talking to him again… because I actually really grew to like him. (And no we never got intimate not even a shared kiss) so there’s nothing big keeping me attached. I just genuinely like him.

Should I just block him at this point and just remove all access he never responded to my audio message so I feel like that’s an answer.

I know this is really long and I am using talk to text so ignore any errors, I’m literally rambling. but can somebody please help me because I feel like I’ve been beating myself up a lot and I no longer wanna sit in that space of feeling like I was the one who ruined everything Male and female advice are welcome. It would actually be nice to get a male perspective on this as well. Thank you all for your help.