r/DatingHell

Long Story Short I was Talking To this one guy on a dating app and we were having nice conversation then he asked me out for a dinner and since it was our first time meeting I said let’s meet for brunch. Mind you I had to select the time and place which okay I’m willing to give him benefit of the doubt cause he’s from different city. I arrive first then he arrives maybe after like 10 or 15 minutes, and not to sound like a rude bitch but he looked better in pictures no shade lol. He didn’t have flowers, neither did he opened the door or held the door, nor did he offered to pay for the drink. If anything he was walking behind me, which I thought was so pathetic tbh. Then we went inside a candle shop where he was laughing at a bag that said “that’s the least I could do” and I was like you find low effort funny? Ntm he lives with his 7 siblings SEVEN- and he’s the oldest one. Should have known this guy is a bum when I saw he’s a Virgo like why are all Virgo men trash?? Oh also his white privileged bum ass isn’t into politics like wow okay shocking.

Hi, this is my first post and I just want to vent about what happened yesterday on a first date with a guy. We met on Tinder about a week ago, then kept talking on Instagram, but he would reply every 5–6 hours. Even so, I agreed to go out with him yesterday because I found him physically attractive, but up until that point I didn’t know his age (I’m F21).

A few minutes before meeting, he changed the meeting spot and we ended up at a supermarket with a café inside. When we sat down, he pulled out an already opened bottle of wine and two glasses. I felt suspicious, but I still drank. The whole time we were there, he talked almost nonstop about all the foreign friends he had.

Then we went to eat, and up to that point I thought things were going okay because we shared almost the same tastes (even though he barely let me talk about myself). During that time, he was holding my hand without asking me. After eating, he suggested we go for a walk. We ended up sitting near a well-lit but empty park, and again he took out his wine and offered me more. I refused, especially because I was feeling really sleepy (this usually happens when I drink). That’s when he confessed that he had lied about his age on Tinder—he said he was 37 instead of 24. WHAT THE HELL? From that moment on, I told myself, “Nope, this isn’t it.”

We kept walking through the neighborhood, which I should mention was already dark and pretty empty. I told him we should go somewhere more crowded because that area gets robbed a lot at night, and he said, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to kidnap you. If anything, you could kidnap me with all the wine I’ve had,” and then he started hugging me from behind (I’m not really into physical contact). So I just awkwardly said, “Haha… yeah…”

Luckily, we were close to a mall, so we went in. It was around 8 pm and I already wanted to end things because I didn’t feel comfortable anymore. So I told him I had a lot of work and needed to leave. He offered to wait with me until my Uber arrived, and while we were sitting, he leaned in and started rubbing against me, trying to get physical, like hugging me tightly. Then he whispered in my ear, “Well, now we just have to say goodbye.” IT FELT ETERNAL. When the Uber arrived, he grabbed my face and tried to kiss me, but I pulled away and told him, “Sorry, I’m not the type to kiss like that.” He seemed kind of upset. I got into the Uber, thanked him for everything, and left. He hasn’t texted me today, but honestly, after finding out his real age and how dishonest he was, I just don’t have a good feeling about him.

It was truly love at first sight. I put in the effort to initiate contact and get to know her well enough to ask her on a date. We’ve been dating for almost 2 months however, she’s been on a vacation with her best friend and it’s gonna be exactly one month…. When she left it was our 1 month anniversary and when she gets back it’ll be our 2 month anniversary. Do I sound crazy for saying that I know wholeheartedly she’s the woman I want to marry? Any advice is appreciated.
Thank you in advance

Went to a girls house after a date and stayed the night. I started to feel sick around 4am and waited until the morning to use the washroom.

Woke up the next morning and had to use the washroom, but she was in the main one so I went to the one in the basement. To my surprise, the toilet wasn’t working but I saw pee pads and just lined it on the ground, pooped in it and tossed it out in the garbage outside all while she was in the shower.

I’m hoping she’ll never find out. But I also understand if she finds out and judges me, hates me and maybe murders me. If you’re seeing this, I’m so sorry lol

Hello dosto! Bestie ne bola i should reddit dump as my 9month long situationship/casual dating but not so casual whatever ended today…

BEAR WITH ME.

Phew. Okay. So. We met on hinge, i had a fun chatty phase so for the first time i used hinge and added 6 people on Instagram after using it for a week. This is last September. Eventually 4 of them fizzled out, kuch bana nhi khas after initial stuff. November aa gya, one of 2 remaining guys asked me out and like we hadn’t flirted once, i was just talking ki dekhte h kya hi hoga. I went out totally surprised, no expectations, and it was really good. We went on dates whole Nov, Dec, Jan.

Stayed the night w him after 2months, we had a good thing going, i was okay with casual even. He was genuinely nice, attentive, respectful, sweet, my type and we had such fun conversations which were witty AND flirty. Checked all my boxes. We would give each other tiny gifts, (got me earrings and a necklace on different occasions) i even gave him a painting i did myself w a personal message cus he celebrates Christmas.

Note: Texting was in a gap of hours, no calls, sometimes we would have conversations on text at a flow but mostly when we met. I was okay w it, and busy w my college etc.

February— he almost vanishes. Dry convos. It was weird, for more than 2 weeks this went on, i gave up on valentines day frustrated w the nonchalance and asked him if he’s not interested i would rather he just says so. He says sorry, i feel blue, drained of social battery, wanna stay at home, didn’t want to just be like u should come over etc. We had a whole conversation, he would reply after a day or so and i was like OK, i get it everyone has those i dont feel like going out phase.

We met after a month. Kinda awkward i think mostly cus i was feeling weird and had questions like maybe he doesn’t like me anymore it’s different now. Then a week later on some discussion he mentioned if i have an issue i should just tell him, ofc he likes me, i need not overthink., blah blah.

Cut to march, april, may — we met once each month, i had academic stuff, he had job stuff, schedules wouldn’t line up. We understood. But something was weird. Since march i had been feeling strongly for him, like i wanted more, but we had never discussed what we are what do we want.. i thought maybe ill go w the flow we can figure it out, we did mention once in early dates that casual dating is good, going w the flow and all. I had now been noticing these details i didn’t before.. how he smiles, how his different laughs sound, his face when he wants to kiss me but im speaking so he’s just looking at me like that, or how he moves, how sexy he sounds when he speaks in his native language (we only spoke in english), you get the picture.

I would send him those flirty posts on Instagram, we would text still in gaps but like since forever this one conversation had been continued, i secretly started wanting some initiative from him, cus ofc i was now noticing how involved he is. We were once seeing each others liked posts and he was like haww you didn’t send this to me and i was like you dont send me stuff either and then he was like i send when i see i get busy w work and when i get back at the flat i make dinner and stuff, no energy, etc, then after much discussion i realised later when you like someone, it’s not dependant on how much they give you right?

I decided i wont stop myself from sending/saying stuff i want to. I mean sure is after a point this does matter ofc. But until then, i can control how and what i wanna express, everyone has different ways to express, i might find out more since atp we are more comfortable w each other - mentally and physically. I kept thinking if i am really liking this person. For real. What does this mean? How do i ask him? What if he only wants physical? I would be on and off in denial. I was like eh. I don’t want this. I had no expectations. You get the gist.

April, we met and i almost asked him what are we. I built up and was like my friends want me to ask what is this, they’ve been asking if you’re still in hinge, blah blah, he was like right cus there’s no labels? And at that point, meri fatt gyi. I was just like yeah. He asked me do you wanna discuss? And i was like hm? Noo. If we wanted to talk about it we would have. (Fuck u anxiety) He just agreed.

Stupid me, i still didn’t realise why i chickened out. A week later i realised it is because (1) i don’t want him to go away (2) i am not truly sure what i want him to say. Am i ready for a full blown relationship? So i decided, that ill either try to be nonchalant like him, if i can’t ill tell him we shouldn’t see each other. (I kinda knew i cant be chalant for the life of me lol but i wanted to see him once before this conversation incase it goes south. I was like ill do it in person next we meet)

May, June — i had exams, last semester, ton of work, he had work as well and then just before my exams ended he was to spend half of his june in his hometown. Most of this time either i was busy, then he was like im having those low social battery phase again. He wouldn’t reply for 2days at one point. I got frustrated, i told him its ok dude talk to me when you have time, this is waaay exhausting, and he was like i like talking to you, he apologised a lot, and said i am very nice to him and he feels bad, me being angry or resentful is justified.

And honestly? Atp i wasn’t. I didn’t know where this is going. I couldn’t help but see:
I initiate any flirty conversations
I mostly carry the conversations
I express i like him
I send him those posts or reels and hes simply existing
I make an effort to make up a lie and stay over
I really reaaaaallly liked him but his inconsistency was turning me off.

By june i couldn’t give enough fucks to pretend im okay with this, i didn’t initiate, i didn’t do anything extra. I also didn’t play those games where people count the number of hours and stuff before replying. We did talk everyday now (in gap texts) but random stuff. I am a simple person, i replied him when i saw his text, no matter when he texted me, i trusted hes sincere. His energy was off as well, my cousins would jokingly say he’s seeing someone else, and i cant deny this thought hadn’t crossed my mind. (Also the last week or so had been good, we even flirted and he was like “i miss kissing you” and all that!)

We planned to meet today. I was like finally i can have that conversation and be relieved whatever may happen. And surpise surpise. Before we decided on details in the morning as per usual he says he’s been seeing someone. “A long distance, no labels, no commitment thing” that he’s still figuring out. Just a day before i genuinely had thought to myself, if he isnt double dating and still being this way, thats a much worse situation to be in. He wanted to know what we are before continuing further.

I kid you not, he said all these things in a span of thirty minutes (1) he wants a meaningful romantic connection with me (2) we should be friends; “not close all doors” (3) he likes someone else now and “what if i think of them” and that “intimacy would be an issue if we meet today” (4) “we shouldn’t end this definitively” (5) he still doesn’t know where we are going

☺️ can someone shoot me?

I was patient. I showed empathy. I tried to understand him. I didn’t nag. I didn’t pressure him to be something. I didn’t make a fuss out of things. I made efforts, i took initiative.

If you would read our conversation it sounds as if i am the one who’s made it purely physical and he needs to know his place so he can continue whatever tf he wanted w this other girl. (Who by the way is like go see other people, i am doing it too.) I wont say my communication was the best, but atleast i tried to talk. There’s only so much i can do while im already going out on a limb for what felt like almost all the time to me.

I am actually kinda relieved as well. But he was so caring, educated, like genuinely even doing well in life, and idk seemd like a lovely person. I am baffled he would rather start talking to other people than have a straight conversation. What the fuck did i even do wrong?

Also. Idk who has it worse between the both of us here💀💀💀

TL;DR: Unexpectedly fun hinge date turned into 9 months of casual dating/situationship, it was really good first couple of months, later he became inconsistent. Replied hours later, busy with work and what not. I showed empathy. He reassured me. Before I could ask today (he didn’t ask previously either) where we stood, he told me he’d started seeing someone else but still wanted me in his life. Genuinely asking: where did this go wrong?

NEED ADVICE.

I was seeing a a guy for about three months. It was going really well. This was my first id say relational dynamic in my 20s. Im 26 female and him 29 male. Connection was there and everything seemed well.

I would say im somewhat anxiously attached so for some reason kept asking questions about his ex and past even though I had no reason to. Just my insecurity. He was always open. I then researched his family and told him about it and he didn’t say anything until I asked him a playful question like ‘what do you even like about me’ which seemed to trigger him and he said that if I cannot see through his efforts what I like then there are doubts. He did put in a lot of effort to be fair. He said it is exhausting because when I ask questions like this (I have before) it is like I need validation.

We ended up arguing and he withdrew and said he wants to end this dynamic and also brought up the searching of his family and said he feels like I want to know everything about him immediately and that trust has to be earnt. I tried to apologise and fix it but he told me Id find someone more aligned. He said I had crossed his boundaries.

He treated me well and it is a shame it did not work, but I also cannot chase. I did take accountability.

I am learning to self-soothe and not seek validation through others now.

I am 47F and I matched with a guy who is 34 on FB Dating about 2 months ago.I am new to the dating scene after being married for 20 years. Don't really know why younger men want older women, but whatever. Anyway, we flirted through text for about a week before we met. We talked on the phone about everything. We had great chemistry. I just didn't feel like we had great in person chemistry at all. I told him that I wasn't interested in him and I unmatched from him. Since then, he has liked my profile 3 times and yesterday sent me a message in messenger. All he said was, "Hey. How are you". I told him that I am with someone (which I am) and to please leave me alone. I blocked him and deleted my profile yesterday. Is this a normal thing?? Did he think that I had changed my mind??

(Btw, I did meet someone on the site almost 5 months ago and just realized that I had feelings for him and so we are going to try it.)

Hi! 26F, never dated in my life. I think I have a very specific type of person I’d date in mind and so when I’m on the dating apps, I mostly swipe left because the people don’t match my « criteria »

When I match with someone, it’s rarely ever serious. I will get to the point of locking in a date, and then I make sure they know they’re not getting sex out of me and then I get ghosted.

TLDR; the men I seem to like only want sex.

Am I the problem here 😭

Editing to add a couple more insights:

1. My criteria/type: I like guys who have their shit together, is smart, ambitious, and confident. I love someone who can banter back and forth with me. I like someone who’s more low-key but has a strong presence.

Physically, I definitely have a thing for dark hair, dark eyes, a nice beard, and someone who’s well put together.
2. I come from an upbringing where sex before marriage is very frowned upon and it has totally bled over my dating life. I can't fathom the idea of having sex with someone before marriage.

I moved to Bangalore a while ago, and one thing everyone told me was, "You'll meet amazing people here." I believed it.

A few weeks ago, I matched with a girl on a dating app. We spoke for almost two weeks. The conversations were great, she'd send good morning texts, share memes, and even talk about future travel plans. It genuinely felt like we were getting to know each other.

Finally, we decided to meet at a café in Indiranagar.

The date actually went well. We talked for nearly three hours, laughed a lot, and she even said we should meet again soon. Before leaving, she hugged me and said, "Text me when you get home."

I did.

No reply.

I thought maybe she was busy, so I waited.

The next day... nothing.

Two days later... still nothing.

Then I noticed she was posting Instagram stories, active on WhatsApp, but my messages stayed unread. A week later, I realized she'd quietly unfollowed me and removed me from her followers too.

No explanation. No "I didn't feel the connection." Not even a simple "Take care."

What confused me wasn't the rejection—everyone has the right to lose interest. It was how someone can go from acting genuinely interested in person to disappearing without saying a single word.

That experience taught me something: chemistry during a date doesn't always mean consistency afterward.

I'm not angry anymore, just a little disappointed. I guess ghosting has become so normal that basic honesty is now considered rare.

Has anyone else in Bangalore experienced something similar, or was I just unlucky?

Super early pregnant it’s a complicated situation, but I wanna date and definitely want to not be sexless for a year or two.
Is it utterly crazy to think that men would want to date a woman who is pretty awesome but early stage pregnant? My friends think I’m nuts. Men, I would love to hear from you.

So I 33F started seeing a guy 32M a few weeks ago and we hit it off. We know of each other from the past but now just started exploring really getting to know each other.

I’ve always been attracted to him and he finally made a move and took me out. It’s been a great few weeks, he’s treating me well, the sex is amazing, and I enjoy his company. But he recently got out of a relationship, so he’s looking to take things slowly and intentionally, and see where they go.

But my thing is, is that he has female friends and he was supposed to be on a group trip, but it ended up just being him and another woman, that I’m not sure if it’s a platonic friend or if it’s more.. my problem is that he was being really weird when I was asking about who’s going on the trip with him, and he was being very vague and saying it was just a friend.. I found out on my own that it’s a woman he’s with.

I know we’re not exclusive and it’s early but I like honesty and transparency. I need advice, red flag?

How do I cope with always being the second choice or the girl guys keep on the back burner. Many a time I have started speaking to a guy and as soon as he sees my friends he immediately ditches me for them. I have numerous examples and I’m honestly surprised after those experiences I’m still open to dating. I remember I was on a date with a guy and my friend was at the same bar, she came to say hi and my date turns to me and he’s like she’s gorgeous/beautiful, another example with a different friend I was planning to go on a date with this guy, I posted a group photo with my friend and he asked for her Instagram (safe to say I removed him) ANOTHER example was when I was at a bbq I was really connecting with this guy, I got up to get a drink and when I returned he was speaking to my friend (they ended up dating for 6 months). These are all different friends and I have so so many examples. The thing is I’m not ugly, I get complimented by strangers at work, on the street. But all the guys I’ve been interested in always have their sights set on greener pastures. I TRY so hard to not get into my head about it but it’s happened so many times that I’m debating just removing myself from the dating pool. Another example is a guy I was seeing casually dropping that one of my friends was a “good looking girl” unprovoked - I tried to ignore it, but ultimately he stopped talking to me with no real explanation. Some days I debate whether I should bite the bullet at get cosmetic surgery because I think that’s the only way I will stand out amongst the sea of women. I’m looking for people that may have been in similar situations that can reassure me things get better because my confidence just keeps getting knocked further and further

Let's hear some unpopular opinions.

What's one red flag in dating or relationships that people tend to overlook until it becomes a bigger problem?

Could be about communication, trust, social media, friendships, money, family dynamics, or anything else.

Keep it respectful and let's see how divided the comments get. 👀🍿

I’m bored let’s start naming names. These men need to be outted.

Yesterday I had the weirdest and worst date of my life. It all started when I let a femboy acquaintance of mine know that I was visiting his city. He responded super enthusiastically, which made me really happy. He initially suggested we just kiss and cuddle, which would have been completely fine by me, but then he kept escalating and hinting at doing something more serious. I didn't want to reject him, so we agreed on a specific time.

​The next day, I took the subway to his district. By the way, it was my first time in that area, and honestly, my first time navigating the subway completely on my own without relatives. I ended up being slightly late because of anxiety, but nothing critical. When I arrived, I bought him a corn dog because he mentioned he was a bit hungry, and I wanted to be nice and take care of him.

​We walked around for a bit, and he took me to a spot near his old place because, according to him, there wouldn't be many people around. Once we got there, I started hinting at going inside a building entrance to finally get that kiss. Suddenly, his entire demeanor shifted, and he completely changed his mind. He said something like, "Dude, honestly, I flip-flop on how I feel about guys and femboys all the time, and I feel like I'd have a total mental breakdown if we even hold hands."

​Mind you, we both look great; it wasn't about appearance, how long we've known each other, or anything like that. Everything would have been fine if he had just told me this before I traveled all the way across a huge, unfamiliar city completely alone. His excuse was that he just got caught up in the moment earlier due to "post-nut clarity" (he wanted that kind of intimacy right after masturbating, then changed his mind). Again, I wouldn't even have a problem with that if he hadn't waited until I was already on my way. He had plenty of time to rethink his decision, but he chose to tell me only after I had already arrived.

​When I got home, I confronted him and laid it all out. He only sent three dry messages saying he regretted not kissing me, but completely ignored the fact that he should have warned me beforehand.

So I recently starting talking to this guy. We’ve hung out and he responds throughout the day and tells me he’s interested, but I keep seeing his following go up. Feeling like I’m a second choice has always been an insecurity for me and I know he’s still on the apps and I think he’s adding girl after girl (from the apps) on his instagram. I’ll even see his following go up multiple times while still being on delivered on both instagram and messages.

Now I’m one of those people that can’t talk to/entertain multiple people at once. And we’re not exclusive so it’s fine if he’s talking to other girls. I want to ask him about it (hopefully he’s honest). But why say your this interested in moving forward with me if your adding so many people onto social media.

I guess I’m asking should I bring it up? How should I do it if I do? And what kind of things should I be thinking about it? Because we’re planning on seeing each other again in a few days and I don’t want to bring it up over text, but I also don’t want it to eat away at me. But he’s also not going to have service this weekend, so theres not really a point in bringing it up unless I say something tonight.

This is my(27M) story. Done with my master's in BLR and moved to HYD 3 years ago for work.

Visited my friends in BLR in July, 2024, planned an outing to TORQ- Marathahalli and that’s when I met her (29F now, 27F then), a friend of a friend. We played laser tag, bowling, go-karting, and pool, after which some of us returned to my friend's flat for an after-party. We started to get comfortable around each other as it started to get late, and eventually I convinced her and carried her to the room where I was staying. Being new to this, then, I couldn't perform, and we just cuddled and slept through the night after she showed me some photos of her family. The next morning, we got up and tried to replace the things we used without asking my friend. I was extremely anxious for a week about what had happened and returned to HYD.

A week later, I got her request on IG, and I accepted as soon as I saw that. We started talking on video calls, texts and phone calls. We tried to understand each other. She is from a small town near Vijayawada. Although she works at a well-respected MNC, she has next to no career aspirations. She has been observing her older sister and her then boyfriend (now husband) from childhood and always wanted a great relationship like theirs. Hearing a 2-years older girl discuss these things with me scared me then. I had no thought of marriage ever(I was 25). I could not promise her anything and said we should keep things casual. We kept on talking to each other day and night as we got to know each other better with time(at least I did, IDK about her). Since she lived in a PG, I could not visit her in BLR as we would have no place to stay.

A few months later, I shifted my flat in HYD and invited her to come over for a few days. She immediately booked a bus and showed up at my door. One of the best sights I had ever seen. She stayed with me for more than a week, and she was the best company I ever had. Had no track of time as we glided through the city on my bike, going to the movies, restaurants and bars. She was a calming sight every morning I woke up next to her. As the day she had to return to BLR came, she broke down, hugging me, saying she would miss me, and she was looking for a permanent relationship. I broke down alongside her and could not let her go. Not knowing what to say, I asked her if her parents were looking for any matches. She said yes, and that no one among the matches was coming forward as her father could not afford dowry/ has any properties (her words, not mine). Not knowing what to say, I was trying to console my 2 years older situationship-friend, and we both continued crying till the time for her to start for BLR came. With a heavy heart, I came back to my empty room and struggled for a few days to live in the empty room.

We continued our calls, and I used to send her flowers, chocolates or some food from time to time. Used to listen to her workplace rants day and night. Now I know every good, bad and decent human in her office and how her office layout is, which team sits next to her, all the office politics & affairs and the characters involved, how dogs scare her despite having one of her own husky in her home town, how everyone in her family is, how her relatives react to the topic of her marriage, how she wants a relationship like her sister and BIL have, where her office took her to parties, which place sent her inadequate food, how her mom finds happenstance comfortable, how she gifts her dad some good whisky, what were the struggles she faced in getting a dishwasher installed in her hometown,..basically every thing she lives about. She used to talk to me about liquor, as her work requires her to handle some supply chain stuff for the same. She visited HYD a couple more times, and each time our connection felt better than the last time.

Last november she texted me that she got a match and the marriage was fixed. Being blown over by this, I did not know what to say. I texted congratulating her, and then she asked me why we can't work this out; she even went into self-doubt and asked if she does not meet my standards. These words made me equally happy and scared. The girl never verbally said "I love u"; she always jumped right to marriage, and I kept telling her that I am in no place to marry anyone right now. She even told me that she would wait, and I could not ask her to wait years for me till whenever I am ready. I called her later and told her that I am deleting all our memories and that I am blocking her everywhere, as her marriage was fixed. A few days later, I unblocked her, and she reached out, saying the wedding was called off for some reason. She made it clear that I was not the reason for calling it off. She told me that she needs some space, and she will contact me if she feels like it. Understanding that she is going through a lot and out of respect for her, I gave her just that. Months passed. Had no contact. I started to lose my mind, binge-watched TV shows day and night, and had no sleep for 8 days straight. Understanding that I am destroying myself, I started working out and eating healthy. Missed my friend's wedding in BLR as I had no guts to land in that city, as her memories continued to consume me.

On 7th Feb, 9:07 am, she texted "Gm Dheeraj!". Usually, I would be in deep sleep at that time, but for once, I woke up to the sound of a notification. Had to confirm if I was dreaming and instantly hit video call. The sight of her on my screen made me emotional. She told me that she has been busy the last few months, that she went back to her hometown, did some job prep and cracked a new role within the same organisation. I told her how much I missed her, and we talked for hours. I asked her to come to HYD, and she immediately booked tickets. We spent the entire Valentine's week together. Her innocent charm filled my room for 10 days. Watched many movies in the cinemas, in the room, in restaurants and on night drives. She held on to me tight the entire visit.

Later, she shifted to a flat in Hennur for her new role, and now we have a place to stay if I want to visit her. She sent me a few options while looking for a flat and finalised one in a society. During the transition she was about to go for a credit card EMI, and I did not let her - lent her some (she returned a couple of months later)(ig as a man who can't express anything, this is one of the few ways to show that I care). I was looking for opportunities to visit her, and then I came IPL. She booked us tickets, and I came to BLR. Although I've been to BLR many times, this time the visit seemed like a dream. The traffic I dreaded seemed like a minor flaw throughout the visit. Started to appreciate the city as I came closer to her flat. And there she was, waiting for me by the gate. I was approaching her, not knowing what to say. Went to the flat and held her so tight. I even visited my friend whose wedding I missed in BLR during no contact, as I was afraid of my emotions. We were having the time of our lives. Visited a few restaurants in Kalyan Nagar, Manyata and some expensive tiffin place :P The day before I leave for HYD, I visited a few of my CLG friends in BLR and came home late that night, only to find her crying cause I was late. Hearing this while I was drunk af, I did not know what to do. She just left the room and slept on the sofa for the rest of the night. The next morning, she came to me with a smile, and we were making the most of the time we had left as I was leaving for HYD the same day. The city I hated for its flaws suddenly felt so romantic and worth the metro expense. Guess she made it special for me. We continued our routine for the next 2 months.

Then I noticed that Bakrid and Telangana formation day long weekend was coming soon and I should use this opportunity to visit her again. 1 week before the long weekend, we were on a video call, and my sound system was playing songs in the background. She lost her cool, saying I was watching reels while talking to her. I told her it was the songs and she kept saying Why do you even call me? We are nobody to each other. I told her that I am planning to visit BLR during the long weekend, and she refused, saying I need not come just cause we were fighting over something. I kept begging her for 4 days, and she kept saying no. Since the long weekend has approached, I asked her if I should go to my hometown, as she is not letting me visit her. She told me to go. I booked tickets to my hometown and, with a heavy heart, boarded the bus. As the bus passed out of the HYD outskirts, and it was 12:37 am, 27th May, she texted, " Will you come to BLR?" I was immediately pissed off. I've been begging for the same for over a week now. I can't get off the bus at 1 am in the middle of nowhere. My parents were expecting me at home now. She even asked me to catch a flight to BLR once I reach there, or she will take one to my hometown. I said no to both ideas as it would be very difficult to do both without raising questions back home. She immediately said she could find 100 people like me on Hinge. IDK what to say to something like that. After some time that night, we cooled off and started texting and making calls again. She said

"I’m crying here

Get lost

I’m already not well

I just took half day off

I’m feeling sick

But still sitting & working

I don’t know what to do

I’ve to update the work PPT

I’ve to present tomorrow morning at 7:30 AM

I’m going through a lot

Better leave me alone. Don’t torture me

😭

go home and relax

Honestly I’m missing you

thats why i am turning psychotic

I did not take you seriously when you said you will go home

That’s my mistake

Now, let’s leave everything

I’m normal now

Let’s not drag"

same evening-

"My name- at least try this weekend

do something"

Wednesday night, she was asking for projector recommendations as she felt the room was pretty boring and I gave her some. She ordered that in blinkit and we set it up together over video call. She showed me how the screen was by holding the phone for minutes.

Thursday morning she was WFH and she sent me a 🔥 pic and said she need me there types. Same night we went on a video call for hours talking about whats happening in our lives and I sent her a waffle as she likes them so much.

Then came Friday, she texted me asking me not to contact her, and she would reach out by herself. I waited the entire weekend for her text. On Monday (1st June), she texted me saying she met someone with a similar mindset about marriage in Electronic City, as she went there to give an interview for Schneider Electric, and that they are both interested in each other. She wants to give it a try and give him a chance, and she kept calling him genuine. She said she's been talking to him for 2 days and decided to meet him. She says she did not plan any of it and it all happened by chance. She says she was depressed and wanted to give someone else a chance and never thought that she would meet someone like him and he is really good. she said she wants to take a step and she and i were fighting and she remembers the last time she got a match and I blocked her. This time she wants to do the same to me and blocked me on WA. I did not know what to do. Felt so helpless and returned back to HYD.

June 7- I gave it 5 days as I was confident about what we had and noticed that her IG followers and following went down. I sent her something on IG to start a conversation and she said that they are going to proceed with the next step and that she did not tell him about me and just said bye. With a heavy heart I wrote her my feelings and that we belong together right from the day we cried together. I have always been there when she was low. I told her that 10days is too less to decide about these things and that she's walking blind into a brick wall. She has seen the texts and left me on read. I cannot live through another no contact with her. I immediately booked the last flight to BLR and ran to the airport. Called my friend in BLR to pick me up.

I entered the society and knocked on her door. She did not answer for many minutes, and she came out and dragged me downstairs, holding my hand. She did not let me enter the flat. She kept pulling me away from society onto Hennur roads. She kept asking me if I could not let her be happy and that I had come to harass her. She kept pulling me away and told me that the new guy won't marry her anymore, as I had shown up. Realising she is in bed with a new guy, the same weekend we both wanted to meet so badly, tore me apart. Even after this revelation, I kept asking her to marry me, told her I would sort everything out with him once I spoke to him, and I admitted to my commitment issues. She kept saying she was not interested in me and even told her parents about the new guy(within 10days of meeting him). She had no concern about me whatsoever in her eyes. The same eyes that begged for my contact when we had our moments. She kept saying that I am harassing her and had no regard for our 2 years of relationship. She just dropped me like a toy she does not want to play with anymore. She was only concerned about someone she met 10days ago. She says she has been on Hinge for months now. I tried to convince her as much as I could. While all this was happening, the street dogs showed up, and she came running to me. As I mentioned earlier, she is scared of dogs. She started running away from me, and I was confused about why she was doing so. I followed her and then realised how the CCTV around us would record this, and I slowed down. Then she called the police on me, saying that I am harassing her. I asked her if this is what our 2 years of relationship gets? She continued talking to the police. I tried for 5 more mins and realised the cops could show up any minute now. I started running away from her on Kalyan Nagar roads. The same roads we had our biryani, pizza and tiffin dates. The same roads we were making memories on a couple of months ago. The same roads I walked beside her, deciding if we had enough room for more dessert after a heavy biryani lunch. So many questions, so many memories, so many tears shed together and the ending (?) I get. Did she ever love me, or was I just a convenience? Was she always like this? Bringing others into her room when she wanted as blamed it on depression? Always used me? I know she did not. But till what point was it real? How can she act so cold? She was literally missing me so much and said she was depressed and gave someone a chance. She is 29years old, goddamit. How can an adult act like this if she were just depressed? Depression is not reason enough. Must she have been disloyal right from the beginning? IDK so many questions since last month.

While all this was happening, the new guy came downstairs and was confused about which way we went. He was just waiting downstairs and calling her phone. (My friend who came to pick me up was just outside the society waiting for me, observing everything). Is he really that stupid to promise a girl marriage 2-10days after knowing her, or is he taking advantage of a vulnerable girl? If he had any right intentions and wants to consider spending his life with someone he just met, wont he have questions when other men come knocking at his new girl's door? And guess what, he is the same age as I am and from the same hometown as mine. I did not get to meet him, though.

I've read that women treat possible romantic relations differently than men do, as they are always presented with options during this Hinge and Bumble era. Bengaluru has always recorded the highest online dating activity. The options presented keep tempting people into disloyalty in relationships and infidelity in marriages, as people do not want to put effort into what they already have. I am not trying to generalise Bengaluru, and I hope you guys understand what I mean. If you have a long distance relationship with someone in BLR, think again.