r/DatingHell

Hi, 59F here!I joined an American-based dating/chat site a few months ago and became emotionally involved with a man who claimed to live in the US. After we exchanged names, I later discovered the surname he gave me was false.

He sent many videos and voice notes, and the voice seems consistent, but he avoids saying my name out loud. Over time, I discovered he appears on multiple related dating sites under different surnames and personas, although he insisted he was only speaking to me.

I also found inconsistencies involving his work, location, and family stories. People he claimed were certain relatives now appear to possibly be entirely different relations. I found social media profiles and family photos that don’t line up with the life he described to me at all.

Whenever I questioned anything, I was made to feel guilty for “not trusting him.” There is also sometimes a passive-aggressive undertone during disagreements.

At this point I genuinely don’t know whether this is a real man living a heavily fabricated online life, a stolen identity situation, or something in between.

Would you confront him, walk away quietly, or try to find out the truth first?

I recently dated a man. We went on two dates he tried to take me home for the first time ever. I warned him that he was about to miss a turn and he said "I think i know how to get there", we got lost. On the way to MY house that I travel to everyday! That's why I ended things and he acted like I had just ripped his heart out. It felt like a conversation between a couple who has been dating for over a year! And we only went on two dates. I barely knew this guy!!

He complained, told me to give him a shot that I was overthinking. He then acted like I was going to steal his story idea. He gave me a card with my name on it which was sweet but then demanded I just throw it away. He blew my phone up for two whole days. He was very condescending always negated what I had to say. I was wrong all the time about a specific thing but then he'd say the same exact shit I did.

There's always a reason why the woman ghosted you and im going to prove my point by asking the woman of this sub to share their experiences and why they stopped dating someone. Take it away ladies!

Said meet me(22m) at korean bbq and I stood her up twice lol. Sorry but as soon as I see them hmu on dating apps I automatically assume she is looking for a sponsor so I troll them sweet promises of being a step dad. But like what’s in it for me? I help you raise your kid, spend extra money, I have to meat your ex and raise his DNA as my own, in my opinion you seriously have to be a pathetic piece of shit to agree to something like that. I want a relationship of spontaneity, fun, romance, not fucking babysitting some worthless spergs that aren’t mine and paying for their upkeep. What sucks is that feels like its all there is on these sites, just stepdad applications, I don’t care if I end up alone I will never accept another mans leftovers, again you have to be a pathetic dog eating a rotting carcass, I would rather die alone in prison confinement than be with a single mom. Lol sorry not sorry needless to say did a little trolling felt good now where are the supermodel girls who like the beach and weed?

i (23f) reconnected w an old hookup (24m) on a dating app after 2 whole years on recently, over a month ago. he came in hot and heavy complimenting me, long paragraphs, telling me how he doesnt want to ruin anything this time, asked me out on a date once my schedule clears up (and honestly even though it felt too soon, i trusted the connection since ive known him back in uni), everything went great for a week and soon i tell him i cant be prompt over text bec of my schedule, and he says thats okay baby i understand. 

2 days later i send texts since i got free that night asking if i could call him to chat and i get no response for hours so i send another text asking if he was busy and no response, and lastly i ask him to lmk straight up if he thinks this might not work out to which he doesnt respond until 3 days after saying he got caught up w work and says nothing as such, just busy and i say thats alr (and ik he was active the whole time and i was soooo confused). 

10 days later he texts me saying he wants to meet up, and i got so excited bec i thought his silence meant this was subtly over. we meet the next day. i think it went great bec we spent all that time together but i think i was rushy bec i had to be home soon and couldnt fully enjoy myself given my schedule (im a student and have exams coming up), by the end i got vvvvvv tipsy, he dropped me off, texts me remember to drink water baby girl and all that all cool we even hug and part ways. 

next morning i pay him back for his cab ride bec i felt bad he had to travel all the way just to drop me off and ask him to lmk when he wants to talk since i felt like we had to address how things were great conversation wise but not so much physically. 

i sent a long ass text saying - idt its that big a deal that we couldnt do it well (and no ego was bruised lol bec if anything we addressed it right before we were leaving and he seemed to not be bothered at all and also add on, the whole cab ride back to mine i was on his shoulders asleep and i just felt so safe w him.) im also so glad that we reconnected and how no matter where this ends up im j rly happy we met and also how im so grateful he dropped me off. -  and literally nothing from him. i sent that text the v next day.

and then i checked in again a week later w an old picture of us and then even when then he doesnt respond i send a text saying i understand if hes taking his time to think ab us which is fine and something i appreciate but pls lmk if the silence is for that as im assuming and not bec i did or said something to deter him and NOTHING FROM HIM literally nothing. 

And finally i sent a text saying how if we cant even communicate this is pretty much over bec i fail to understand how or what could be so bad that he wouldnt even speak to me and its pretty much over for me. and boom blocked. turns out he blocked me. idk when the block happened but i looked at his profile recently and im blocked. 

and let me make it v clear, the entire reason i texted him multiple times was bec i thought it went great and i could tell he had a good time as well but to get vulnerable like that only to be met w silence and now blocked is messing w my head. i simply cant fathom how or what went wrong.

Ok so I’m gonna make this short. I’m really angry and don’t know how else to deal with this and I don’t wanna do something I’ll regret. So basically this old coworker I used to have a thing for but never really knew wether he felt the same recently hit me up on Instagram yk the usual spamming me with likes on my posts and stories and following me (only to unfollow me) perhaps just to get my attention and get me to text first which I did. But I acted like I didn’t know him so I wouldn’t seem desperate lol. Think it worked. Anyways he admitted to liking me all along which came as a surprise for me bc I thought he hated me bc of the way he acted so rudely to me at work. so we chatted briefly until I brought up the fact that he admitted to seeing someone else even tho I didn’t say whether it was a girl or boy even tho I knew it was a girl I just didn’t know wether they were currently broken up or on a break and that I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore bc he wanted to meet up in person. Anyways he blocked me then came back just to tell me he wasn’t actually gay he was just being sarcastic then blocked me again and came back still trying to meet to “hang out” whatever that means lol ik what that means 💀and it’s gross. so continued this unblock and blocking cycle and long story short when I finally agreed to meet up he blocked me right before we were about to. Wtf does this mean. Bc he was being super flirty and apologetic for how he treated me at work before bc he was honestly such an ass to me I had to report him to HR it was this whole thing. Anyways I still like him unfortunately He seemed super excited to meet me and said how much he missed me. Is he just playing games? I really wanna just go to his house to get answers not confront just to talk like adults. Maybe yeah after he falls for my trap I’ll confront him and give him a piece of my mind if yk what I mean 😭 or maybe I’ll change my mind and just have a nice civilized talk. Who knows. Hes lowkey a twink and Ik he’s not the violent type so he won’t hit back. I saw that he’s back with her via his stories and that just made my blood boil not bc I like him but bc he’s such a piece of shit. He can’t keep getting away with hurting me and others and thinking he won’t receive any consequences to his actions. I tried telling her twice but she hasn’t responded not sure if she saw it but it’s not fair. He owes me a real apology face to face after everything’s he’s done to me. And a sincere one. He owes me that much at the very least. I don’t care for anything else honestly. Idc whether he chooses her over me. I don’t wanna be with a cheater I’ll bury my feelings I just want revenge.

Could you please tell me what dating methods you use, how you swipe through profiles manually, what you look for, and whether there’s any point in me automating this process? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

I (F21) hate the dating scene it’s awful and it’s to a point where I’m questioning if I’m the issue??? I deleted the app after meeting up with a man (23) and walking around a park a nice hangout while we stargazed. All of the sudden he just reaches at my chest and squeezes my breasts with both hands and tells me to take of my hoodie. I panicked and laugh it off and tell him like “ nooo it’s cold” and how I don’t like PDA ( I didn’t consent to this) I ended up kinda drawing attention from my chest and I quickly text my friend to call me with an excuse to leave. While we’re talking he mentions how I make him want to be a better person and that he might have to get me pregnant to lock me down. He also brought up his discords and made bad attempts at edgy jokes. I blocked him but god that was awful. He seemed normal in our convos. Does it get better????

I would like to confess that I am a desperate idiot. I spent the last week chatting with a guy that I matched with on a dating app. I really clicked with him, I really did. We had multiple long calls in which we flirted, we made each other laugh & we talked about our interests.

We lived about 3 hours away from each other on the train. My first moment of idiocy was when broaching the topic of meeting up, he said he said had no money & also 'couldn't be arsed' to travel to see me. Rather than realise that is a sign that he isn't that into me, I instead immediately offered to come to him. I thought he was different, that we really got on & I saw the best in him.

My second moment of idiocy was when I didn't stop & pause when in one of our phone calls, he let me know that he had issues with being 'attached' & because he 'really liked me', he thought he would run the risk of becoming attached - plus that he didn't want to do long distance. He was coked up on this call hence why I thought I could take what he had to say with a pinch of salt.

My final moment of idiocy? I actually went ahead & booked train tickets & a hotel for two nights to go & see this guy. This cost me £100s. He said he'd pay me half for the hotel though which I thought was so kind considering his circumstances. I'm so pathetic.

When I went to visit him, things initially were really good. We went to the hotel together, we laughed, we chilled, we were intimate, we went to sleep.

I had a nervous feeling though, which was sadly the only fear I trusted throughout this whole story. I woke up the next morning to him sitting on the side of the bed. 'Good morning' I said. 'I'm leaving' he replied.

I was confused. I asked him why? What happened? He then said he was having a 'mild panic attack'. I was shocked & concerned. Did I do something? Could I help him? Am I that distressing to be around?

He said that the night before I was 'a bit much' & I had annoyed him by laughing during the film that we were watching. He was trying to fall asleep to a film. He then said there was no romance between us.

I apologised for annoying him & being too much. I shouldn't have apologised, but I did. I didn't want to cry in front of him so I rolled over to face away from him as he stood over me. He then said goodbye & left.

Just like that, my delusion was shattered. My brain started screaming how much of a desperate idiot I am. I sobbed. I left the hotel a night early to go home - ruminating on what happened for the whole three hour journey.

I'm fun, I'm caring, I would genuinely say that I am not problematic, I have so much love to give. But as it stands, no one wants it. I have met so many new guys this year. This was the first time in my 27 years on earth that I'd travelled to meet someone.

At this rate, pigs will fly before I meet anyone who eventually wants to be with me.

Now I just need to start accepting my solo fate. It's the only way I can stay sane.

Sad, but a lesson learnt.

I (38)F met a guy (39)M on a dating app. I had mentioned on my profile clearly that I was looking for something long-term. On the other hand. His profile mentioned long-term as well, but was open for short-term on the first date. We hit it off really well. We spent about 2 to 3 hours with endless banters, although he was clear that with me, he wanted something short, and I was okay with it. He would keep calling me endlessly, not just calls but video calls. The proximity was a very big advantage. He lived within the radius of 1.5 km. In fact, I was shifting in the building next to his in one years time. So after the first date he wanted to meet the next day as well, and we kept meeting for an entire week day after day. But, on each call he would talk kinky and tried to know less of or about me. I was wanting things to escalate physically, but that never happened. He would rile me up and never escalated beyond a kiss. The kiss also happened when he confessed that he was divorced twice and that didn’t matter to me as i was having a good time. He confessed he wanted me to know that detail before things escalated. He would make these future plans about vacations etc. He made me meet his entire extended family as well (he didn’t tell me he was doing that) . But, i would even see him getting calls from multiple women when we’d meet plus he mentioned he was in touch with his exes. Since he was not escalating things physically and kept wanting validation from me, i got pissed off and stopped entertaining him. He and his brother invited me for his brother’s wedding but he never followed up with an actual invite and didn’t hear back from him. So i didn’t try as well, the moment he realised his contact was deleted, he tried getting back in touch with calls and messages. I want to understand what does he want? I was okay to keep things physical, gave him multiple signals, he was super attracted to me as well.
He was getting what he wanted (as per our first date what he described). What the hell does he actually want ? Should I actually even answer his call now?
Really need help.

30F , I’ve noticed this pattern a lot. In the beginning, there’s effort, attention, consistency — texts, calls, plans, excitement. But once things become “secure,” that energy sometimes fades. Not always, but often enough to make you question it.

Is it human nature to value what feels uncertain more? Do people stop trying once they feel like the other person isn’t going anywhere? Or is it less about losing interest and more about people getting comfortable and showing their real selves over time?

Maybe in some cases, it’s not that they lost interest — it’s that the effort in the beginning wasn’t sustainable to begin with.

Curious what others think.

Have you experienced this? Did the effort change once things became stable?

TL;DR: Some people seem to lose effort once they feel secure in a relationship — is it loss of interest, or just comfort kicking in?

AND WHAT WAS THE SOLUTION

Nothing MEAN, please, just funny.

Mine were

1. I used to LOOSE the LIDS to anything I opened

Solution= I STARTED A LID DRAWER

2. I WOULD USE TOO MUCH LAUNDRY SOAP.

Solution= HE GAVE UP ON YELLING AT ME FOR IT.

Luv ya honey. lol

Hey, I'm new here.

So, I'm autistic and also ADHD. They can be tough when they present together in one person and I've always struggled socially. Lately, I'd been feeling very lonely. On a whim yesterday, I made a tinder account for the first time. I don't have a lot of experience with casual stuff, but I was curious about trying. And some people \*do\* meet actual partners there sometimes, so what the hell...figured I'd "advertise" that I'm available and looking.

I was a bit overwhelmed with the amount of guys that swiped right on me, but I decided to try and be brave and swiped right on a few of them too. I told myself that it was okay if we didn't seem totally compatible, that I was just dipping my toes in the water, and if things didn't get past surface level with someone, that was okay.

So this guy starts talking to me, says he really likes my profile. I feel flatered and respond to him. He asks me what I'm doing today and I was genuinely free, so figured meeting for a coffee or a drink or a walk could be good. He mentioned taking me to his place after. I wasn't opposed to that, I was open to it getting casually intimate.

We set up an hour to meet up at a public garden and I shower, shave, wash my hair, put on a nice outfit.

He picks me up. I was nervous at first and he seemed a bit put off by that, but I reasured him. He says he's sorry, but he needs to swing home because of a work thing he's got to do in his computer real quick, but we can go somewhere around there. I say okay. We drive, listen to music and I loosen up and relax a little.

We take a short walk in a park by his place, hold hands a bit. He asks what I'm looking for. I get maybe a bit too honest and let slip "Love, I guess". Because long term, I would like that. Seems like it wasn't the right thing to say, he seemed a bit dismissive and put off by that.

He seemed a bit put off too about me opening up and saying my previous relationship messed me up a bit and it took me a while to look again. He didn't want a traumatised girl. That was fine, I didn't mind it not getting serious, but I decided not to disclose my disability to him.

We sat on a bench and we kissed. I haven't kissed a lot of men. It was okay. I was comfortable with more happening.

We go to his place. I made the mistake of telling him I like it rough. I should've clarified I like it rough but prefer starting slow first. Things moved a little faster than I would've prefered, but I was fine. I did like it when he went inside me from behind, even if the angle was a little weird (he sat up on the bed and had me sort of half-sitting on him - dude, why??).

I'd told him I was on my period. He was okay with that at first but got weird about it when he saw blood on his...you know. He started getting \*really\* insistant we do anal instead. Like, kind of weirdly insistant. He put it in there and didn't stop, even when I said I didn't want it there, and kept going even when I said "please" and "it hurts". I'm not opposed to anal, I like it, but I usually have to be in the mood for it. He keeps going and eventually I relax and even like it a little. But the female anatomy doesn't have as many nerve endings there, so it was just sort of fine.

After, we're in his bed and he immediatly turns around and goes on facebook on his phone. After a little while I ask him if he can please look at me. He says "yes" but doesn't move until I get up from the bed, then he asks "where are you going?" and asks me back in. He turns around eventually, lets me cuddle a little and sort of starts falling asleep a little. I know that can happen after and try to give him some time. He gives some signs of life and I ask him if we can talk. I says he's starting to feel a little sick and can I please stay still and give him twenty minutes.

I do. Its a little boring, with the whole ADHD thing and my phone still being on my jacket pocked in another room, but I do. He perks up a bit again eventually and goes on facebook again. I'm looking from him to his phone and back to him, trying to give him a hint to look at me. He sorts of caresses me half-heartedly every once in a while, but keeps looking at his phone. And here I thought I was going to be the one struggling with eye contact as the autistic in the room. I finally crack and ask him (gently) if he can put his phone down for just five minutes.

He says yes, but "hold on", and only then opens the app he apparently actually wanted and starts ordering medicine for himself, since he apparently really is starting to feel under the weather. Meanwhile he calls someone and he lets out to them he was already feeling sick before he picked me up (why did you do it then, dude??). Then he starts ordering groceries and I decide enough is enough and start getting dressed, figuring "I'll let you rest" is as good an excuse as any to bail.

He did acknowledge my existance when I came to say goodbye after getting my jacket and bag. I pulled me in for one last kiss and at least I got a tiny bit of validation that yes, he did think I did alright and he did think I was pretty. Then I left. The whole thing, from him meeting up with me was over in a little over two hours, and 45 minutes to an hour of that was him being on his phone.

I don't want to see him again. Oh, well, I guess it was always going to be unrealistic to expect hugs and forehead kisses. I'm trying not to feel too ashamed that my "body count" has officially gone up to three in the name of such a shitty hook-up. But, oh well, that's life I suppose.

I know this sounds like a brag post but hear me out. So I’ve had this experience a few times. Most dating apps don’t allow me to post my lower body (yes normal clothed pics) because of my bulge. And when it doesn’t come up while chatting I’m not going to tell them: oh hey before I forget, I have a pretty big bulge and there’s really nothing I can do about it😅
So then I meet them in person and about 5 times now (even before we say hello) they just said something like oh hell no, or that ain’t working or whatever and that was the date. I suppose people will say to cover it up more or whatever but that doesn’t change anything cause eventually she’ll find besides I don’t intend to wear ridiculous looking clothes on a first date. I guess this turns out to be just a rant cause there’s not much to do about it I think. Or should I be honest and tell them before the first date?

Disclaimer: I am a trans guy. I am male-presenting but I have a vagina. I am also gay, meaning I like men. Just being upfront so anybody not interested can leave now.

So, I very recently got broken up with and was feeling pretty low about myself so decided to go on Grindr and find some guy for something short term for one night to take my mind off things. Very stupid and dangerous I know, not a good plan to start with.

I was talking to this guy, he’s like 34 (I’m 21) and he’s pretty hot and like funny and flirty and not too forward. After an hour or so of texting I tell him frankly how I’m really looking for a hookup, and he seems like a decent trustworthy enough guy, and if he’s down then I’m down to meet that same night. He’s shocked but he agrees.

We meet outside this little deli on the corner by my building then go up to my apartment at like 9pm. He’s not as hot as his pics but he’s still not bad, and he’s kinda nervous but I tell myself it’s just cos he’s excited. Anyway we get in my room and start making out and he’s like almost shaking. I check whether he’s ok and he says he just can’t wait.

I won’t get into any graphic details, but the sex was meh. He wouldn’t take the lead, I felt like I had to do everything, which wasn’t ideal as I’m usually more of a sub. He also finished quicker than I would’ve liked.

Here’s where things get more awkward though… as he was getting close to finishing he was like moaning stuff like “baby, yes baby daddy has waited for this, daddy loves you”. A bit much for me, I wasn’t into it tbh and it came out of nowhere (no pun intended) so I kinda ignored it and carried on in the moment. Then literally as he was cumming he calls out a girl’s name!! I was not happy.

I pretty much flipped out on him immediately. I was upfront with him about being a trans man, I did not bring him here to misgender me or to use me to fantasise about some woman. I sent him away and blocked him immediately.

Then a little while afterwards I was bored and decided to see if I could find him on Facebook to find out who this girl was he was thinking about. (It’s a small-ish town and he told me where he works so this was easier than it sounds lol). I found him, and looked through his contacts, and a few of his photos… IT WAS HIS DAUGHTER’S NAME!!! SHE IS FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!!!

So yea I felt super disgusting after that. I blocked him on Facebook too to be safe, but yea, Jesus Christ. Still can’t believe it tbh. I hope the daughter is safe. I won’t be hooking up with older strangers again anytime soon.

TLDR: I hooked up with a guy, he misgendered me calling me a girl’s name. Turns out it was his teenage daughter’s name.

I (35M) posted looking for a genuine connection a while ago. Not just hookups — someone to talk to deeply, flirt with, build something exciting.

Then she messaged me. 34F from [Her Country]. She said my post genuinely affected her, that she loved the way I wrote and that she felt a real spark. We started talking.

For three full weeks we talked every single day. Morning messages, goodnight texts, deep conversations, silly jokes, and yes… it slowly became very spicy. We exchanged lots of photos. She kept telling me how attracted she was to me, how much she loved my energy, my voice (we did video calls too). She said she hadn’t felt this excited in a long time.

Then she told me she wanted to meet. She even asked me to book a hotel and said she had bought a bunny girl costume just for our night together. I smiled like an idiot and booked my flight — 3 hours across Europe.

I landed. We met at the airport. She looked beautiful. For about ten minutes everything felt perfect… until she suddenly got quiet.

She told me she was married. That the moment she saw me in real life, something inside her switched off. She said she didn’t have the motivation to take even one more step forward. She asked if she could walk alone for a bit to think. I stood there like a fool watching her walk away.

A short while later I received a message: “This isn’t working for me, I don’t feel good about this. I’m sorry. Good luck.”

And she disappeared.

I’m not even angry. I’m just… disappointed and genuinely hurt. I feel stupid for believing it. For flying to another country with excitement like a teenager. For thinking this time it was different.

Ladies, I have a real question: Why do this?

You talked to a man every day for three weeks, flirted heavily, made him believe the connection was mutual, let him book flights and a hotel, told him you bought lingerie for him… and then changed your mind the second you saw him in person?

I know life is complicated. I know cold feet happen. But this one stings.

I just wanted to feel wanted. Instead I feel disposable.

If you’ve ever done something similar — or if you’re a woman who can explain this mindset — I’d really like to understand. No hate, just trying to heal my trust issues.

Thanks for reading.

Ich bin seit einiger Zeit auf Dating-Apps aktiv und hatte dort auch einige Matches. Mittlerweile habe ich bestimmt weit über 10 Frauen getroffen, wobei es so gut wie immer nur bei einem Date geblieben ist.

Ich habe auch vor einiger Zeit schon mal einen Post dazu verfasst:
https://www.reddit.com/r/DatingDE/s/icEYbxf0us

Nun Brauch dringend eure Hilfe/Erfahrung, da die meisten in meinem Freundeskreis keine Dating Apps nutzen.

Über die Zeit habe ich gemerkt, dass „Parallel-Dating“ dabei relativ normal ist bzw. es irgendwie auch anders gar nicht geht. Ich like in letzter Zeit ungefähr 40 % der Profile, und dadurch kommen pro Woche etwa 4 bis 9 Matches zustande. Davon werden einige aussortiert, weil ich zum Beispiel geghostet werde, weil ich sie beim Schreiben seltsam finde oder weil ich durch ihr Instagram noch einen anderen Eindruck von ihnen bekomme, der mich nicht anspricht. Dann bleiben ein paar übrig, die ich meistens relativ direkt nach einem Date frage.

Nun bin ich aktuell in einer Situation, in der ich mich überhaupt nicht wohlfühle.

Ich date und schreibe momentan mit 4 Frauen, die mir wirklich sehr gefallen.

Mit einer hatte ich bisher vier Treffen. Das Ganze ist allerdings etwas kompliziert, weil es bereits einen Kontaktabbruch gab, der 2 Monate ging und von ihr ausging, aufgrund privater Probleme. Kürzlich hat sie den Kontakt wieder aufgenommen. Irgendwie glaube ich nicht, dass sie die Richtige ist, aber ich muss dennoch oft an sie denken und mag sie. Sie schreibt mir bereits Dinge wie, dass sie sich wünscht, dass ich zu ihr komme, weil sie mit mir kuscheln möchte usw. Wir haben uns bisher aber noch nicht geküsst oder so.

Ich bin damit relativ überfordert, weil ich parallel noch mit anderen Kontakt habe. Deshalb habe ich ihr geschrieben, dass ich das Ganze aktuell für ein paar Wochen pausieren möchte, da ich mit dem Dating-Thema zurzeit überfordert bin und sie auch selbst einige Baustellen in ihrem Leben hat, wodurch unser Dating sehr beeinträchtigt wurde. Wir haben aber über Snapchat, Instagram und TikTok weiterhin etwas Kontakt, und ich merke anhand dessen, was sie mir schickt, dass sie noch sehr interessiert an mir ist.

Dann ist da eine andere, mit der ich ein paar Tage geschrieben habe bzw. noch schreibe und die ich einmal getroffen habe. Sie hat mir relativ früh auch Snaps in Unterwäsche geschickt und mir nach dem Treffen geschrieben, dass sie sich gewünscht hätte, dass ich noch mit zu ihr hochgekommen wäre. Sie schreibt mir, dass sie seitdem wir schreiben ihr Hinge-Profil gelöscht hat und dass sie Schmetterlinge im Bauch hat und oft vor ihren Freunden von mir schwärmt.

Sie schreibt mir auch oft, dass sie horny ist und ob ich nicht vorbeikommen möchte. Selbstverständlich habe ich Lust. Das Ganze hat mir aber so ein schlechtes Gewissen gegeben, dass ich ihr nach dem Treffen mitgeteilt habe, dass ich sie auch mag und sie gerne weiter treffen möchte, mich aber nicht wohl damit fühle, das Ganze so zu überstürzen, da ich noch mit anderen schreibe und diese auch noch treffen möchte. Es würde sich daher nicht richtig anfühlen, sie jetzt zu küssen, geschweige denn Sex zu haben. Zumal das mein erstes Mal wäre und ich sie auch erst einmal besser kennenlernen möchte, da wir uns ja kaum kennen.

Sie findet es komisch, dass ich noch Kontakt mit anderen Frauen habe, versteht aber meine Situation und hofft einfach, dass wir uns wiedersehen. Wenn ich mal länger als eine Stunde nicht schreibe, fragt sie gleich, ob alles in Ordnung ist.

Dann sind da noch zwei Frauen, mit denen ich momentan schreibe. Ich habe bei beiden wirklich ein sehr gutes Gefühl, da wir viele Gemeinsamkeiten haben, und ich würde sie echt gerne persönlich kennenlernen. Wir haben auch bereits Dates vereinbart.

Ich will niemanden verletzen und jede mit Respekt behandeln. Ich finde Parallel-Dating bei den ersten 1 bis 2 Dates noch in Ordnung, da es ja nur ein Kennenlernen ist. Küssen oder sogar Sex wäre für mich beim Parallel-Dating aber ein No-Go. Spätestens da sollte man „exklusiv“ sein.

Was soll ich machen? Ich kenne sie ja alle kaum. Wie soll ich mich denn entscheiden? Ich will auch nicht „nix Halbes, nix Ganzes“ machen und am Ende alle „vergraulen“.

EDIT: seitdem ich diesen Post verfasst habe, sind zwei neue echt gute Matches entstanden…

So went on a date with a guy and we were together the whole day and he stayed over the night no sex just cuddling. He told my friend after they hung out when asked what thought about me and he said “yea she’s cool, we have a lot of things in common, and we work in the same field so she understands my line of work” is this more friendzone or more? He asked for a second date then say of said if we can switch it to a different day due to some issues going on with him and now he’s disappeared. However saw him this past Sunday as we were with mutual friends and there was tension but he was still joking with me and playful banter and was next to me the whole time? Dating sucks nowadays when you just want clear communication or am I trippin out