u/Burn0707

I made a post in IncelExit because I’ve spent a long time exposed to blackpill ideas and wanted people who strongly disagreed with them to actually challenge the reasoning behind them.

The thread ended up getting 100+ comments.

And after reading basically all of it, I came away feeling like I learned surprisingly little.
To be fair, there were a few genuinely good replies. Some people questioned whether I was extending limited findings about average sex differences into conclusions that the research itself doesn’t justify. Others brought up confounding variables, methodology, cultural explanations, etc. Those were useful, even when I disagreed with them.

But that was a minority of the discussion.
A huge amount of it quickly stopped being about whether anything I said was actually true and became about what kind of person I supposedly am.
I was called cruel, arrogant, self-important, resentful, closed-minded, combative, unwilling to listen, and so on. People told me to go to therapy, stop consuming certain content, go outside, meet people, etc.

One person wrote an entire psychological explanation for why I supposedly “need” these beliefs to be true, compared blackpill spaces to pro-anorexia communities, told me to postpone surgery and spend the money on therapy instead.
When I pointed out that they were psychoanalyzing me instead of addressing the argument, they admitted they hadn’t even read most of the thread because they didn’t want to spend the time doing so.

Another person repeatedly said I was “combative” and unwilling to listen. When I asked people to actually show where I had misrepresented evidence, the response again became “why are you even here?” and questions about my intentions instead of simply identifying the supposed error.
That pattern happened constantly.
If I challenged someone’s counterargument, I apparently wasn’t listening.
If I defended my interpretation of a study, I was cherry-picking.

If I asked someone to demonstrate where my inference was wrong, I was being combative.
If I disagreed with someone’s psychological interpretation of me, that disagreement itself became evidence that their interpretation was correct.

At some point that becomes almost impossible to argue with, because the only acceptable evidence that you’re “open-minded” seems to be immediately agreeing with whoever is responding to you.
And that was the weirdest part of the entire experience.

I wasn’t asking people to tell me that blackpill thinking is unhealthy. I already know it has had a negative effect on me. That’s literally why I went to an exit community.
I wanted people to say:
“You’re interpreting this study incorrectly because X.”
“This conclusion doesn’t follow from your premise because Y.”
“This dataset contradicts what you’re saying.”
“You’re taking an average population-level effect and incorrectly applying it to individuals.”
That is something I can actually examine.
Instead, so much of the discussion became moral judgment and amateur psychology.
There were even situations where people argued against positions I hadn’t taken. I would explicitly qualify a claim, and a few replies later someone would respond to the exaggerated version anyway.
The funniest contrast was that one of the same people who had been calling me combative eventually started asking practical questions about the population of my town, transportation, nearby cities, events, etc.
And I actually appreciated that.
Because those are concrete variables. You can discuss them. You can change your conclusion based on the answer. That is infinitely more useful than deciding what my personality must be because I disagreed with you on Reddit.
Eventually IncelExit removed the original post entirely.

So the whole experiment ended with 100+ comments, a handful of genuinely interesting counterarguments, a mountain of repeated therapy/lifestyle advice, endless character analysis, people arguing with positions I never held, and then the thread itself disappearing.
I’m not claiming I won every argument. I’m sure some of my reasoning can be wrong, and there were a few replies that genuinely made me reconsider parts of it.

That was the entire reason I posted.
But I expected a community dedicated to helping people exit an ideology to be much better at dismantling the ideology itself.

Instead, I mostly learned how quickly people stop discussing an argument once they strongly dislike the worldview associated with it.

It felt like the stronger and more specific the discussion became, the more often people retreated from the actual claim and started talking about my character instead.

Maybe that’s just Reddit.

But it was genuinely disappointing.

In 2022 when I was in 9th grade I was pretty ugly and going through puberty (I was 14, almost 15). Right when I started high school at 15 in late 2023 I started consuming a lot of blackpill content. I found multiple BP forums and started worrying about my looks. At first it wasn’t even that bad — mostly fragrance stuff and “softmaxxing,” which wasn’t extreme. It was all over TikTok too with that one song Ecstasy that really brings me back to it.

Anyway, from freshman year all the way to senior year now, every week and every day I’ve been consuming more and more blackpill content, ideology, and the subsections under it like looksmaxxing. Of course it made me insecure and made my anxiety a bit worse, but it also kind of raised my ego. I started hating on everyone in general. In primary school I went through bullying, trauma, and people turning on me (even friends), so I felt good being part of that community.

I know the forums have multiple people who even offed themselves because of it. Then in 2025 (last year) Clavicular made BP go mainstream, and suddenly every single person — even girls (the forums were meant for guys only at the start) — started knowing about it, but in a funny way and not taking it seriously. Now every young kid and every guy knows about it, and some worse people who aren’t just incels but genuine psychopaths are telling others to kill themselves and stuff like that on the forums. It’s gone crazy.

I’ve consumed so much of everything over these 2–3 years (before and after Clavicular) that my brain can’t comprehend running away from it. I’m getting a nose surgery now that I turned 18, a sliding jaw surgery, I tried multiple creams and convinced my dermatologist for tretinoin and isotretinoin for my acne, and I also started pinning stuff.

The biggest thing I hate is this hate toward women. They spread hypergamy, they’re all evil — every single one I’ve met IRL and online. But when I’m with a girl and talk to one I’m always the kindest. It’s not that I fake it, I just hide my true self.

Anyone know how I can escape this? I go outside, I go to the gym, I eat well, I sleep, I even have a summer job right now, but I can’t escape BP. It’s over. Even if I try, it always comes back, whether it’s a small thing or a big thing. I think deep down I’ll forever have this hate toward women till the end. In some way we’re all truly evil, but women are more hypergamous than men — the statistics are true.

I really don’t know what to even say. I’ve never had a girlfriend either. I failed my talking stages and rejected a couple of uglier girls. Maybe if I ascend and make my looks better I’ll escape it one day and get a loving girlfriend and forget about this. It has malnourished my brain, changed it, and developed it in some other way. I’m not joking when I say this — it’s dangerous, and people don’t know how much it is until they fall into its rabbit hole one day.

(Edit: noticing the downvotes on my own replies. Most people here don’t seem interested in debating or understanding the loop I’m describing — they just want the standard “stop consuming / therapy / take responsibility” script and will downvote ANYTHING that doesn’t instantly agree. Looking for mindful discussion, not mindless pile-ons.)

So here we are. I’m turning 18 in less than a month, and looking back, it feels like almost every stage of my life has taken something out of me.

My first 10 years were mostly normal childhood. My parents divorced when I was 6, I had some health problems, and I often felt left out at school, but things became much worse around sixth grade when I was 11. I hadn’t really hit puberty yet, I was insecure about how I looked, and bullying started becoming a serious part of my life.

My best friend at the time was popular, switched up on me, and eventually helped turn people I considered friends against me. The next four years were probably the worst period of my life. I was diagnosed with depression at 13 and finally finished primary school at 15.

I thought high school would be my reset. New people, a glow-up, a chance to become someone different. The problem was that my school was in a nearby town, so plenty of people already knew me or had heard old rumors about me.

Freshman year was still better than primary school, but not what I imagined. I made some new “friends,” although over time I realized most of them weren’t very real friendships.

That year I also tried dating for the first time. When I was 14, a girl at a camp had once been too nervous to ask me for my Snapchat herself, so she had her friend give me a piece of paper with it. I actually thought she was beautiful, but I convinced myself relationships “weren’t for me” and threw it away when I got home. I still remember doing that.

So in freshman year, I decided I wouldn’t make the same mistake. I asked a girl from my school out. She said yes, and in January 2024 we met in her town. I was excited, dressed well, put on cologne and thought maybe something was finally changing.

It went terribly. I was extremely nervous, barely knew what to say, we spent most of the time freezing outside because I didn’t even think to take her somewhere, and I was too anxious to even hug her goodbye. She ghosted me afterward, which destroyed even more of the confidence I had left.

During my second year, most of my social life was online. I had already spent years online because of the bullying. Out of probably hundreds of people I’ve met online, only around three became genuine long-term friends. That taught me how temporary most online friendships really are.

Then came my third year of high school. I had improved a lot physically—I’m around 6 feet now, lean, take better care of myself—but I realized appearance wasn’t enough to erase years of insecurity. Some of my high-school friendships started feeling fake too, and once people noticed that I lacked confidence or struggled with anxiety, I felt like the same patterns from primary school were happening again.

Now it’s August 2026. Summer is almost over, senior year is about to start, and I’m trying to treat this as another reset.

This summer has mostly been about working on myself. My job forced me to talk to strangers and women more often, which has slowly improved my social skills even though I still struggle badly with anxiety. I built a home gym, improved my sleep and hygiene, worked on my skin and generally started taking better care of myself.

But there’s one thing I still haven’t escaped.

When I entered high school in 2023, I fell deep into looksmaxxing and eventually the “blackpill” side of the internet. Looksmaxxing itself helped me improve physically, but the mindset surrounding it damaged me mentally. By the time that content exploded online around 2024, I was already deep inside it.

I started analyzing every flaw in myself and everyone else. I became obsessed with appearance, attractiveness, dating psychology and why people treat each other the way they do. Years of being bullied—especially being insulted by girls over my appearance—also made me bitter, and I started generalizing that anger toward women.

I know that mindset is hurting me. That’s probably the worst part: being self-aware enough to understand what is happening while still feeling unable to completely escape it.

Therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, medication—whatever I try, those thoughts eventually come back. Looksmaxxing helped me physically, but mentally I sometimes feel trapped in a cage made from my own thoughts. So if anyone younger somehow reads this: be careful before falling into the same rabbit hole.

I read psychology, philosophy and old poetry because I’m constantly trying to understand people and, more importantly, understand myself. I want to know why I became this way and whether I can eventually undo it.

I’m still changing things about my appearance too. I’m planning nose surgery this year, skin treatments and potentially jaw surgery later. But I’m slowly realizing that no surgery can fix everything happening inside my head.

Sometimes I genuinely believe I’ll end up alone. Maybe after high school I’ll move away, make some money, meet completely new people and finally leave this version of my life behind. I’m from a small European country, and I’ve wanted to leave for a long time.

I’m lonely. I have a few friends, but very few people I completely trust. I’ve spent years chasing some version of myself that I thought would finally be good enough.

And yeah sometimes late at night I open an asmr girlfriend Youtube video and just watch it and put the phone by my side and genuinely cry my ass off. I do it because it brings me some feeling I’ve never felt before but it makes me feel something.

Senior year starts soon. I don’t know whether everything will suddenly become better, but for once I feel more prepared for whatever comes next.

Thanks for reading.

This started in late June last year. I found a girl on TikTok, thought she was attractive, messaged her, and she replied almost instantly.
For the next 3–4 weeks, we talked basically nonstop from morning to night. Messages, TikToks, snaps, voice messages, calls. We had the same interests, humour, hobbies, and even similar ideas about our future.

It became really personal too. She told me family problems she said she barely told anyone, constantly told me how much she liked and loved talking to me, talked about us being together in the future, and gave me every reason to believe I genuinely mattered to her.

That’s what makes this different from a basic “I ignored the red flags and got ghosted” story. There really weren’t obvious red flags.
She seemed genuinely kind, sensitive, had a small circle, stayed home most of the time, cared about her younger siblings, and acted like the kind of person who would communicate instead of intentionally hurting someone.
I literally remember thinking, “Maybe one day she’ll randomly remove me, but I genuinely can’t imagine her doing that.”

Then near the end of July, she suddenly changed.
One day she barely replied and said her main phone was dead. Fair enough, except I could see her constantly active on her second TikTok account. The next day I asked about it and she basically said, “Yeah, idk why I didn’t message you.”
Then she left me on delivered all day again.
After nearly a month of talking nonstop, this obviously wasn’t normal.
I calmly asked if something happened in her personal life, if I did something wrong, if she needed space, anything. I told her she could just be honest with me.

Her answer was always basically, “Nothing is wrong. Stop asking.”
Then she’d ignore me again.
That is what fucked with my head the most.
Four days earlier, you’re telling me how much you love me, talking about our future and speaking to me all day. Now I’m practically begging for a basic explanation and you’re annoyed that I even noticed the change.
Her words said nothing changed. Her behaviour said everything changed.
That creates insane cognitive dissonance. You start analysing every conversation, wondering if you did something wrong, if something happened to her, if there’s another guy, or if you’re somehow imagining all of it.

Eventually I gave up trying to extract honesty from her and told her the friendship obviously couldn’t continue like this.
Her response was basically, “Yeah, fair enough.”
What the fuck?
Days earlier you supposedly loved me. Now you don’t care if I disappear permanently?
Call it love-bombing, manipulation, attention-seeking or emotional immaturity. I’m not diagnosing her, but the pattern was real: intense affection and constant attention, followed by sudden withdrawal while denying that the withdrawal was even happening.

I later found out she had apparently done something similar to another guy too.
That’s when I started wondering if I had basically just been emotional entertainment for a month. Someone to talk to, vent to, receive validation from and feel appreciated by until she no longer needed it.

Meanwhile, her TikTok exploded. When we started talking she had around 400 followers. Now she has around 16k, millions of views and roughly 3 million likes.

And yes, that makes me bitter.
It genuinely makes you wonder why God seems to favour evil people sometimes. Someone hurts you, walks away without any visible consequences, continues posting like nothing happened, and then their dream starts coming true while you’re left dealing with the psychological aftermath.
It felt like I spent a month sitting in some fucking cuck chair, investing my time, emotions and energy into her while she walked away with everything she wanted.

And yes, it worsened my distrust toward women. Logically I know one girl doesn’t represent billions of women, but experiences like this make cynicism extremely easy.
Because the real lesson isn’t that bad people exist. Everyone knows that.
The terrifying lesson is that someone can have almost every characteristic that convinces you they’re not that kind of person and still do it to you.
They can listen to you, trust you with private things, remember details about you, talk to you every day, tell you they love you and seem genuinely empathetic.

None of that guarantees they won’t suddenly treat you like you never mattered.
Maybe they’re narcissistic. Maybe emotionally empty. Maybe addicted to validation. Maybe immature. Maybe just fake as fuck. I don’t know.
But I learned that you can know nearly everything about somebody’s life and still know almost nothing about their actual character.
Don’t assume vulnerability means sincerity. Don’t assume affection means attachment. Don’t assume someone being “nice” means they’re incapable of cruelty.

When somebody’s words consistently contradict their behaviour, stop destroying yourself trying to find the perfect explanation.
Sometimes the contradiction is the explanation.
And maybe one day this comes back around and hits her in a way she actually understands.
Nobody reading this will know who I am or who she is, but if she ever reads it, she’ll know exactly who wrote it.

Congratulations on convincing people that the persona you present is who you actually are. Congratulations on taking someone’s time, feelings, trust and empathy and treating them as disposable once you no longer wanted them.
Maybe fame, status and money will become big enough distractions that none of this matters to you. You’re lucky enough that success can make almost anyone look admirable from the outside.
But popularity doesn’t rewrite character, and thousands of people liking a carefully constructed version of you doesn’t erase how you treated people privately.

Maybe there is no immediate karma. Maybe people who hurt others really do get rewarded while the people they hurt carry the consequences.
But actions have a way of following people eventually.

And if you’re reading this, you know exactly who I am.

I'm working on a new Roblox game that I genuinely believe has a lot of potential. I'm still new to Roblox game development and learning as I go, but I'm serious about making this project succeed and I'm looking for people who want to help build it.

About me:

• I'm from Europe
• Time zone: GMT+2
• Active almost every day
• Serious about long-term development

Looking for:

• Scripter
• Builder
• UI Designer (optional)

Requirements:

• Age 18–20 preferred
• Roblox Studio experience
• Active on Discord
• Good communication
• Willing to work as a team

Payment:
Revenue share for now. If the game succeeds or we secure funding, there may be paid opportunities later.

If you're interested, send me:

• Age
• Role
• Experience
• Portfolio or previous work (if you have any)
• Discord username

I'm looking for people who want to build something with long-term potential, not just a quick project.