r/AutismTranslated

I am neurotypical and the person I'm seeing is neurodivergent. When he has a long day at work, he says he can't take in any new information when I tell him about the things I've learned that day, especially if they involve explaining complex social structures (I've been binging The Crown lately and wanted to explain the royal family to him). He'll often change the subject if I talk about these things. My mom (who I highly suspect is autistic) would do the same, leaving me to fend for myself. He is the sweetest otherwise. Is there anything I can do to make our connection/communication better so I can still talk about my interests or do I have to accept that we're not compatible in that area?

hola, ya desde hace casi un año me pasan cosas bastante raras, mensajes que creo escuchar en canciones y lo menciono asi por que aun que son en el mismo sentido y los entiendo, no quiero descartar el que sean alucinaciones, pero no solo en escucho mensajes en canciones, tambien en paredes, me han advertido de algunos hechos y algunos han pasado al principio pense que era simple coincidencias pero han sido muchas y mensajes que en verdad me quitan la paz, por ejemplo (me una de mis hijas morira ), bueno antes lo comentaba con los mas cercanos por que fue algo que llego y me sorprendio, pero despues de ver la reaccion de las personas ya no lo comento, en mi trabajo soy bastante equilibrado bueno en general desarrollo mi vida con total normalidad y estas "alucinaciones", me las quedo para mi...pues a quien se lo comente no hubo ni interes ni un poco de empatia, por lo que ya no lo comento, al principio comence a escribir incluso las cosas que creia escuchar en una libreta y casi la lleno, despues me dio pena que alguien la encontrara y viera las cosas que anote y lo deje de hacer, pero si necesito ayuda o que alguien pueda comentarme algo, si lo ha vivido si es algo patologico que hacer no se...ojala me comenten, Dios les bendiga muchas gracias.

I know I'm neurodivergent. All but the doc putting the 3 letters on my file. I see a therapist for ND therapies and really struggle with social interactions. I used to be high masking and suffer from fast burn out. To make a long story short, before knowing my possibility of being autistic, I had your typical shut downs, need for isolation and alexithymia - later on I come to find out, people I thought were my friends and including my ex have told me they "resent" me for my shut downs (I just stop talking, nothing explosive or anything) and my needs to stim and self soothe when overwhelmed.

So, basically I'm rejected from the social group and have separated from my ex because they resented my ND tendencies. They claimed I gave off a vibe that i didn't want to be around them, not caring or wanting to understand how the ND system works.
Just saddened how you can be resented for something you literally cant control.

My autistic girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship together for 9 months. She lives in the US and I live in Europe. We communicate exclusively via texting on WhatsApp. There's a 6hr difference between us.

Monday a week ago, we had a slight misunderstanding. She was telling me about her day and told me she was listening to some James Charles drama while she was working. Wanting to keep the convo going I asked if she wanted to tell me about it, she said no because she was busy. I was a bit tired (sleepy, it was midnight) and responded "Fair enough, I'll do some research myself" (in my mind I meant it as "I understand, I'll not burden you more, I'll go look it up and report back", I was trying to show I respected her time). She told me she wasn't a live reaction channel or a streamer. I told her "Fair enough, I thought you'd want to tell me about the drama" She didn't understand it that way and the next morning I woke up to her message "What did I do wrong?" And before I could reply she had blocked me...

At first I thought this was a regular shutdown, usually I give her a couple of days and she re-emerges. Thursday evening rolls in and usually by this point I would have had a little "Hey I'm a bit overwhelmed, talk to you later" message. But I got nothing.

In absolute fear and confusion at her silence, I messaged her multiple times via SMS and on her Facebook asking if we were okay. She saw my messages and read them. Thinking something really bad was going on I called her multiple times (she never picks up as it makes her anxious). I then received two texts from her "Stop" "You're scaring me". And then I was blocked.

It's now a week later. I've had time to reflect... And I'm so scared I destroyed a relationship with the most wonderful woman I had ever met.

Edit: I should also note, I have an anxious attachment style and a fear of abandonment. (Both of which I'm working on in therapy). So silence always screams "They are pulling away"

I've had multiple people ask if I am autistic. Most of the time they don't even ask me but ask my mom or my older sister. I don't think I am, I know I have some sensory problems (for example I hate being touched, even a tap on the shoulder because I can feel it afterwards and I hate it.) and I'm also a very picky eater because a lot of foods just feel wrong. But that doesn't mean I have it. Maybe a few years ago I would consider it more. Mostly because a few years ago I would struggle a lot in conversations, I remember listening intensely waiting for people to stop taking so I could, but then someone else would jump in and the subject would change. I don't do that anymore, I say what I wanna say (I do tend to interrupt people but the tradeoff is worth it.) I'm also way less sensitive to touch, I don't like it but I can do highfives or fistbumps, back in middle school I would freak out, one time a kid offered me a high-five and not wanting to be rude I accepted the high-five, but omg her hand was so sweaty, I started freaking out, tbh probably would of been better if I just said no to the high-five. I also used to be really into medieval toucher methods and would refuse to talk about anything else, but that was like 4 or 3 years ago. I mean there are still things I love to talk about and I have gone on hour long rants to my friends but everyone has something they love to talk about and I'm able to talk about other things. I think people have also asked because I wear the same things everyday (basically black pants, over sized button up that I tuck in (either white, black, or light blue) a tie and or a suit coat thingy) and I refuse to wear anything else. I would rather die. The thought of wearing different stuff feels wrong, this has nothing to do with sensory though, it just makes me feel like I'm in a costume.

But I don't think I have trouble in social situations or special interests or stuff like that anymore.

Trying to learn more about it.

I don't really think there are ghosts.

I have asked a lot of people. I'm not trying to act tough I have many fears. It seems really confusing to me.

I don't think there are ghosts. but even if there were why is it scary. Is it like having a mouse in the house which is unsettling and not right?

I like mice. But I don't like rats.

Is there something psychologically scary from the ghost that makes it scary?

Sometimes people are going through a lot and are in some sort of place where you need to stop what you are doing, give up your plans, and just really be with them and be present and attentive to them. It is worthwhile to do it. No problem. Seems like maybe ghosts are like that if it is La Llorona. i didn't understand she was a ghost. The scary part seems like she is a serial killer. The ghost part isn't relevant. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not afraid of La Llorona because she isn't real and is made up by adults to be weird.

But adults believe that there are ghosts and are afraid of them. Richard D James from Aphex Twin makes his head look weird sometimes and it's creepy. is it like that?

Are you afraid of ghosts?
is anyone afraid of ghosts or are people just pretending as a cultural story like with La Llorona?

I am afraid of things like heights and ebola. are ghosts a metaphor for ebola or tuberculosis or something. Sometimes I'm really afraid I'm gonna poop in my pants. But that's only when i'm not sure where the toilet is. i get scared sometimes. did i leave my phone somewhere?

But I don't understand ghosts. is this for real? it's okay if it is. I just wasn't sure.

Edited to add relevance. I don't understand this and I'm autistic. Maybe other autistic people can help me.

Also the biggest thing I want help with is how to be more empathetic and compassionate to people if they are afraid of ghosts.

is a never ending what is wrong with me. why am i like this. why do i feel this way. why is this so hard. oh you’re just anxious. you’re just depressed. it’s just ocd and adhd and sensory processing disorder and panic disorder and tics and overstimulation and anger issues and social awkwardness. it’s just this random collection of Things that you have for some reason.

and you learn so so slowly to see yourself from the outside and become Not Cringe, and mirror the mannerisms and behavior of whoever you happen to be talking to. everyone you like is a walking instruction manual on how to act more like a human and less like some weird animal in a costume.

and then you’re an adult and you’re independent and you have a career and a partner. and your partner Sees You in a way that’s a bit terrifying, sees through the masks and the mirrored behavior all the way down to that awkward animal pretending to be human.

and then your mother drops the bomb that you were diagnosed with autism at age 8 and no one told you because they didn’t want you to “think you weren’t as capable as other kids.” and then you spend a long time crying in the bath

31 F, just diagnosed a year ago. It’s really opening my eyes.

Would love to connect with anyone in the same boat because I feel like neurodivergence drastically affects how i respond to treatment (ie big time overwhelm trying to do ERP) and probably the way my symptoms present, especially when it comes to mental compulsions.

Thanks~

It looks surrealistic but my friend was arguing with his mom over something I don't remember (he's a bit irritable) and then I repeated some words of him because I often process words I hear by repeating them as a stim to relax myself which is known as echolalia, after that he threw me his jacket at my face yelling "are you mocking me?!" and we argued for several minutes.

This is the kind of times where I just sigh and realize that autism isn't a superpower and wish I had a normal brain.

Hi everyone. First of all, I’m not looking for an online diagnosis and I know Reddit can’t replace a professional evaluation. I’m mostly looking to hear from people who may relate to what I experience.

For a long time I’ve struggled with a lot of anxiety, especially social and relationship-related anxiety. I tend to overanalyze everything: texts, tone of voice, changes in behavior, facial expressions, social dynamics, etc. I constantly question how other people perceive me and I often feel out of place or “different” from others.

At the same time, there are some things that make me wonder if it’s only anxiety. Multiple people throughout my life have told me that I seem like I could have “high-functioning autism” (I know that term isn’t really used clinically anymore, but that’s how they described it). Not as an insult, just as an observation about the way I act and process things.

Sometimes I feel like I experience social interactions in a very analytical and “thought-based” way instead of naturally, like I have to consciously think about things that seem automatic for other people. I’m also extremely emotionally sensitive, get overwhelmed easily, and often feel fundamentally different from others, even though I care deeply about relationships and other people’s emotions.

I don’t know whether this could all fall under generalized/social anxiety, being a very sensitive person, or whether it might be worth looking into ASD.

Has anyone here experienced something similar? How did you personally tell the difference between anxiety/social anxiety and possible autism?

Thank you in advance. 🤍

I just came back from a therapy session and it was a disaster. This has only been my fourth appointment out of five with this therapist and I totally wasted my precious, short time (these are what I like to call "booster" sessions, you get five appointments for really urgent situations/topics as sort of an emergency intervention).

Today I wanted to talk about my suspicion that now that I take ADHD medication, what is left after the ADHD symptoms are under control could be signs of autism. Especially since switching from Methylphenidate to Vyvanse and now taking a higher dose, I feel like I just forgot the rules of... everything? Especially in social settings. Anyhow, I wanted to talk about that and give my therapist some examples, but she kept asking about said situations and kept asking and asking, and all her questions somehow led me far away from my initial pursuit. Only after leaving my therapist's office did I realise that I again slipped into the role of the "good and easy patient", that I had not been honest with her because my honesty would be too complicated, too difficult to handle, or too difficult to treat. I gave her the simple-to-solve problems. And I feel so, so stupid for this. I knew she isn't specialised in neurodiversity, since she told me right in the beginning. Again, these therapy sessions are not meant to be anything other than emergency intervention, so I did not expect her to treat my ADHD but... I don't know, I thought therapists nowadays had at least a little more understanding of neurodiversity.

Also, I don't know where this post is going or what my goal is, but I just wanted to put my thoughts and feelings somewhere. I feel so stupid for slipping into that stupid role again, just to make the lives of others easier, to be perceived as facile.

I hate being autistic. I know to some people it's like the best thing in the world but those are usually the people that have some kind of autistic superpower like they're amazing at math or they have unbelievable music ability or some other kind of amazing genius. But when you're just run-of-the-mill normal average everyday autistic person like me it's fucking sucks. There is nothing special about being autistic other than your superpower being able to alienate people with the greatest of ease. Are the other amazing superpower you were given with your autism where you can appear close enough to normal that when the glitches in The matrix make their appearance people blame you for them like you should have known no matter how many times you try to explain your social ignorance in blindness to people you still get blamed like you're the bad guy. Oh yeah autism is the fucking best.

It even makes it better when you have a family that leaves you over it. That would rather judge you and not have anything to do with you or support you because of your differences. Yeah autism is fucking great.

The best part is where you get to live in a world where you're basically a ghost with a pulse where you're always on the sidelines looking in at the party never get to participate.

Autism sucks. In the worst part is I get sad over the fact that I can't have relationships then I watch movies where people get to enjoy each other and make new friends and become close and share a bond and no one wants from me and I've tried in my socially awkward autistic way to have that with people. But no matter what I do relationships and people don't last in my life. I always thought about writing a biography called you have 5 minutes because after that you won't want any more of my time. And that's been the constant truth throughout my entire autistic life. It's hello followed by a goodbye and never call me again and sometimes even threats of being arrested if I do contact them again. Yeah being autistic is great.

You get to be close enough to normal to want the things that normal people have but far enough away from normal never to have them so you get to live in empty sad pathetic invisible life. But autism is great isn't it. we're so special that we're autistic right?

Autism fucking sucks

I have been good friends with this person since we were 7 years old, we are now 23. My relationship with them has always been pretty complicated, as they've always struggled with emotional disregulation and issues with social awareness due to their autism. I often feel like I can't express my opinions without criticism or counter arguments, that any moral value that they have (and that I don't share) gives them some sort of moral superiority over me. They often talk at me for extended periods of time, giving me little room to talk or talking over me/ignoring me, or shifting the conversation back onto themselves when I DO express myself.

The thing is, they have experienced a lot of trauma throughout their entire life, and I've been with them every step of the way. Because of their lack of social awareness and rigidity in their ways, they haven't been able to maintain many close relationships with anyone other than me. I have been with them through all of their difficulties, and I genuinely do care about them. But to be honest, I feel stuck in my relationship with them. They often overlook boundaries or get defensive when I try to assert myself.

They very recently came to visit me in the city that I live. The first 30 minutes they were here, they somehow forgot a very important bag at the train station, which they realized as soon as I had ubered us 20 minutes back to my apartment. I ubered us back, and their wallet was gone. That left me to cover all of their spending for the entirety of their trip here (they did pay me back thankfully), as well as carry their passport in my purse so they wouldn't lose it. They never helped me cook, or clean. They left my kitchen and bedroom a mess, not putting dishes away and spreading their stuff everywhere. I have a roommate who is not friends with this person. I understand that their autism can make them struggle with tidiness, but as a functional adult, I feel it's completely disrespectful to disregard our space and make it their own. Basically, I felt like I had to gentle-parent them for their entire stay with me. They live alone, go to school, and have had jobs, so it's not like they can't function in a "typical" neurological way.

All that to say, I can't do this anymore. I'm very sad to say that this relationship contributes nothing to my life, and puts an emotional load onto me that I'm no longer willing to bear. I really don't know how to go about this. They recently broke down to me about how they often feel othered by neurotypical people, and that their autism makes them a burden. They expressed that they feel anxious that they will no longer be liked if anyone spends an extended period of time with them. I worry about them and their mental health, but this is just getting to be too much for me and I feel trapped. How do I approach this conversation? Is it possible to salvage this friendship?

To specify I'm meaning FTM as first time mom. I've already run into quite a few sensory/emotional issues that I feel are directly related to being autistic. I have found a couple parenting how-to books for parents with autism but I'm looking for something specifically for the pregnancy part. Can be a fictional story or a how-to or a non fiction, just want to relate to it.

I posted a similar post a few months ago right after I got my diagnosis. Several people shared good insights which I greatly appreciate.

I’m posting again asking for some inputs from you guys.

To give you a little bit of background, I suspected I was autistic thru therapy a few years ago and I have been adjusting my life based on that assumption.

So it was very surprising to experience the psychological impact the diagnosis has had on me because I thought I already knew what I was getting into. I am still processing the diagnosis.

After the last post, I tried group therapy, peer support groups for autistic people, and a few therapy sessions along with researching as much as I could about the late diagnosis.

Personally, the most profound thing that’s happened psychologically is the reluctant acceptance of the aloneness.

More broadly speaking this diagnosis has given the firm validation that I’m not a fit for typical social settings including where talking is the main form of connection.

There’s a list of things I realized, observed and acted upon. But the main things are the desire for reciprocal relationships and lack of it and realizing that even with a lot of social events out there almost all of it won’t fit me.

I guess what I want to hear is how have any of you restructured your life after the diagnosis. It doesn’t have to be about relationships.

Thanks for reading.

My mom and I were watching Avatar and she sees a Reddit post in my updates about me talking about how she doesn’t believe my diagnosis. She believes I was telling people her business and that it was disrespectful. I didn’t listen and didn’t tell her the contents of the post and just said I was talking about my experience. She mentioned how in the adhd assessment they ruled out autism. how my doctor for the autism assessment almost ruled it out but because I gave the childhood form to my grandmother and my mom thought she would have diagnosed me with ptsd instead. And how the people during my in-patient ruled it out even though I was told that they did that because they couldn’t properly diagnose me.

TLTR: my mom sees the title of one of my reddit posts and gets pissed

My workplace is reaching 87° in some parts of the office. I’m on IR amphetamine salts and ambient indoor temperatures higher than 75° are unsafe because of increased cardiovascular risk. I’m still kind of new, but one of the managers joked that I should faint so we can go home. The problem is that the maintaince guy for the office park is off today, so there’s no guarantee the AC can be turned on/fixed. But I do feel more thirsty than usual, and I’m peeing all the time, and I think I can feel the extra stress on my circulatory system. It’s noon now, so as we get into the heat of the day, how should I go about it? All the middle managers and the CEO know it’s hot and there’s not really much any of us can do about it since it’s a maintenance issue. Some other offices in the building (in our same org) have working AC, but it’s a space issue if we all try to crowd in there.

edit: i’m gonna add that i’m not worried about literally dying, but wondering if the discomfort is worth trying to get us (or me at least) sent home for. additional context is that i have a hereditary metabolic/blood disorder already, and my thermoregulation is warped as i’m always too cold. so for me to be feeling hot means my body really is under heat stress

The 9 to 5, in office work is quite daunting. Its like i need to be on a performance persona. And it feels heavy and not authentic. Anyone else relates to this?

I believe that I am experiencing burnout. I'm not sure if it's autistic burnout specifically, but I'm sure that's influenced it. I feel like burnout is often framed from the perspective of a person's job, but I really don't think I'm burnt out from work. I'm very lucky to have a job that I love that is also very aligned with my special interest. If anything, my job energizes me. I do feel burnt out from the demands of everyday life, like cleaning, cooking, just waking up every day and having to do things. I feel a little dumb because it's really just the mundane demands of everyday life that are getting to me, not anything major. Has anyone else felt this way, and what helped you?