u/rayrenai

I honestly feel so humiliated idk how to start this. Okay so context: About 2 months ago, i got back in touch with an old school friend. It honestly happened because my mom was still good friends with his mom. So she invited them over for dinner. The first hangout was just friendly, didn't think much of it. Meeting an old friend after so long. We are both 22 now. He would a week later take us all out for dinner too. However the third time we met it really felt different. I realised he has grown up. Mature. Caring. It was a lunch at our house, after the said lunch, he took me out on a long drive. We got into deep conversations.

Something about him struck me. He was charming.

I suppose after that time i started thinking about him more. We had both recently followed each other on insta but hadnt talked really on there. I ended up making the first move.

We talked a bit, and then he started reacting on my stories and replying to them with like heart emojis and stuff. Meanwhile i went to attend my cousin's wedding, where he would often ask me to share photos of my looks, and when i would share them he'd say i was looking amazing and sexy. I mean any reasonable person would take such advances as well.. flirting. Yet at times, i would doubt it. What if he talks like this with everyone? He is a friendly and happy going guy afterall. With lots of friends. But somehow i thought well, he replies fast, always compliments me, knows me since school, I'm sure it's a bit deeper than just surface level friendliness. Later he would say once i come back from the wedding we will go on a bike ride and what not and rhat he will drive slow for me. Go for movies. Take me out for tea.

Now with family around, and a whole wedding happening in front of me, i couldn't help but well imagine. Over the years i had become very romantically reserved to the point i didn't believe in love or stuff like that. Nor did i think i had anything in me for someone to be interested in me. And around this time, i was reminded that i did confess to him about 8 years ago. We went to the same tuition class at that time. I remember just telling him that i liked him and him being shocked like wait what did you say can you repeat it again? While smiling. I thought it was an odd reaction, and we were 15 at the time. He was admittedly very childish so i was like um forget about it. And that was about it. But talking with him again made me realise that we both have grown up now. That i can love again. That before this reservedness of mine, i was a complete hopeless romantic. My mom when she realised that i was falling for him she encouraged it saying, he is q childhood friend, lives nearby, is caring and gentle. That i should try. Now my cousin's eventually found out, once they saw how much i was just texting this guy. Then a few days back me and my cousins were going somewhere, we were in the car, and this guy calls me for the first time to ask me if i was free and if i wanted to head out for a tea break. I couldn't obviously but i guess i kinda took it as him potentially asking me out on a date. Made me giddy and stuff. I figured he is more of a "i wanna talk face to face" kinda person thats why he called me out for tea. We ended up deciding on a later date.

So well the actual thing: today morning i texted him. He is pretty dry over texting and usually doesn't text me first unless i do so. Again the thing about him just being more interactive irl.

We started talking as usual, talking about random stuff i did he did, then suddenly he asks me if got a bf or not. I get flustered and i end up asking if he has a gf or not. He says something like I'm waiting for someone. Somewhere i think he is leading up to the moment of confession. That ykno, at the end he is gonna be like, I'm waiting for u silly! 😜 So I'm like who is it tell mee. And he is like gotta keep it private cuz ykno nazar. At this point i feel a little confused..so i just straight up ask who is she. To which he says this girl who lives in this location. And then he sends me the girl's pic. Said he had been talking with her for a month and she ended up confessing to him 2 days ago. And he was like whaa okay um lets see. I was like ummm r u joking? Like somehow i thought it was still a build up?? And then i was sending some 😦 these emojis to which he is like why r u reacting like this haha. And then he is like...wait do u like me?? And i was like...you don't??? And then he drops the truth nuke. I only like you as a friend 😭 and then im just sitting there...with like tears dwelling up in my eyes. Like omg what the hell just happened

He then goes on to say omg why didn't you tell me you liked me before then i would've cleared it out right then and there. And i was like so you never liked me? He was like i like you as a best frienddd. And i was like now who calls their best friend SEXY?? he was like but i talk like this with everyone. And then he was like actually it is my fault, i talk like this with everyone, with a flirtatious tone I'm so sorry you should've told me earlier. I feel so bad now. And then he was like chill chill nothing happened i don't wanna ruin our friendship, lets just meet 2 days later the way we decided, and we will talk and all. All this while i was like..you don't wanna try with me? He was like i wanna try but now there is someone else, so i don't wanna offend her...lets stay as friends and see if feelings develop etc etc. but i was very much just bawling my eyes out at this point. I have had extremely low self esteem as a kid, which eventually lead to be becoming so reserved in my adulthood. 8 years ago i had confessed to which i got not a solid reply back. We moved on, i got into some terrible relationships and i kept plummeting into my own bubble of maybe I'm not built for love and shit. After a long time, love was making me feel giddy, happy and actually excited and somewhere.. hopeful. It all came crashing down in a matter of seconds. I was a loser back then, and I'm still a loser now. Anyways sorry for the long rant. I was losing my shit in the morning but i suppose I'm a little stable now so i just kinda wanted to share this. He still wants to meet, as a friend and i suppose I'll go. But I'm just so fucking embarrassed and humiliated by my own stupidity i don't know how to face him.

So today i have been meaning to setup my upi and get my international transactions enabled on my fresh Mastercard, but every time I try to enable it, it sends an otp/code and then immediately the yono app crashes. The same happens in the upi section. Sends an otp, i receive the otp and the app crashes. Before i can put the code in. I have tried all this 5 different times, same thing happens. I have restarted my phone, uninstalled and reinstalled the app, but the problem persists. Can someone tell me whats going on and what can i do? Is yono sbi really this broken??