r/Situationships

So I'd like to think I'm not naive and I'd like to think I can trust guy because we've been talking for a very very long time and recently started officially dating but we were chilling the other day watching videos on his phone and a Snapchat message popped up well lo and behold it's the girl he used to chat with who is ironically a childhood friend of mine long estranged through time but I didn't press to see the message or blow up or anything just ask what it was about he said he didn't know why she messaged him and is married now and told me I have no competition but this whole situation has my Spidey senses tingling as I've been cheated on before and do not desire a repeat what do you guys think?

This was my first ever casual situation after getting out of a long-term relationship, so maybe I’m just inexperienced.
We slept together once and agreed we’d keep it casual. Afterwards I told him I wanted consistency (not a relationship, just if we’re doing this then let’s actually do it regularly).
A few days later **he** messaged **me** saying he wanted to see me that night. I said I’m going out with friends but I’ll let you know later if I’m free.. HE SAID HE WANTED TO SEE ME THAT NIGHT THATS WHAT MAKES IT WORSE.. HE SUGGESTED IT FIRST
I’m not even going to lie… I was drunk and down bad. Earlier that night I’d even sent him a thirsty text saying I wanted to “*slap the tip on my tongue*” 🤦🏾‍♀️ (yes, I know… spare me 😂).
Later I asked if he was actually trying to see me, shared my location and called him three times because I thought we were linking.
Instead he replied saying he was out, sent a bunch of flag emojis of his country because they won a World Cup game
I got annoyed and removed him from Snapchat.
The next day he texted my number asking why I’d removed him. I told him because he’d pissed me off.
His replies were basically:
“Cos I wasn’t free lmao.”
“Oh well. Tough.”
“Why are you having a sulk?”
Then after I admitted I was drunk and wanted to see him he said, “Minor. I guess the D was good lol. Next time we’ll arrange something.”
The thing is… I don’t even feel angry anymore.
I just feel like I’ve inflated this man’s ego for absolutely no reason. His responses have given me the biggest ick.
I called him three times, shared my location, admitted I wanted to see him, sent a horny text earlier in the night… all for someone who couldn’t even say, “Sorry, I was busy.”
The attraction has genuinely disappeared. I don’t even want to sleep with him anymore.
Has anyone else ever completely gone off someone after realising they were doing way more than the other person? Or am I just cringing because I’ve embarrassed myself? 😭

So the guy I am talking to, he just said something i personally felt unsettled about...

So I mistakenly left him on seen and i had a test coming and didn't have time to so I didn't reply for like hours, later I did and explained what happened, and like he wasn't like angry or anything it was playful and then he says, normally I would have blocked any girl who had left me on seen, but it's u so I resisted ...

This was the exact text

"Now u re forgiven since ig it's a genuine reason...🥹

I would've easily blocked any girl who left me on seen but I resisted... just because it was u.... 🥹😂"

So, this is the story it's a real one.I met him through Roblox, and before I knew it, he became one of the most important people in my life. Together with a girl best friend of ours , we became a trio. We laughed, played games for hours, and shared moments that made me feel like I had found people I truly belonged with.

As time went on, I realized I had a crush on him. And little did I know that's crush of mine turns into infatuation, actually I was planning on confessing on February 14 at that time but I got scared and coward so instead of telling him of I how I felt,I told him I no longer have a crush on a guy and then he remember the promise I made to him. He said "oh so you will finally tell me who? " and I was shock he remember, then I told him.A few months went by, we became super close.then later, when I started thinking he might have liked me too, I got scared. Instead of facing my feelings, I dated someone else. Looking back, I think I was a coward. I was afraid of ruining what we had, and ironically, my fear became one of the things that pushed us apart.

Life happened to both of us. He experienced heartbreak, and I went through my own changes. We drifted apart so slowly that I didn't even notice it at first. Every time I wanted to reach out, time is not aligning, I overthought it. I convinced myself he was avoiding me, so I gave him space, believing that was the right thing to do. In reality, we were both waiting for something neither of us said.

When we finally talked after so long, I was hoping we'd fix everything. Instead, we got closure. He explained his side, and I explained mine. We both admitted that we had grown apart. It hurt because I realized there wasn't a villain in our story. We just became different people living different lives.

Even after hearing his explanation, I still haven't fully moved on. I don't think I miss only the person he is now—I miss the version of us that stayed up playing games, the conversations we used to have, and the friendship that once felt effortless. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I had been braver. What if I had talked sooner? What if I hadn't run away from my feelings? Those "what ifs" still linger in my mind.

Now, I don't even know if we're still friends. Maybe we are, just not in the way we used to be. Maybe we're simply two people who once cared deeply about each other and are now walking different paths.

I'll always remember the time we said to each other the "maybe in another life"even if I wonder why not this life? Maybe because time doesn't want to.

Even so, I don't regret knowing him. He became an important chapter in my life, and because of him,I learned things about myself—about love, fear, regret, and the importance of communicating before it's too late.

I still hope that someday we'll find something we're both interested in and talk again. Not because I expect everything to go back to how it was, but because I'd like to believe that some connections don't completely disappear. Until then, I'll keep moving forward, carrying the memories with me, even if a part of my heart still hasn't learned how to let go.

What did you do to better yourself and how long did it take you. It seems like I never learn.

TL;DR - he’s been acting very affectionate and I’m trying to figure out what that means

So I’m not going to say any NSFW information but I will just say that we met up and did some sexual things but we are only really friends that are attracted to each other. This was my first time even having my first kiss so it’s very possible i am just reading into things. He is also very experienced with about 14 bodies now and who knows how many kisses but he’s very open about telling me about it. Besides that I’m trying to figure out if the things he did were romantic or normal?! Please tell me I’ll make a list of what confuses me and I’m not saying that I’m in love with him or something so be completely honest with me please!! (We have no mutual friends btw)

-kissed me on the forehead
-kept insisting that we can just drive around if I’m too nervous
- bought me ice cream and Taco Bell after (we did 2 days in a row)
-held my hand the entire car ride 1 time and smiled at me when I tightened it
- hand on my thigh the entire ride the second time
- texts I miss you many times
- talked for a hour over text after
-snuggled and kept saying he didn’t want to leave he could stay like that forever
- gave me pet names like “princess” and “gem”
-took selfies of us snuggling
- stared at me and said he likes how I look at him
- #1 on snap and commented on it when he moved down on mine
- got me to say hi to his friends

I need some advice. I had something going on with a guy from my class. He was really nice to me and everyone wanted us to start something. I think I had a crush on him and I started growing feeling. Everything felt so nice and beautiful. One night we both got really drunk and we started kissing each other and we ended up at his place. I was a virgin before but I decided to do it with him because I trusted him. After that I spent the night at his place and I felt nice. I was confused because why did I let it happen with someone who is not really showing interest. I also told him that I have a crush on him. But he never said anything back. I knew that he might’ve not see me like this because I was guessing that I’m not his type. He also said that I’m not his type and that he doesn’t want to give me hopes. I accepted it but somehow it still felt weird that we did it and that he was my first time. Now a week later, we were on a party with our friend group. We kind of ignored each other and I texted him that I would like to talk. And then we met secretly and talked about everything. He didn’t really give me answers but he said "I thought I might have feelings for you but I don’t think I have” and after that he kissed me again and the only reason I could go to this party is that he got the tickets for me. And this time I went back and asked him why he is kissing me and he said that he doesn’t know. So another week later I still had a bad feeling. We texted very rarely and it is getting less. So we met again at a uni party, and I felt weird. Because we seemed distant but glanced at each other. I asked him on chat before if we could met and talked about everything without alcohol involving he said that we should talk on the uni party. We did talk but I didn’t go well. He just said I can’t tell you right now. But I didn’t understand why. I want him and I told him that I would’ve been okay with whatever we have right now. At the end of the party he walked me to the bus station because he didn’t wanted me to walk alone in the night. It was weird because we talked about us and now we are both alone again. Somehow I kissed him on the cheek and asked him why he is like this. And he started kissing me back. We kissed and missed my bus. So we went to his place again. We did it again and this time it felt more passionate. We asked each other if it feels nice and he was gentle. I liked it. After that we spent the whole morning together and I met his friends. He drove me to uni and then suddenly he said “we should end this”. I didn’t understand because everything went so well until now. We were really happy and suddenly he said this. Then I asked him why and what happened. And he said "I feel dirty” I was a bit hurt but I asked him why he says that. And then he said “if I want to get to know someone then we have to end this right?” I looked at him and said “of course? Why?” And then he said that he is texting with a girl recently and asked me if I want to know how it goes. I looked at him in disbelief and said “you are getting to know someone right now??” I didn’t understand why he slept with me when he is getting to know someone else. I felt hurt and used. Even tho I knew what would’ve happen. He said “let’s end it here”, I froze and he left me. It hurt and I couldn’t believe it. After that I felt weird and I was just thinking of doing a pregnancy test. It came out positive. My world broke. I never wanted to get pregnant. And now it’s also someone who has no intention of being serious with me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. After that in class everyone noticed that something was going on. And he texted me and asked me if everything is alright with me. I texted him that I got a positive pregnancy result. He asked me what I was going to do and I told him the only option left right now is to abort it. He didn’t show me any care and I feel like he doesn’t care at all. He said that he can’t be there for me right now, that he has a lot of things going on. I can’t believe how naive I am. How did I trust him. He broke me and I think I will never be the same. He took everything he could and treating me with no respect. I am really confused and I don’t know how to handle this. I can’t really tell anyone. I feel alone and I don’t want to handle myself right now

so i matched with this guy on a dating app, he’s 3 years older than me and he’s a nerdy guy which is totally my type and i immediately swiped right when i saw him cause i also saw he has the same interests as me but at that time i wasn’t hoping for a match but three days after that, we matched and we talked a lot about what we like and what we do. he reads a lot of manga so i tried to ask him a lot about it and he happily answered and he does the same with my hobbies and it felt like we really clicked and after four days of talking i finally felt comfortable and maybe he did too (?) and he asked for my socials so we exchanged them. after that we talked about a couple stuff, he complimented how i looked like a really cheerful person and how i could light up the room every time i talked, i get why he was open about this after we exchanged socials, that’s because i post a lot on my social media and maybe that’s the first time he saw that side of me. but then after that maybe we both got busy cause i was facing my finals and then we stopped talking and left as just mutuals on our own social media. i initially wanted to text him but i felt insecure and scared that what if he’s saying those things out of pity (?) and honestly i really want to talk to him again but i’m not sure what to say or should i even text at all? i need advice please

I need some advice. I had something going on with a guy from my class. He was really nice to me and everyone wanted us to start something. I think I had a crush on him and I started growing feeling. Everything felt so nice and beautiful. One night we both got really drunk and we started kissing each other and we ended up at his place. I was a virgin before but I decided to do it with him because I trusted him. After that I spent the night at his place and I felt nice. I was confused because why did I let it happen with someone who is not really showing interest. I also told him that I have a crush on him. But he never said anything back. I knew that he might’ve not see me like this because I was guessing that I’m not his type. He also said that I’m not his type and that he doesn’t want to give me hopes. I accepted it but somehow it still felt weird that we did it and that he was my first time. Now a week later, we were on a party with our friend group. We kind of ignored each other and I texted him that I would like to talk. And then we met secretly and talked about everything. He didn’t really give me answers but he said "I thought I might have feelings for you but I don’t think I have” and after that he kissed me again and the only reason I could go to this party is that he got the tickets for me. And this time I went back and asked him why he is kissing me and he said that he doesn’t know. So another week later I still had a bad feeling. We texted very rarely and it is getting less. So we met again at a uni party, and I felt weird. Because we seemed distant but glanced at each other. I asked him on chat before if we could met and talked about everything without alcohol involving he said that we should talk on the uni party. We did talk but I didn’t go well. He just said I can’t tell you right now. But I didn’t understand why. I want him and I told him that I would’ve been okay with whatever we have right now. At the end of the party he walked me to the bus station because he didn’t wanted me to walk alone in the night. It was weird because we talked about us and now we are both alone again. Somehow I kissed him on the cheek and asked him why he is like this. And he started kissing me back. We kissed and missed my bus. So we went to his place again. We did it again and this time it felt more passionate. We asked each other if it feels nice and he was gentle. I liked it. After that we spent the whole morning together and I met his friends. He drove me to uni and then suddenly he said “we should end this”. I didn’t understand because everything went so well until now. We were really happy and suddenly he said this. Then I asked him why and what happened. And he said "I feel dirty” I was a bit hurt but I asked him why he says that. And then he said “if I want to get to know someone then we have to end this right?” I looked at him and said “of course? Why?” And then he said that he is texting with a girl recently and asked me if I want to know how it goes. I looked at him in disbelief and said “you are getting to know someone right now??” I didn’t understand why he slept with me when he is getting to know someone else. I felt hurt and used. Even tho I knew what would’ve happen. He said “let’s end it here”, I froze and he left me. It hurt and I couldn’t believe it. After that I felt weird and I was just thinking of doing a pregnancy test. It came out positive. My world broke. I never wanted to get pregnant. And now it’s also someone who has no intention of being serious with me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. After that in class everyone noticed that something was going on. And he texted me and asked me if everything is alright with me. I texted him that I got a positive pregnancy result. He asked me what I was going to do and I told him the only option left right now is to abort it. He didn’t show me any care and I feel like he doesn’t care at all. He said that he can’t be there for me right now, that he has a lot of things going on. I can’t believe how naive I am. How did I trust him. He broke me and I think I will never be the same. He took everything he could and treating me with no respect. I am really confused and I don’t know how to handle this. I can’t really tell anyone. I feel alone and I don’t want to handle myself right now

TL;DR - he’s been acting very affectionate and I’m trying to figure out what that means

So I’m not going to say any NSFW information but I will just say that we met up and did some sexual things but we are only really friends that are attracted to each other. This was my first time even having my first kiss so it’s very possible i am just reading into things. He is also very experienced with about 14 bodies now and who knows how many kisses but he’s very open about telling me about it. Besides that I’m trying to figure out if the things he did were romantic or normal?! Please tell me I’ll make a list of what confuses me and I’m not saying that I’m in love with him or something so be completely honest with me please!! (We have no mutual friends btw)

-kissed me on the forehead
-kept insisting that we can just drive around if I’m too nervous
- bought me ice cream and Taco Bell after (we did 2 days in a row)
-held my hand the entire car ride 1 time and smiled at me when I tightened it
- hand on my thigh the entire ride the second time
- texts I miss you many times
- talked for a hour over text after
-snuggled and kept saying he didn’t want to leave he could stay like that forever
- gave me pet names like “princess” and “gem”
-took selfies of us snuggling
- stared at me and said he likes how I look at him
- #1 on snap and commented on it when he moved down on mine
- got me to say hi to his friends

​

I met a girl on Reddit a while ago. She had recently gone through a breakup, and we started talking. At first, I wasn't expecting anything I was just being there for her. But somewhere along the way, I started developing feelings.

For some context, I was in a relationship years ago, and after that ended I stayed single for almost 3 years. During that time I've talked to hundreds of people online, but I never felt a connection like I did with her. She just felt... different.

Eventually, I told her how I felt. She rejected me, mainly because she's older than me and doesn't see me that way. She said she'd like to stay best friends.

The problem is that it's really hard for me to see her as "just a friend" because my feelings are genuine. What made me fall for her wasn't just her personality it was how loyal she was. Seeing how committed she was in her previous relationship made me admire her even more. It made me feel that if she ever chose me, she'd be just as loyal, and honestly I wanted to treat her with all the love, respect, care, and consistency she deserves.

I know she doesn't owe me a relationship, and I completely respect her decision. I'm not trying to change her mind or convince her to choose me. I just can't switch my feelings off overnight.

I also don't want to lose her completely. If staying friends is the only place she sees for me in her life, I'm willing to try because she genuinely means a lot to me. If we ever have misunderstandings, I'd rather apologize and work things out than lose the connection completely. At the same time, I know a friendship should be healthy for both people, and I don't want to ignore my own feelings either.

Lately, though, I've noticed she's not talking to me the way she used to. Maybe she's creating some distance, or maybe I'm just overthinking it. Either way, I can feel myself slowly trying to let go of my feelings because I know I can't force someone to love me.

Deep down, I think I already know the answer: accept the friendship if I genuinely can, without expecting her feelings to change. If I can't do that, then maybe I need to step back and move on.

So I wanted to ask people who have been through something similar:

Should I accept the friendship and move on, or should I keep hoping that maybe one day things change? Have any of you ever stayed friends with someone you loved, and did it actually work out?

Basically I got into a situationship I \[23F\] and him \[24M\] with someone for almost five months - we clicked so badly, however he had history of disappearing randomly like he did for a week last April but whenever he returns he'd tell me the summary of what happened and all shit

He was the type to 24/7 updates me and calls me every night to sleep.

We got super close, and we went to multiple dates as well. He would pick me up from my work for dates and drive an hour to bring me back home. He was my first in everything.

Fast forward to June, we had so much intimacy. There was a day he suddenly disappeared for more than 24 hours and when he returned he said he got hospitalized turns out it was his 7yr relationship ex's birthday. I let it pass thinking that maybe he was just really sick.

Then, it happened again.. he went cold towards me and he disappeared again. Which was last Saturday. When he returned he apologized so much and said he had a lot going on in life and he's trying his best to keep up.

I tried to forgive.. we went back to normal - however he started acting so distant as if his energy is divided into somewhere.

I'd see him constantly online in whatsapp which is not much a used app in our country.

He still sleep-called me and was still showering me with updates and reassurances.. until last Wednesday, he shut off the night with me by saying "I'll be busy now, we're on the way to the hotel" coz he was with his family

The next day, I stalked his sister's page, turns out his ex was with him in the family dinner and his sister's graduation party. I felt really confused because just last week he as badmouthing me how materialistic and aggresive his ex was - and he was telling me how much he loves me.

It’s been four days and he is still ghosting me. I saw his ex followed him again on his socials - and he would vew my story and did not bother to even like it.
I feel so bad as if I lost a piece of myself, he was my routine everytime something inconvenient happens to him I am the one he runs to. I knew his entire family and his friends, his schedule.. it just hurt so badly that there was not even an explanation from him.

It just does not make sense to me at all, he would whisper how much he loves me whenever he drowns me with kisses. It is so unfair. I just want to hear from him again.

I sent him a long confrontional message and he did not even bother to view it.

Why is it so hard for them to actually listen to you and not just care or think about themselves all the time. Why do they pressure. Why don’t they care about you as a person. Why do I feel like I was just some sort of service doll.

I had been in no contact with an ex situationship for 6 months and last night I reached out to him after a few drinks with my friends. I went to the bar where he was at and we were okay for the first 5 minutes. We were laughing and joking until he brought up how I was madly in love with him. I felt his ego, his confidence and I suddenly felt an ick.

I saw him at the bar because I wanted to feel his presence. I missed him and I just felt like I wanted him at my side. So when he joked about our time together, how I was into him and how he was trying to touch me and imply to hook up with me, I just calmly nodded my head left and right while smiling. He asked me “no?” and I said “yeah”. I didn’t ask him how he was, his life update or anything. He just told them
to me straight up. Weirdly I didn’t feel anything while he was telling me his updates.

He asked if I’ve been seeing someone or if I’m out dating other guys and I just said “why would I tell you that?”. I felt like he wanted access to me again. I told him that one time I saw his hinge profile asking girls around his area to hit him up to “grab a bite”. He was embarrassed but I knew that he knows now what I think of him.

So when he kept on trying to offer to hook up, I said I’m heading home. He asked if he’s never getting a hug anymore and I still went in for a hug. I was still warm. I was still
kind but I chose myself and my self respect last night because I don’t want to wake up again regretting and being on the same cycle again.

so I(20F) have been talking to a guy(21M) for like 3mon now and i met him first time after talking for like 2months. So everything was going well.

But its been like a past few days that he was going out with his friends and all and he used to disappear. At first i was like dont do this to me atleast keep updating me and he was like okay. But he did the same for like 2/3times. and i got angry and stopped talking and he was like he is sorry when he is drunk he dont remember anything and all. There was no problem regarding that topic.

But the day before yesterday, He send me some post and i was like you should upload and he did. and his friends were commenting it and he was replying them then i decided to comment it and he deleted that. I was so pissed off about that and i asked him why did he deleted my comment and he said there was something glitch in his post but he was totally lying to me cause other comments were still there and he was replying them but mine was deleted. I was like bitch do u think im dumb.

That topic i deleted made a big scene but i was still upset and he went out again yesterday. And he disappeared again. He was in an event and he said to me that there was no electricity in that event thats why he couldn’t reply me back and i said “do u think im some dumb bitch who is gonna believe your lame ass excuse, we should stop talking”. And he said he is telling the truth and he disappeared again the whole night and texted me in the morning as if nothing happened. And he said he will explain it to me later at night in a call.

I really need some perspective because I feel like I’m draining myself and losing my mind.

I’ve been sleeping with this guy since September. He is incredibly hot and cold with me, carries a lot of baggage from his ex, and honestly treats me like an afterthought. He only wants me when it completely suits him, but despite how badly he treats me, I have developed real, deep feelings for him.

There is a massive layer to this that he doesn't know. Back in February, I found out I was pregnant with his baby. Without going into too much detail, I am no longer pregnant. I never told him about it, and I am starting to realize that carrying this secret entirely on my own is what is keeping me so deeply, painfully attached to him. My brain feels tied to him through this trauma. I don’t know if I feel safe to tell him, plus he has avoidant attachment so I don’t know how much he would support me.

He is all I think about. He rejects me over and over, but whenever I have a drink, my inhibitions drop and I text him. Every single time, the same loop happens: he’ll reply at first, give me a tiny bit of attention, and then just abruptly stop and leave me on read. Like last week he was flirty with me then this week he treats me like he doesn’t even know me.

I woke up today feeling so much shame. Why am I finding it so incredibly hard to let go? Why do I keep embarrassing myself by chasing someone who clearly doesn’t care about me the way I care about him? I want to break the loop.

I’ve had 3. I just feel dehumanised and sick