[18M] I need some advice with an ex situationship [19F] and how we interact.
Hi everyone,
I will try to keep this short, but I think context is required to fully understand the situation I’m in.
I (18M) have had a kind of soft spot for a girl (19F) since we were in our senior year of high school about 2 years ago, but never acted on it since I was scared on rejection. Since then, I have been in two relationships and snapped this girl (yes we still use snap where I live) and didn’t think much about it. About two and half months ago, I gathered my courage and engaged in a conversation with her via text. For me, it was really great to talk to her both, because I was happy to get to finally talk to her and because we got along very well. We replied to each others dozens of times per day and sometimes talked for an hour without interruption. We also told each other stories about our life and just had great interactions. Both of us were really occupied so it made seeing each other quite the challenge but still managed to go on two dates and both we had really good interactions and everything went well even though we didn’t kiss or anything. After that second date, she began to be more distant and reply less and less to me, which I quickly noticed and it affected me more than I would like to admit. Even though she acted distant, she told me two times that she was still interested in seeing me, but it would take some time because her agenda was full (which was true), so it kind of reassured me because she showed that she still had interest in seeing me. She also told me she was sorry for not responding fast more than once and that also made me think that all would come back to normal. Still, after sometime this wasn’t enough and I asked her one night if she was still really interested in us seeing each other, to which she said that she didn’t know, because every time she talks to a guy she has a feeling that it wouldn’t work and each time it happens to be right. I don’t mean to be of bad fate or anything, but I think that this is not a good thought to have while starting to talk to someone and I don’t mean this in any damaging way, but it might explain why she hasn’t been in any serious relationship. To go back to the story, after she says that, I tell her that not talking anymore makes me sad a bit because we had such a good relation (while talking), and she says that it’s true but it would be better to not see each other anymore. I always said during this process that I will respect her choice and I finished by saying her that I wished her the best and bla bla bla. She says the same to me and I go to see my friends to change my mind. I don’t really look at my phone during the night, but I see that she sent me some more texts, so I go open them. She says that we could still talk to one another without talking to one another. I respond and say that yeah if i have something to tell her or she has something to tell me that we could talk, which was my way of distancing a bit myself, which I thought was what she wanted. She didn’t really react well and only liked that message, so I asked if she meant more like talking like we were doing before but just as friends, to which she replied that yeah, that was what she meant. I know this was a bad idea, but I agreed. Since then, I have tried to put a distance between ourselves, but it was her that kept engaging with me, like she doubled snapped me and talked about her day and told me random thing like when we were still in a situationship. Now I come to the part that makes me question everything: as I told you we told each other many stories about ourselves and in one of hers, she told me about this guy that for months tried to stop to talk to but couldn’t bc i don’t know why. It didn’t work due to him being a complete ass and acting like a douche. I find myself wondering if it couldn’t be me too or if i’m just delusional. I feel like she tells me that she doesn’t want to talk to me but still shows interest. (I also want to had that she responds more fast now that we aren’t in a situationship anymore, which is kind of weird and that we are also each other #1 best friend on snap if that has any importance). I feel really bad for telling this story here but I really need to get some advice from third parties bc i don’t know what to think of it and I feel like there are so much mixed signals coming from her end, but I’m not sure. Thanks to everyone who reads this and I wait impatiently for your feedbacks.