[28F]Would I be making a mistake?
So for context [28m] (fake name) and i have known each other for 2 years off and on for a long time on though when we met he was an active addict doing dumb stuff and was supposed to be for fun nothing serious then I did catch feelings cause he was sweet and exactly what I physically wanted which the physicality of it all is what convinced me I could keep it not serious dumb move on my end 😂. I did not know he was an addict till I had already caught feelings btw. We never really dated just flirted with the idea and kept messing around but both did have feelings for each other eventually I decided I couldn’t handle everything and wanted a real relationship, I did stay single just simply to heal from it before meeting anybody else and dragging that onto someone who didn’t deserve that baggage. Well time goes by and eventually I decide I want him back I never moved on I couldn’t get over him so I said f it let’s try this again. So I go through a whole process of finding his social media message him no response for a week or two turns out he was in a rehab program decided to get clean 🎊 perfect time right??? Well wrong cause then after talking to him for awhile I get scared that I’ll mess up his sobriety so then I pull back and stop talking to him for awhile I come back and he’s too mad understandably and we just start messing around again it turns into us playing a cut off game and me not being able to get him to express emotion so then once again I leave after crying for days on end over how badly he was pushing me away nothing extreme just him basically being insanely distant we both have our reasons for being distant I’ll be honest we both hurt each other in different ways. Fast forward to me actually respecting my decision to leave instead of continuing to have intercourse with someone who may never want me again romantically, it’d been a bit and now honestly I’d moved on this time after weeks of crying and making shit up in my head about him to deal but honestly I’d daydream constantly about him I never stopped loving him just couldn’t handle the hurt anymore. Now fast forward even more he’s come back (today to be exact) he thought a lot about the last things I said to him I was civil and painfully honest about my feelings, how he was with me, and so on and so forth when I left “for good” said he wants a relationship and I made him promise things would actually be different he agrees but no I’m not being dumb I know only time will tell. Nowwww another [28m].. I and him have been dating a month officially and it took a lot for me to really be attracted to him I won’t lie but he doesn’t need any work he’s emotionally mature, he wants to give me everything I want I’ll be honest he’s currently incarcerated and maybe I did that on purpose 😂🤷♀️ I really don’t know but it happened and I do deeply care for both but I really only naturally say I love you to first [28m] but I also stopped picturing a future with him because i thought I’d never get it really. So would I regret giving first guy this final chance?