First met her 45-years ago.
TL;DR: she has always meant a lot to me and yesterday, 48-years after we first met, we spent a day together. And I realized that I should have tried more 35-years ago to see if there was a spark. Both married and not looking.
She (f60) and me (m60) were family friends as children. She was my first teenaged crush, but as a young boy and her as a more mature girl (yes, we are the same age), I didn’t have any clue or understanding of anything.
I moved away at 14 but we keep in contact through families. At age 18, we were again in the same city. And we didn’t go anywhere.
In our 20s, we went on what in retrospect were dates, but as a typical male, I probably didn’t understand that.
Four years ago, I was in that same small city where we were first friends. I was on a street where we would have been… and the silence and quiet of everything for a moment was mystical. (The only parallel I can describe is the scene in “Field of Dreams” where Kevin Costner meets “Doc” on the street). She was right there… with me… for a moment. And it was magical. And a flood of emotions overcame me.
And yesterday, I spent the day with her (and her parents and my wife) but those emotions flooded back. We laughed… we talked… and I told her of my “experience” and she didn’t laugh.
The missed soulmate was 35-years ago when we were in our 20s. And yesterday showed me just how much that is true.
I’ll always love her but nothing will come of it. And that’s ok. I’m not sad. I’m just regretful that I didn’t explore it more when I should have.
There’s a line in a movie: “all you need is 15-seconds of insane courage”. Wish I had that courage then.
Throwaway account for obvious reasons. And more for me than any of you!