r/AmITheJerk

My girlfriend's family invited us on a week long vacation. I said no because I don't have enough vacation days from work.

She got upset and said I'm not making an effort with her family.

But i need those days for emergencies and holidays. I can't use them all on one trip.

TL;DR: Girlfriend wants me to use all my vacation days on a trip with her family. I said no.

So I’m sitting in my car outside my apartment right now because I genuinely don’t know how to walk in and act normal after this.

My girlfriend left yesterday for a short work trip, just two days. Before leaving, she asked me to stop by her apartment and feed her cat because apparently the cat screams nonstop if nobody’s there. Fine. I like the cat anyway.

Tonight I went over after work, fed the cat, cleaned up spilled dry food from the floor, and noticed her friend Maya was already there. She has a spare key too, which I knew about. At first everything felt normal. We talked in the kitchen while the microwave kept making that annoying clicking sound.

Then the conversation got weird.

She started asking how I handle “being alone” when my girlfriend’s away and said stuff like “some people need attention more than others.” I laughed because I honestly thought she was joking.

She wasn’t.

When I grabbed my jacket to leave, she told me if I “ever needed company,” she’d be available. Then she touched my arm and said she was serious.

I just stood there like… what.

Now I have no idea how to tell my girlfriend because they’ve been best friends forever, but hiding it feels wrong too.

AITJ

I'm 23. i found an apartment and signed the lease. I told my parents after everything was done.

They got furious. said i should have discussed it with them first.

I didn't tell them earlier because i knew they would try to talk me out of it or make me feel guilty.

but i'm an adult. I don't need permission.

TL;DR: Moved out without telling parents first. They're angry i didn't discuss it with them.

This keeps coming up in family discussions. My oldest daughter is mad at me because she feels that I should spend on her what I spent on my second daughter. Here’s the thing though, I spent $7200 on braces for my second daughter. The oldest started car shopping because she felt she was owed $7200. I don’t see those as the same at all. My father recently brought it up again. Am I the jerk for not matching what I spent on braces?

Edit: I had already given the oldest $1000 to get a car. She had a car and was looking to upgrade it.
Also, I asked my ex wife for help to pay for the braces. She told the girls the cost. That is why she knew how much they were.
Edit 2: Three years between the girls. The braces were medically necessary. The first girl did not require braces.

I have a best friend, we have been friends for eight years, and it has always been our dream to go abroad together. It just sounds incredible to vacation as a duo, wake up for breakfast together, tan, and take photos.

I told my boyfriend about this a month and a half ago. Of course, he immediately said he wasn't completely on board, but he said he needed to think about it and that it was a debatable topic. Basically, I kept talking and talking and talking to him about it. Eventually, he stopped reacting badly and would just listen, so I thought that everything was fine and he agreed to let me go. In fact, we generally don’t have strict restrictions in our relationship. Naturally, we understand that we don't go to clubs at night and things like that, but I never thought he wouldn't be able to let me go abroad.

I was supposed to go entirely at my own expense, I worked a lot specifically for this. And then yesterday, we literally had a conversation when I already started picking out hotels. He says wait, you're actually going somewhere? I'm against it. I don't want you to go, you’ll be partying and hanging out there. I said, I won't be partying or hanging out. If you want, I will just tan and eat, and we will have fun during the day, and at night we will sleep in our room. He said he is against it anyway.

Honestly, this hurt me so deeply because I dreamed about this so much, I wanted it so badly, and now all my dreams just flew into the trash. Now I don’t want to talk to him, I just have no desire. Of course, I don’t want to break up, but this is so unpleasant and hurtful.

Tell me, am I the jerk? Am I wrong in this situation? I understand that he worries about me, but I feel like any girl would want to go on a vacation with her best friend.

Hi, so where I am it revenge porn isn't illegal or legal. It's a grey area, these men especially the one I posted on my site have kept sending me the same picture and over from different accounts. By me creating this site to shame them would this make me a jerk?

I m an Indian boy who lives with his mom and one day when I came in my mom's room everything went WRONG.

So,I was just sitting in my mom's room then all of a sudden,she said "ur a disappointment

I said "mom i littrealy got the number 1 position of the olympiad exam.

Then all of a sudden she started screaming saying "I was immature, disrespectful" and all of that stuff.

and just so let u know I am an 11 year old.

I was breaking inside thinking how could she do this

And this is NOT the only time she has done this this has happened multiple times and I m done hiding it.

So to start off this story, I love things involving countries. Flags, maps, history, military stuff — all of it. One day, me and my mom were at this big store, and while she was shopping for boring adult stuff, I spotted a giant bucket of toy soldiers near the toy aisle. Not the cheap tiny ones either — these were detailed soldiers with tanks, helicopters, and little country flags on the bases.

I immediately grabbed the box because it was literally perfect for making imaginary battles and country alliances at home. My mom said since I had been doing good in school lately, I could get it.

Now here’s where the problem starts.

When we were on our way to the checkout, this Karen who looked to be in her mid-30s approaches me and demands I give my toy to her son. For the story I will call this Karen Cassandra.

Cassandra had the classic Karen look too: giant sunglasses indoors, expensive purse, and that haircut that looked like she argued with managers professionally.

Her kid looked around seven years old and was already staring at my toy soldiers like he had discovered treasure.

Cassandra walks up and says,
“Oh good, you found the last one. My son wants that, so hand it over.”

At first I honestly thought she was joking.

I awkwardly laughed and said,
“Uh… no? My mom’s buying it for me.”

The kid immediately started fake crying. Not normal crying either — the loud dramatic kind where kids peek through their fingers to see if it’s working.

Cassandra crossed her arms.
“You’re too old for toys anyway. Be mature and give it to someone who’ll appreciate it.”

Now for the record, I’m 13 and I still love specific toys like the toy soldiers, and just to share, the set was about the American Civil War.

That instantly annoyed me because first of all, nobody is too old for hobbies. Second, SHE walked over to ME.

I politely said,
“Sorry, but no.”

Big mistake.

Cassandra suddenly tries to yank the box right out of my hands.

Luckily I had a good grip on it, but she starts going,
“Don’t be selfish! My son deserves it more!”

At this point people are staring. One employee notices the commotion and walks over asking what’s happening.

Before I can even talk, Cassandra points at me and says,
“This teenager stole that toy from my son!”

I was completely shocked.

Thankfully, the employee didn’t immediately believe her because there were witnesses nearby. One older guy spoke up and said,
“No ma’am, that kid had it first. We all saw you try to take it.”

Cassandra’s face instantly changed colors.

Then karma hit HARD.

Apparently while she was too busy trying to steal my toy soldiers, her shopping cart rolled away because she didn’t lock the wheel properly. The cart slowly drifted right into one of those giant soda displays.

CRASH.

Soda cans exploded everywhere. It sounded like fireworks.

Employees rushed over while Cassandra stood there horrified. Her son stopped fake crying immediately and just stared at the mess.

The manager came over, reviewed the security cameras, and figured out she had lied about me stealing the toy. She started arguing with the manager too, which somehow made everything worse.

Eventually they told her she needed to leave the store.

As she was storming out, her son looked back at me and yelled,
“I DIDN’T EVEN WANT THE SOLDIERS!”

The entire checkout area went silent for like two seconds before people started laughing.

The employee actually apologized to ME for the situation and even gave me a discount coupon for having to deal with all the chaos.

So in the end:
I kept my toy soldiers.
Cassandra got kicked out.
And somewhere out there is a destroyed soda display that will never recover.

Hi, last year I met this girl ( I'll call her V) at my job I was working at during the that time. Im (19M) and she was (19F). It started as casual conversations during work and turned into her flirting with me like touching my shoulder when talking to me or giving me free food etc. For context, we used to work at a restaurant. We shortly after expressed our feelings for each other and started talking from there. A couple months pass and we are doing great! Going out on dates, she met my parents, I met hers, and we enjoyed spending time together.

As the weeks and months went on, I started seeing her red flags and turns offs. She spent the night for the first time about 4 months in and we were baking cinnamon rolls. As they were in the oven, I ended up falling asleep in my bed since that day we had been out all day, she came into my room saying if I didn't get up, she was going to leave. Shortly after that, I woke up and she was about to walk off the door. I stopped her and we continued as normal. I thought It was weird but put a blind eye to it since it was our first night together.

After that, it went down hill, I'm very family oriented and she would constantly call her mom a bitch and when her mom would call her or text her, she would never let me read or listen to conversation. Which i didn't mind cause thats her business but it would be weird that she kept that part private even though I had met her parents before. Another tough part would be that she didnt like any of my hobbies. I would mention that I liked to play pool or play darts, and she agreed to play them with me. She acted like she hated being there or that she wasn't even interested in playing the game.

My last straw was when I told her that I think we should take a couple weeks to get our lifes straightened up and be apart since I was still going to school and she had a bunch of stuff going on in her life as well. Both of our schedules didnt line up with each other's since we worked different schedules most of the time and my college was strict on deadlines. She reacted as I thought and we fought for a couple hours but ended up agreeing with each other at the end. The same week, her mom calls me asking if I had heard from V and I said no. She had me on life 360 so I looked and told her mom the last known location since her phone had died and been missing for 9 hours. Long story short, she was at another mans house hooking up and was drinking. She hated me for telling her mom where she was. She could of been kidnapped and if I didnt help, I would of felt terrible. Fast forward to last week, we had been no contact for 5 months and she was enjoying life with her new bf which I later found out was hooking up with her while we were together. She called me asking to go to target with her since she had no one to go to. I was hesitant but figured this would be a good time to let her express her anger at me or we could work things out where we dont have to speak but we have finally come to peace.

She told me to drive 45 minutes away to a target even though I was already 5 minutes away from our original target meeting place. I was agitated but did it anyway. As I pull up, i see MY friend walk out of target and get in V car. Thats why she changed the location. I was basically a 3rd wheel to their friendship, and they thought it would be funny for me to walk with them and be uncomfortable. I was in the car with them. I told them to drop me off at my car since they wanted to go to the beach at 1130 at night. I got in my car and went home. I blocked both of them because I dont need friends like that in my life. Her mom would always text her to be home at a certain time and she never was home by that time. She once told me she didnt have a curfew as she was at my house till 3am but later found out her mom wanted her home at 11. And she lied about having a miscarriage.

EDIT: She invited me to target with me not knowing that my friend who had became friends with her was going to be there. She gave me the impression that it was just gonna be us. As we drove around, I sat in the back seat just not talking because it was so awkward and she kept making comments about me like I wasn't even in the back seat.

I (24f) and my bf (25m) have been together for 8 years now. I know…. But I am having issues with our disagreements and don’t really know what to do. I can’t help but feel that the arguments are very much over very dumb things. Now I do try to not just dismiss my partners feelings and I try to see things from another view but I am starting to kind of get exhausted at this point. For example, today I deep cleaned the kitchen and threw away all the half drunken waters in the fridge and of course other things that weren’t being eaten. A lot of times my bf will leave half drunken waters and empty bottles/ paper cups in the fridge instead of just throwing them out, so I assumed this was the case here and threw them out. We still however have plenty of other fresh waters he can have. He called me on his way home and told me that he wanted the last flavored one and to not drink it and I said ok and politely asked if he can make sure he drinks it all and if he doesn’t to put it where he remembers that it’s his bc I threw the others (opened ones) out while cleaning. He then says why did I throw it out and that he just opened it 2 days ago and was going to drink it. I then said “oh my bad well I done threw them out now, they’re in the trash”. And then he says “ I am just so rude and nasty” and didn’t even think to call and ask he was he going to drink them.

TL;DR: Long story short he now has blown this up into a whole argument of me being inconsiderate and rude over throwing away the half drunken waters. He ignores me and expects me to come to him and try to “make it right” by apologizing and pleading with him (even though I’m sure he’s going to ignore me and say he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say) I really just don’t understand why this is a battle that he feels is worth fighting and going so hard for. I already apologized for throwing them out but I can’t just go take them out of the garbage. I did get frustrated and raise my tone a bit because he kept hanging up in my face and saying that I said he was “doing too much” which I did not even say… we have other little arguments just over stuff like this. Wonder if it is anything I can do differently?

Am I crazy?

I am 23 years old and I live with my friend. We have known each other for a long time, have always been quite close, communicated well, and trusted each other.

Recently, she asked to borrow my computer because hers broke down and she urgently needed to do some work. I agreed but asked her to be as careful as possible since she doesn't always treat her own things responsibly.

I also explained that there is a project on the laptop that I have been working on for a long time, and I asked her not to touch anything there.She was supposed to return it that same evening but wrote to me saying she would keep it for a few days.

It was inconvenient for me, but I agreed to wait. However, even after a few days, I still hadn't received the laptop.

When I called her and asked her to bring it urgently, she said it was stolen and that she was afraid to tell me right away. According to her, it happened in a cafe, and the police said it would be hard to find it.

I was very furious; I don't believe it was stolen. In the past, she has already lost her phone and keys, and she admitted herself that she often just loses things.

I asked her to compensate for the cost of the laptop since I need it for work that I have to submit, and which, by the way, was also on it. She refused and called me petty.

AITJ

I usually wouldn’t make a big deal of something small, but i’m infuriated, so, who cares? I am a 16 year old in high school and just want to get my story out. One day at lunch, i headed to the washroom, obviously to use the washroom. it didn’t take long for me to walk in and see nearly 10 kids just hanging out. I thought nothing of it at the time, but that should’ve been my first red flag. Anyway, i went into the stall and started doing my business. After about 5 seconds, the kids started doing stupid things. Long story short, a few seconds later, they start banging on the stall, kicking it, all as a simple joke. Now, before you guys judge me, 2 things. 1, yes, i know it was a prank. 2, the story’s not done, so go get some popcorn. in this situation, I decided I wasn’t gonna be the reason why 10 kids could have a laugh about something so genuinely stupid. so I got on my phone and started recording an audio message. Yes, phones aren’t allowed in school. I’m aware. But just think to yourself, what would you feel like if you were me? After about a minute, I stopped recording. I exited the stall and literally all of the kids that were originally in the washroom had already left. So I washed my hands, got out of there, and went to administration. I told them what happened and played the audio message to them. They listened to it for about 15 seconds and then said that I could pause it. I don’t know what happened, but to me, it felt like they felt like I was in the wrong for recording. They told me to give them my phone as confiscation, and I didn’t put up a fight. They said they would have a talk with all kids that were involved. Fast-forward to the end of the day, everyone is starting to pack up when I get pulled into the hallway by the vice principal. she forces me to delete the recording and tells me that I should not have recorded myself literally getting bullied in the form of comedy. Blah blah blah, I get my phone back and I go back into the classroom. Then one of the kids that was involved in pranking me, who is also in my class, has the audacity to ask if I got suspended. In my head, I think to myself. “is he seriously asking me if I got suspended after he pranked me?“ I didn’t even talk to this kid so I just walked to my desk and started talking to one of my friends. After a while of the kid‘s mouth not closing, I decided to just tell him. “No. I did not.” I can already tell right after I post this, I’m going to get backlash from the angry redditors who live for arguing. So now that you heard my story, tell me, am I the jerk?

Update on my post yesterday .

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheJerk/s/xDy3QZ4gGw

I called my SIL . She said she wouldn’t trust a newborn with MIL either and smoking is the least of the problems . She said their mom has been homeless basically and has been living with her friend . She is being kicked out because she broke the smoking rule repeatedly and her friend is furious . She suspected that’s the reason she suddenly offered to move in with us and pretended it’s to take care of my wife and the baby is she needs a place to stay .

I told my wife and she got mad at me for calling her sister to “bitch about her mom get reassurance about my paranoia”. She did call her mom and her sister was right. Her mom said she has no place to go and she promised to smoke outside only and take good care of my wife . I told my wife that this woman has never been there for you or your sister ! She missed our wedding because her POS bf of her at the time didn’t like long flights ! How could she possibly trust her? She said she feels so bad for her that she was homeless and she wants to mend their broken relationship. She said her mom was so sincere and really excited to be a grandmother. I told her no! She started screaming and left for work . I’m going to ask her sister to help me out as she fully agrees with me .

I'm wondering if I was out of line by blocking her

Reposting with more info if you recognize this post!

I lived with this person for two years. I was essentially forced to move in October 2025 because she moved due to not liking the third roommate. She was the primary leaseholder, and when a leaseholder leaves in that building, everyone has to also.

The situation caused me so much stress, because I was afraid I wouldn't find a place. I was getting headaches, etc, and spent time touring places that I would have otherwise spent on other things. I also paid for a renter's insurance policy, new license, etc. Feels like it doesn't make sense to move again so soon.

My current lease is month to month, and the landlord would prefer a year's commitment from the tenants. I moved in October, and feel like it would be weird to move back in with the person who forced me to move out.

The former roommate did ask me if I was interested in living with her again, and I said I was open to relocating again, but this seems so fast. I didn't think she meant now. I thought maybe she meant in a year.

And I'm wondering why she's leaving this new place of hers so soon. Also: She told me she's touring the building that I was forced to move out of! This seems crazy. I wonder if the people she was living with asked her to move out? Also she suggested I move in with her into a 1 bed 1 bath, and I take the living room and she takes the bedroom.

I decided to block her on Facebook and her phone number. Probably for the best. By the way, this is another story, but she was also taken to small claims court by the third roommate last sprint. She had collected a "security deposit" from me and the the third roommate, when there wasn't one required. She claimed she was reimbursing the person(s) who moved out, but turns out she pocketed the money. She only returned the money after the judge ordered her to. Not when she was caught pocketing it. Couldn't she have given it back and said sorry it was a misunderstanding or something?

TL;DR

I 26F have a cousin named Mary 28F. We both dont have a close connection with eachother due to the fact that her father disowned her in her teenage years for catching her vape and drink.

I introduced Mary this guy named Jeff 27F. They later got together after a few weeks. Now this is where it gets kind of messy. I found out a week after that they broke up because Mary was talking to multiple guys at the time they were dating. I reached out to Jeff and Mary about what happened, Jeff told me that she got mad about him asking her not to say that she was going to kill herself.

Therefore Mary got mad and refused to talk to him. He later found out that she was talking to multiple other men. When i reached out to Mary, instead of talking to me she consistently left me on read and refused to answer me. After a month or two me and Jeff started getting closer since we bonding over our love of games and culture. I hate to admit it but i was starting to fall inlove with him since we called daily now. Me and Jeff later got together after 2 months.

Someone then told Mary that we were now dating and accused me of betraying “girl code”. I often felt bad because she texted me often saying “ i thought we were closer than this” and “i just didnt know you were like that”. Fast forward a year, she added me on social media saying that she wanted to reconnect since we were still family. Saying that she would forgive me since she didnt care anymore. So, AITJ?

My mom, sister, and dad basically do nothing in the house while I am stuck cleaning the dishes and taking out the trash, and cleaning the bathroom by myself everyday and my mom claims all the time that "she doesn't have to clean since she pays the bills and cooks" but the thing is that I am the only one cleaning and that I feel stressed and tired from worrying abt multiple afterschool activities and homework to worry but the second I get home she reminds of my chores for the day and gives me an hour to rest first.

My sister never gets anything told to her and slides by all the time and gets to go out with her friends while with me, if I miss one grease spot I'll get scolded and a lecture the entire time. I tell them how unfair their behavior is and they act like I'm overreacting and basically say I dont even know what stress is yet. They believe my problems aren't real and act upon them the same way.

Am I the Jerk?

I (26f) have a family member who's giving birth soon. I want be there but can't. We live a few hours from each other. I been admitted to the hospital several times this year. Im still dealing with them and on medical equipment just to get through the day. I also have all day appointment on the day she goes to the hospital. I would have to cancel it if i can get there. Also would have to pack everything plus medical equipment. I dont want to burden her or her bf when shes about to give birth.I love her and im struggling with not being there. We may not be the closest. Im praying she will be okay. Its also hard to talk to her because she always thinks i don't care or she's easily aggravated by my voice. AITJ for not being there?

TDLR: Am I the jerk not being at the hospital with my sister?

I 18m can only use it for school which I don't even have anymore cause I'm a senior and we end early, work, and some other things if I really need to drive.

I don't see the point in me having a car if I can't go where ever I want with it. What if I want to drive around, get food, or go somewhere fun?

I just think these restrictions are stupid and what is he going to do when I leave for college? Cause then he can't police what I do with my car. AITJ?