r/AmITheJerk

My sister is getting married in late November and has been going way over budget. A few weeks ago she asked if she could put the $2,300 venue deposit on my credit card because hers was maxed out. I said no.

Apparently she still had my card saved from when I ordered something on her laptop last Christmas.

Last week I noticed a $2,300 charge from an event venue I had never heard of. I called the venue thinking my card had been stolen. They pulled up the booking and immediately said my sisters name.

I was furious. I disputed it and had the card replaced.

I didn't tell her.

Two days later she called me absolutely freaking out because the venue emailed saying the deposit payment had been reversed and her date wouldn't be held unless she paid again within 48 hours.

She has some money saved but apparently it was supposed to be for the honeymoon, so now she either has to use that or potentially lose the venue.

She figured out what happened and called me saying I deliberately tried to ruin her wedding and that I should've given her a chance to pay me back before disputing it.

My parents agree she had no right to use my card, but they also think letting her panic for two days was cruel and that I should've warned her immediately.

I don't feel that bad about it. She didn't warn me before spending $2,300 of my money after I had already told her no.

AITJ?

TL;DR: Sister used my saved credit card for a $2,300 wedding venue deposit after I explicitly told her she couldn't. I disputed the charge without telling her and let her think she might lose the venue.

so starting the story my family got a farm in march of this year that we are not living in yet the house needs work to be done on it. but today me and my mom were just getting back to the farm to drop off hay we see a car park off to the side next to one of the pasture on the property, and after we parked I go to check the car out right when I’m walking up I see a guy and little girl I’m guessing was a grandfather and his grandkid I asked hi can I help you he said were here to see the horses, I said this private property and he asked me if we can see the horses I told him I have to leave, he said ok turn around left i did check to sure that they were gone I did have a pocket knife with me just in cas,and I didn’t have my other personal protection if you know what I mean and yes we do have security cameras signs and private property no trespassing signs up along with security cameras plus I do own a horse that I didn’t want vet bill if anything happened and my mom owns horses too she probably has that same reason as me and I just want to make sure that all the animals are safe and especially when we are living there full time I don’t what to do?

as a side note for everyone say if my horse was fed something that would make him sick or me having to call the vet to come out and possibly being stuck with a possible 500 plus dollar vet bill depending on what the vet has to do potentially having to my horse down to

Basically I had a lot of cardboard and I put it all in the recycling pin and it is over half full. Trash pickup isn't for 6 days, and I live with 5 other people. I should have disposed if it gradually but I didn't and now I don't want to get my stuff out of the bin and save it for a week because it's gross. How big of a jerk am I for this?

Me (F25) and my husband (M28) moved out of my parent’s place after about 6 months of being married. We decided to move to a college town that my husband had lived in for a few years prior to our marriage. i visited the area with him before staying with my parents for a while and loved the scenery at the time; the closeness of the beach, traffic was bearable, and the general vibe was nice. my husband also introduced me to a friend of his (M26) who, at the time, was nice and respectful, but as we understand with first impressions they don’t always hold true regarding the character of a person.

Before we moved back into this college town, we had asked our friend for help as a cosigner on our lease. at the time i had no job and my husband had the opportunity to doordash with a stable income flow in the college town as opposed to when we lived with my parents. Our friend has a stable job that helped even out the financial requirements (2 1/2 months worth of rent) to secure the apartment and was willing to help us. overtime as we were preparing for the move, he talked to me and my husband about moving in, since his name was on the lease and he didn’t want to renew his previous lease once it ended. As much as we wanted our own time as a newly married couple and the initial plan was to take him off the lease once we move in, we also empathized with our friend and his situation.

To give some clarity on the details of our (former) friend, he has Asperger’s and ADHD, while also being a very traumatized adult/kid in his younger years. he has trust issues, was coddled as a child by his parent(s) and even still until he was 24 and counting. He also had issues with saving and flaunted his finances around for leisure and helping people who don’t need the money, which was something me and my husband had discussed with him often. At the time of meeting him for the first time, he showed himself as being more mature mentally and emotionally, and we never saw him as being incapable of anything. He is a very hard worker and very detailed, thorough and organized. My husband met him at the same student housing complex that he lived in, which also played a part in our decision to help him: terrible management, terrible roommates, mold in places you wouldn’t expect, roaches etc you get the idea. after further discussion of boundaries and expectations, we allowed him to stay on the lease.

The first 3 months of being in our new apartment were great. We had no issues with our friend, he was finishing out his lease at student housing and we spent time getting to know him and his family better. the issues, unfortunately, started when our friend got a puppy and brought him over to our apartment. to clarify, the issue was never the puppy, it was our friend/roommate’s behavior towards his puppy: Neglectfulness in spending time with his puppy, irregular feeding routines, irregular sleep routines, not training his puppy and relying on everyone else to do the work for him. the months that followed were nothing short of unbearable. No matter the advice we gave him, the effort we put in for his puppy, his behavior showed he couldn’t care less about his pet unless he spent more time with others and ignored himself. It’s funny what attention and proper care does to an animal, but I digress.

as the months got worse, we took matters into our own hands and filed an anonymous noise complaint, thinking it would solve the issue since our roommate believed none of our neighbors would complain about his puppy; a hypocritical statement on his part knowing he made it a habit of opening the apartment door at times to yell explicit remarks at barking dogs or crying babies in neighboring apartments, which took at least 7 times for my husband to tell him to stop before he acknowledged his request. needless to say, this didn’t resolve his negligence. meals were skipped, dog walks were ignored and made excuses for, and to top it all off he became more crude and nasty in discussions with him regarding day to day life. We finally broke and gave an ultimatum: give us complete ownership of his dog, or two other familial options to give his dog to. We stated that our friendship with him is breaking due to the way he treats his puppy and how often he puts responsibility of his puppy onto me and my husband, while also stating our intentions regarding ownership of his dog had nothing to do with wanting to take him, but everything to do with giving his dog the best life that he himself refused to give his dog over the span of 7 months. He gave his dog to a family member of his and needless to say, his puppy now lives his best life; no skipped meals, time spent with family (he still neglects his dog and doesn’t make the effort to visit his dog), he’s housebroken etc.

Matters continued getting worse since his puppy left. Our roommate became more secretive, kept to himself, lied to us and his family, and didn’t stop inserting perverted remarks and ideas in conversation even after telling him to stop. his family had asked my husband to look through his medication bottle to make sure he took his meds, since his family suspected he wasn’t taking them properly and to our disbelief, he hadn’t been taking them properly, if at all. a week passed, and he became more distant and continued lying until we left for an early vacation to house sit for my parents. while me and my husband have been here, our roommate asked to call and talk to us and became avoidant even on the topic of calling to talk. My husband, justified in his frustration, called his behavior out and expressed how he felt things were between us and him. he stated he would call in the morning after, to only be found with my husband being blocked on everything by him. I myself wasn’t blocked until i tried calling, as he though it was my husband using my phone when it was me calling, and thankfully not on every platform to talk some sense and reason into him.

Although my husband ran out of chances with his now former friend, I wanted to give one more chance and messaged stating that i want to try and understand why he is behaving the way he has been, to only be lied to more, my husband being called a dictator and somehow my husband was “playing god with his life” and trying to make himself appear as an “underdog hero that was taking the blows while he was there and now it would be on me” since he decided to move out after all of this. Both me and my husband made attempts to help him save and stop giving away money to those who don’t need it, tried showing how he can take care of his dog, enforced boundaries established from day one, and we cared about his health and tried to help navigate his extreme caffeine intake (nearly 1k+ mg of caffeine daily), but no middle ground was found and I was blocked moments after laying down reason on the table. Not only did he move out, but we held him to it. His family also stated to us they understand our situation and empathized with us more than our former roommate.

TL;DR Former Friend/Roommate doesn’t like to be told what to do when its for his own benefit and called my husband a manipulative dictator when we were trying to help him with saving money, treat his dog better, and take care of his health.

Edit: His lease for the student apartment was going to expire on July. We let him move in early in April so he lived with us 3 months earlier without having to split rent with us until his lease ended. regarding the help with securing the lease, we only asked him to be a cosigner due to the 2 1/2 month rent requirement. a lot of apartments allow the primary lease holder (my husband) to put someone on as a cosigner to secure the apartment and take the cosigner off with consent. we’ve been in the apartment since December, former roommate moved in with us in April (rent free as mentioned) he paid rent in July-August and that was it from him. the roommates he had from student housing would steal from him so we let him move in earlier than initially agreed upon due to his other lease.

Me (18) and my aunt (70) both take goofy and just god awful pictures of each other all time. Recently I just printed out some more photos for my corkboard in my bedroom. The board is covered in a variety of photos and memorabilia. In the prints I printed out two photos of my aunt, one of her sleeping and one of her in the 0.5 perspective.

When I was showing her the photos I printed out she became extremely upset. She had snatched the photos out of my hand and threaten to rip them up. I took them back and told her not to worry since they were just for my room. She insisted that I was being mean for keeping the photos and that she hated my behavior.

For the past couple hours she was hostile with me; for example, when I asked to show her my corkboard she sternly said no and would continue to lecture me on how I was being mean and that she would never keep a bad photo of me.

What should I do? Should I keep the photos on my corkboard or should I throw them away in respect of her?

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I (F) have a guy friend who treated me like an actual friend when he was single. We talked, hung out, joked around, and he made it very clear that our friendship mattered to him.

Then he got a girlfriend, and apparently my value as a friend expired overnight.

Suddenly, the communication changed. The effort disappeared. The warmth disappeared. Everything that was completely normal before became awkward, distant, or apparently something he needed to avoid.

And honestly? I find the whole thing insulting.

I never asked him to prioritize me over his girlfriend. I never tried to interfere with their relationship. I never crossed some imaginary line. I understood that his relationship should come first.

But apparently “having a girlfriend” means you can completely change how you treat people who were there before her and then act like they’re unreasonable for noticing.

What really gets me is that he didn’t have the courage to actually communicate. No honest conversation. No “I need to establish some boundaries.” No “Things are going to change because I’m in a relationship.”

Instead, he just changed his behavior and apparently expected me to sit there quietly and accept being downgraded.

I’m not competing with his girlfriend.

I’m opting out of a friendship where I apparently only mattered when he was single.

If your solution to getting into a relationship is to treat your friends like embarrassing evidence of your single life that needs to be hidden, then maybe you weren’t that good of a friend to begin with.

And before anyone says I’m jealous: No. I’m offended.

There is a massive difference between respecting someone’s relationship and accepting disrespect from someone who suddenly decided you’re expendable.

TLDR: Am I the jerk for deciding that I’m not going to chase someone for the friendship THEY changed?

Because if he can suddenly act like I’m nobody, I’m perfectly capable of returning the favor.

He got a girlfriend. I got my answer about where I stand.

I asked a friend if he wanted to play a new game together when it came out, and he said of course. We were talking a bit throughout the week how excited we were. Then when the day came, he told me 30 minutes before that he was actually going to play with a couple other friends because they just asked him.

In the grand scheme, it's not a huge deal, but it did feel kind of shitty in the moment. I told him it was fine but wasn't in a great mood and he must have picked up on it, because he then said "sorry I make you feel bad just by existing"

To me it's clear what he did that upset me (making plans and then ditching for others) yet he's phrasing it like I am just mad for no reason. He didn't even make an effort to create new plans, it's been weeks and we haven't played. AITJ?

I’m going to start this by admitting something that probably isn’t going to make me look great: I’m fatphobic.
I grew up with a very fatphobic mother, and I absorbed a lot of that. I’ve been judgmental about obesity and people’s food choices for most of my life. I’m aware of it, and I’m trying to recognize when that bias is influencing how I see people.

The irony is that I’m also obese.
I’m 25 and 5 feet tall. After having my children, I eventually reached 251 lbs. I started actively working on my health in January and I’m currently around 220 lbs and plan to keep going.

I’ve also used weight-loss medication, so I want to make one thing VERY clear from the beginning: I have absolutely no problem with weight-loss medication. I don’t think it’s cheating. I don’t think people should have to “earn” medication by losing weight naturally first. I actually WANT my MIL to take it.
My issue is everything surrounding it.

My MIL is also around 5 feet tall and, if I had to estimate, somewhere between 400–500 lbs. I’ve been with my husband for seven years, and throughout our entire relationship she has complained about her weight.
She previously wanted bariatric surgery but wasn’t able to get it because of insurance issues. She has talked about wanting to lose weight countless times.
But she seems completely unwilling to change the way she eats.

She describes herself as an extremely picky eater. She’s so picky that during holidays and family gatherings, other family members will sometimes make an entirely separate meal specifically for her because she won’t eat what everyone else is having.

She eats a lot of very calorie-dense, heavily processed foods. Think enchilada casserole, King Ranch chicken, broccoli-and-cheese casserole with lots of Velveeta, canned and processed ingredients, etc.
She eats very few vegetables unless they’re covered in cheese or incorporated into something like that.
She also basically refuses to drink water.
And I’m going to be completely transparent: I judge her for it.

I’m not sitting across the table having perfectly compassionate, neutral thoughts about her food choices. Sometimes I’m watching her eat while thinking, How can you constantly complain about your weight and then continue eating like this?

Her husband has diabetes and over the last couple of years has started taking his health much more seriously. He’s lost a significant amount of weight and has repeatedly tried to get her to eat healthier with him.
She refuses.

My husband and I have tried encouraging her too. She’ll sometimes decide she’s going to make healthier choices, do it for a couple of days, and then go right back to her normal habits.

Recently something happened that made this much more emotional for me.

We were at my niece’s outdoor birthday party, and my MIL became dangerously overheated and had a heat-related medical scare. She had to leave the party and go home.
It scared us.

There are also three little grandchildren involved. My husband and I have two young children, and my SIL has a two-year-old. The kids absolutely adore their grandma. My oldest especially has become incredibly close to her, and losing her grandma would absolutely devastate her.
After the incident, my husband and I again encouraged MIL to take her health more seriously.

She lives about four hours away, so she drove home.
The very next day, she went to a soul-food buffet.
She then joked that she had eaten a vegetable because she ate broccoli…covered in cheese.

Then, a couple of days later, we all went out to eat together. She ordered two appetizers plus her entrée.
Meanwhile, she’s planning to start Wegovy.
And again: GOOD.

I genuinely hope she takes it. I hope it works amazingly for her. If medication can help her lose a significant amount of weight and improve her health, I’m completely supportive of that.

My frustration is that she seems to view the medication as the entire solution rather than a tool that can help her make sustainable changes.

I’m not expecting her to suddenly survive on grilled chicken and salad. I’m not expecting her to become a fitness influencer. I’m not saying she can never have Velveeta or eat at a buffet again.

But drink some water. Find a few vegetables you actually enjoy. Reduce your portions. Try some less processed foods. Let your husband make healthier meals for both of you. Make some changes.

And there’s another layer to this that makes me question whether my reaction is really about her health as much as I tell myself it is.

I resent the relationship with food that my husband grew up with.

I met my husband when I was 18.
Before him, my diet and lifestyle were completely different. I was an athlete. At home I mostly ate things like chicken and vegetables. Fast food wasn’t something we regularly ate.

Then I started living with my husband.
I was 18, I barely knew how to cook, and suddenly I was trying to figure out how to feed two people.

My husband had very particular tastes. He had grown up eating lots of processed foods, heavy casseroles, cheese, fatty foods and fast food, with very few vegetables.
Those foods weren’t “bad choices” to him. They were just normal food because that’s what he’d grown up eating.
So I adapted.

Instead of really learning how to cook the foods I’d grown up eating, I learned how to make things he liked. We started eating significantly more fast food because it was easy and because he liked it.
Then I got pregnant at 18.
Convenience won a LOT.

Over the years, his normal gradually became our normal.
I went through two pregnancies, became a mother, and somewhere along the way I gained around 100 lbs.
I know that’s ultimately my responsibility.

My husband didn’t force-feed me. My MIL certainly didn’t. I’m an adult, and I’m responsible for what I put into my own body.

But I also don’t think it’s realistic to pretend our environments and the people we build our lives with don’t influence our habits—especially when you’re 18, pregnant, learning how to cook and figuring out adulthood at the same time.

And my husband learned his relationship with food somewhere too.

He grew up eating the way his mother eats.
So, if I’m being completely honest, I blame my husband for some of my weight gain.
And I blame his mother too.
Probably more than I have a right to.

There’s a part of me that looks at her and thinks, You raised your son to eat this way. I married him at 18, adapted to the way he ate, and now I’m having to unlearn it.

I’m 25 now. I work a demanding corporate job, I have a six-year-old and a one-year-old, and I work about an hour away from my house.

I actually LOVE healthy food.
My problem isn’t that I’d rather eat fast food than vegetables. My problem is time.

Cooking dinner after working all day, commuting and taking care of two small children is exhausting. Finding time to exercise is difficult too, and I don’t particularly enjoy exercising.

But I’m trying.

I started at 251 lbs in January and I’m currently around 220.

I’m taking medication to help me.
I’m trying to make better food choices. I’m trying to exercise. I’m trying to make cooking healthier meals work within my schedule. I’m trying to change the environment in my own house instead of just focusing on the number on the scale.

And I think that’s why watching my MIL bothers me as much as it does.

When I watch her eat, I’m not just looking at her food anymore.

I’m looking at the eating habits my husband grew up with.
I’m looking at habits that eventually became part of my own household.

I’m looking at the 100 lbs I’m now trying to lose.
And I’m looking at my daughters and thinking, this stops here.

But there’s another problem with that thought.
I don’t want to pass my family’s dysfunction down to them either.

I grew up with fatphobia. I know what it’s like to have body size moralized. I don’t want my daughters growing up terrified of becoming fat or believing that someone’s body determines their worth.

So I’m trying to figure out how to break BOTH cycles.
I don’t want to teach them that vegetables are disgusting, water is optional, fast food is an everyday meal and ultra-processed food should be the default.

But I also don’t want to teach them that cheese is “bad,” fat people are disgusting, gaining weight is a moral failure, or that they should feel guilty every time they eat something unhealthy.

I want them to understand that food can be delicious, convenience foods are fine sometimes, their bodies don’t determine their worth, and taking care of those bodies still matters.

Which brings me back to my MIL.

Some of my feelings genuinely come from fear.
I love her. My husband loves her. My children absolutely adore her. Watching her have a health scare was frightening, and the thought of my oldest losing her grandma at a young age breaks my heart.
I want Wegovy to work for her.

But some of my feelings aren’t nearly as noble.

I’m judging her.
I’m frustrated.
I’m resentful.

There’s a part of me thinking, I’m exhausted too. I don’t have time either. I don’t enjoy exercising either. I’m using medication too. But I’m still trying to change.
And there’s an even uglier part of me that looks at her and sees the lifestyle I’m desperately trying to get myself and my family away from.

I know she isn’t responsible for my body.
I know my husband isn’t responsible for my body.
I know she’s an adult and I’m not responsible for hers either.

But sometimes, fairly or unfairly, I look at my MIL, look at the habits I’m trying to undo in myself and my household, and think:

This started with you.

So AITJ for judging my MIL’s eating habits and resenting her for the unhealthy relationship with food that I feel like I married into, even though I know I’m ultimately responsible for my own choices and that some of my feelings are rooted in my own fatphobia?

TL;DR: I’m obese and actively working on my own health after gaining 100 lbs, but I’m struggling with resentment toward my 400+ lb MIL, who has complained about her weight for years while refusing to change her eating or hydration habits. I support her starting Wegovy, but I’m realizing I judge her partly because my husband grew up with those same eating habits, I adopted many of them after we got together at 18, and I’m now trying to break that cycle in my own family while acknowledging that my weight is ultimately my responsibility.

Am I the jerk for calling my older half sibling from my dad and telling him I've cut them off? I'm 28M, he is 46. He's very successful and was a role model growing up. Especially as a young boy. He never had any issues with me. I always knew I had a cool, successful and handsome brother who lived in the coolest places in the world etc

It all changed when he got married to his wife. His wife hates my dad's family with a passion and disdain. And oddly for me as well. Which I never understood as a child. She just gave cold vibes.

My brother who would home and gather everyone at home and organize a dinner at restaurant and make sure I was no part of it I remember being excited thinking, wow we're all going out. Then I just saw everyone leave and I was left alone in the house. The over and over it happened and I saw it weird. When I was about 13 years old, we were living with my cousin who we brought to live with us because he was orphan to be with us, my mom and dad. I was so happy to finally have a new brother. He was a bit older and he was so cool.

Then his behavior changed and he started bullying me in our room, calling me names like dog, teasing me and kicking me and beating me. I would tell my folks but they never believed me. It got so bad that my cousin would refuse to eat my mom's food after some time and I saw it weird.

I was a big Chelsea fan and everyone knew it. I had been asking my dad and even my brother if when he was back he could get me a Chelsea jersey. Time goes by and my cousin goes to visit my brother in house across the country. I have never set a foot there nor even have a relationship with his kids because they came only once on Christmas or sometimes never. Jiki, jiki, my cousin comes home wearing a Chelsea jersey with my favorite players name. The one I asked for. Cool.

So my brother is living way across the world and invites my dad to come over to have a holiday. But only has room for two. So he asked my dad and my cousin to come. Always saw it weird because my parents were basically together for decades.

He purposely would exclude me or outright not even make an attempt to talk to me for years until I was in university, second year. I was now 19/20. We'd speak every 6 months or so and it felt like a formality.

Basically, my half siblings from my dad hate me and see me as illegitimate and this ONE sibling, was behind all of it. He was the one feeding my cousin to bully me and resent my mom growing up.

And you know what, I'm good. I called him, I was drunk and something said, you need to confront him now while you have the fire because you will probably never see this guy again and even when you do, it will be the same fake shit. At least let him know what you think of him. The guy couldn't care less. And you know, I feel bad for talking to him like that but my other siblings treat him like God because he has money and plays games with their lives and making them submit to him.

I don't want nor need love from bro, but I love to address things. The mistreatment which filled me with such shame growing up, that I was a bastard and illegitimate caused me so much pain and the fact it was done my the guy I believed in the most really did hurt. And I was through with acting like everything is good.

Everyone in the family is talking about it and the other siblings, who don't have the heart to say it to him, are acting like I didn't say the truth. They were all thinking it and deep down, I'm right. All my half siblings disdain me but somehow still keep close to my mom who is now married to my dad.

Basically, yeah. Am I wrong for feeling like I did something out of line or was I right to say something? We haven't spoke since. We hadnt interacted in 2 yeats before that call either....

When my dad passes one day in the far future, I will never keep up tbh. I don't have any of my siblings numbers anyway.

I wish I could confront him face to face but atp, I've said all that needs to be said?

TLDR: Called him and addressed the bullshit he used to do and now I'm good on him as a person.

I (f) do wear makeup everyday or most days to school, and my dad always have comments to say about it how I look 60 or say it will mess up my skin.

Today I came back from school annoyed because I had to listen to my mom scold my sister in the car, then I come home and my dad is picking on my makeup again

So I told him it’s my body and my choice he should be happy I’m just doing my makeup, while my sister in Africa probably sleeping around

(context my dad had an affair so I have siblings in Africa, I never met them or know their names)

Then he got upset but I barely felt bad because he always pick to bully someone in the house and he’s kinda a bum in a way, but my mom got upset at me for talking back to him instead of sitting there quietly.

So am I the jerk?

tl;dr - I told my dad that he should not worry about my makeup but instead of his daughter in Africa who might be sleeping around

For context, I’m starting makeup artist training in one month. I’ve done her makeup for smaller events two or three times before, but I noticed mistakes each time and wasn’t happy with the results.

Her wedding is in October, and she has asked me twice since spring whether I would do her makeup. I thought it over and ultimately decided not to accept the request for the following reasons:

1. I don’t have a professional makeup kit. So far, I’ve always done makeup using my own products, which I of course disinfected properly.
2. I don’t have professional makeup brushes either. The same applies to them as to the makeup products.
3. I would have to do makeup for multiple people, with different skin types and different personalities, and I simply don’t have the experience or skill set for that yet.
4. There are 100 times more things that can go wrong at a wedding, and I don’t want to be the person blamed if things don’t turn out the way they imagined.
5. My instructor also recommends that I don’t take this on yet. I simply won’t have the necessary level of knowledge and experience by October.

This past weekend, my husband’s family asked me once again to reconsider. I thought about it for three days, but I came to the exact same decision. I’m simply not ready for this.

At the same time, I now feel that I don’t want to do it even more because of the way this situation has been handled. I feel that by not accepting my “no” as an answer, she keeps trying to cross my boundaries and is being disrespectful toward me, and that’s something I’m not okay with.

They are also trying to emotionally pressure me by saying things like, “But she asked you so kindly and lovingly, and this is such a big deal.” Yes, it is a big deal. That’s exactly why I don’t want to take it on.
I recommended some very good makeup artists in our area to her, but she wants me to do it for free.

It also bothers me that, this time, they went behind my back and asked my husband to try to convince me (those were literally his words, and I’m not exaggerating). Why can’t they just come to me directly and ask me?

I find it really difficult because I already often feel like they don’t consider me part of their family. This situation may not have confirmed that feeling, but it has definitely made me start questioning it all over again.

TL;DR: I said no to doing my sister-in-law’s wedding makeup because I’m not trained or experienced enough yet, and my instructor agrees. Despite that, her family keeps pressuring me to change my mind, even involving my husband behind my back. It’s made me feel like my boundaries aren’t being respected, and honestly, I don’t want to do it even more now.

We have been friends for about 7 years now and sat in class together almost all of the time. One thing to know about him is that he is not fully aware like other people our age. I don't mean to deem him as slow, matter of fact he is smarter than me on some topics but i find it weird how he STILL posts tiktok videos about testing filters and still typing in broken english

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Anyways this year we had the most important exam of our grade and i kinda fucked up. He had 45 entire points more. And i congratulated him but really didn't want to discuss that topic at all for some time. However he didn't seem to listen and constantly asked me questions like "Which school do you plan on going to? " or "Did your parents get mad at you? " i told him again that i didn't really want to talk about that but he didn't even seem to care a bit.

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And so today is his birthday and he celebrates it tomorrow. When he asked me to come i told him that i had to be somewhere else on the 20th and that i couldn't come. Still don't know how to feel about this.

My roommate and I moved into an apartment earlier this year. Rent is $2,400 total and from the start we agreed we'd each pay $1,200.

When we signed the lease, the landlord offered a discount if several months were paid upfront. I had enough money saved to do it, so I paid my half upfront and got around $900 knocked off what I would normally owe for the year.

I never mentioned the discount to my roommate because our original agreement was still $1,200 each and the discount only happened because I was willing to put a pretty big chunk of my own money down at once.

He found out a few days ago when he logged into our tenant portal to submit a maintenance request. Apparently the portal shows the full payment history for the apartment, and he noticed a credit on the account from when I paid upfront. He asked me what it was and I told him.

Now he thinks the $900 should basically be divided between us because it's a discount on the apartment, not on me personally.

My argument is that he didn't want to pay anything upfront and I was the one tying up my savings for months. If I hadn't done that there would've been no discount at all.

At the same time I kinda understand why he's annoyed because we're technically not paying the same amount for the apartment anymore even though we agreed to split rent evenly.

He says I should knock $450 off his rent over the next few months. I told him no.

AITJ?

TLDR: My roommate and I agreed to split rent evenly. I used my saved money to pay several months upfront and got a discount, but didn't split that discount with him. He found out through our tenant portal and thinks I owe him half.

I 26F help care for my brother “Leo” 16M. Over the summer, Leo and two friends pooled 1200$ of their earned money to buy commercial gym equipment for football training. They stored it in a friend’s barn with the parents’ permission.

Last week, the friend’s dad “Greg” decided he was tired of the teens coming over. Without warning, he sold all their equipment on Facebook marketplace for 800$ and kept the cash, calling it an “unpaid storage fee”

When we asked for the 800$ so the boys could replace their gear, Greg laughed in our faces and dared us to hire a lawyer over 800$.

Since legal action wasn’t realistic, Sam’s mom and i posted the purchase receipts and screenshots of his marketplace listing on local Facebook groups and Nextdoor. Because Greg owns a prominent local business, the post blew up, and neighbors are leaving terrible reviews for his business.

His wife is now screaming that I’m ruining their family’s livelihood over “cheap junk”

AITAH for exposing him publicly?

I’m F28 my friend F28. I’m planning to move back home, and I currently live over 300 miles away. Because of the distance, i asked someone to view properties for me and sent a clear message explaining exactly what I needed: photos of the rooms and measurements. I also paid for her transport there and back.

She brought her autistic son with her, which I completely understand. I love all of her children.

The problem is that she didn’t actually complete the viewing for me.
I messaged her 3 hours after the viewing for an update. She then sent me;

One photo of her son in the front room
One photo of him running around in the garden
A video of her and her son dancing in the car (which I paid for)
What I didn’t receive:

No kitchen photos
No bedroom photos
No bathroom photos
No hallway photos
No measurements

None of the information I had specifically asked for.
I was really frustrated, especially because I had been very clear beforehand about what I needed. She later acknowledged she had messed up. I’m angry af though kid

EDIT/INFO: To be clear, she didn't just go on her own she attended alongside a realtor (Estate Agent) that I paid for lol. I wanted a personal opinion as I was moving close to my home town. Thanks for everyone's advice.

TL;DR women was mad cause she had to pay for stuff her son broke.

I was in a Wal-Mart working the cash register and this kid was yelling and screaming in line and throwing a fit. The kid looked about 13 to 12 years old. While he was mad he threw a glass item and it broke so I told his mom that they had to pay for the broken jar and she said no that he is a kid and can do what he wants without being punished and I told her she has to pay for the item he broke.

I started to lose my patients and he threw another jar this time with pickles in it and his mother did nothing about it. So I got management and they tried to get her and her son out of the Wal-Mart and she was yelling I'm gonna sue you she screamed about 3 maybe 4 times before. then She fell on the ground claiming the guy trying to get her to leave hit her and she is fake crying and acting like a child finally we had help to get her out of the store before she could do anything. She was forced to pay for the broken items and we cleaned up the mess.

So I went away for a three-day weekend and paid my cousin seventy bucks to house-sit and feed my rough collie. He is a show-line dog with a thick, healthy double coat. Before leaving, I showed her his brushes, his exact food portions, and specifically mentioned that he pants when he sleeps because that is just how collies regulate heat.

sunday evening I get home and my dog meets me at the door looking completely unrecognizable. She literally took him to a random groomer down the road and had him buzzed down to the pink skin with clippers. She smiled and told me she did me a favor because he looked hot and it was ninety degrees outside.

Anyone who owns a double-coated breed knows that shaving them destroys their undercoat, ruins their temperature regulation, and exposes them to severe sunburns and heat stroke. I rushed him to the emergency vet because his skin was already bright red and irritated with razor burn. When I sent her the three-hundred-dollar vet bill and told her she ruined his coat for years, she started crying to our family.

Now my relatives are messaging me saying I am being an ABSOLUTE monster over "just some dog hair" that will grow back anyway. I should of known better than trusting her with basic instructions, but am I really the jerk for refusing to talk to her until she pays for the vet visit?

I (29F) have a car I bought about two years ago. Nothing fancy but I paid for it myself and I take pretty good care of it.

My sister (34F) has two kids and lives around 20 minutes away. I have helped her out plenty of times. School drop offs groceries letting her borrow stuff, whatever. I dont really mind helping family.

But apparently that also means she can just take my car whenever she feels like it.

A few months ago she asked to borrow my car for the weekend because hers was being repaired. I said yes and told her I needed it back Sunday evening because I had work Monday.

She brought it back Monday afternoon.

When I asked why, she said she got busy and forgot. I let it go.

Then last week I woke up and my car was literally gone.

I called my sister and she goes, Oh, I took it. I needed to run some errands.

I asked why she didnt ask me first.

Her response was basically that she knew I was home and figured I wasnt using it.

She took the kids to school, went grocery shopping and stopped at a friend's house. So this wasnt exactly some emergency.

When she finally brought it back, the gas tank was almost empty and there were crumbs and spilled juice all over the back seat.

I told her she cant borrow my car anymore without asking first.

Now Im apparently selfish and weirdly possessive because I wont let my sister use my car whenever she assumes I dont need it.

My mom thinks I should just let it go because she is my sister and she needed it.

But isnt the whole point of borrowing something that you actually ASK before taking it?

AITA for refusing to let my sister borrow my car anymore?
tl;dr: My sister took my car without asking, returned it with almost no gas and a messy back seat, and now she is upset because I said she cant borrow my car anymore without asking first.

I have a fence that is set at least 20 feet off the public road. there are no sidewalks in our neighborhood. sometimes, our dogs will charge the fence and bark at people walking by in the street. this is only somtimes, they do not do it to every single person who walks by. they do go out unattended usually for 30 mins or so at a time.

today a neighbor approached complaining he couldnt walk by because of the dogs. again the fence is set at least 20ft back off the public road and the dogs are contained on my property. we told him to buzz off that they are behind a fence and he is fine. AITA?

see comments for a similar fence photo. fence is a sturdy wood cross buck fence with wire enclosing gaps. comes up to mid chest and the dogs have never gotten out. I am certain they are not jumpers & they are not aggressive breeds

TL;DR dogs bark behind secured fence sometimes at walkers, neighbor upset he cant walk by, fence is at least 20ft back from the public road

TL;DR MIL had a birthday celebration for my son without inviting me or his dad, I don’t want to host a party to include them in my sons birthday anymore.

My son’s birthday is coming up. We normally do one party with both sides of the family. Due to my MILs behaviour at birthday parties the last 3 years, I decided, and my husband agreed, that we wouldn’t invite her this year. I don’t want to feel like I have to manage an adult at a birthday party and I want my son to be able to experience his birthday without being hovered over by grandma. I didn’t want to exclude her completely, or single her out though, so I was planning on having a party with everyone from his side of the family one day, and another party with my side the next day. We told/invited everyone to the one party so they were aware it was happening.

My son and his younger brother slept over at MILs house last night so she could care for them while both my husband and I had to work very early morning shifts. This evening MIL sent a picture of our kids at a restaurant, which is when we found out that they had a birthday dinner for our son, not only with them but they invited other extended family members. Basically everyone who was invited to the party we were having. They never mentioned it beforehand or even invited *either* of us. Normally our work schedules don’t overlap like this, and we were both done work in the late afternoon so we would have been free to go to dinner. I was disappointed and hurt but honestly not surprised because MIL has tried to plan things for our kids and tell us we’re not included before. In the past we have said no outright, or said that we would join in the plans, but this time I guess she slipped it past us.

I ended up telling my husband that I don’t want to have a party for his side of the family anymore, but that I feel bad in case their feelings are hurt. He said he doesn’t really feel like it either, and that I shouldn’t feel bad. He also pointed out that my family would never do something like that, and couldn’t imagine throwing a party for a kid without including their parents. He’s just as upset as me.

My son doesn’t know there were two parties planned and will have a party with my side of the family this weekend anyways, so I’m not concerned about disappointing him by canceling this one. I guess I’m just worried that I will come across as being petty and I get really anxious about potential conflict, but in reality I don’t have any desire to spend my time and money to host a party for people who didn’t even consider including me in my own child’s birthday celebration. Kind of stuck on whether I should cancel or just power through.