I only go to movies 4-5 weeks after the debut to (hopefully) be in a less crowded theatre, but I still get so anxious eating popcorn. I love the taste of theatre popcorn so on the rare chance I go to a movie, I'm usually buying some. But I only want to eat during super loud action scenes because I am very afraid to be too loud chewing or too annoying reaching into my bag :(
I have trouble sticking up for myself, and also I feel unworthy to because I have been a flawed person. The past year I've been very depressed, often breaking down and feeling alone, unsure if I want to continue which is hard to put my boyfriend through.
However, the more I reflect in therapy, I wonder if I've been tolerating unfair treatment from him. A brief summary of his bad behaviors:
For a long time I thought I deserved all of this because I was lucky he overlooked my mental breakdowns, but now I am feeling I don't deserve it and it's not helping my mental health to be poorly treated by him.
I have trouble sticking up for myself, and also I feel unworthy to because I have been a flawed person. The past year I've been very depressed, often breaking down and feeling alone, unsure if I want to continue which is hard to put my boyfriend through.
However, the more I reflect in therapy, I wonder if I've been tolerating unfair treatment from him. A brief summary of his bad behaviors:
For a long time I thought I deserved all of this because I was lucky he overlooked my mental breakdowns, but now I am feeling I don't deserve it and it's not helping my mental health to be poorly treated by him.
I have trouble sticking up for myself, and also I feel unworthy to because I have been a flawed person. The past year I've been very depressed, often breaking down and feeling alone, unsure if I want to continue which is hard to put my boyfriend through.
However, the more I reflect in therapy, I wonder if I've been tolerating unfair treatment from him. A brief summary of his bad behaviors:
Despite this, I still feel it is my fault, and my mental breakdowns are the reason he needs to escape from me. When these hurtful things happen, I try to talk to him but if he ignores me or dismisses me, then I crashout on social media, saying how "no one loves me" and saying I don't want to live anymore, which is very immature of me but it's my way of telling the world I am hurting so deeply that he doesn't care about me. I feel like I am very toxic for this, AITB?
I have trouble sticking up for myself, and also I feel unworthy to because I have been a flawed person. The past year I've been very depressed, often breaking down and feeling alone, unsure if I want to continue which is hard to put my boyfriend through.
However, the more I reflect in therapy, I wonder if I've been tolerating unfair treatment from him. A brief summary of his bad behaviors:
For a long time I thought I deserved all of this because I was lucky he overlooked my mental breakdowns, but now I am feeling I don't deserve it and it's not helping my mental health to be poorly treated by him.
I have trouble sticking up for myself, and also I feel unworthy to because I have been a flawed person. The past year I've been very depressed, often breaking down and feeling alone, unsure if I want to continue which is hard to put my boyfriend through.
However, the more I reflect in therapy, I wonder if I've been tolerating unfair treatment from him. A brief summary of his bad behaviors:
For a long time I thought I deserved all of this because I was lucky he overlooked my mental breakdowns, but now I am feeling I don't deserve it and it's not helping my mental health to be poorly treated by him.
I have trouble sticking up for myself, and also I feel unworthy to because I have been a flawed person. The past year I've been very depressed, often breaking down and feeling alone, unsure if I want to continue which is hard to put my boyfriend through.
However, the more I reflect in therapy, I wonder if I've been tolerating unfair treatment from him. A brief summary of his bad behaviors:
For a long time I thought I deserved all of this because I was lucky he overlooked my mental breakdowns, but now I am feeling I don't deserve it and it's not helping my mental health to be poorly treated by him.
This is where OCD feels like the worst curse. As much as I have my coping strategies, because my ex and our shared friend group were a massive part of my life the past 2 years, I'm struggling to get over it alone. My main worry is: how toxic was I? and did I deserve what happened to me?
My ex and I were friends for 6 months before dating for a little over a year, and it ended in a hurtful way. Long story short, because we met at college and stayed there our first summer, I never picked up on his massive lies. He was an international student, but lied to me the entire relationship about being from our school's country. I knew his parents were immigrants (by his fake story) so his accent made sense to me, since he spoke great English as a second language.
To be clear: him being from another country doesn't bother me one bit, him lying to me about his entire self for almost 2 years does. He lied about so much more, including that he wasn't going to talk to these 2 friends that were mean to me anymore. I told him many times he could if he wanted to, but he insisted standing up for me. Turns out he was talking to them behind my back the entire time. His excuse was "I'm not going to stop talking to them for someone I don't love, I regret nothing" because apparently he fell out of love with me early on.
He was routinely cold to me and it would get me really upset. I would say hurtful things like "I don't feel loved, no one loves me, I don't want to be here anymore" and I know that was extremely toxic of me. As much as I felt mistreated by him, I elevated the hurt for us both by reacting very dramatically and in a way that unintentionally threatened my own safety.
Our mutual friends only saw my reactions, my meltdowns, and not his treatment of me - and since I never wanted to smear campaign against him, they think he did nothing wrong and I was just an emotionally unstable person. They all took his side, and left me alone, and now I overthink this relationship everyday, unsure if I was a terrible person or if he is a manipulator who got away with wronging me. Any advice is really appreciated :( I'm sorry if this is too much reassurance seeking but I feel I don't trust myself anymore after this relationship
I took my best friend for granted, plain and simple. I was extremely insecure, and unwilling to admit I had a problem, and it got to a point of wearing on him so much that he had to step away. I feel horrible for causing this rift between us. In going to therapy the past ~50 days, I have realized how much he was there for me when I kept thinking no one was supporting me.
I completely underappreciated him, and I feel so bad for hurting him that way. We haven't had contact in 50 days, and I'm scared we won't ever talk again. We were close for the past 3 years, talking every day and playing all the same games, watching shows together, sports etc.
I love him so much, and I have thought about making him an art piece to show that I still love him so much, but I am not sure if that would be well received. I may have to accept that he is happier without me, but if there is anything I can do to make it up to him I would want to. I do want to apologize, but I know I would have to get back in contact with him first, and maybe sending him an art thing would reopen the door? What is the best way to reach back out and try to initiate an opportunity for me to apologize?
My bf (m22) and I (m23) are both bisexual, and recent news has me immensely hurt. Early in our relationship, he stopped talking to two of our mutual friends (former for me) because I had a falling out where they were super mean to me. I told him many times I didn't mind if he stayed their friend but he insisted on cutting them off to stick up for me.
I found out for the past 5 months (we've been dating for almost a year) he's been talking to them and hanging out behind my back. These friends are also gay/bi and flirt with him often. It feels disrespectful he let them back in his life without telling me, and his reasoning hurt deep. He said something to the effect of "I am not going to stop talking to people for someone I don't love. I don't regret it at all"
I asked him why he is still with me, and he said "I was hoping to fall for you again but I haven't." On one hand, at least he is honest, on the other, I don't get why he had to do all this stuff behind my back if he knew he didn't love me. And for him to say it so bluntly and cold is breaking my heart. I don't know why he never communicates his feelings until way after :(
This is one of the hardest things for me as an hsp. Loving people and not having that be reciprocated is deeply painful :( But I've wrote a few posts here, and I appreciate all the advice. I am coming to terms with the fact my friends don't love me as much.
It hurts because I gave them all of my best love and effort. I always made sure everyone was included on plans, I initiated celebrations for birthdays and special milestones, I tried to keep up with what was going on in their life and did my best to be there for them.
That doesn't mean I am owed anything, I realize that I'm lacking something to them and that is okay. I can't be hurt anymore all the times they hangout without me and treat me coldly. I don't want to be their friend half the time, whenever they feel like it. It's not what I deserve either.
Thanks for helping me come to terms with this. As much as it hurts, I know I can find the right people eventually.
My friend group is 4 people including me. The 3 others treat me differently, and I am very sensitive to it. They will routinely hang out without asking me, ditch plans with me to hang out with other friends together, and only agree to hangout with me if they know one of the others is also there.
This pattern has made me feel very left out, and a lesser friend. I brought this up to them, and instead of listening they all got mad at me and said I was creating drama out of nothing. They kept pushing back on it and said it was just a coincidence how things have happened. I let it go, but weeks went on and it was the same pattern, so I brought it up again. This time they got even madder and said "we are all happy, and aren't going to change how we are so if you don't like it then leave."
It feels so unfair, because of course the 3 people not left out are happy with the arrangement. I don't feel loved with them that they won't even consider the ways I am left out
My friend group is 4 people including me. The 3 others treat me differently, and I am very sensitive to it. They will routinely hang out without asking me, ditch plans with me to hang out with other friends together, and only agree to hangout with me if they know one of the others is also there.
This pattern has made me feel very left out, and a lesser friend. I brought this up to them, and instead of listening they all got mad at me and said I was creating drama out of nothing. They kept pushing back on it and said it was just a coincidence how things have happened. I let it go, but weeks went on and it was the same pattern, so I brought it up again. This time they got even madder and said "we are all happy, and aren't going to change how we are so if you don't like it then leave."
It feels so unfair, because of course the 3 people not left out are happy with the arrangement. I don't feel loved with them that they won't even consider the ways I am left out :(
My friend group is 4 people including me. The 3 others treat me differently, and I am very sensitive to it. They will routinely hang out without asking me, ditch plans with me to hang out with other friends together, and only agree to hangout with me if they know one of the others is also there.
This pattern has made me feel very left out, and a lesser friend. I brought this up to them, and instead of listening they all got mad at me and said I was creating drama out of nothing. They kept pushing back on it and said it was just a coincidence how things have happened. I let it go, but weeks went on and it was the same pattern, so I brought it up again. This time they got even madder and said "we are all happy, and aren't going to change how we are so if you don't like it then leave."
It feels so unfair, because of course the 3 people not left out are happy with the arrangement. I don't feel loved with them that they won't even consider the ways I am left out :( AITAH?
My friend group is 4 people including me. The 3 others treat me differently, and I am very sensitive to it. They will routinely hang out without asking me, ditch plans with me to hang out with other friends together, and only agree to hangout with me if they know one of the others is also there.
This pattern has made me feel very left out, and a lesser friend. I brought this up to them, and instead of listening they all got mad at me and said I was creating drama out of nothing. They kept pushing back on it and said it was just a coincidence how things have happened. I let it go, but weeks went on and it was the same pattern, so I brought it up again. This time they got even madder and said "we are all happy, and aren't going to change how we are so if you don't like it then leave."
It feels so unfair, because of course the 3 people not left out are happy with the arrangement. I don't feel loved with them that they won't even consider the ways I am left out :( AITB?
I am deeply sorry if this is the inappropriate subreddit, I can't find one for all relationships, he was not my spouse but we dated for a year.
A short summary of why I think he may be a narcissist:
I'm sure as people here know, it's like constant whiplash because that was all happening alongside him love bombing me and seeming like a sweet guy, so it's confusing how hot and cold the relationship was. Does this sound like narcissism? I've been trying to identify it to better find support on how to heal from him
We met online as friends, and were for about 6 months before I asked him if he'd want to try a long distance thing. He was very excited and said he felt the same, and for almost a year we did.
The sad part was, he lied to me the entire time about where he was from. He told me he grew up in Canada and moved to the US at 18, and has been there since. This was all a lie, he has basically been in Mexico for most of his life, with some time spent in southern US. He completely fabricated childhood memories of playing in the snow among other things, he lied about his current situation, and just a string of other lies that are very hurtful. He lied about blocking this person that was disrespecting our relationship, and secretly hanging out with them. The person disrespecting me also got to know his true story which cuts deep: why did he hide the truth from me but let my enemies know?
He was also manipulative. When I would catch onto his lies (ex. he couldn't remember the town he grew up in, and I found that suspicious), he would gaslight me and say I was a bad boyfriend for doubting him, that my anxiety makes it impossible for him. He would say these things knowing full well he was lying to me. He also admitted to intentionally treating me worse than our friends when he was upset at me, doing things like ignoring me and only responding to other people.
Over the 1.5 years we were friends/lovers, I developed so much trust in him and to find out the entire time he was selling me a fake story, and all the work I put into saving money and planning trips was pointless because he was a compulsive liar, it breaks me. It breaks me even more how all our mutual friends adore him and think he's the sweetest person ever, it makes me feel it was my fault he didn't feel comfortable being honest to me. A true long distance horror story
My friends never saw my ex's abuse, they only saw my reaction to it. I admit that I did immature things like posting that I was sad or wanted it all to end on social media. I said things like "no one loves me" because I felt alone dealing with him. In the end, he made me look crazy to everyone by pointing to these reactions and saying it came out of nowhere.
The reality was, he put me through hell. He lied about hundreds of things going on in his life, constantly keeping me in the dark and creating more lies to cover up the previous ones. Whenever I would doubt him, he would say I am a terrible boyfriend for doubting him, and that my anxiety makes it impossible to deal with me. He said tons of things to make me feel bad about my anxiety, knowing full well that I correctly caught him in a lie. He gaslit me to make me feel I was the problem for doubting him, and not that he was for lying to me.
He purposely withheld affection and would be more affectionate to others in front of me, or talk about all the people who want to date him or check him out.
It hurts to be out of that and look back and see how clearly I was being emotional abused, and that our mutual friends all took his side because I didn't handle it well and said inappropriate things when upset. I regret that part of myself, but I don't feel it was enough to have all his abuse be dismissed and have me as the odd person out. It's bizarre the chokehold he has on everyone around us, it's like they don't even care what he did to me.
My friend and I were supposed to go bowling my last 2 weekends I had a day off, but both times he cancelled right before to go to the mall with friends, and said I could come along.
I told him it hurt a bit but he said "look man, I didn't ditch you and I don't want to deal with you making a big deal of this so talk to me when you're over it."
It felt really dismissive and like he doesn't care :( Am I reading too deep into this or is this a sign I am not a priority to him?
My friend and I were supposed to go bowling my last 2 weekends I had a day off, but both times he cancelled right before to go to the mall with friends, and said I could come along.
I told him it hurt a bit but he said "look man, I didn't ditch you and I don't want to deal with you making a big deal of this so talk to me when you're over it."
It felt really dismissive and like he doesn't care :( I know he enjoys bowling so it feels personal he does not prioritize to with me, especially when I barely have time off work/school and made myself free for him