r/Anxiety

I can never think of anything to say when people talk to me, in conversations like at work and even with family. This happens with everyone, even the people I am most comfortable with. Its like my mind is just blank and empty and I have no thoughts or opinions. All I can do is nod or be like "yeah", "ah yeah", "thats good" etc.

Its so tiring and I worry there is something wrong with my brain. Like im just really mentally slow or something. I do have some social anxiety, though its nowhere near what it was when I was a kid and in my 20s (in 30s now). I just cant make jokes or give advice to people or anything like that, or just know what to say. I can never have a proper conversation, it's always so broken up.

It feels lonely as people will just leave me out at work now. They have tried, but because I never have anything to say they know what im like now, so they feel its pointless talking to me, so I don't blame them. Its really isolating.

But I wonder why I get this with family too. Maybe my brain is just wired differently, or im just too slow, or the social anxiety from when I was younger gave me this mental block. Does anyone have any advice on how to lift this?

i started noticing something weird recently.

throughout the day my brain keeps throwing random anxious thoughts at me constantly and i don’t even realize how often it’s happening until i stop and actually write them down.

stuff like
“they’re probably annoyed at me”
“i definitely messed that up”
“something bad is gonna happen”
“everyone noticed that”

i started logging them and later comparing them with reality and honestly… most of them never happened.

that part genuinely surprised me because in the moment every single thought feels 100% real.

i think the scariest part about anxiety is how normal it starts to feel after a while. you don’t even notice your brain is lowkey catastrophizing all day anymore.

What medication do you take, how long have you been taking it, and what others have you tried before (if any)?

I have a decent paying job, but every single day I’m worried that I will be laid off because of AI. I’m looking at other fields that I can go into but I hear the jobs are scarce in those fields too and I need money to afford training in those fields which due to the rising living costs seems impossible.

Everyone is always fighting about something, race, religion, gender, sexuality, political group and what not. The world is so polarised right now.

Man, I just wanna go back a couple of years. This world is becoming a mess. I don’t wanna be part of this. I can’t help but think what if I lose my job and can’t afford anything anymore.

Is anyone else like me and become a nervous wreck when applying for a new job?

Anything I'm confident about when applying for it, I'm fine. But anything that might be questionable I'll hesitate on, and still if I do apply I'll grow very anxious.

It gets to the point where I can't function very well, and I don't know why tbh. This is something I have always had a hard time getting past my whole adult life

Here's my situation...

There is a new job coming open, and it's a great position! However, the person I would be working for makes things much more difficult than needed and that is why there is so much fallout under this guy apparently. That, and the commute is close to 30 miles to and from my house. I always think hypothetically in these situations of what my life would possibly look like. I ask myself, is the commute worth it to go work for a person like that everyday? I feel as if I could possibly hate myself and probably not be happy.

.

My minds racing. I have so much stress about the way life is going and I feel like I have no way of changing it. A lot of the things ARE out of my control. I’m feeling extremely lost right now and just wish I had someone close to me who had the answers. Embarrassing to say as an adult but I just don’t feel cut out for any of this.

I don't really know where to start, but I guess I'm writing this because I feel like I'm losing control again and I need advice from people who understand.

In my mid-20s I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder, although I had probably been struggling for years before that. I only went to a doctor because it got so bad that I couldn't sleep more than 3 hours a night. I constantly felt nauseous, couldn't eat, had anxiety attacks, and I had this horrible feeling in my chest all the time — like the feeling you get before a huge exam you didn't study for. Except I had it constantly.

I started taking escitalopram and it really helped my anxiety and also my depression. I took it for a few years and it genuinely helped a lot. But I still had pretty strong anhedonia (feeling emotionally numb and unable to enjoy things), and I felt very tired all the time.

Eventually I stopped, and then life happened. I got caught up in a war situation, and after that I felt like I needed something again. I researched a lot (including Reddit), talked to my psychiatrist, and started bupropion.

Bupropion has honestly changed my life regarding depression. People have told me I've become a different person. I can say with confidence that for the last two years I haven't really had depressive symptoms.

But my anxiety slowly came back.

At first I managed it, but now I feel like I'm reaching a point where I can't anymore.

I sometimes feel like maybe I'm just not made for life. People say, "God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers." I feel like I'm God's weakest soldier and he gives me easy battles and somehow I'm still struggling.

The thing that makes this harder is that objectively I've actually overcome a lot. I moved to a different country with my boyfriend. We have a really good relationship. I waited for a visa and couldn't work for a while. I took language classes and learned a new language. I had terrible financial anxiety because I spent most of my savings on moving and starting over. Then I found a job working with autistic adults. We moved into our first apartment together.

And after six months of job searching, literally yesterday I finally got offered a job that is exactly what I wanted. It will be amazing for my CV and it's a huge opportunity.

But I can't feel happy.

Instead of being excited, my brain immediately searches for what could go wrong. There have been some small issues around timing and start dates because I want to give my current job proper notice and I already had a vacation planned. Rationally I know these are manageable problems. But my mind acts like the world is ending.

On top of that, I have a medical issue. In a few weeks I have a biopsy because of some abnormal cells. It could be nothing, but my brain keeps obsessing over the possibility that it isn't.

I also know I'm heading in a bad direction because I'm not taking care of myself. I'm not eating regularly, not eating well, not exercising, and I've started drinking more alcohol than I should to calm myself down.

And recently something happened that scared me.

At work I made a sandwich in a sandwich maker before taking our clients on a walk. Halfway through the walk I suddenly thought: "What if I didn't unplug it?"

My brain instantly went into complete panic mode. I started imagining that I burned down my workplace and hurt people. I kind of knew that I turned off the sandwich maker but also I convinced myself that I wasn’t sure and that there’s a good chance I didn’t. While thinking this and looking around and sniffing for smoke and flames I KNEW how ridiculous this whole situation was and that it’s my anxiety.

That's when I thought: okay... this is not good.

I don't want to live in this constant state of anxiety anymore. I feel like life is finally starting to go well and somehow I'm ruining it for myself. In general, I wouldn’t say my life is particularly difficult, I got lucky a lot. It also makes me feel like I’m ungrateful and unreasonable to be so stressed and negative all the time.

What I don't understand is: why now?

I've had much harder months recently and somehow I managed. But now that things are getting better, I'm drowning.

Has anyone else experienced anxiety hitting hardest exactly when life finally starts improving? And what actually helped you?

26M Been dealing with a lot the past couple of years, but I feel like I'm somewhat getting worse and somewhat getting better at the same time. It all started about 4 years back, had a good job, girlfriend, friendgroup, normal things. I was really stressed when my mom was down my back for my job and telling me to keep it, everyday was a new argument with her, my girlfriend ended up cheating, my job got increasingly more stressful on top of taking care of my dying grandfather on my off days.

Fast forward a bit; one night after about a 14 hour work day, I lay down and my chest started feeling really weird and I tried ignoring it because why not? I ended up standing up and BOOM, my heart just started to race faster and faster, I run to get my phone and a glass of water and call 911, it eventually calms down after a while and I told them not to send an ambulance, I thought it was over. Not really sure what it was exactly. So the next day rolls around and I go to work and go home only for it to happen to me twice again and again. I got to where I couldn't sleep and had to sit up because if I laid down it would cause it again. I end up not being able to go to work and called off and it kept happening.

I end up quitting my job and going to the doctors, get put on a EKG, do blood tests, the whole shabang. Nothing pops up that shouldn't be there. I go home feeling kinda safe but, really unsure. Then it seemed like even small little fast movements caused me to have these things where my heart would race. It got to where I couldn't eat because my heart would skyrocket. Called the ambulance numerous times, and went to the ER a bunch, and they found nothing.

Things started to chill out for a little bit but would still get bad "heart racing episodes" alongside some chest pain, went to the doctors and found nothing wrong with me and I started to think it was panic and anxiety. The only thing is that even the least amount of exercise or fast movement will make my chest feel tight and I end up feeling a bit faint. It's totally ruined my life. I just want to get better but nothing stops the thought and the fear. It's all I constantly think about. I just want to feel okay and normal and happy again and have some enjoyment doing anything. I don't even sleep good. I just live in constant fear that something bad will happen to me. Every little thing that I do or think about gives me anxiety and uncertainty. I can't really walk or stand all that much without feeling fain, sick, dizzy, etc.. and basically what I'm trying to ask is; has anyone else felt like this?

So i just started buspirone and zoloft 2 days ago and im conflicted on wether to continue taken them. Ive read zoloft has pretty terrible withdrawals similar to benzos, which ive experienced before. The buspirone im unsure about. I was also put on omesartan for blood pressure and trt for my extremely low testosterone. Im assuming the testosterone could help with the depression ive been having for years and some of my anxiety symptoms could be attributed to my high blood pressure. I dont know though. I almost definitely will stop the zoloft because I dont want to deal with the withdrawals if I ever have to come off, but maybe the buspirone will be safe to take without feeling too crappy if I ever have to stop? Does anyone have any insight on these medications? I really need help here

So I am M23, my girlfriend is 24 and she cheated on me thrice. The first two might not be considered cheating in today’s generation. Let me tell everything from the start.

So I met a girl a year ago at a defence training institute. She approached me and asked me out directly. She was such a beautiful girl with a good sense of humour, and I liked her too. Since I hadn’t had any good experience with women before, I enjoyed her company. She was literally everything I needed (everything she told me about herself). And, importantly, she was the first person I had a relationship with that included intimacy. She was my first.

But this wasn’t true, not at all. Then I found out she was still talking to her ex and also had a secret long-distance boyfriend. I was shattered the first time I saw it on her phone. My heart literally hurt. I decided to leave her life forever. I cried, I shouted alone, I was completely broken.

But then she came back with all her care for me, all her drama, all her past trauma, and all her excuses. The biggest one was her tears. She cried, made me forgive her, and somehow convinced me to stay.

Apart from this, she was really very receptive to every man around her. She had given access to so many men from her friend group. And somehow, I became the “insecure” and possessive guy. I was genuinely trying to accept everything, even though I had trauma from my past. Still, I was learning, trying my best to not be insecure at all.

Then the second time happened. After the exam we were preparing for, we went out to eat something. She accidentally handed me her phone, and out of nowhere, a call came from an unknown number. I answered it, and guess what — another so-called “man.” Some other guy. She was cheating on him with me, or maybe cheating on me with him. Same shit all over again.

This time, I was destroyed. I had literally given everything to her. For her sake, I was trying to broaden my thinking, increase my patience, and improve my understanding. But behind my back, she was video calling him, turning him on, and doing all of that while I was here trying to become a better man for her.

I still can’t even imagine those freaking four days where I literally just cried and cried. Yes, men do cry. But again, she somehow managed to restart everything with her crying, her promises, and all those emotional tactics. And the worst part is, I was so madly in love with this woman that I ended up believing her all over again. And honestly, that’s what made it truly dangerous.

Third time. And this is about today — THE most painful one.

She kept telling me every single day that she missed me, loved me, and cared about me. So we made a plan and went out somewhere. I had her phone with me, which already felt risky. Before this, for context, we had fought over a few guys I saw on her profile. I told her not to get too close to them because I wasn’t getting a good vibe from them. She gave explanations, bla bla, but anyway…

While I had her phone, I saw one of those guys calling her. Then I found him in the locked chats on her phone. My God, that feeling… my hands started shivering. I couldn’t even hold the phone properly. I literally went into panic. There was a guy who was actually her boyfriend, and she had literally fucked him recently.

I cried so badly. I asked her to leave. I talked, shouted, did so many things that even I can’t believe now. I called the guy and asked him to meet me with her. We met. And she chose him over me, right in front of me.

The moment I heard those words, I felt killed. I died from inside. I couldn’t speak. I still can’t even look at people properly. I feel so dead. I’m still crying. I literally have no one with whom I can share any of this. So I’m just ranting here.

Despite all this, there were many lies, many more incidents — what people nowadays call “micro cheating.” And somehow, I kept accepting everything. I know people will call me an idiot. But all of it was only for the sake of love, and for the sake of my first s*x.

But now I’m shivering, devastated, dead inside. I can’t even ask anyone for help. Maybe I can’t live with all of this. These thoughts are haunting me, tearing through my skin and my heart. I hate myself for what I’ve become. I want to cryyyy so louddd. Please, I need a psychiatrist, a therapist, anything just to survive this.

And yes, just one question to girls — WHY? What do you get from all of this? I mean… WHAT????

Its true. I get along great with people, I can talk, have good conversations, and I think I am a pleasant person. No one, at least to my knowledge, has said anything bad about me as a human being. I was really negative(in terms of constantly venting) for a period of time, but I stopped.

But no one wants to be actual friends with me. They interact with me at me school, but they dont seek me outside of that. I hear them making plans with eachother, talking about people I dont know, just talking in general. And it \*hurts\*. I suppose. I very badly want to be apart of their friend group. I want to be in the group chat, I want to get invited to these events, I simply just desire this closeness with them. And I know its not about me being new, they started hanging out with one of the freshmen. (Who is lovely btw, I also get along with her.) BUT STILL.

This has always been an issue in my life. I am never someone's friend. People only interact with me if they are apart of a friend group. Like my brothers friends say Im cool, and the "second most normal family member" outside of mt brother. But they don't interact with me unless my brother is there. The people at my school only interact with me if I follow them around. They never ask me if I want to go on break with them, I simply just noticed theyre about to leave and I follow. And they just let me come along. (Annoying ik, but I only do it once in the morning. I dont constantly follow them around.)

The point is, no one, and I mean no one, has ever shown a true interest in being my friend. And I want to know what is wrong with me. Why? I dont understand. I honestly am considering just isolating myself from them all, because clearly they do not care about me as much as I care for them. And thats okay, I supoose. I was homeschooled for so long, with little to no social interaction. It makes sense id be so desperate for social interaction after being so deprived from it for so long.

I just, am so sad. I often fantasize about what it would be like to be friends with these people. And no one else in my school ever actually interacts with me very often outside of them. (Were friendly, but not as friendly as I am with these people)

Idk. I tried to say it was my age. I joined this school when I was 17, and now I am 18. And its understandable why adults to not want to be friends with a 17 year old, or I guess now freshly 18. But still. They have someone there who is only a year older then me in their friend group, so clearly its not that. Clearly it has something to do with me as a person.

I never thought I’d be writing one of these posts but here I am, two years anxiety free and I just want to share what worked for me because I know how dark it can get.

It started when I was 18. I got sick, lost a lot of weight, and one evening I felt something weird in my body and made the mistake of googling it. First result basically told me to call emergency services. I didn’t know what a panic attack was at the time so when one came on I was completely convinced I was going to die. That was the beginning of a really long loop.

For months I didn’t leave the house. I kept going to professionals and people around me hoping they’d tell me I was fine and it would work for like an hour and then something else would come up and the whole thing would start over. I had every test done. Everything came back fine. It still didn’t feel fine. I had no idea what was happening to my life.

I eventually found a therapist who introduced me to CBT and it genuinely helped. I got to a point where I was going to the gym, playing sports, doing things I’d completely stopped doing. But I’d relapse every couple months and each time felt like going back to square one.

Then I started meditating and trying to understand how my mind actually works. Practiced every day and slowly got to a place where thoughts didn’t pull me under the way they used to. Life felt normal again and I honestly thought I was done with it.

Then I moved to the UK for uni.

First six months were completely fine. Then the homesickness hit, the weather, the culture, being away from everyone I knew. I started isolating and hiding it from my friends there. And then it all came back harder than before. I felt completely alone. Eventually I decided to come back home.

Coming home didn’t fix it the way I hoped. I tried forcing myself back into exercise and meditation but it wasn’t working like before, the anxiety was too bad at that point. I got some professional support which helped enough that I could actually function again. But I knew I had to do the real work myself.

I started paying attention to what was actually triggering me. Health stuff on social media was a big one. Any weird sensation and I’d immediately go to google. I always zeroed in on the worst possibility. Running to others for comfort gave me maybe an hour before the whole thing kicked off again.

So I just started cutting things off one by one. Blocked all health content on social media. Stopped googling. Stopped running to people every time I felt off. Went back to meditation even when it felt useless. And I stopped letting every anxious thought drag me somewhere.

The first few weeks were really hard. Every urge to check or search felt overwhelming. But I didn’t give in.

And slowly, without me really noticing, the thoughts stopped having so much hold over me. Not because I beat them but because I stopped feeding them.

Two years later I travel, play football, go to the gym. I do everything I thought was gone from my life.

The thoughts still pop up sometimes. But now I just notice them and keep moving.

If you’re in it right now just know the loop can be broken. Every time you don’t give in to the urge to spiral you’re making it weaker. It’s slow and it’s hard but it works. I’m proof of that.

Happy to answer anything in the comments.

Did anyone find this helpful for their anxiety?
It’s showing more and more evidence for being helpful in OCD and many other conditions.
It’s in the same class as ketamine and involves glutamate.

I’m in therapy. I want anxiety medication. Hydroxyzine does nothing for me. Buspar gave me heart palpitations. I have been prescribed benzos in the past and they made me feel like a normal functioning human and I miss that so bad. I have developed bad health anxiety over the last 6months and it’s led to me wasting a lot of money on trips to the ER. They always send me home with a paper saying “ask your doctor about alprazolam” and it just makes me want to cry. It’s like they’re dangling the carrot over my head. A few months ago I worked up the courage to ask my psychiatrist about klonopin specifically. I was shaking because I know it’s frowned upon to ask for benzos directly. She told me she couldn’t prescribe it because it’s a controlled substance? I responded “oh, well I’m just confused because I was prescribed that before by someone else who works for this same company” Then she told me it’s actually just preference. She personally didn’t want to prescribe me that med. It was a humiliating conversation and her whole demeanor changed and it just made me feel ashamed. I felt like I was being punished. I was prescribed ativan at 16 and Klonopin at 19 but now as a nearly 22yr old it feels impossible to get this medication. How does that make any sense? I actually stopped seeing my previous psychiatrist because she was prescribing 20+ klonopin a month and told me to take them before bed to sleep and that was a HUGE red flag to me. If I wanted to abuse them that would’ve been a fucking gold mine. I’m thinking about asking my primary care physician about anxiety meds because I quit my job during a panic attack the other day. A job that I loved!!!!!! My anxiety is ruining my life.
I know these meds would help me but they are out of my reach. It’s so unfair.

Title pretty much says it all, I’m anxious and have never had to have a filling. I’m very anxious that it is going to be painful and that I’ll start having a panic attack whilst they are doing the procedure. If I panic, am I allowed to step away and use the restroom or just get some fresh air for a second? Any tips are appreciated!

The past few days I've had such a dry mouth then today it flipped to excessive saliva...

My anxiety is off the chain the past 2 weeks.

5 to 6 weeks ago my eyes started twitching (I work under a mag lamp all day tattooing) then the twitch moved all over. Ever since I started focusing on my body twitching my anxiety flared up. Then came the globus feeling that I started fixating on.

Now my tongue is twitching and it feels weird to talk and swallow. Everyone says I sound fine, but to me I don't at all. I also feel like I have phlegm stuck in my throat and now tons of saliva.

Help talk me off the ledge.

i've been on sertraline (25mg) for a week now & have a dance recital coming up on june 6th. i've had really bad side effects including almost debilitating nausea. i finished my 25mg prescription & my doctor cleared me to just cut my 50mg pills in half so that i wouldn't have increased side effects from upping my dosage, but i'm beginning to think that i want to stop completely and resume after my dance recital so that i'll at least be able to dance in something that i've been preparing the whole year for.

i don't really think i have the time or energy to taper off, so would i be negatively affected by stopping completely without going down to 12.5, etc? again, it's only been a week and i definitely plan to speak to my doctor about it before i do anything, i just want input from people who've stopped/taken the medication themselves and info about how it felt

I was on my 45 min commute home and was starving, so reached into my lunch box for a cheese stick I had packed this morning… I noticed it was really hard to open but it didn’t smell or taste weird. For whatever reason I looked down and saw an expiration date of DECEMBER 4 2025… immediate panic!!!!

Idk what kind of advice I’m looking for but I could barely eat my dinner bc this was freaking me out so bad. One of my biggest sources of anxiety is getting food poisoning… 😭