r/BisexualMen

Hey All,

So here's my story in all honesty - I have had some bisexual experiences in the past - some as part of a swinging relationship and when that ended, I had some solo experiences - some great, some a little not so.

I'm in a straight monogamous relationship now, but when I have a few beers and am left to my own devices, I really think back to all those fun things: the swinging times and the times I met guys on my own. I MISS oral sex and the connection of playing together. I love my partner, but I have a real compulsion to play around.

Am I alone in this after a few beers? I post on here, chat to guys on Grindr and then delete everything in the cold hard view of the morning.

It's not like I haven't had those experiences in the past - I just get a little tipsy and want to talk about them now, maybe?

I’ve (28) been talking with this guy (25/26) on and off for maybe three years now. He’s… different. We’ve hung out a few times and when we do it’s pretty chill and then towards the end we slowly massage each other and then maybe start making out. We go some months without talking sometimes. This happens every once in a while, especially since he lives far. I feel like when I go a long time without watching porn i revert to talking to him over snap. He apparently is always horny (like 24/7 according to him) and he said that he gets hard by just sending me snaps of his boner, but he hasnt made it clear that it’s ME that he’s getting horny to. He has said that it makes him feel horny / sexy when he shows himself to me. One day i was actually irritable and told him i wasn’t trying to see snaps of his dick and he kept sending them! I cut him off for a while after that because like, wtf?

Fast forward to earlier this year, i reach back out to him because i did miss talking to him and still thought he was attractive. Sometimes i hint at coming over to workout together and chill with him and he doesn’t really invite me over to make out or anything or he says he doesn’t know when. The last time i did go over to workout with him he was too high to workout and wasn’t responsive to me when i hinted at cuddling while he watched Game of Thrones. I ended up leaving after about two hours since nothing was happening. We exchange snaps in our underwear from time to time and it’s mainly teasing with captions like “man, I haven’t bust in a while” or “don’t know what to do about this(boner)”. I go back and forth with him but I’m tired of the teasing and I’m wondering if he’s really just being egotistical with his snaps and playing games. Should I just leave this guy in the past? Thoughts?

So, I'll try to make this short since I have to get in to work. I'm in a commited relationship with my boyfriend now going on 10 years (we just celebrated it at Hocking Hills). I love my partner deeply. We don't usually see each other on weekdays having different shifts.

Lately, I've found that I've been desiring other men and women in passing. Whether infatuation, or desire to try and get closer with other friends I've recently made, I can't help by have those feelings of desire. I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I'm curious how you all deal with it?

We'd thought about getting those pressures out by having a threesome, but the time an planning became difficult (not to mention we found people usually flaked out). I'm not sure what it is. I'm nearing my big 40 in a few years, so I'd have expected my drive to go down at this point, but it only seems to have gone up in the past few years.

Any advice?

I've had a little bit of incidental contact with guys in straight group settings over the years, and brief instances of oral. I'm married to a woman and poly. My longtime GF pegs me and through our exploration of that, I've made it clear that I'd like to fully bottom with a guy while she watches. Because she's GGG, of course she was excited about this.

We were on a beach vacation recently and downloaded Grindr. Fairly quickly, fortunately and surprisingly, we found someone we really liked and who was a great communicator and seemed to be an overall great person.

He came to our room one evening and we had such a good time. We chatted for at least 45 minutes and everyone was very much at ease. We got along famously. He is also bi, but has been with a man exclusively for over 20 years. He said that his fantasy now was to find a couple very similar to us (As luck would have it, we are both from the same city, so this could potentially be an ongoing thing.) and he wants to begin exploring with women again.

We eventually got started with things, and after he and I made out and started to disrobe each other, I glanced at my GF and the look of sexual hunger on her face was intense. She watched me drop to my knees and go down on him for awhile. She started to touch herself.

He had said at the start that given my inexperience, he might not be able to cum from oral; after I blew him for awhile he said that probably wouldn't be a problem. :-)

We moved to the bed and she joined us. I can't tell you the rush I had as I got on my knees and he got me ready, with lube-covered, probing fingers. I licked her as he entered me and it was insanely intense. Yes, it hurt at first, but my God once that goes away! He started to very thoroughly fuck me - she pushed me away because she wanted me to focus on that feeling. So she she laid in front of me, legs spread and rubbing herself, keeping eye contact with him and telling him how to fuck me. Eventually he had to stop because he got close and I had told him I wanted to finish him in my mouth.

He laid down and they stayed in physical contact while I blew him. She continued to masturbate and - gloriously - they came at the same time. I didn't swallow and I showed her his cum on my tonge; she told me to come to her and I did and we kissed and shared his delicious load. That was so fucking hot.

I'm sorry that this is reading like a Penthouse letter (I guess that reference ages me), but this was the most amazing sexual experience of my life. So many fantasies happening at once.

He left.

He came back two nights later. :-). We kind of had a repeat, but this time he also fucked her, and we all made out together for awhile as this happened. He then fucked me to completion. Then I fucked her and came inside of her as he fingered my ass.

ANYWAY, all that to say that I can now confidently and comfortably say I am 100 percent on board with all types of man-man sex. I wasn't sure before, but I loved every bit of it. The intimacy, the connection, just how good it feels to get fucked (why do people complain about this hurting??). My GF made it absolutely perfect. I would do it again with just a guy, but having her there made it so much more sexy and intimate.

We will undoubtedly meet up with him again. We got very lucky.

Hello! Has anyone been to one of their oral/side events?

I finally have an opportunity to on on 8/29! I'm very excited, but just wondering what to expect.

Thank you!!

I hooked up with a fellow bi guy last night; started as a slightly cynical “may as well”, but ended up being a super cool experience. It was only oral, we spent about half an hour doing that…but then we just hung out and talked

Normally nobody has time for that…so many DL guys in a hurry, or the hookup spot is risky, or dudes on lunch break, or people are reluctant to reveal too much or whatever. But I have the house to myself, this week, and neither he nor I are DL…and he had to wait for his ride anyway

So, after we finished the (excellent) playtime, we just started talking about stuff casually. It was very, very cool to talk to another bi guy about each of our experiences coming out, his perceptions of the social landscape, and his interpretation of the world in general

He’s a zoomer and I’m older, so it was a real window for both of us into another generation’s life and outlook. He’s totally comfortable being bi - enviably so -, came out to his mother, has what I judged to be sensible expectations of whose business his sexuality is…and it was awesome to share my perspective and …like, be seen by a a guy with a very different life experience. And he felt seen too. And it was very cool to talk like that, and I hope we can all find similar opportunities

I read somewhere that regarding the butthole, it feels tighter at the very start of it, but like a void once you're all in, and now I'm confused because if it is like that, I guess it is, like, loose inside? or is it not?

Please help me understand the feeling of it and why you like it lol. Also if a certain position makes it feel even better or the same, and which one you prefer (anal or vaginal).

I think my freind (BI M) is avoiding me (Gay M) becuase he likes me.

My and my freind have this pattern where we will get into this period of about two weeks (it’s always about two weeks) where we are always talking, almost everyday for hours, he’s always starting conversations, being really attentive, always hanging out etc. We seem to be really close, I suppose too close. After that, he just goes dark. He stops texting first. Our conversations are always short. He barley sends me stuff. And he makes excuses we both know aren’t true. 

For some context, my friend has told me that he has a fear of being in a relationship with a man. He has told me he has never had any relations with men in any way. However, he is openly bisexual, and will admit that. He will talk about finding certain men attractive, and talk about being with men in the abstract (as in hypothetically) 

Crucially, he knows I like him and he’s known this for a while. I’m not sure if he thinks I still like him. Flirting occasionally actually is kinda part of our dynamic. Well, can you really call asking your freind to fuck you and him agreeing “flirting”? Haha. 

The recent experience with my friend I’ve had is interesting. 

We started talking again back in mid-late July. We didn’t talk at all since June, whitch is a story so long I’m going to have to bring up what happened since October 2025 so we just aren’t getting into that. 

We start talking, it’s all fine and dandy. We texting for hours nearly everyday, he’s always starting convos, and sending me shit on every social platform. When we were in this “honeymoon” phase, as I’ll call it, we couldn’t hang out cuz he was genuinely busy and shit. So yeah we were just Freinds as normal  So idk how he would’ve fared having 1:1 face to face contact. 

Interestingly all the flirting we used to do just stopped. I could sense that he was avoiding topics that might lead to it, honestly just being very distant when I’d talk about matters of sexuality untill we’d change the subject and he’d go back to normal. Expect it wasn’t normal cuz there was never this kind of thing before. 

And then, it all gradually stopped. First he stopped texting first as much, but we’d still talk a bit. Once, I was asking him if we were still hanging out the day of the planned date (plans we made while still in the “honeymoon” phase). He treid to get out of it by saying “oh it’s my final day before I start my new job, I want to rot.”Fine whatever. I then learn he didn’t even start the job yet a couple days later when I ask him??? I’ve tried asking 

Weirdly, he didn’t stop communicating completely. When I’d text him, there’d be times where he would just ghost me. But he’d still text me about when he’d get this one food we both bonded over, esp in the early days of our friendship. He wouldn’t try and start conversations with me when I initiated, but he would send me tons of photos of his dog. And he would still sometimes send me reals and other posts (with full messages attached so you know he didn’t just send it for no reason)

And then I got fed up with his dryness. I asked him about 5 days ago in a message that went a little like this:

Hey, I wanted to ask if everything was fine with us. You’re being dry as shit. If you don’t wanna be Freinds say that, if you’ve got somthing to tell me then say that. Your lack of contact worries me

Okay so I was a little less mean than that but you get the idea. 

About a day later he texts “Bro I don’t wanna talk dude”

He’s done this before, like i mentioned. And i don’t think he would have sent that message if it wasn’t for my message, we would have just kept going the way that we were. 

The reason why I think he likes me is becuase of the whole internalized homophobia thing. I’ve heard many bi guys w internalized homophobia go into this kinda avoidance mode. So yall just gotta trust me on this. 

Honestly I will admit I don’t thing my short post is doing my argument justice. It’s very hard to describe a whole dynamic with complex history. Maybe what I’m sensing can’t be put into words properly because it’s assuming I have a whole knowlage of our previous experiences you guys obviously don’t.  yall just gotta trust me on this. 

So yeah lmao. 

Guys help. Idek what I’m asking for here. Personal experiences are welcome as well. 

I have known I was bi-sexual for years but have never actually pulled the trigger on it. Would be interested in hearing others people's takes on exploring their sexuality and how they finally took the plunge.

Alguien de casualidad sabe como tener encuentros... Que no sean en aplicaciones como grindr ,... Esa aplicación es algo turbia marico ...estaba con un bro... Hablando pero el insistía mucho dónde vivía... Y yo le preguntaba lo mismo y no me respondía .... La cuestión es donde puedo tener encuentros... Sucios jajaja pero que no terminen algo macabro jajaja que no lleguen hacia algo turbio

31 M bi here, in a 10 year relationship with the best woman on earth (she was my teenage bff and my hetero awakening, actually).
I’m so stressed about my sexuality and I’m scared that I’m an imposter and a not-good-enough man for her.

Any of you deal with SO-OCD? I don’t know if I even have bi-cycles or I’m just so scared to lose her so I artificially try to refocus my sexuality, whether this means I’m looking at women in order to get reassurance about being “straight enough” for our relationship or whether this means I’m looking at men in order to force myself to “deal with the gay”. I’m not really sure about where’s my ‘organic’ gaze at, or if that even matters.

I have this irrational fear that my gay side will eventually overcome my attraction to her. I’m scared of being one of those who realize they’re gay when they’re 50 with three kids. This messes with my head all day, won’t give me rest. I’m pretty sure I’m more picky with women, but does that mean I’m less attracted to the ones I find attractive? Does that mean I cannot be with her?
We do have sex quite regularly, not tons of it but a very decent amount considering the fact that we’re both stressed and quite depressed (she’s on ssri, I withdrew and should probably get back). Our sex can be amazing at times, I could think of it for a whole week later and basically be less stressed about anything, but sometimes it’s just meh? Which could stress me even more cause maybe I’m not good enough for her etc.
This whole thing makes me freak out.

When alone, I’d probably watch gay nsfw, sometimes straight. Depending on the mood. Not sure if it’s because I’m already sexually active with my exact type of a woman, or if I’m more into men.

I don’t know anything, truly. I don’t know where my desire ends and where my mind begins. I just want this relationship to keep working.

I’ve been openly bisexual ever since I was 17. My ex gf freaked out when I came out as bi. Ig she really didn’t see herself dating a bi guy. Do you guys find that most straight women are not into bi guys? I won’t necessarily accuse them of biphobia, they’re free to date whoever they want. But is it more challenging for us tho if they have a preference for straight guys?

So I’m a bi guy 22 years old I have had 3 sexual experiences before bottomed just once. Out of three only the second one BJ I gave was good other two were terrible even that bottoming experience made me question my sexuality it was that bad, I wanna try and explore bottoming again because I feel good while fingering probably it was a bad day with a bad guy, what tips u would give to improve my experience this second time

Damn am I a lonely boy 😞 been dreaming recently of having a boyfriend but it seems like something that won’t be possible. Anyone on the same boat?

I'm really curious since I personally have always been more attracted to girls like 90/10 (but still consider myself very bi), so if y'all could share your opinions or your number differences I'd appreciate it, thanks :D

This is probably going to be a messy post but whatever. Have any of you ever been fetishized by a woman due to the fact you were bi? I have pretty much always known I was bi and on two separate occasions I have been singled out because I am bi and are/was more feminine presenting than most.

I am also 99.9% sure I am bi, but I also find it very hard to form meaningful romantic relationships with women. Friends and FWB completely are cool. Despite actively seeking out men I somehow end up in a relationship with a woman (often due to my first paragraph) and then I find it very difficult to become romantically attached. I am physically attracted to both men and women but romance with women just does not seem to click for me.

Edit: Sleep deprivation. Will sleep soon.

When I was younger, I’d always be a bit sad and jealous that girls always uplift eachother so much & as a guy I never had that. You guys are fucking awesome, thank you for being so kind & good to each-other, and keep it up! Also love the B4T & vice versa love that seems to be going round in this sub and the general bisexual one. Fuck the phobes, keep your heads up!

I know the struggle many of us bisexual guys face when trying to figure out who else might be Bi! So after my gym workout today, I go into the sauna and notice only one guy all the way in the back! As I look through the steam filled room I see he opened his towel to expose his cock! I honestly couldn’t see his face clearly with all the steam! Well I kinda took my towel off and see what would happen! After a little small talk I just said I’m a Bohemian kinda guy! He replied he was also! Well at this point I couldn’t resist to ask if he dabbled with guys! He said yes and asked if he could come sit next to me! Well to say the least we fondled each other for a while and he suggested we head to the shower! I took the last stall and he went in the next stall! He turned on the water and came into my shower stall! We took turns sucking each other! I said I would like to do this again! It was a first for me and sexy as hell!

it is just ridiculously easy to get laid if you're just looking for men. i've started being more open with my sexuality, and in a short amount of time i've slept with a lot of men - enough that i'm wondering why you would ever want to even try with women

Seems an odd situation but I've been with men for 18 years and currently in a long-term relationship but I've been feeling curious about trying sex with women. Have any of the guys had this experience and what was it like?