r/socialanxiety

I'm completely embarrassed that I dont know certain common knowledge things because my parents and teachers failed to get me help. I failed grades and was pushed ahead when I was failing. I also tried learning stuff but I forget it and not in a good environment to teach myself things:/ I can't even go to school bc everything deals with socializing:/ does this classify as a learning disability? I'm too burnt out to even find a therapist and many keep saying they dont take my insurance or arent helpful:/

after all it's not needed, you can live a fulfilling life without a partner. my social anxiety is ruining my life, i can't even talk to people taking my order anymore. i feel like im too much to ever find love because of it.

my biggest concern is that i'll never be in love. i'm almost 19 now, and i was top of my class, got to attend college early, i work in computer science and i collect anime figurines and stuff so i'm basically a textbook loser and nerd. which is enough to disqualify you from relationships on its own but on top of all that i'm ugly and got crooked teeth. combine that with no social skills and social anxiety and i feel like i have no redeeming qualities.

with all of these cons present should i just throw in the towel and find meaning elsewhere or is there some form of hope? if there is hope, what steps can i take to pursue it? im sorry if this is erratic, ive went over it a bit to make sure it fit the rules. anyway thanks for listening.

so many people have told me stuff like this and it ann me every time.

i worked as a receptionist, life guard and, swim instructor all jobs that require a lot of communication and almost everyday i was terrified to go to those jobs , rarely ever talked to my coworkers out of fear and didn’t get over social anxiety like at all. I spent a couple months there before then quitting, I really don’t know how I’ll keep another job without being constantly stressed by social stuff.
are there entry level jobs with little communication requirements as well?

im also a first year uni /college student.

21M here, I've never had a friend and i have no one to talk to other than my family and all i ever do is go to work and come back home with nothing interesting to do.

I love to watch movies and play video games but I've been getting so bored of everything i normally do and feeling like i have energy that i can't let out but i always end up feeling extremely bored and lonely everyday.

Whenever I feel really anxious, I play with my hair or try to pick at the skin on my fingers.

And I am shaking in my boots. It's in the capital and my friend who was supposed to come got sick from riots the day before. I manifested once before and it's the first time I am going alone. I plan to stay max one hour if the anxiety is too much but I don't want social anxiety to ruin my life more than it already did. I just thought : oh the purpose of going to a protest is to be seen lol exactly what someone with social anxiety hates.

Edit : I went and I am really proud of myself ! Thanks for the upvotes and for participating in a safe place where people struggling with social anxiety can express themselves ❤️

I was presenting my college project—my group has seven people, and I was the first to present—but after just three words, my mind went completely blank. I stood in silence for 30 seconds trying to remember, with the whole class staring at me. Then I decided to look at the slide and read what was there, stumbling over my words and saying things that made no sense. The rest of the group managed to present really well. Afterward, we left; I feel terrible. No one in the group said anything about it, and we kept talking normally, but I still feel awful. :(

I’m a 20 years old uni student and used to be pretty outgoing as a kid, but bullying in primary school made me really self-conscious. I can hold conversations fine, but I constantly worry about how others perceive me, especially in groups. I overanalyse people’s reactions, feel awkward making eye contact and sometimes avoid approaching people because of it.

I also feel awkward being alone in public and struggle doing things by myself, like eating alone when everyone else is with their friends.

I’ve read *The Charisma Myth*, but I feel like my fear of judgement stops me from actually applying what I’ve learned.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you deal with this?

do you guys actually look at people when walking past, or do you just avoid eye contact and look down? I was thinking about how our ancestors used to greet almost everyone they saw, and urbanisation has created this 'invisible effect' where we just ignore each other. Had me wondering how common it is to actually scan faces vs just stare at the floor

For me, it feels like there is some kind of invisible shield between me and the person I am talking to. It stops me from reacting naturally. I overthink everything, hold back what I actually want to say and end up acting like a filtered version of myself.
Does social anxiety feel like that for anyone else?

i already knew they knew i have no fucking friends but to hear them say that as an insult really shattered my heart into pieces. why would they tell me that knowing how depressed i am about it? anyways, today we got in an argument bc i overslept a lil bit and my mom comes waking me up yelling so fucking loud and i was so irritated bc i had trouble sleeping last night and had eye pain + headache so hearing her got me really mad and she said “get ready for school” and i was so annoyed that i mumbled “i fucking hate school” bc i really do i deal with multiple chronic illness specifically social anxiety and get indirectly bullied so it’s hard to pull myself to get there. anyways, after i said that i accidentally slammed the bathroom door on her foot and i triggered her even more. even after i told her sorry it was an accident she still snitched to my dad. i was trying to use the bathroom and before i can even wipe myself shes banging on the door mad hard telling me to get out slammed the bathroom door. when i get out, my dad is in my room complaining that i have a fucking attitude and everything and he talks about how i’m lazy, stupid, dress horrible, mentally ill, not his real daughter, and then he bought up my biggest insecurity that i have no friends so i just bursts into tears i haven’t had a single friend in years so just to hear him say that really pissed me off bc that’s why i been wanting to kms. he says that i’m a loser with zero fucking friends at school and i just wanted to die right there. they both started to attack me so i hit them back and then i’m disrespectful for defending myself. makes me realize that nobody understands people like me but will just assume i’m the problem.

I've avoided the hairdressers for a decade now out of anxiety, but I want to book a consultation to get my hair dyed (I'm trying to get some more confidence in my appearance)

Weirdly, I'm more stressed out about the phone call to book the appointment than the hair appointment itself, how do you manage this if you go to the hairdressers? 😭 I really want to do this but I just feel paralysed when my hand is hovering over the call button...

I hate how I can't keep conversations

At this point I think it's my personality, I hate it, I hate hearing about how everyone's personality is different and that I shouldn't try to become like someone else. It hurts me. I wish I could speak up in group settings. I wish I had a friend group and a boyfriend. It all ends up being bleak and my life doesn't allow me to enjoy due to how self aware I am all the time. I can't talk to anyone, I need like 5 days of recharging my social battery after barely one hangout with my friends. If a guy asks me out I just never talk to him and bore him to death, I fear it to be even worse if I'm the one who asks someone out so I never do it. The human connection, constant socializing takes a toll on me and I can't deal with how lonely it makes me, every single thing in life relates to how social I need to be. I wish I had a fun personality that wasn't so easily burnt out. I can feel the cognitive decline just accelerating and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

(I posted this to another subreddit but thought I could also post it here)

Hello everyone, hope you are having a good day so far

I just wanted to get some advice on how to tackle this, as I have just started college, I’m supposed to be an adult now. I don’t want this to affect my education in the long term.

Every Friday I have a single English class early in the morning, and let me tell you a little about some of the students in it because:

One’s a night nurse whose been working for 14 years and now studying to get into law school, another is working to be a pathologist’s assistant and was once a circus performer, there’s also another who’s going to be a pharmacist and has been working for his pilot’s license (for fun btw), there’s even a guy going into business so that he can more effectively help his mother with her bakery business. I could go on and on about these people because they are some of the coolest and nicest people I’ve ever met. It’s so interesting seeing how different peoples lives can be.

But I’m not anywhere close to being as interesting as them, I don’t have any cool hobbies nor talents. Because of this, I didn’t want to end up “disappointing” them, so I thought that if I couldn’t be an interesting person, I’d at least be a punctual person and show them I can be reliable. But of course, that didn’t end up working. On the second day of classes I showed up 30 minutes late, and on the third day, I was so afraid of walking in and disappointing them further that I just stood outside the class for like 2 hours, just watching them go about doing whatever, as I couldn’t bring myself to even open the door.

This even extends to my school work, I keep getting emails that something is due or a big essay needs to be done, but every time I look at it I can’t help but think of how shameful it is that I let myself get to this point, that I just don’t do it.

Now that same shame has started to affect my other classes. I’ve been absent three days in a row to my Spanish class that only happens two days a week. Once I become late, the thought of walking in makes my anxiety flare up, so I just don’t show up.

So if any of you have gone through something similar or just have some general advice for me, that would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time, and have a good rest of your day.

Like at work or when I was in school, if there was a situation where someone had to compliment me (say in an assignment or at work the boss giving compliments on notes to the workers), it's always ''you're quiet'', ''you're calm'' or other versions of the same.

Always feels more like an insult but ok

I've been wanting to go to a chain gym for over a year now but I can't make myself go. I'm going to the one in my building and another very small one that I have a subscription for very cheap, but it only has a few machines. I'm terrified of looking stupid, everyone is always observing everyone in the gym. I'm terrified of men thinking I'm there to get their attention as a woman as well.

I've previously been terrified of going to libraries to study and conquered that in small steps by starting with a guided tour through one. I don't have any ideas on how to small-step the gym anxiety since I've already done all I could come up with and still haven't gotten myself to even do a trial day in a big gym.

Anyone been there or have any ideas?

i’m so anxious about this thing i’ll need to do in my school work experience,

basically there’s this mandatory work experience somewhere related to what we study(i’m in high school),i did it last year for two weeks and it was the worst thing ever,but now i’m anxious because i’ll have to do it for one month and i have to make calls which i hate,and then go in person to bring some documents,i wanted to do this experience in the town hall,so’ll i’ll do less hours,but i cant,i did’t go out in months,its been 6 months or more since i’ve went outside to do something beside school and the dentist or being forced by my mom to buy something,so just imagine,i fucking live 15 minutes away from the square,i can go walking,and it’s gonna be weird for me going after months.

i feel insane that i’ve havent been somewhere everyone here goes in months.

just the tought that i‘ll have to physycally go there,and there's gonna be people.

I always need my sisters to do things for me,i dont go to shops because i feel ….i dont know how to say,i feel embarrassed to pay,to buy something,order, I don't know how to do anything.

i’m 17,i sometimes think that if i never got bullied in middle school and isolated, i wouldn’t feel like that,plus some problems that are going on are just getting in the way in my life.

the only thing i did this summer was starting to eat with others,when i was 12 my sister told me i made sounds so from then i kept eating alone for 5 years, i remember that when i went in my home country and i asked my mom to bring my food in another room,from then my relatives think i have a problem,and just this summer when they were talking with someone ,they asked them if i still ate alone,i felt so ashamed,its been 3 years since you saw me eating alone and you still think about it? i was so embarrassed that i started to eat with my family,at first it felt weird but it got better and that’s the only thing I aceived.

I can't imagine that in the work experience I'll be in a room with other people, and then having to say bye before going.