u/cajuntwisters

I was out with my mom and 13 year old sister. My mom got talking with a random woman and she asked my mom if me and my sister were her daughter and son💀 I’m 20 years old and I look like a 13 year old boy. When I have appointments and things like that people always talk to me like I’m a kid. Even when I had long hair they did this but now they think I’m a boy on top of that. I must have a baby face. How do I look more my age while being masculine?

No, not in a trans way. I thought I was for years but it all came down to internalised homophobia and misogyny.

In my early childhood I would pray every night before I went to sleep that I’d wake up male so I could get married to a woman when I grew up. I envied movies like Beauty and the Beast so much because seeing that a woman could love a literal beast but never seeing that someone like myself could be loved crushed me. There being absolutely no rep for lesbians or even gnc women didn’t help at all either. I feel like that would’ve maybe changed a lot for me. All of this made me start maladaptive daydreaming about being someone else in order to cope. Someone that could be liked and loved.

I grew up with an all male friend group. Going into the preteen/teen years conversations about who people had crushes on naturally started happening more frequently. I’d be sitting twiddling my thumbs because of course I couldn’t join the conversation, being out at 13 is a death sentence. I envied how they could say the exact things I was thinking. Around the same time I’d been pretending to be male online for years by that point (I know I shouldn’t have been on the internet that young). I would have girls literally fight over me constantly. They never even saw my face or heard my voice obviously because that would give it away but they were STILL all over me because they thought I was male + my personality. When I grew out of that and started being myself online I didn’t even have a single friend online. Girls aren’t apart of the picture at all by that point. My personality isn’t enough to grab people’s attention anymore because my profiles don’t have a male name on them.

Now as an adult, with all of this shit going on towards lesbians I constantly feel like I have to defend who I am and my sexuality even though I hate being who I am and hate what the majority of the community that i’m unwillingly am apart of is. All of the complete bullshit we have to deal with on a daily fucking basis drives me insane. Trying to be heard meanwhile nobody gives a shit, It’s fucking suffocating. I’m so tired. I really thought things would get better as I got older and all of the horrible things I was feeling were some type of teenage angst or something but it’s the complete opposite.

If I was a man literally none of this shit would matter. I’d just be a regular guy and not some dyke that’s a social outcast to all social circles. Everything about me is Regular Guy™ apart from being a woman. It’s like I’m locked out of so many life experiences because of who I am. I feel like I have to put up a fight and defend myself until the day I die and I don’t want to. I’ll never be respected and understood. It all feels pointless and bleak. I wish I could get a taste of what it’s like to be happy as a lesbian but it’s caused me agony my whole life. There was a really short period of time where it excited me but now it just depresses me beyond belief. I don’t even want to try anymore. I wish I was a man or even just asexual or something so none of this would matter.

I’m really sleep deprived. This all probably looks stupid as hell.

The channel 4 link just isn’t working at all for me anymore. The channel 5 link still seems to be fine. I’ve been trying to watch the series I was watching on videobrother instead but the video just won’t play because of the constant ads redirecting me to other pages. Anyone know what I can do?

I’ve just finished watching the golden era trilogy (5,6 and 7) for the first time and unsure which one to watch next. What do you guys recommend?

I’ve heavily suspected I have OCD for a while now but have been too anxious to bring it up to anyone. The past few weeks have just been unbearably bad and I’m really struggling and need to do something. I have an appointment with my GP coming up soon and I have no idea what to say. Do I literally just tell them that I think that I have OCD and go from there? I never wanted to get to this point and thought to myself I can just deal with it but I’ve been agoraphobic for years now so obviously I haven’t been dealing with it lol. I also suspect I might have ADHD but that’s more so from others telling me they think I might have it. I really don’t know how to open up to someone about any of this

I started isolating myself around a year before Covid when I was 13. I’m turning 20 in around a month and I keep freaking out realising I’ve had no life whatsoever for the past 7 years. I disappeared from the world as a kid and now I’m trying to get back into it as an adult and nothing makes any sense. I was pushed out of school pretty much at 14 during the height of Covid and teachers/support had no idea what to do with me so they just pushed me from place to place and I couldn’t deal with it. I haven’t talked to anyone my own age since I was 13. It’s all really starting to get to me now. I have other problems on top of this and I feel like I’m too fucked up to have a life. I’m becoming a burden and I’m really starting to not want to be here anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy

I’ve just watched BB6 for the first time and omg wtf was the deal with Craig? He was so borderline creepy towards Anthony the majority of the time, it was genuinely uncomfortable to watch. The way he would constantly throw tantrums and try to twist things people would say as well? One of the most vile housemates ever

I’m a masculine/butch/whatever lesbian but I’ve never felt connected to the lesbian community. I’ve really, really tried but I’ve just never found my place. All of the butch/masculine lesbian spaces I’ve tried to get involved in are full of women taking testosterone and getting surgeries. They’re all so hostile to one another and are trying to one up each other with “who can be more masculine”. God forbid a woman says she’s butch4butch, they legitimately make fun of you for that and act like it’s an abomination or it’s “too gay”. These spaces don’t feel welcoming at all unless you’re following the same path as the rest of them. It’s just a big “my dick is bigger than yours” contest. As for other lesbian spaces, as I’m sure you all know, are filled with bi women and men.

I feel so disengaged from whatever “lesbianism” even is anymore. I don’t even like calling myself a lesbian at times because I feel like people will get the wrong idea because it’s lost all meaning.

I’ve been pressured to transition by people in such spaces purely because I’m masculine and it’s just like, is that it? I don’t fit the mould of what a woman is “supposed to be” so I have to alter everything about myself? It’s like this is the standard now. I thought we were past this? It used to be “you can’t be masculine because you’re female”. Now it’s “you’re masculine so you must be male”. It all just makes me feel so undesirable, like I’m not enough or something. Not just in a relationship sense but within the community.

I don’t feel solidarity with other lesbians at all. I just feel completely judged and isolated.

This has been happening to me since yesterday but I assumed it was an issue with the video itself. I’ve tried favouriting other videos to a collection today and it’s still not working. Is anyone else facing this problem?

I have an event with a decent amount of people I have to go to tomorrow and my mind just keeps racing. I have no idea how I can get through it in one piece. I’m not a drinker at all but people keep saying to me to have some alcohol beforehand to loosen up. Is alcohol actually helpful for dealing with stress and social situations? I have no idea what else to do

I’ve honestly never put much effort into my appearance and I’m trying to change that. I’ve spent most of my life in joggers and hoodies and I feel slobby wearing that constantly.

I’m around 5ft4 and I’m quite curvy so I have I hard time finding things that fit me the way I want. T shirts sit awkwardly on me and hugs every curve I have. They’re usually too long but not baggy because they hug my hips and I hate it. Almost everything on my bottom half (jeans, trousers, etc) just never look right too. Any advice is appreciated

Hey everyone. A close family member of mine has their birthday coming up really soon and there’s going to be a birthday dinner. At first I assumed it was just going to be us and them and while that stressed me out I knew I could front it out. Then it’s revealed there’s more family coming. At first it really stressed me out but as time went on I’ve convinced myself that I can try my best to just go and face it. Now I’ve been told that there’s more people going that I don’t even know and I’m really panicking. The constant changing of what’s happening and who’s going is really stressing me out. I haven’t been out to dinner with the person whose birthday it is in about a year. The other family members I’ve barely seen maybe since before Covid. I’d normally say I can’t go but the age my family member is turning is a big deal for her and she wants everybody there. Does anyone have any tips on how I can get through this? I haven’t been in a situation like this for a very long time and it would look really bad for me if I back out of it

I finally got the big chop a couple of weeks ago after desperately wanting it for as long as I can remember. While I love that it’s short I’m not fond of the cut/style itself. I had to keep asking the stylist to go shorter even though I explicitly chose a picture with short hair. I’m pretty sure I have a heart shaped face and I have pretty thick slightly wavy hair. Also should I be going to a barber?