r/lesbiangang

I feel like people expect lesbians to find every woman stunning and beautiful and perfect. You see it all the time online with (supposed) bisexuals joking about how they're attracted to every woman and 2 men (crazy how they always end up with one of those two men!) I was chatting with some of my friends at a bar the other day, and the topic of our 'types' came up. One of them started regurgitating that kind of crap about how every woman is so beautiful, then turned to me and went "I bet you don't have a type at all, women are so gorgeous!" No... I definitely do, just like everyone else does. The whole group started acting genuinely surprised and somewhat offended when I pushed back on that idea.

I think it relates to people subconsciously not seeing lesbianism as a valid sexuality, but as more of a choice or political statement. No other group is expected to find every single person in their potential dating group attractive. Straight people, gay guys, bisexuals are all allowed to have preferences. Only lesbians are expected to be completely impartial about their dating pool.

I’m currently trying to go into a very stereotypically feminine career path (fashion and marketing) and have yet to meet any lesbians at all while in school for my subject and in my career so far even if I am early in my career. I’m mostly curious what you ladies are passionate about and what kind of careers you have gone into? I do feel a bit like a lone wolf in fashion tbh.

Hey everyone, I would like to hear your experiences with dating late bloomers. Thanks!

There's been heavy moderation in this sub, more so than usual and a new mod with zero post history has been moved up to number two on the mod team.

Can we have some transparency here? There were problems with the mod team since Kuberr and this is starting to smell stinky.

(Lazy mod post ahead, typed half way through a 10 hour shift. Tw unprofessional.)

It was left over from the subreddits past mods.

We just didn't bother removing it. It's gone now.

What else are you unhappy with? We'll slow down with the post removals, if you slow down with posting about the same topic for days on end. We don't need 15 posts about gold stars in 2 days. We don't need a post about bisexuals every single day. It's repetitive and exhausting. Important topics yes, but there's more to lesbianism than the same 3 topics.

Also, many posts were removed because of being disrespectful. Don't call people bitches, slurs or talk about certain communities in ways that go against Reddit's terms of service.

Ask whatever you want, just be respectful. We're people even though you don't like us. We don't guarantee instant replies, we're not all active rn and I'm at work. Plus it's exhausting.

Cheers

Title is self explanatory. Please recommend your favorite lesbian media to me!

This can be shows, movies, books, singers, painters, poets, etc

I’m even interested in historical figures. I don’t care, I’ll take it all.

Personally I don't like seeing 15 posts on the same topic a week, be it les4les, gold stars or bisexuals. And I'm saying that as a les4les gold star myself. But let's see what the masses want.

View Poll

One of maybe like 10 lesbian bars left?!

I would like to support more lesbian entertainers like singers, actresses, broadway, movies, YouTubers, content creators, artists, writers etc.

Basically just comment your favorite lesbians in the arts community :)

I would hear there is a difference when it comes to dating women who are exclusively into women so I am wondering in what way?When it comes to a committed monogamous relationship. Is there more love and affection expressed by a lesbian? When it comes to long term future planning, sex,being in touch ,attachment styles, gentleness.

I dated both. I was just with one lesbian who would make me feel loved, treat me like a kid, keep on kissing me, calling me babyish names, would initiate sex, would want to text, wouldn't like going a day without texting, would be afraid of losing me, would continuously admire me, in person it was like she couldn't take her hands off me, would care when I was bothered, send me my favourite foods, want to cook for me, would play with my hair when I would lie on her lap, would like to pick me up, would cuddle me, and was very good at sex, knew what i liked, she would comfort me when I had panic attacks, immediately calm me down, she would sometimes cry if I wasn't ok and show concern.

When it came to bi women my experiences weren't good. As in theg ended up cheating with men and were like I am bi, what you expect. When it came to sex personally I didn't really enjoy it compared to the others. The others led me on but said they can only see themselves with a man long term. The fifth one I was with seemed into me, reassured me she won't get back to men then ghosted. She would be inconsistent when it came to texting, she would keep focusing on going slow.

I felt maybe it's the individual at the same time I can't help comparing these experiences and wondering if it is connected to identity ? I don't want to generalise and I know I'll come across as 'biphobic' but these real life experiences i can't just forget and i would naturally be confused.

i'm moving to a big city soon for the first time of my life (berlin). i know it's different everywhere, but i was wondering wether you guys had some general advice on finding lesbian community i can relate to, dating and what not. in a big city like that it can feel anonymous and lonely quickly even with so many people around. i was in berlin once for a short time; a queer bar i went to was filled with mostly men, even though it was apparently a popular bar for lesbians too. there were also lots of tourists, and since i'm looking for a long term relationship that's not great for me. my hinge also showed way less women that are my type or that i relate to in terms of interests, probably bc there were way too many😭 in my small town, finding fellow goth lesbians seemed a lot easier, even though berlin has a big goth scene, so i was a bit confused.

to any of you who moved from a smaller town or city to a huge city, did dating and finding a nice lesbian community get easier for you or harder?

Hey guys just need peoples opinions!

Before I start this, IM NOT GOING TO DATE THIS GIRL CAUSE OF AGE DIFFERENCES.

Okay so, I recently told this girl I’ve been friends with for a couple months that I date women. She’s been open about her same sex attraction from the get go, but I just never shared that part of myself for my own reasons.

Anyway, I came out to her about a week ago, and she keeps asking me the same questions about what I like in a woman, ESPECIALLY how young I’d go. I just turned 22 and she turned 18 earlier this year.

I don’t think I could morally date a freshly 18 year old at my age, but what do you guys think this means? Is she genuinely just curious or is she trying to scope out if she has a chance??

Pleaseee let me know if I’m reading too much into it.

Thanks guys :)

I’m in my late 20s and have known since I was 11 that I liked girls and not guys. In short, I had a fucked up childhood so I repressed my desires and tried to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. This persisted into young adulthood. I focused on school, work, hobbies, managing chronic pain and mental illness etc. and put dating on the back burner. I had one long-distance “relationship” but that was it.

I finally couldn’t take it anymore after a certain point and recently decided to start dating (minimal luck so far). I also decided to take the plunge and start coming out to a few people in my life.

I came out to someone (an older woman I’m friends with) whose reaction was to laugh in my face. She insisted that it’s normal to have crushes on other girls and want to make out with them. It’s even normal for straight women to think about other women while masturbating. It doesn’t mean that you would actually enjoy having sex with a woman or want to marry one. Also apparently it’s normal for women not to develop desire for men until their late 20s/30s (?).

This really threw me for a loop. I’m a full-grown adult but now I’m less sure of my sexuality than I was when I was a sixth grader who searched “girls kissing” on YouTube and wanted to marry her classmate.

Sometime later I started seeking out lesbians to talk to. I met a few older women who made fun of my ignorance and lack of experience and basically insinuated that I’m a confused straight girl with mommy issues. (My mother neglected me and we have never been close.)

That’s exactly what I was told growing up—lesbians are damaged women who “need the right man” etc. I always told myself that didn’t apply to me, but maybe I was wrong.

Now I can’t go on a date with a woman without thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me” the entire time. So dating has gotten harder. I had made a lot of progress and had just begun to heal from my shame, was on the way to coming out etc. and now I’m back to square one.

The only way to gain clarity on this is to get more experience IRL, but my diminished confidence is getting in the way. It’s a vicious cycle.

Yes I am looking into therapy.

I need the inside scoop on lesbian life around Seattle WA area… I’ve never been to that side of the US before so I’m wondering, how’s life over there?
How’s the dating scene? (I hope not as bad as everywhere else😬)
Is making genuine friends actually possible?
Where do people meet other lesbians?
What’s the social scene like? Cuz for what I’ve seen there’s a lot of outdoor activities, which it’s a plus!!!
And most importantly… where are all the lesbians hiding? 🤨🏳️‍🌈

I’m also looking to make new friends, so if you’re around Seattle, and open to meet new people, feel free to reach out.

I’m fairly certain she is straight but what’s new, eh lesbians? Lmao

We are friendly and professional.

Well she is a high femme and just bought a new Harley. Comes over to me and we start talking and she tells me she did a photo shoot with her Harley because that’s what you’re supposed to do. /shrug

Asks me if I want to see them and I say sure! I was not prepared. There she was in a leopard bikini g string thing allllll femmed out. In seductive yet tasteful poses.

But her bike wasn’t in the picture.

I said… cool pic! Where’s the bike at? 😂

She had cropped it out so it was just her.

In barely anything

Damn straight women and their bullshit LMAO

Hi everyone. I (21F) took a while to accept my own sexuality due to my religious and conservative upbringing. During my school years I couldn't even admit whenever I had a crush. I mean, I had a crush on one of my best friends, but I was able to repress my feelings about that because she had a girlfriend so it's not like I had a chance.

Last year I got into college and one of my friends confessed she had feelings for me. I thought she was pretty but I could never have admitted to myself I liked her before she made it clear to me.

What followed was a complicated relationship... My ex girlfriend was much more experienced than me, she came from an accepting background and she was a bit older too. I tried explaining to her that my slow pace and the fear I felt were because of my upbringing but that with the given time I would be able to match her pace, but she still felt very rejected by me and broke up with me. It's okay, I understand I couldn't give her what she needed...

After this all happened in March, I was feeling extremely sad. I vented about it to one of my freshmen, I'll call her "Ellie" (19F). Ellie was very compassionate and sweet and comforted me at the time.

I began spending more time with her and found out we had a lot in common. Originally back in May I thought maybe I had a crush on her, but I ignored that thought because I figured maybe my brain was confusing the fact she was sweet to me during a vulnerable time with romantic feelings. I also wasn't over my ex.

To keep things short, me and my ex girlfriend had a huge fight in May and are no longer in even speaking terms (we stayed friends after breaking up). I got over her pretty fast after that lol she was horrible to me during that situation, so that helped me lose all my remaining feelings.

Me and Ellie have a lot of things in common like our Catholic background. I told her in passing I wanted to go to mass but no one ever wants to go to mass with me lol, and Ellie told me she wanted to go to.

We had made plans for it before winter break back in June but in the exact same day, Ellie broke her toe 😭 So we had to cancel.

However yesterday she asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and go to mass. We went to mass together, then we walked around a bit, we went to an orchestra concert that her cousin was playing, and then we went to my home and had pizza.

It was a very fun day and more than anything I really appreciate how much Ellie understands me. She's bisexual and also had a journey to deal with her sexuality while also being Catholic, and she also talked to me about her struggles with dating culture and having a slow pace for romance, which I related to a lot.

Unfortunately this whole day made me realize I do have a crush on Ellie 😭. This is the first time I admit I have a crush on someone who is... available.

Honestly after the way things with my relationship went I really fear the idea of being with someone again, but I would like to get closer to Ellie and see how things go. I don't think she likes me romantically but she has told me she feels very comfortable and non-judged with me, and I feel the same about her. She's also really pretty and funny. She doesn't have fingers on her left hand and she lied to me when we met that her twin had ate them in the womb, and I believed it 😭 (she was joking haha).

Anyway, having a crush is phisically painful 😭 We don't have any classes together and I wish more than anything we could spend more time together. I don't even know why I'm posting this. I've never "chased" anyone so that scares me.

I also worry she'll think I'm being creepy if she knows my feelings. I think I could over if I ever grt rejected and I'd love to at least be her friend, but I worry she'll get creeped out.

I'm so confused on what to do. I want to hang out with her again 😭😭😭

I know this is a lesbian sub but I haven't visited reddit in a month and now it's gone? As a feb I followed that sub and this one and I'm hoping someone here has a link to their discord? 🥺 It was a great community it sucks it was banned and I can't find where else they've migrated to.

Sucks how anything that doesn't include men will get banned sooner or later. Even this sub might have its days numbered...hope I'm wrong

If this post is not appropriate, mods just remove it

I was out with my mom and 13 year old sister. My mom got talking with a random woman and she asked my mom if me and my sister were her daughter and son💀 I’m 20 years old and I look like a 13 year old boy. When I have appointments and things like that people always talk to me like I’m a kid. Even when I had long hair they did this but now they think I’m a boy on top of that. I must have a baby face. How do I look more my age while being masculine?