r/lesbiangang

Anti-shame and pro-self-esteem posting. God, I love labia. I don't think I've ever said that in a public sphere. B ) Labia makes me feel warm (hot) and fuzzy inside and out. That's all.

My life is messed up in all ways. I got married at 18 to a husband I'm still with 20 years later. We have four kids 10-19yrs old. Both of us are gay. We've both hidden it our whole lives until we came out to our children and direct family last Thanksgiving. I have had the same partner for three years. My husband is more of the "body count" gay without wanting a relationship. I feel empty. Like my whole life is a sham. I'm a teacher. My coworkers and "friends" don't know who I really am. I feel like I've wasted my life. I can't get 40 years back... I've just wasted it.

What happened? Even a few years ago, it wasn’t this bad. I just opened HER for the first time in quite a while and it’s literally a cross between a cesspool and a ghost town.

Within just two or so days of swiping with a relatively broad age filter (25 and up) and distance set to the maximum for a free user, I’m seeing nothing but unverified, bi-curious, bisexual, and questioning profiles that are obviously bots or trolls. The active, verified profiles that populated my feed before that were largely heteronormative tourists and unicorn hunters. There are actually more straight up MEN than Butch/Stud/Masc lesbians on a “sapphic” app.

My preference is Butch4Butch, so I’m aware my options are limited…but damn, this is demoralizing. The abysmal state of online dating reminds me of why I stayed in a toxic relationship for as long as I did.

Do you gals (lesbians of any presentation) even use the apps anymore?

I don't know how to say this smartly, but I'm no longer even bothered when feminists ignore lesbians. It focuses broadly on women, and like 99% of women aren't lesbians so naturally it mostly focuses on non-lesbian women. Now I just feel like something that broadly focuses on women instead of on lesbians specifically just doesn't align with my interests. Anyone else feel the same?

I’m a fem-leaning lesbian and my gf is a GNC masc-leaning lesbian, both in our thirties. I’m so mad right now, and upset for her. She’s a member of this expensive gym/club that’s open 24 hours and is often there until very late, 3 or 4 am some nights, working remotely in their lounge area. There’s a new night security guard, according to my gf they’re AMAB and “queer” looking. This guard approached her at 10 pm and sat next to her as she settled in to work and started peppering her with questions. My gf entertained it for a moment but had to three times say, “I have a work deadline I need to focus on and can’t talk right now.” Each time the person completely ignored her and continued talking, and after the third time told her she was pretty. They said they were 18. After repeatedly having her boundary ignored, they finally left and sat at their post across the room, and STARED at her while she tried to work. She got up to move and they called her over and asked for her phone number, she said no I have a gf and left the area. She called me from the bathroom shaken and upset, embarrassed that someone so young made her feel so unsafe.

I can’t tell you how often strange people approach her, she’s approached way more by creepy men in public than I am. Men who comment on her appearance and make suggestive comments. Then there are young “queer” girls who fetishize her, crave her validation and proximity to her to absorb her legitimately gay social capital and validate their identities. I am so disgusted by how gnc lesbians are preyed on and treated like objects.

I’ve had a bad week and found out that the prospects of me being able to carry my wife and I’s child are not good. She’s never, ever wanted to be pregnant so this is a very hard time for us. I feel like people react as if I have a de facto surrogate and therefore shouldn’t complain so intensely about having fertility issues. I would never make her carry our child when the idea of being pregnant is something she’s incredibly uncomfortable with. So me not carrying makes it unlikely we would ever have a child together. Can’t I just be allowed to grieve this??

Guys I think I’m close to my time of the month but I just wanted to extend my arms for a big hug to ALL of you!! I’ve always been happy to be myself and learn myself, and I thought college would be the best time for me (too many tumblr stories I guess). I learned people also learn and change… meaning a lot of my ‘lesbian’ friends turned to my bisexual friends. This is totally okay! I was just a little sad maybe because I never felt a sense of belonging. I’ve looked at the other Reddit groups and I just still couldn’t feel like I was understood or heard on my opinions. But you guys! Omg! You all are just amazing people and I appreciate this community

My first post on reddit, kinda nervous... I'm in a desperate need for some positivity because I just found out today that a 'lesbian' girl who ghosted me months ago has a dyk*bre*king kink and ended up with a man (shocker). But we won't talk about that! This is an appreciation post where I want to gush about women, let's go!

The title says it all – I love love love seeing tattoos on a woman. It instantly makes her hotter and more beautiful in my eyes. Sorry, but I will stare at a stranger with no shame if I spot a tattoo on her body, especially the arms. I recently saw a girl with a female knight tattoo on her leg and thought, “I need that!”. Now guess if I mean that I need a tattoo like that or the girl 🤭 I wish I could include several pictures I've found on pinterest of women that made my lesbian brain swoon when I searched for inspirations for this post.

I myself have a tattoo of my favorite animal – a wolf – on my forearm (I promise it's not silly, it looks great). I got it done on my first ever salary, I look at it sometimes and can't imagine myself without it, like it's not gonna be me without my wolf. And it makes my forearm look cool af! I'm not gonna post it here, because it's a very identifiable feature after all, but you get the gist.

If you read this and you have a tattoo, know that I think you're hot and a cool person, and I want to lick you (sorry) (or not). I also love hearing stories behind people's tats, so if you're willing to share one about yours, pleaso do!

So i didn’t realize really how popular the opinion was that if you’ve slept with a man, you’re not a lesbian. I’ve slept with one man a couple times in my sophomore year of highschool, i’m a junior now. I’m starting to worry maybe i’m not a lesbian? I slept with him because I felt insecure about my virginity and I felt like I was supposed to because i’m a teen girl. I also had been trying to get into relationships the year before but nobody was interested in me so I was already feeling insecure.

It was a weird experience, not like sex at all. We didn’t kiss, there was no foreplay, I didn’t even see his penis. Afterwords for a brief moment I was excited, but then I quickly became sad and cried because I felt ruined. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me and that’s why I didn’t really enjoy it, so I figured if I did it again and became more experienced I would like it more. But every time after that it all felt the same. I liked his attention but I hated his hands on me, I would often cry while doing it with him, and one day he asked me to give him oral and whipped his penis out right in front of me (all the times before when we had sex i’d never seen it). I was so disgusted and I didn’t even know what to do with myself. I refused to give him oral and he was upset at me. The last time I slept with him we barely talked, and as we were doing it I cried the whole time. I hated the feeling of it and I hated everything about it. After that I realized I didn’t really like men. In the past I had found many guys cute, and I still occasionally do. But the thought of kissing a man, or being intimate with one, or even just going out on a date with one. absolutely repulses me.

I don’t feel this way with women, I’ve had intimate experiences with women before and i’ve never felt disgusted or ashamed about it. It just felt natural. But now people are saying if you’ve ever dated men or slept with them you’re not a real lesbian. So I guess i’m curious what you all think.

Did I understand this correctly? Is Kristen Stewart upset that she played a role in Twilight (as a sexual minority) in which she had a love story with a man? Because her real-life love story is with a woman? Are more and more queer or lesbian actresses speaking out because they’re upset that they played roles involving a love story with a man? I obviously understand these women’s frustration; I just find it interesting that this is only coming up now. I can imagine that it has something to do with greater acceptance and visibility in society - that they can now express their honest opinions and wish they had played the main roles with a woman instead. Is Kristen Stewart currently calling for a new, lesbian version of Bella, with Bella having only a female love interest?

I read this on TikTok. I don’t know if any of it is true, though.

Sorry, the previous English text was wrong. That’s the problem with AI translation.

I (26f) have been with my (22f) girlfriend for almost 5 months now, I was so in love with her in the beginning but now I get so irritable being around her. I dont know when it first started but we've been together almost 24/7 now. Pretty much any time were not at work we are together. I tried to tell her that she should spend more time with her friends that she lives with but she just doesnt want to leave my apartment.

All she wants to do all day every day is cuddle. And I don't mean one arm around each other but laying on top of me. Not only is it uncomfortable but its annoying because I want to do my own thing. I told her this but it seriously personally offends her.

I love her and everything about us is perfect on paper. But I dont feel a spark anymore. Maybe its the age gap and the fact that I've never dated anyone younger. She is super naive, grew up really sheltered. Im the opposite. Ive been on my own since 16 and while I do still visit my friends and family im almost always by myself. I have an extroverted personality and can get along with almost anyone. Shes super introverted and I thought maybe it was an opposites attract kinda thing because I've never had an extroverted partner but idk anymore.

I also feel terrible because shes clearly head over heels in love with me and im her first everything. I just feel like we rushed into this and now its too late to back out. I also truly adore her and she's the sweetest person ever but I cant help but be so annoyed of her sometimes because shes so clingy. I think that its best if we spent more time apart but I dont want to hurt her feelings. I vocalized this once the other night and she just cried while laying next to me and didnt talk much after that even when I tried to have a conversation.

I dont really know what to do. I dont want to break up because I really felt like everything was going so perfectly and shes helped me so much and I dont want her to feel like I just used her. Idk. I havent told any of my friends and I feel like everyone thinks were just so perfect for each other and its truly one of the best relationships I've ever had so that only makes this more confusing for me. I think I relate a bit to bpd splitting as well but I dont have health insurance or a dr/therapist/psychiatrist so thats just speculation I've come up with after some internet research. I dont really know what advice im looking for but it feels good to finally type this out.

It’s probably just that I can’t sleep lol but I just realized something about myself and I feel kind of guilty. I’m a German immigrant in Spain (white lol) but before coming to Spain I also lived in the USA for a while. I have dated before, most relationships have lasted 1-2 years but I’m literally 22 so I have time to find the woman I want to marry.

Anyway, after taking some time off from dating after an emotionally devastating breakup with my ex, I finally felt ready to try again and have been in the talking stage with a really lovely woman that I really like.

But! I just realized that every woman I’ve dated so far has been black and I’m worried that that might be problematic? I see so much discourse online about it and my ex did tell me while we were still together that she didn’t think she as a black woman should be with a white woman for a lot of understandable reasons.

So should I like try to change this? I don’t know if it’s coincidence or a type lol but if this keeps happening then it’s probably a sign. At the same time I really like this woman (she’s a writer 🥰 I love intelligent women lol) so I don’t want to back out unless I am actually being problematic.

I feel like it would be nice to have a Fem4Fem flair. I personally relate to it more than just saying femme. Having a specific Fem4Fem option could also help increase our visibility in the community.

Have an enraging tiktok that you can’t stop replaying in your mind? A rant that you’ve been dying to get off your chest? Send off your frustrations here!

(*Please keep in mind that the rules of this sub will still be enforced.)