r/lesbiangang

I already knew we’re fetishized as lesbians, but I don’t think I realized the full extent until recently (this sub has been a big help, I’m so grateful for it). It seems like everyone is fetishizing us and also attacking us at once…

Straight men constantly fetishize lesbians, of course, but I even see some gay men spout the same predatory nonsense (it’s crazy that they aren’t even into women but they still find a way to be predatory towards butches and studs?). And then you have straight women making out with each other for the pleasure of men, or on the other end saying they wish they were us and they think it would be so much easier to be a lesbian. I think the worst part has been realizing that even other women who are attracted to women are NOT our allies. They either play into men’s dyke breaking fantasies, or get mad when we don’t want to date them.

It makes me feel gross. So many people who claim to love us and be on the same side become extremely hostile the moment we don’t want to fuck them, or talk about men, or meet their boyfriends, or be their third, whatever. There’s very few non-lesbians who actually defend us, and it feels like we’re such a small minority that we can’t properly stand up for ourselves. Anyway, just wanted to rant somewhere where I won’t be banned or berated for acknowledging how predatory people are towards us.

I mean unsafe to the point of crying. I can’t believe all that i went through to be able to accept myself just for the community to be the way it is. Little me would be so disappointed. I can see why a lot of people don’t/won’t come out. Things felt better when i was closeted and lying to myself. A space that’s been made to include literally everyone and protect literally no one could never be a safe space.

If you’re a lesbian, anyone is allowed to force themselves onto you and you’re the one in the wrong for getting upset. It’s impossible to not be “bigoted” to a group of people that hates you for nothing other than your gender and your sexuality. Honestly, this is making want to kms.

No one wants to defend lesbians except other lesbians. Even gay men don’t get shit on as much as we do, or they call it out with more support from the queer community, who are coincidently silent when it comes to us.

If they insist on demonizing our labels, then fine. I’m a mean, gold star, pussysexual lesbian who will never ever want a man and who can’t be broken. And I’m proud of it.

Anyone who has a problem with that can lick my clit or get mad.

Im not sure if it's because it was just pride month or my algorithm is broken but the amount of posts discussing lesbian sexuality has gone up in the worst way possible. From that whole paris drama on tiktok , people on insta picking up on the false dv rate statistics, to twitter being a cesspool. I seriously need lesbians to be meaner like now.

Sorry for this rant but i know im not the only one who has noticed this

So this might not be the right place to reach out for help, but maybe it is. I don’t get the whole non-binary thing. I get not conforming to gender roles and living life the way you want to. I’m not an overly girlie girl, but I’m a woman. This nonbinary thing has me confused. I get not feeling like you fit 100% but if you present as a dude, how do I see you as anything other than a dude? If you present as a woman, how do I see you as otherwise. And we get the how dare you misgender me?!? Like I am all for you transitioning, but this in between and expectation has me wondering. Plus, if you identify as both woman and man, how are you a lesbian??

Has anyone else noticed that the word "lesbian" is constantly being replaced out for "sapphic". I think we all know that it's because “sapphic” by definition is inclusive towards “woman-aligned”and non-binary people ( which is annoying in itself since the term comes from Sappho...an actual lesbian )

Regardless, if inclusivity was the actual goal here, then why don’t gay men have their equally as common word to describe their sexuality?
I looked it up and apparently it’s called “Achillean” but I’ve genuinely never seen that term being used online or in real life.

Idk I guess I’m just frustrated that it’s always lesbians who are expected to broaden out our label or just replace the whole thing with a new word, when the same is never expected for gay men.

Imo, it's okay if some of these align similarly to what gay men go through, because while we're obviously inherently incompatible we do share some common life events. Namely: the existential crisis and dread that comes with finally realizing (and accepting) that you are different from everyone else in a significant way and will never be able to live a "normal" heteronormative life like your peers.

Edit Note: This is mostly for fun. I'm not saying we NEED to or should have to justify ourselves. I thought it would make for an interesting discussion without much fighting.

Those of you who are against it, why? I'd like to understand that perspective, because to me all adults are equal. Everyone has their own fate, personality and experiences. Even though people usually go through the same life stages, school, university, work they still end up being very different. Is that purely a financial reason, like not wanting to have more money than your partner?

For context: Currently, my country is going through a transition to fascism (an actual one where people are already getting death threats from politicians for voting for a leftist candidate and the elected president hasn't even taken the position yet) but the thing is that, the elected candidate was really straightforward and blunt about wanting to transition to a dictatorship and being a fascist, and a large number of people (close to 13 million) voted for him. The thing is that, despite the bunch of shit he said and showing how ignorant he was, the marketing strategy was really good; he made a bunch of shows, made a hymn (wtf, I know). In the end, that made a bunch of people follow him.

What I want to get here, is that, as someone who wants to get into marketing, I noticed that everything is marketing. EVERYTHING. And >that one side of the community< has had a really big influence on political marketing, and marketing in general because it's profitable, that's why so many companies support it.

So I was thinking that maybe, lesbians should get more involved in the marketing thing as well, or something, after all what is being promoted is the reputation of a community. Like back at the time, I saw that lesbians would dive headfirst into politics, like the "lesbians against pornography", and stuff like that.

Instead of complaining about the community, we should start doing stuff like this again, starting by promoting what lesbianism actually is with pedagogy and other stuff like that.

Just a small thought. Bye.

I am a lesbian living in downtown Toronto. With the large scale ‘queering’ and obscuring of what few remaining spaces lesbians have, it’s of great importance we maintain strong networks and establish ways to connect and find each other.

I am working to build local community with like-minded lesbians. Places where we can come together as we are, be ourselves, and put lesbians and our needs FIRST without fear. Most events catered to ‘lesbians’ in our city are not actually by and for lesbians. It’s in our hands to be the change we want to see.

If you’re interested in making some more lesbian friends and you are from Toronto and the surrounding GTA, feel free to DM me. And if you know of anyone in the area who would be interested, tell them they can get in touch as well!

I had 6 days off which just happened to be in between shifts, so I'm off to France. Anyone else going and where are the lesbian spaces? Where are must-see place you've been that I shouldn't miss? Thanks!

Big Kudos to the mods that help run this place. It has been wild seeing all the little tricks used, to try and bring this place down. I'm so much more aware now, on how lesbian communities are targeted different to gay male ones. It's so much more persistent and almost feels like industrial scale espionage. This community has been the least toxic of all of gay reddit. The haters have literally nothing to go on, but the lying about what goes on here was also there since the beginning.

My fav attempt was prob the 'ff' who kept insisting this was the only lesbian community she could possibly be on (back when this sub was even tinier), while finding it super problematic, because of the people already here...like...gurl what?

Every time I come across this sub mentioned somewhere else, I have to laugh, because It's so painfully obvious what they're up to. Their fake little posts describing how much they suffered here are always hilarious. As someone who was here early on, seeing how the str8 hate mob galvanizes around anything good homosexuals build for ourselves has been so eye opening.

They hate us coz they ain't us, but unironically ⚢ ✊ ⚣

tldr: I think you're cool.

Thought it would be fun to make a post asking this since it’s so hard to find like-minded lesbians out in the wild without being risk being called a terf/phobic.

I’m thinking that if you already see your country/state then just comment on that so there’s an ongoing thread?

Let’s make friends!

But I feel like the “homophobic straight girl to out and proud lesbian” pipeline is a BIG contributor to why late in life lesbians aren’t hugely accepted.

They went AGAINST the community, in an attempt to assimilate. They contributed to a lot of the issues that lesbians face, made life harder for them, just to turn around and slap that label on themselves. To the lesbians who have always been out, especially in times or places where it wasn’t widely acceptable to be anything other than straight, that feels like an insult. When it was hard, you assimilated by harming the community, and now you’re demanding access to the same community you used to shit on?? A lot of lesbians aren’t going for it, including myself.

i missed the action on the thread from a couple names ago asking sub members if they’ve ever dated anyone with the same name as them. she and i had the same first name, same spelling, and same last initial (even the same number of characters in our last names). ask me anything!*

*for reddit purposes, i will name us Serena P. :) and no we are no longer together!

Long story short: Posted on a specific lesbian subreddit the other week asking if I was a lesbian as I’m only attracted to women, not nonbinary/trans masc folk (or men for that matter). I also asked if there was a new term for wlw lesbians as it would be great if we could have a label that actually applies to that portion of the community if the community is so broad now, and most of the other subreddits somehow have cis women being a minority in who posts regularly.

I got about fifty hate comments, and then the post got taken down by mods. For the record - this was a genuine question at the time, I wasn’t trying to be a pot stirrer, and have since gone down the rabbit hole of finding the new definition of lesbianism is non men loving non men. As so much of the online community is being taken up by the non men rhetoric, it’s lovely to find a community where you guys seem to support women (and also trans women who fully identify as women) as lesbians.

Obviously I know trans women can be a bit of a controversial topic online as they make up of the majority of other online lesbian spaces but I personally would probably date a trans woman if they passed/had surgery if I was genuinely attracted to them, so I have no issues with them. I just want to date people who actually identify as women, not non men!

Love this community & very much the sort of lesbians I would find in real life.

Hey hey! Does anyone have any tips for how to connect with the lesbian community in Madrid? I am speaking of bars, events and so on! Not looking for dates.

Would appreciate any help! Unfortunately I do need to add that I do not speak any Spanish :(