u/Global_Bookkeeper_91

I’m currently trying to go into a very stereotypically feminine career path (fashion and marketing) and have yet to meet any lesbians at all while in school for my subject and in my career so far even if I am early in my career. I’m mostly curious what you ladies are passionate about and what kind of careers you have gone into? I do feel a bit like a lone wolf in fashion tbh.

I’m 23 and have gone from 170 pounds (uk size 16/18) to a 140 pounds (uk 10/12 ) from Wegovy. Overall this is amazing, my health is better, I feel like I look better and feel better and most importantly my pre-diabetes has improved. My main problem is now my ‘I wish I could fit into that’ clothes are too big, and all my other clothes are way too big and my massive wardrobe that I’m too emotionally attached too is just completely unwearable.

I’ve always been really big on fashion, I have an absolutely overwhelming and bursting at the seams wardrobe. Even while I was at my biggest, I always felt like clothes would make me feel more confident in myself at least. I love all my clothes so much I spent hours search for them in vintage stores, charity shops, vinted and it was something I took a lot of pride in. Now none of it fits at all. I was walking down the street yesterday and I had to hold my favourite skirt up to make sure it didn’t fall to my ankles while I was walking because I’m too stubborn to let it go. I’ve had people point out whale tails and even builders bums from skirts that have now become so big they just fall down when I just stand up. Worse even was a strapless top that fell down while trying to walk onto a bus. most of clothes do not have belt loops either so i can’t even try that. it’s too embarrassing to deal with so I have to find some kind of solution but clothes can be so expensive, I don’t know how I can just replace a perfectly curated wardrobe. I can’t afford to tailor it or replace it, so what do I even do? Do I just slowly start getting rid of the biggest stuff and work my way through?

I feel like buying a new wardrobe when you lose weight is something people are usually thrilled about and it’s just making me feel so sad. I wish clothes could just shrink with me.

From 0.25-1.7mg I’ve had absolutely no side effects whatsoever. No headaches, no nausea only appetite suppression. I’ve been on wegovy since January and have lost 30 pounds or 17% of my body weight despite never upping my dose to 2.4mg. My weight loss started slowly recently (but not stopping completely) so I decided to go up to 2.4mg despite the extra money. I’ve been having the worse headaches ever since day, to the point where I cannot think straight. On both injection days, it’s been so bad I cannot get out of bed. Should I wait it out and try and see if these side effects subside or drop back down to 1.7mg? I’ve barely felt a difference in appetite suppression either, it feels the exact same as 1.7mg.

I have been a bartender for over 5 years now, I started at 18 and am now 23. Only 3 jobs in total- so I’m not job hopping. I’m currently not getting the hours I want at my current job, but I figured I’d be fine and probably get a new job quickly. I’m getting rejected from bar jobs left and right. I only have relevant jobs on my cv and I am getting the occasional interview, but I’ve never struggled like this before. This is London btw. I know the job market is terrible atm, but I’m applying to minimum wage jobs that I have years of experience in and being rejected. What on earth.

I’ve currently transitioned from working 20 hours on my very active job (bartending) to 40 hours because of finishing university. I’m currently on 1.7mg and it’s been working a charm so far, lost 22 pounds ish (and become way leaner because of how active I am) in 6 months (from 170-148) - however now I’m doing more hours (sometimes 12-14 hour shifts) I am physically so exhausted and everything hurts whenever I’m trying to work when I wasn’t pre weight loss or wegovy. I physically cannot eat enough to keep myself going everyday, before it was fine but I now just collapse out of tiredness whenever I get home and am now starting to feel faint at work. I feel better when I eat, but then can’t actually eat a full meal.

I also completely covered in bruises at the moment- which I’ve only had happen when on extreme diets before. I don’t know how to deal with this, I don’t know want to go down a dose because I haven’t actually lost that much weight and still am not at a healthy bmi for my height (5’3) but I’m making sure to take supplements and eat enough nutritious food- so don’t know what other options I have. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I am a gold star lesbian and he knows this. I am not interested in him at all, and I didn’t think he thought I was until he said it to someone else. Apparently so many people have pointed out ‘that I must be into him’ that he thinks I must me. I am not flirting, I have a natural very outgoing personality and I’m friendly with everyone pretty much, but have I been too friendly? When I flirt with women I’m very direct, I’ve not once commented on his looks or done anything I consider flirty, I just laughed at a couple of his jokes and enjoy spending time with him because god forbid I find a friend funny and it not be flirting. this has truly thrown me and kind of makes me feel kind disgusted, like genuinely do people view me as flirting with this guy? what the fuck. Like it feels like my intentions have been completely misinterpreted and like sexuality is being ignored because I’m a bit bubbly.

I’ve only started to start trying to become friends with men recently, mostly because throughout my life men have been quite mean and horrible to me- especially growing up due to my looks. This felt like the first genuine friendship with a guy I’ve ever had and it felt nice and now it feels like it’s just ruined. I know i don’t like him at all, but it almost feels slanderous that other people think I do. like what am I doing wrong? Should I be less friendly?

As of three months ago, my bar has hired a new assistant manager. I would consider myself someone who can pretty much get along with anyone, whether you’re terrible at your job or good at it- I don’t mind as long as as you are at least nice, that’s my basic requirement, I’ll essentially find anything to talk to my coworkers whenever I can, long term or not. I get along with everyone else I work with, except this assistant manager.

this assistant manager is just so unbelievably rude, bitchy, just absolutely hates my guts and I’ve never done a thing to her or even said a bad word about her.

she’s rude to customers, she’s rude to staff, she’s mean to everyone. I’ve genuinely never met anyone so unlikeable, because she just hates everyone. I try asking her questions about her life, she walks away and rolls her eyes, I try and talk about my life she just walks away from me. Keep in mind, we are the same age - both 23.

she won’t talk to customers, she’s so rude to them - swearing at them, to their face. No thank you’s, no banter. I try and just be nice to her and she’s just not interested- she’s only interested when I’m complaining, if I’m complaining about customers or complaining about my life. If positivity is involved, she’s not interested. She told me off for having a small dance with a customer (like me behind the bar, him in front while dj is on) because it was annoying her. It’s like she feeds of negativity.

I know I’m not the problem, everyone else I work with has said i’m not because ‘she has attitude with everyone’ but I’m the only person she won’t have at least a basic surface level conversation with she will literally walk away from me if I try. I just don’t know how to even how to proceed, especially if I have several shifts with her a week, she literally will avoid looking at me so she doesn’t have to interact with me. I don’t even know how to proceed, my Manager said she can’t force her to be friends with me - I know that but I can’t even do a handover because she’ll literally go ‘and? What else do you need to tell me?’ In the most sarcastic voice When I try to do basic work duties.

This morning I hit bmi 24.9! I’m 5’4 and I’m now 10 stone 9! I haven’t been a healthy weight in so so long and I’m just absolutely thrilled. My weight loss with Wegovy has been relatively slow, with me losing 21 pounds in a round 18 weeks but I wanted it to be that way. I wanted to be able to sustain it and I’ve been moving up doses slowly, I’m still only on 1.7mg. The main difference I’ve found is that clothes shopping is way easier, I’m not terrified to head to the changing rooms that my friends try on clothes in I also work a very active job and it’s been way easier than before.

I do one thing wrong, I improve it - she picks on something else and then adds the thing I did wrong last time I did it to the list.

I got a sit down from my manager saying my job performance wasn’t great. Her reasoning was:

- i didn’t offer to cover a shift to help out- when i didn’t know they were going to need help. Nobody asked me to do it but i was supposed to know and be proactive.

- I needed her to explain over the phone several times in one conversation with me how to fix the electrics while I was alone and when i hadn’t done it before and asked to her explain several times. therefore I wasn’t proactive enough and was not thinking by myself hard enough.

- I didn’t know how to put ice in the cooling fan to help the fan until it’s fixed even though no one explained how to do it.

- I am working on my own all day from 11-6 but if I leave at 6pm with no supervision (I’m just bar staff) I’m not helping out the team who come in two at a time.

- I’m not doing good enough handovers but when I am doing good handovers it’s emphasising that I’ve not completed the tasks she set for me so I can’t win either way. Even if I was on my own all day and had to focus on bartending, if I don’t finish the side jobs it’s not good enough.

- she even pulled me up for being ‘unfair to other collegues’ because my colleague said she was unhappy about the schedule to me, in a private break conversation off site and a regular overheard and reported back to the manager that I had said it. She chose to believe this regular over my word and it didn’t matter this conversation was off site.

- i also apparently ‘had a problem with the assistants managers mid drift’ because I pointed out that she was not getting told off for having it out at work, yet I was getting told off for a singular button undone. Apparently this assistant manager very much dislikes me and how I do my job, but will never actually say it to me will only report it to higher managers.

- I took the whole pubs spirit and stock order in wrong, even though I had never been told how to do so yet was just expected to figure it out. I made sure to do it right the next time, but the fact that I did it wrong the first time wasn’t good enough.

There was more on top of this, some of it just being her upset about her having to cover me during university work even though I had requested time off in advance, going on about how no one gets praise for being in this job it’s either good enough or not good enough and if it’s not good enough she’ll cut your hours and more I can’t even remember.

I just feel like I can’t win??? Even if I improve these things, if I remember next time she’ll add it to the sheet of things I do wrong but then add more thing I somehow have to figure out without anyone explaining them? it’s not like they say hey this isn’t acceptable when I do it either, they’ll just add it to the list.

I’ve been working in bars for 5 years now, I know how to bartend but I am expected to know how to operate manager duties without any training or pay. This just feels ridiculous and I feel like I’m going crazy and then she’s just sat there asking what I’ve done today ‘if you’ve even done anything other than lallying around’ When I’ve opened and run the pub for 7 hours straight solo.

But apparently that’s bare minimum for them and all for minimum wage at £12.71 and no tips. She said ‘no one should think we are thankful for you working for us because we aren’t, you should be thankful for this job’ and omg it’s just seems like there’s no positivity only miserableness allowed.

I work with this girl, she’s a lesbian with a girlfriend and I was kind of excited to work with her - I like getting to know other lesbians. But this woman absolutely hates my guts for no other reason than me being ‘soft’. She’s the kind of woman that goes around talking about being a lesbian all the time - “I can fix things because I’m a dyke’ kinda thing, she’s femme ish but has this bitchy tough personality and her biggest complaint from everyone I know is how much attitude she has, but with me she just straight up will not even talk to me. Will talk to others about me, about how I’m doing things wrong but not too me.

I remember talking to her on my first day, trying to ask her questions about her girlfriend or life and she would just answer and never ask any back. Since she’s been working here 3 months, she’s not asked me a single question about me or my life - so i cannot seem to think any reason for her to hate me. She only seems to bond and is friends with men or straight women. Will chatter and joke with them, even the one’s I’m super close with but will not even look at me if she’s talking to them. She absolutely hates me for no other reasons than me being a lesbian and being soft and only really being friends with women. I’m very femme, act very sweet especially at work while she’s the tough manager who’ll swear at customers and stuff. We are similar ages, maybe a year between us.

she just thinks I’m annoying and weird and to be frank she’s just a bitch, rolls her eyes whenever you try and talk to her about anything. Not with the men though. She’ll talk to the men for hours, joking, physical contact. Acting kind of like a pick me but somehow a lesbian. I’ve barely talked to this girl and yet she’s going on about how useless and soft I am to these men.

I’m 23 and a gold star lesbian, never even held hands with a man. Came out to my parents at like age 12, they said you are really young so many be like think about it first and come back to them when I was older but my sexuality was never really ever something I had to think hard about and It never changed. I was attracted to women and I thought men were disgusting to think about in that way, let alone actually ever genuinely considering doing anything with a man. As I got older I learned to make friends with men but again I never even considered that kind of relationship. it did help figuring out, I think, that I was bullied by boys pretty hard growing up and never had any pressure to ‘be with a man’ from religious aspects or society because I was considered ugly growing up and I was the girl guys thought was just untouchable. so realising I was a lesbian was the easiest thing about myself, I just was and that was it. the older I get, the crazier people seem to find it. I get asked constantly by people questioning their sexuality how I knew or lesbians that aren’t gold stars how my journey went and I always get a crazy response to me just knowing. I literally woke up one day and I knew. I remember reading a romance book at age 12 and thought ‘wouldn’t this be so much nicer if he was a woman’ and that was just enough for me to figure out.

Honestly, I’m kind of fed up of the questions like from other gay women like asking for more and that’s just it, there is no more that’s just the answer. I know I’m privileged in that aspect but at the same time like what more do you want from me? to lie? I once had a lesbian ask me how I knew if i was actually a lesbian if I’d never consider dating a man, because she had to question herself for years and actually had to think about it. I’ve had bisexual women questioning me, saying they’ve been going back and forth for years about the dilemma of her sexuality and I just was like ‘yeah that sounds really hard’ and for me it just wasn’t at all and they just keep prying for a story and there just isn’t one. when I said I’ve never even kissed or held hands with a man, a woman just straight up said she didn’t believe me and then others led with the the typical ‘how do you know if you’ve never tried it?’

I’ve met very few gold star lesbians in my life so I get it, people often do have problems figuring it out, but at the same time shouldn’t people be happy for me that I’ve never fallen for any societal pressure? Why is it crazy that I just knew and never questioned? I get it’s not something you hear everyday but at the same time like that’s just me and that’s my story.