I’m 23 and a gold star lesbian, never even held hands with a man. Came out to my parents at like age 12, they said you are really young so many be like think about it first and come back to them when I was older but my sexuality was never really ever something I had to think hard about and It never changed. I was attracted to women and I thought men were disgusting to think about in that way, let alone actually ever genuinely considering doing anything with a man. As I got older I learned to make friends with men but again I never even considered that kind of relationship. it did help figuring out, I think, that I was bullied by boys pretty hard growing up and never had any pressure to ‘be with a man’ from religious aspects or society because I was considered ugly growing up and I was the girl guys thought was just untouchable. so realising I was a lesbian was the easiest thing about myself, I just was and that was it. the older I get, the crazier people seem to find it. I get asked constantly by people questioning their sexuality how I knew or lesbians that aren’t gold stars how my journey went and I always get a crazy response to me just knowing. I literally woke up one day and I knew. I remember reading a romance book at age 12 and thought ‘wouldn’t this be so much nicer if he was a woman’ and that was just enough for me to figure out.
Honestly, I’m kind of fed up of the questions like from other gay women like asking for more and that’s just it, there is no more that’s just the answer. I know I’m privileged in that aspect but at the same time like what more do you want from me? to lie? I once had a lesbian ask me how I knew if i was actually a lesbian if I’d never consider dating a man, because she had to question herself for years and actually had to think about it. I’ve had bisexual women questioning me, saying they’ve been going back and forth for years about the dilemma of her sexuality and I just was like ‘yeah that sounds really hard’ and for me it just wasn’t at all and they just keep prying for a story and there just isn’t one. when I said I’ve never even kissed or held hands with a man, a woman just straight up said she didn’t believe me and then others led with the the typical ‘how do you know if you’ve never tried it?’
I’ve met very few gold star lesbians in my life so I get it, people often do have problems figuring it out, but at the same time shouldn’t people be happy for me that I’ve never fallen for any societal pressure? Why is it crazy that I just knew and never questioned? I get it’s not something you hear everyday but at the same time like that’s just me and that’s my story.