u/adashofwonder

One of maybe like 10 lesbian bars left?!

I knew my resume was going to bite me in the ass. I’ve worked primarily in the B2B SaaS space which has meant that I’ve unfortunately been laid off 3 times and have some shorter gigs on my resume.

Most recently I had an interview with a hiring manager where it was not so subtly brought up: are you gonna get Antsy and leave?

My heart sank. Listen, it’s exhausting starting a new gig every 2 years. My dad worked at a fortune 100 company for 40 years.

Mind you she progressed me forward because I have strong skills but I’m curious how others have tackled this or spoken to the instability?

Hello everyone!

I just had a screening with a recruiter about a role I’m so excited about! The role is perfect for my background, the hiring manager sounds incredible and it’s a large company!

I don’t want to seem desperate but I am connected to the hiring manager on LinkedIn.

Is it annoying or too pushy to send her a note?

I’m looking for ways to stand out in this competitive market. I offered a take home to the recruiter but she said no that wasn’t necessary

Advice needed after shaken confidence and dismissal.

I joined a tech company 2.5 years ago after being recruited multiple times by senior leadership.

I joined one department as an IC and received really great performance reviews.

About 11 months ago I was offered the role of director for a brand new team within my department. Not understanding the role or scope I declined.

Fast forward to 6 months ago I was asked again after the director that came in was fired.

Again I hesitated as I was somewhat aware of the challenges with the role. It was a HUGE scope with a very small team and an exiting VP.

Fast forward to now and my new VP blocked a critical backfill on my team. This person was a senior architect who worked at the company for 4 years. I knew this new VP didn’t like me and gave me strong feedback every week.

I quit today. I was emotionally and physically exhausted working 69+ hour weeks with what felt like impossible deadlines, managing over 20 tools with 3 people.

This new VP pinned so many disasters (projects I had no say in. Decisions I didn’t even make) on me and suggested I was a poor people manager. My team is upset and I’ve lost all confidence.

Feeling absolutely gutted.

Advice needed after shaken confidence and dismissal.

I joined a tech company 2.5 years ago after being recruited multiple times by senior leadership.

I joined one department as an IC and received really great performance reviews.

About 11 months ago I was offered the role of director for a brand new team within my department. Not understanding the role or scope I declined.

Fast forward to 6 months ago I was asked again after the director that came in was fired.

Again I hesitated as I was somewhat aware of the challenges with the role. It was a HUGE scope with a very small team and an exiting VP.

Fast forward to now and my new VP blocked a critical backfill on my team. This person was a senior architect who worked at the company for 4 years. I knew this new VP didn’t like me and gave me strong feedback every week.

I quit today. I was emotionally and physically exhausted working 69+ hour weeks with what felt like impossible deadlines, managing over 20 tools with 3 people.

This new VP pinned so many disasters (projects I had no say in. Decisions I didn’t even make) on me and suggested I was a poor people manager. My team is upset and I’ve lost all confidence.

Feeling absolutely gutted.

I’ve worked in SaaS Tech for the last 10 years. I’ve always tried to perform well, go above and beyond, remain technical while treating others with kindness. I know that relationships matter and despite my difficulties in reading social cues, try to learn the social hierarchy early on.

—

Most recently, I joined a company about 2 years ago as an IC. I had originally turned down the role, but the CEO himself said he loved my background and “can do” attitude.

When I joined, my direct manager was later fired and I reported into an VP of a different department. I worked tirelessly to develop new strategies and programs and received good feedback. My 2025 performance rating “exceeds expectations”

I put together a tech debt roadmap and about 1.5 years into my tenure was asked to lead a new systems function. Initially I turned down this role because I get burned out by people leadership and politics and this was a brand new function. The folks on the team who would be my directs were poached from other teams. I was worried about morale and skill sets. I was also worried about establishing boundaries as I worked to develop new ways of working within this team. I had to. I was now tasked to oversee over 25 tools with 3 people.

Once I said no after deliberation—they ended up hiring a director for the role and this individual was terminated 3 months into their tenure.

Again, I was asked to take the team lead position and agreed. At the time, my VP, although not perfect, was somewhat supportive and gave me lots of autonomy.

First, the former director, a man, was let go and when they offered me the role they failed to disclose it was downgraded to a manager L2. Already I felt lied to and taken advantage of. My pay was 50k less than his.

This was all compounded by the fact I wasn’t aware one of my directs wanted the role and was told she couldn’t interview for it. She was very smart and did great work, but unfortunately turned in her notice 3 weeks later after I joined.

Fast forward to today and I was fired for “performance issues.” My original VP was let and 3 months ago they hired a new VP who made it her mission to micromanage me, isolate me and nitpick at my word choices. She said I had a poor attitude, didn’t deliver work and was “hurting morale” on the team.

I was and am devastated by this shift. I never received poor performance feedback and delivered over 3 major XFN projects , implemented 2 new enterprise systems since taking the role 6 months ago.

It’s important to mention that the scope of this team expanded significantly and I lost 2 strong ICs after said VP denied my request for promotions for these 2.

I asked why I was being let go and my VP said “performance related” but never provided constructive feedback. On 1:1s, she would often say things like “you act excited but I don’t see this in your work delivery.” “Your word choice in this slack is very rude.” “You send far too many slacks and I can’t trust you’re working or delivering”

I’ve been told before in my career that I’m too quiet and being too proactive can piss people off? I have no idea what I did!

I’m still numb from this shift and can’t help but assume I pissed this new VP off.

I feel like I can’t navigate politics or knowing when to speak up or not.

I could use some support from other women who are ND and have learned strategies to have stronger soft skills.

I’ve worked in SaaS Tech for the last 10 years. I’ve always tried to perform well, go above and beyond, remain technical while treating others with kindness. I know that relationships matter and despite my difficulties in reading social cues, try to learn the social hierarchy early on.

—

Most recently, I joined a company about 2 years ago as an IC. I had originally turned down the role, but the CEO himself said he loved my background and “can do” attitude.

When I joined, my direct manager was later fired and I reported into an VP of a different department. I worked tirelessly to develop new strategies and programs and received good feedback. My 2025 performance rating “exceeds expectations”

I put together a tech debt roadmap and about 1.5 years into my tenure was asked to lead a new systems function. Initially I turned down this role because I get burned out by people leadership and politics and this was a brand new function. The folks on the team who would be my directs were poached from other teams. I was worried about morale and skill sets. I was also worried about establishing boundaries as I worked to develop new ways of working within this team. I had to. I was now tasked to oversee over 25 tools with 3 people.

Once I said no after deliberation—they ended up hiring a director for the role and this individual was terminated 3 months into their tenure.

Again, I was asked to take the team lead position and agreed. At the time, my VP, although not perfect, was somewhat supportive and gave me lots of autonomy.

First, the former director, a man, was let go and when they offered me the role they failed to disclose it was downgraded to a manager L2. Already I felt lied to and taken advantage of. My pay was 50k less than his.

This was all compounded by the fact I wasn’t aware one of my directs wanted the role and was told she couldn’t interview for it. She was very smart and did great work, but unfortunately turned in her notice 3 weeks later after I joined.

Fast forward to today and I was fired for “performance issues.” My original VP was let and 3 months ago they hired a new VP who made it her mission to micromanage me, isolate me and nitpick at my word choices. She said I had a poor attitude, didn’t deliver work and was “hurting morale” on the team.

I was and am devastated by this shift. I never received poor performance feedback and delivered over 3 major XFN projects , implemented 2 new enterprise systems since taking the role 6 months ago.

It’s important to mention that the scope of this team expanded significantly and I lost 2 strong ICs after said VP denied my request for promotions for these 2.

I asked why I was being let go and my VP said “performance related” but never provided constructive feedback. On 1:1s, she would often say things like “you act excited but I don’t see this in your work delivery.” “Your word choice in this slack is very rude.” “You send far too many slacks and I can’t trust you’re working or delivering”

I’ve been told before in my career that I’m too quiet and being too proactive can piss people off? I have no idea what I did!

I’m still numb from this shift and can’t help but assume I pissed this new VP off.

I feel like I can’t navigate politics or knowing when to speak up or not.

I could use some support from other women who are ND and have learned strategies to have stronger soft skills.

I joined a tech company 2.5 years ago after being recruited multiple times by senior leadership.

I first joined one department as an IC and received really great performance reviews.

About 11 months ago I was offered the role of director for a brand new team within my department. Not understanding the role or scope I declined. At this point I’m on manager #5.

Fast forward to 6 months ago I was asked again to take the role after the director that came in was fired 3 months later.

Again I hesitated as I was somewhat aware of the challenges with the role. It was a HUGE scope with a very small team and an exiting VP. I reluctantly took the role.

Shortly after taking the position, my team had to execute on major project after project, and mind you—I was not the decision maker. Another SVP from a different department was given authority to call the shots on project decisions including a tool choice my team implemented.

Fast forward to now and my new VP blocked a critical backfill on my team. This person was a senior architect who worked at the company for 4 years. I knew this new VP didn’t like me and gave me strong feedback every week. Truly I couldn’t do anything right in her eyes. My slacks came off as “negative” I was “too wordy” or I didn’t format correctly. The list goes on..

I quit today. I was emotionally and physically exhausted working 65+ hours with what felt like impossible deadlines, managing over 20 tools with 3 people.

This new VP pinned so many disasters on me and suggested I was a poor people manager. My team is upset and I’ve lost all confidence.

Feeling absolutely gutted. It feels like I went from hero to zero here. Never been PIPed or fired in my life and I made the decision to leave to keep my dignity.

Hinge CEO discussing women increasingly identifying as bi-sexual. Is Queer culture pushing the fluidity concept or is it far-right men?

why do you think “more” women are identifying as bi-sexual?

Specifically, I’m looking to find a place that does a good digital perm if possible!

Thanks for the tips or recs in advance

Ideally I’d love to hear from pilots to ease my anxiety. I feel like I’m gonna pass out and mg heart rate is zone 5

DL0945