u/lesbiangothist

i'm moving to a big city soon for the first time of my life (berlin). i know it's different everywhere, but i was wondering wether you guys had some general advice on finding lesbian community i can relate to, dating and what not. in a big city like that it can feel anonymous and lonely quickly even with so many people around. i was in berlin once for a short time; a queer bar i went to was filled with mostly men, even though it was apparently a popular bar for lesbians too. there were also lots of tourists, and since i'm looking for a long term relationship that's not great for me. my hinge also showed way less women that are my type or that i relate to in terms of interests, probably bc there were way too many😭 in my small town, finding fellow goth lesbians seemed a lot easier, even though berlin has a big goth scene, so i was a bit confused.

to any of you who moved from a smaller town or city to a huge city, did dating and finding a nice lesbian community get easier for you or harder?

at my usual coffee place there is a really cute barista, but i have no idea how people would go about talking to someone who is literally in the middle of work.. i don't have any experience working in gastro or anything like that, i don't even know wether she would be allowed to give me her number while working. i also don't want to be inappropriate or put her on the spot with so many people around... being creepy and waiting around for her to be on her break doesn't seem like a great idea either lol. if any of you have been in a situation like this, how did you handle it smoothly?

i hate wearing bras (i'm an AA cup) so i often just wear tank tops, but none of the tank tops i own feel safe enough. especially when i bend down, you can often just see everything :,( i've tried xxs from h&m and urban so far, as well as one size brandy melville ones. i haven't tried child sizes yet because i'm worried they would end up being too short/cropped, i don't really like crop tops. i like tops that cover my whole torso (i'm 168cm and have a normal length torso, maybe a bit longer).

especially since it's starting to be really warm outside, i want to wear tank tops only when i go out without having to worry about nip slips! i don't want to have to rely on nipple covers either i just want a good tank top PLEASE!!

i've only ever been able to do quick tags but i'm an artist and yearn for big murals. unfortunately i'm a scrawny woman with little strength or stamina, which makes it hard to overcome my fear of getting caught. i don't think i'd be able to outrun cops lmao. if anybody has tips on being safe and overcoming this anxiety, or maybe tips on how to safe more time while spraying i'd highly appreciate it :)