u/WindOfChange_398

I would hear there is a difference when it comes to dating women who are exclusively into women so I am wondering in what way?When it comes to a committed monogamous relationship. Is there more love and affection expressed by a lesbian? When it comes to long term future planning, sex,being in touch ,attachment styles, gentleness.

I dated both. I was just with one lesbian who would make me feel loved, treat me like a kid, keep on kissing me, calling me babyish names, would initiate sex, would want to text, wouldn't like going a day without texting, would be afraid of losing me, would continuously admire me, in person it was like she couldn't take her hands off me, would care when I was bothered, send me my favourite foods, want to cook for me, would play with my hair when I would lie on her lap, would like to pick me up, would cuddle me, and was very good at sex, knew what i liked, she would comfort me when I had panic attacks, immediately calm me down, she would sometimes cry if I wasn't ok and show concern.

When it came to bi women my experiences weren't good. As in theg ended up cheating with men and were like I am bi, what you expect. When it came to sex personally I didn't really enjoy it compared to the others. The others led me on but said they can only see themselves with a man long term. The fifth one I was with seemed into me, reassured me she won't get back to men then ghosted. She would be inconsistent when it came to texting, she would keep focusing on going slow.

I felt maybe it's the individual at the same time I can't help comparing these experiences and wondering if it is connected to identity ? I don't want to generalise and I know I'll come across as 'biphobic' but these real life experiences i can't just forget and i would naturally be confused.

Those who prefer are called biphobic often. But have come across straight men who prefer straight women, they don't get criticised , the same with gay men who prefer a gay man.

I have also heard there is a difference when it comes to women who exclusively love women, and i am wondering if there is, and if so then in what way?

I myself am a lesbian

At a cafe, romantic Bollywood songs are playing . I am sitting alone the next table is a couple on a date ( or married ) very pretty lady in a saree, amazing slim figure, lovely voice and with that man 😓

All a queer woman can do is yearn from a distance .

Drooling over tall, slim women in sarees ,with long wavy hair, sharp collarbones, long earrings, pretty eyes🥹

Watching Musafir cafe. I kept drooling over Sudha, especially seeing her figure in those sarees. Plus the way she loved him, looked at him tenderly, would miss him, reassure him and communicate with him , I don't know why i just started wanting these and wishing it happened in my past relationship / situationship..I just can't help wishing i was in Chander's place. I literally am trying to control crying, I am shaking and my heart is bearing faster, I just get relieved when one series is ending. I just keep longing to be in his place, that was exactly the kind of love I crave for and I got the opposite. I don't know how I'll survive this. I know it sounds dramatic and I don't know why it's affecting me so much. Plus I have to finish watching as i have to work on it. I just want a pretty woman to look at me lovingly, miss me, I just want to feel her soft hands, and soft lips. Men can just easily get it plus they can marry the one they love. And it's so easy to find someone. I am into femme women and I'm femme and just want a lesbian so that's literally impossible. It gets depressing seeing it and knowing I may not get it. I have never actually been loved , just been love bombed probably and ghosted which gets triggering when I see this it's like no one will miss me and I am just not enough. I am a hopeless romantic and do anything for the person I am in love with. I just wish i didn't keep craving this. The last person I was with just ghosted me and said she is uncomfortable with my texts and now seeing those scenes I don't know why I was comparing and it's the opposite like I feel no one will wait for my texts, wait to see me, think about me but it's literally the opposite.

That would happen with me with any hetero romance, even Odessey. I don't want to want love but can't help. I see a feminine, slim, toned woman with wavy hair, pretty eyes and soft skin i can't help but yearn. I don't know how to get over this. The loneliness and yearning and jealousy is unbearable.

Priya_dupare.

Started randomly texting me all kinds of sexual stuff. Claims to be a man but who wants to be a woman and found me from a lesbian sub.

I am very feminine presenting and according to patriarchal conditioning it's linked with liking men. I want to signal that I'm for the girls. So I'm looking for a bracelet with lesbian flag colours. A fine type. I thought of something metal so I won't need to remove it. I know someone who makes it from one lesbian subreddit but they live abroad. Any idea where I can get something like that?

I am in my late 20s, have just been with one woman. There are very few chances of me finding a partner. I can't do casual, as I feel attached soon , am monogamous and want a romantic love storyI have a high libido.And feel frustrated a lot. Also the only time I got intimacy was when I was with my ex which lasted about 6 months, and we broke up 2 years back. Plus I'm femme4femme and les4les which all the more makes it harder and I've always only been into women older than me. And I have heard that when women reach 40 their sex drive reduces a lot. So the thought of me being alone plus never getting sex makes me anxious. I don't want to sound like a pervert so sex obsessed person, I am not I keep wishing i was asexual but I can't help it. I often avoid hetero romance shows because I get frustrated and start yearning.

Men can just easily get loved and at times they just have to exist for it. And the bar is also so low they are appreciated for the bare minimum. Men just easily marry their crush and get to spend the rest of their lives with them. They can easily get a pretty, hot and feminine woman who loves them and wants to be with them forever. They don't go a moment without feeling unloved. Like every moment of theirs they are given attention, taken care of and feel loved. Apart from the sexual aspect.

They don't really feel sexually frustrated and touch and love starved.

Their dating pool is big like 95% of the women are straight and even the queer women mostly choose them.

In public if they see a woman they are attracted to they can just approach them and start a love story.

They can actually have a child 50/50 with them and the person they love. Sexually also they get to experience feelings women can't or be that close to her.

They get someone who is really attractive and exclusively attracted to their gender And all lesbians get is yearning the rest of their lives, not knowing if they will find love. Worse when they are attracted to the hyper feminine type of women.

Have come across female teachers in school to be nicer towards the boys. When a boy was caught coping one teacher smiled at him but yelled at a girl who did the same. Happened more than once. The same way she made a girl redo a test, while a boy had written way less and again she just laughed and allowed him to go freely. I read on reddit about one person who got a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet the prime minister, and it was a female who was on the list but the teacher pushed for him to get.

Among families, I have seen and heard of mothers being more affectionate towards sons, saying they need more affection than girls and that having a boy gives a feeling of true love and a girl is usually responsibility and the love they feel for a son doesn't compare ( a lot of these words are from what i have seen on Instagram from boy moms, child therapists, parenting coaches )

In some cases have seen the father behave in a more gentle way towards a daughter while they are strict with their son

When it comes to the famous mother in law daughter in law rivalry , it's hardly between a mother in law and son in law or father in law and son in law. It's usually the mothers who are shown as being possessive towards the sons and seeing the daughter in law as a threat.

Have even been told it's very natural for people to be nicer automatically towards the opposite gender , for example when it comes to a female driving instructor yelling more at a woman than a man, and female bosses behaving horribly towards female employees and not helping them while they are nice towards male employees.

Have also seen among female friends a lot of their friendships break over a guy, in some situations even if a guy has done wrong they defend them and put the woman down even if it's a friend or family member

Is it like how they say in the ads?

Looking for a henna which is very effective. Brownish colour, which doesn't make the hair rough. Actually which makes the hair smooth and reduces dandruff. Which makes the hair smell good would be nice.

If y'all know can you tell me how long I need to keep it for it to be effective and to get the colour?

I want to reduce dandruff and I wish I could colour my hair but it will be rough so henna would be a good option I feel. ( I don't want my hair to turn orange)

I do not know why I do not have any interest in mlm shows and even feel uncomfortable. Even when it comes to reading books. I've tried to stop it but can't. It's not homophobia. But just some discomfort I always felt. Even in person when I hear my gay male friends talking about their crushes or partners ( most of them share graphic details as well) i sometimes link it to gay men easily getting love and also accepted and representation in the media. And people saying things like gay relationships last longest and lesbians less as it's two women so there won't be love. But even apart from that i just don't have any interest in watching romantic shows like hearstopper or those cute love stories. A lot of my queer friends love it and irl love shipping couples even then I don't show interest when they talk about how cute a gay couple is or when they ship some of our friends among gay men. I have had bad experiences with gay men as well like the misogyny and way too often seen differences between them and lesbians like even in the dating groups there are few queer women and it's mostly the gay men flirting with each other.

Also actor was rated as sexiest man alive and he is gay my first thought was why it's not that way for a lesbian.

Please don't judge me I do not know why i feel that way. When it's a lesbian romance. however i just melt and will watch anything boring just to see a wlw scene. But when it comes to mlm i always felt nothing or discomfort from the beginning.

I do not know why I do not have any interest in mlm shows and even feel uncomfortable. Even when it comes to reading books. I've tried to stop it but can't. It's not homophobia. But just some discomfort I always felt. Even in person when I hear my gay male friends talking about their crushes or partners ( most of them share graphic details as well) i sometimes link it to gay men easily getting love and also accepted and representation in the media. And people saying things like gay relationships last longest and lesbians less as it's two women so there won't be love. But even apart from that i just don't have any interest in watching romantic shows like hearstopper or those cute love stories. A lot of my queer friends love it and irl love shipping couples even then I don't show interest when they talk about how cute a gay couple is or when they ship some of our friends among gay men. I have had bad experiences with gay men as well like the misogyny and way too often seen differences between them and lesbians like even in the dating groups there are few queer women and it's mostly the gay men flirting with each other.

Also actor was rated as sexiest man alive and he is gay my first thought was why it's not that way for a lesbian.

Please don't judge me I do not know why i feel that way. When it's a lesbian romance. however i just melt and will watch anything boring just to see a wlw scene. But when it comes to mlm i always felt nothing or discomfort from the beginning.

​

It's been 6 months and I cannot get over a girl I met over a dating app. I was already scared of trusting anyone after almost two years of being single. I took time to trust her due to my bad experiences in the past with dating. I am lesbian. She is bisexual.

She brought flowers for me, used to initiate the conversation and talk the most. At one point she was talking against avoidants and i told her I wished I was that way so i couldn't get hurt and she just said something that implied to be open to trusting. On our third date she held my hand and blushed and said she has never felt safer around anyone before. I told her I had bad experiences and needed time so I was trying to keep a distance. She appeared to understand. It was at a concert and we had a really lovely time as she was holding onto me throughout and made sure I was ok asked me if I felt safe. She introduced me to her friends and met my friends.

When I told her I am developing feelings for her she told me it's the same for her but to go slow as she has baggage and can be very mean.

She used to keep telling me how pretty I am and she would feel out of my league. We would continuously hold hands and flirt, we were like Morticia and Gomez Addams.

She was strong and made me feel safe and cared for. I actually felt motivated to become the best version of myself. I would feel foolish thinking anyone would fall for me, which she knew and she seemed surprised and told me that she was surprised at the fact that I was single and she told her friends I'm too pretty and she has no chances with me

She reassured me ( without me asking her) that she knows my fears and difficult trusting others and will never get back to men. And wants a relationship but to be friends first before getting into a relationship as she said when things get intense it gets bad and told me she had intense feelings with her ex boyfriends and it didn't end well.

Suddenly a day after a romantic valentine's day, she stopped answering my calls and texts and after two weeks she told me she is uncomfortable with my calls and texts and not to contact her. One of my friends told me that she told her friends when she was drunk that she cannot commit to me and something that she likes men as well so will need men. It's been six months I have been suffering to the point of getting sleepless night taking anti depressants I feel I'm not lovable or enough for a woman to want a relationship with me. I had bad experiences about 5 times with women who eventually wanted a man. Two of them cheated on me with a man, ( one of them who claimed to be a lesbian )the others led me on when they actually didn't see a future with a woman. I just wish I was a man just to be loved by a woman. I see women who miss their boyfriends ,long for them, wait for their texts, want to marry them and here it's like i was just discarded like some garbage.

I'm femme and only into very feminine types. This woman was exactly my type physically and intellectually . Would be drawn to her flavoured lipsticks and fruity perfumes. . I trusted her with a lot of difficulty and it's all gone. I tried my best to move on but nothing seems to work. I just can't figure out what happened and feel I'm not enough. I have been feeling I'm unattractive , repelling and unlovable and will never be enough compared to her male exs or the guys she will be with

.The night after our first kiss, she texted me saying "i really loved tonight, hope we have more such amazing memories. " So I cannot process what has happened and my health has suffered, there were multiple times i did not feel like living, but stayed just because of my career, otherwise the pain is unbearable no matter how much i try to move on. I'm also autistic which probably explains it. I wish I didn't crave to be loved by a woman. I just wish I was completely fine being alone forever and didn't have crushes on women.

No matter how much i tried to move on, i just can't and keep going back to it or i suddenly wake up from my sleep dreaming of her reaching out to me. I overthink alot already and have kept going back to what was wrong with me. I cannot trust anyone again and feel I'm not meant for love. I just feel I'm easily replaceable , easy to forget and it just won't make a difference to anyone.

The worst is she doesn't care whether I'm dead or alive. And that just makes me hate myself more. Now it is one of the nights i can't even get sleep because of this. I have isolated myself from my friends because of the pain.

Just been longing for that kind of love, loyalty and attachment. And experiences proved the opposite. I just want someone who waits for me, wants to show me love, wants a future with me, and reassures me.

Not related but Anne Hathaway my major crushe doesn't make it any better lol 😂

​

It's been 6 months and I cannot get over a girl I met over a dating app. I was already scared of trusting anyone after almost two years of being single. I took time to trust her due to my bad experiences in the past with dating. I am lesbian. She is bisexual.

She brought flowers for me, used to initiate the conversation and talk the most. At one point she was talking against avoidants and i told her I wished I was that way so i couldn't get hurt and she just said something that implied to be open to trusting. On our third date she held my hand and blushed and said she has never felt safer around anyone before. I told her I had bad experiences and needed time so I was trying to keep a distance. She appeared to understand. It was at a concert and we had a really lovely time as she was holding onto me throughout and made sure I was ok asked me if I felt safe. She introduced me to her friends and met my friends.

When I told her I am developing feelings for her she told me it's the same for her but to go slow as she has baggage and can be very mean.

She used to keep telling me how pretty I am and she would feel out of my league. We would continuously hold hands and flirt, we were like Morticia and Gomez Addams.

She was strong and made me feel safe and cared for. I actually felt motivated to become the best version of myself. I would feel foolish thinking anyone would fall for me, which she knew and she seemed surprised and told me that she was surprised at the fact that I was single and she told her friends I'm too pretty and she has no chances with me

She reassured me ( without me asking her) that she knows my fears and difficult trusting others and will never get back to men. And wants a relationship but to be friends first before getting into a relationship as she said when things get intense it gets bad and told me she had intense feelings with her ex boyfriends and it didn't end well.

Suddenly a day after a romantic valentine's day, she stopped answering my calls and texts and after two weeks she told me she is uncomfortable with my calls and texts and not to contact her. One of my friends told me that she told her friends when she was drunk that she cannot commit to me and something that she likes men as well so will need men. It's been six months I have been suffering to the point of getting sleepless night taking anti depressants I feel I'm not lovable or enough for a woman to want a relationship with me. I had bad experiences about 5 times with women who eventually wanted a man. Two of them cheated on me with a man, ( one of them who claimed to be a lesbian )the others led me on when they actually didn't see a future with a woman. I just wish I was a man just to be loved by a woman. I see women who miss their boyfriends ,long for them, wait for their texts, want to marry them and here it's like i was just discarded like some garbage.

I'm femme and only into very feminine types. This woman was exactly my type physically and intellectually . Would be drawn to her flavoured lipsticks and fruity perfumes. . I trusted her with a lot of difficulty and it's all gone. I tried my best to move on but nothing seems to work. I just can't figure out what happened and feel I'm not enough. I have been feeling I'm unattractive , repelling and unlovable and will never be enough compared to her male exs or the guys she will be with .The night after our first kiss, she texted me saying "i really loved tonight, hope we have more such amazing memories. " So I cannot process what has happened and my health has suffered, there were multiple times i did not feel like living, but stayed just because of my career, otherwise the pain is unbearable no matter how much i try to move on. I'm also autistic which probably explains it. I wish I didn't crave to be loved by a woman. I just wish I was completely fine being alone forever and didn't have crushes on women.

No matter how much i tried to move on, i just can't and keep going back to it or i suddenly wake up from my sleep dreaming of her reaching out to me. I overthink alot already and have kept going back to what was wrong with me. I cannot trust anyone again and feel I'm not meant for love. I just feel I'm easily replaceable , easy to forget and it just won't make a difference to anyone.

The worst is she doesn't care whether I'm dead or alive. And that just makes me hate myself more. Now it is one of the nights i can't even get sleep because of this. I have isolated myself from my friends because of the pain.

If you're feminine and only into very feminine women ( lipstick lesbians) and les4les ,how and where do you find women?

Apps are filled with straight men ,unicorn hunters , and women who aren't serious about another woman.

That too if you can't do casual and just want to be loved by a beautiful lesbian who actually wants to be only with you for life.