How's the dating scene going for you girls?

Being a stone femme, or pillow princess, and using the dating apps is actually terrible. I’m not femme4femme, there are virtually 0 butch-identifying people on them, and I get so many likes from weird cis-men with lesbian kinks that sneak through the apps screening cracks.

It really bothers me. I think I’m also feeling bitter because last weekend, 3 dykes were surprised I was a lesbian. I am the poster child of a femme lesbian, tattoos, eyebrow and nose piercings, rings, loud. I don’t know what is happening… the internet’s, specifically TikTok’s, lesbian community has really set a standard.

I’m gay! I’m a stone femme!!! I don’t have to explain that to anyone.

My gf (27) and I (29) have been together for 7 months now. We got along fairly well in the beginning. We keep having a reoccurring arguments where I am asking for more space and she’s saying I’m pushing her away.

I did note that I kinda am but I’m not sure why that is. I get irritated when she asks me to do things but I think it’s the way she asks. She tells me “you need to do this” or “you have to do it”. I’ve asked her not to and she fixed that. I’m not quick to give up my alone time. I just got my own place, my first place and when we go into the argument because she’s thinking about marriage and she mentioned she wanted to be living with her partner in 2 years. I just got my first place not a year in and I’m reluctant to even consider living together. Not for any particular reason other than it’s my own. I want to experience living alone for several years and to give it up in what would now be less than 2 years sounds horrible.

I like her a lot but I’m not sure if I see us long term but I’m not sure why. Like I can’t put my finger on it. But I feel wrong for keeping the relationship going if I’m unsure about the future.

It took me a long time to accept the fact that I’m trans, I’ve struggled with my genitalia since I was kid, I’ve always felt like a girl, I loved playing with the other girls at school, and I’ve always loved make up and just expressing myself in a feminine way, and y’all know how kids are, I got brutally bullied throughout my school years. When I came out to my friends and family they were all confused at first bc of my sexuality but most of them accepted me. My dating life is basically non existent, as a trans lesbian I’ve never had the confidence to ask other girls out, idk, I’m just a bit shy. Plus, I’m scared since I’ve heard stories about other girls being shamed/discriminated against for being trans. I’ve been depressed lately bc I feel so lonely sometimes. I was hoping to meet someone online but I haven’t had any luck as most subs I’ve found are transphobic.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years. I am no contact with my family that will never accept me and have basically disowned me. My girlfriend has a relationship with her family; but they don't accept us and basically just pretend like Iike I don't exist.

My girlfriend is convinced they will come around one day and wants a relationship with them desperately, which I understand and support.

Recently when we talk about getting married her response is she won't get married until her family is supportive of us and will be there. I don't see this ever happening, and after 7 years I'm at the point where I want to seriously start thinking about getting married.

Am I crazy for feeling like this is a reason to consider leaving over this? When I bring it up I get hit with "we're happy now so why mess it up with talking about a hypothetical marriage?" And just "One day it'll happen"

Getting back into dating after being single for a while and man is it discouraging!

People on apps not answering, some people not really knowing how to have conversations when we do have a date??!!?? I didn’t expect this to be what dating in my late 20s would be like. And duh, nobody has to want to get to know me! It has just been an interesting and confusing experience.

I think I’m pretty attractive, funny, and generally earnest (especially so w/ dating) & I know there are a lot of fish in the sea but I would like to catch one of them soon :( I guess I’m just wondering if it’s rough out there for everyone else, or if maybe this is a wake up call and i need to figure out what my issue is lol

this doesn’t mean I’m the most perfect version of myself. but I feel ready. I’m ready. I don’t want to even have the label girlfriend anymore. I want a wife, and I want to be a wife. I know of course relationships take time; I don’t wish to rush at all. I guess I haven’t figured out how to explain it better. I’m ready. I just have to meet her. She has to be out there. I’ve had such awful luck in love and I seem to not vibe with most people so I’m not entirely convinced that she is out there but I say she has to be because I have always been such a lover and a fighter, and I have so much love that there is no way I can’t share it and my life with another woman. I have so much love to share and I wanna give it all to my wife.

So today, something very typical and stupid lesbian behavior happened with me at the gym 😭

I usually go to the gym in the morning, but somehow today I ended up going in the evening. There were only 4 women working out there, and one girl started working out next to me and i was genuinely trying to be respectful and make space for her to work out comfortably beside me (we are gentlewoman masc lesbians)

It was my back & biceps day, and usually I do them separately, but because she was there, I ended up combining both workouts together just to stay with her in the gym.
Meanwhile, she was also lowkey checking me out while talking to her boyfriend (I guess) on call😈

And now it’s late night, and I’m sitting here applying pain relief ointment on my wrist & arm because I overdid my biceps for absolutely no reason😭

hi guys,

so i have a bad social anxiety and one part of my life that my anxiety affecting lately is going to sapphic events. Previously i got hit on by other women in the clubs/parties/events etc and it is always making me super anxious and i eventually just runaway without even forming a proper converstion. Can you guys maybe tell me your stories or help me understand what happens, what is the expected thing from me, does it form into anything else? I also get super shy when this happens and i need to contuniu the night/day in the same space as them. If i feel less anxious if i would mind my business there alone but i also wanna talk to people in theory, its just the reality making me feel cold towards sapphic events because of being that at the edge all the time

I'm a bit slow with understanding social cues as well so i really appricate some help :/

I am extremely self conscious of my snoring. I have a CPAP which is the least attractive thing. Do others mind someone with a CPAP?

Seems there are naturally differing views among different generations about butch or femme as an identity. And there’s some new vocabulary. How do you identify? Is Butch/Femme part of your identity?

hey girls, i need some help, some advice, idk.

I'm 25yo and i've always knew i was a lesbian. for family and religion reasons, I waited until i was 23 yo to come out.

I consider myself a soft femme/tomboy femme. I have 3 piercings and shaggy hair, and for some reason, men keep talking to me as if they have a chance. I work on a close-minded company where women should wear skirts and high heels, which i dont but i dont have much space to be myself here.

I'm considering cutting my hair really short and going all the way desfem to try repelling men.

any advices?

edit: heyy, thanks for all the comments! theyre really insightful and gave me a new perspective that i dont have to change myself. the haircut is something i really wanna do for my 26 birthday in july, so maybe in a few months i'll be back to show you all my new appearance. stay safe girls!

Any of you in relationships get people assuming you're mother and daughter even if there's no big age gap?

It's REALLY starting to wear on my self esteem. I'm 36, and my wife is 33. We got together when we were 24 and 21. This has happened multiple times.

Accompanied my wife to her doctor's appointment when I was in my 20s. Nurse walks in and introduces herself and then asks "and is this mom?" Wanted to die.

Another time, we went to the ER vet with our cat. We got the notes back (I keep vet notes), and the notes said "Owner was present with daughter."

One other time, I was making an appointment at the dentist for myself and the receptionist asked if my daughter needed one, too.

I mean, wtf. I sometimes still get carded for alcohol. Admittedly, my wife looks much younger than her age but STILL even if someone thought she was 25, I'm not old enough to have a child that age. It makes me wonder whether I actually look 50+ or something.

Heyy (V38 fem Noord Brabant) hoe leren jullie nieuwe vrouwen kennen? Zoe en Bumble werkt voor mij niet, en met de scammers erbij op de apps wordt het er niet makkelijker op. Hebben jullie tips? Community, discord? Stuur gerust een dm

i’ve been in love with one of my good friends for a while now. she was actually the person who made me realize i was queer. she’s queer too and just… amazing. she’s beautiful and funny and so so so cool. she catches me off guard with the things she says all the time, she remembers the smallest things i’ve said. when she talks i can feel myself hanging on to every word. i moved away from her and i see her everywhere in my new city - in the cafes i think of what pastry she would like, i think of how she would take so many pictures of this and that or find this one thing so funny.
when i got my nose pierced, she came and held my hand the entire time. her hugs are the best hugs. i think im in love with her maybe. i know for sure that i really like her.

but i dont see us ever being in a successful relationship. i tend to overthink everything so maybe i’ve just talked myself into this but here’s why. i know she doesn’t like me like that, i dont even think she considers me as close of a friend as i consider her. im also a newly queer practicing muslim and while i know that shouldn’t stop me from finding love and companionship, im still trying to figure it out and i dont think a relationship is the best place to do that right now. im a hot ass mess right now and i just don’t think it’d be fair. maybe that’s a little self deprecating idk. lastly i don’t want to risk the friendship we have built if we try a relationship and it doesn’t work out. we have a bunch of shared friends and we went to college together. i’ve always practiced no dating within friend groups because i’ve seen how messy it can be.

sooooo my question is how do i stop liking this girl? do i stop liking this girl? i feel like i need to move on if i’ve already come to this confusion but it’s been going on a year and i still find myself pining after her.

I’m cute, but I’m not like “everyone stop what they’re doing and turn their heads to look at this absolutely stunning creature that just walked in”. But I’ve had such a glow up in my 30s and my late 30s have been even glowier lol and I am also so much more comfortable in my skin and it shows.

Today I went for lunch with a friend and we had already ordered but I went up to order another side and this butch (looked to be in their late 40s) stood behind me in line to get something and was so unnecessarily close 😂 (but not creepy) and then complimented my hair. Then they were like “you look really cute. I mean…not ‘cute’ but like nice. You look goo-you look pretty” like stumbling over their words lolol it was so cute. Ive been actively trying to give off the aura of “massive dyke” whether I’m dressed femme or tomboy, so a random lesbian hitting on me in a random restaurant in the middle of the day felt amazing 🙌🏾

I genuinely want to know, when lesbians text us on Reddit, to know us, be friends, or even just say Hi, do they actually want to talk and build a conversation and connection ? Or they just send messages casually without really wanting the other person to reply or show interest back?
Because honestly, I am very confuse right now.

I’m a very low-earner and moving to a new apartment about $130 more expensive than my current one.

My partner (high earner) offered to help me with $80 a month until I’m a bit more settled financially.

I really feel guilty for taking her money and was wondering what I could offer in return that would ease my guilt a bit?

I suggested I could clean her place once a month, but she didn’t like the idea, because she fears it can create an unhealthy dynamic between us.

Any other ideas?

For context: we‘ve been together 5 years and originally wanted to move in together, but our city has an insane rental market deficit and my partner lives in a rent-controlled 1br, so it makes more sense for us to live in 2 small separate apartments close to each other, than together in a bigger and 3x more expensive apartment.

For comparison, the rent of both our 1br apartments together (incl. utilities, internet, etc) will still be about $300 lower than a 2br in our neighborhood.