r/LGBTindia

Being in thirties and alone sucks, i know this post might might be removed in few hours. Just wanted someone to hear me.

I am curious how everyone feels about this and how other people's experience has been like..

But my experience and feeling so far is that in the community everyone is kinda pushed to the edge with no support from the society and the family and they instinctively try to find it in other people on the community but people in the community in general are the most toxic who are all "fair weather friends", who are there for you to party and have fun but nobody is there for you in any real way... And the moment you will ask anyone for anything they will chicken out... And they are definitely not the people you can count on for anything....

Like most people won't even bother if you are going through anything, few will say words that sound nice but are fluff that don't mean anything and will not be there for you in any real and meaningful way for anything... And are *only* looking for sex and hookups...

At the end you have to find your own support system outside the community to exist... And many straight friends are wayyyyy better and kinder and more empathetic and there for you in ways that community people just aren't...

Just wanted to put this out and kinda ask how has your experience been like so far.. and whom do you count on for emotional and psychological support if any. Like mental health issues are crazy in this community there is a reason for that...

So I have pretty weird/vivid dreams sometimes, and about 4- 5 weeks ago I had one that I completely forgot about until a few days ago.
In the dream, I was visiting my hometown, just like I am right now. I randomly met some guy who was apparently a gay friend from my hometown. I had no idea who he was IRL, obviously.
We started talking and he was telling me about the gay culture in our town and how apparently a bunch of people from my old school had come out since I left. Then he mentioned two guys from my school.
One of them was a friend I’m actually still pretty close with. Let’s call him MJ. We’ve known each other forever from school, coaching, sports, everything. Whenever we’re both back home, we usually hang out.
The second guy was basically an NPC in my life. We weren’t even close in school and haven’t really spoken since. We’re just connected on Instagram.
Anyway, fast forward to 3–4 days ago.
I get a message on Grindr from someone who sends me his album.
And guess who it was?
MJ
I genuinely froze for a second because this wasn’t just some random coincidence. I’d literally dreamed a few weeks earlier about him being one of the guys from my school who was gay.
And it gets weirder.
I hadn’t shared my own album yet. But he somehow knew it was me. He started texting me personal stuff like my university, work city etc. basically things that made it very obvious he knew exactly who I was.
He locked his album almost immediately, so I just told him I hadn’t seen it and ignored the rest of his messages.
I thought that would be the end of it.
Nope.
A little later, he called me and asked me to meet him along with another school friend, SK. SK is actually pretty close to me too we hang out almost daily whenever I’m back home.
So the three of us met that evening.
And this is where it got REALLY uncomfortable.
MJ apparently still thought I had no idea that he was the guy from the app.
During the normal conversation, he kept subtly bringing up gay/bisexual stuff. He had apparently spent around two years in Noida for some course, so he started talking about the gay culture there too.
Then the conversation got progressively more explicit.
He started talking about sexual stuff, including how people there apparently don’t care about experimenting, how even straight guys supposedly have sex with other guys, etc.
I was just sitting there thinking bro what the fuck are we doing right now 😭
Then he literally said something along the lines of:
“Kal ko [my name] ko bhi ladke pasand honge toh humein kya farak padega?”
And later he casually dropped:
“Aaj mere ghar pe koi nahi hai, teenon nightout karte hain.”
At that point I was extremely uncomfortable.
The worst part is that this isn’t some random guy I met online. This is someone I’ve known for years. Someone I regularly hang out with whenever we’re both in town.
And on Grindr he had already been telling me I was “hot” and stuff, while apparently thinking I didn’t know it was him.
I don’t have an issue with him being gay/bi or whatever his sexuality is. That’s not the point at all.
The problem is that he kept putting me on the spot with increasingly sexual conversations and comments without knowing whether I was even comfortable with that, while I was sitting there knowing exactly where all of this was coming from.
It genuinely creeped me out.
Like bro… you really didn’t have to do all that 😭

Context - https://www.reddit.com/r/LGBTindia/s/J88ZuIKtX9

My parents don't call me anymore with my guy name since last year (after coming out)

It's been almost 1 year since they have been calling me everyday with my name's feminine version (like instead of Shiv they call me Shivani, just an example not my real name though)

A place for random discussions and casual chats.

Be civil, No NSFW, follow the general rules.

Do not post "looking for" requests here, post them in the Queer Connect thread

Okay sounds desperate but idk he wasn’t in my head most the times it’s been like 3 months but ….just a few days ago I matches on tinder with my ex’s friend which I though was his friend but when I talked to the guy it was his bf so my ex was in a double relationship…that should make me hate him but for the past couple of days it’s like I’ve been under some spells that I miss him and want to get back with him even after knowing he is a cheater . I’ve gone as far as contacting my assamise friend to use some magic and trying to follow his private account from my spam id ..how . Do .i . Get .him .back

Entire days goes in travelling.. office.. having straight friends who are already settled & much ahead of me in life. No one in real life with whom I can share my feelings. Never into relationship. Online friends are temporary..

I had an exposure on July 31. Which HIV test should I get, and when should I get tested? Also, where can I get this test done? Is it available at regular blood-testing labs, such as Pathkind Labs?

Mine accepted me but said stay however you feel comfortable (like you can wear whatever dresses you wish 24×7) but only at home, not outside home until you get a decent job I'm studying in clg right now also to not reveal with relatives/cousins and whenever someone visits our home change your outfit to that of like a guy (rarely people visit our home like once or twice a month at max if anyone)

Also their behaviour towards me didn't change after coming out they are still treating me same as before

Yesterday Night I was active on grindr and I was talking to a hunk in noida who asked me to come over for Hookup. He was working in a MNC and was well built actually so I got all turned on.

I went to his place and we were talking and he asked if he wanted to try threesomes. It was always my fantasy to try and guess what he lived in a 3 bhk apartment with 2 other guys both bisexual or Idk even. I did it with these three though initially I said no and but later I enjoyed it so much and one of the dudes did it without condom and I guess he did release inside too.

It was fun but now I am scared the fuck out what to do 😭 these guys did used blinds on me what if they recorded though all was consensual.

Hello,

I am a white boy from France. I’ve recently become interested in India, its people, culture, and the Hindi language. I’m writing to ask: where should I start learning about India? Do Indian people generally like people like me?

Do you have some advices? (I should mention that I am gay and quite androgynous.) I’ve often read that homosexuality has to be kept secret there, which is something I intend to do.

Also, is there a platform for chatting with friendly pen pals that could help me learn Hindi?

Thanks for your replies.

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I’m a 20-year-old gay guy in college, and I genuinely wonder how people find someone they can build a real, long-term relationship with.

Being gay sometimes makes it feel harder because there are fewer people to meet, and it’s not always obvious who’s interested in guys. Most of the time, I’m just focused on classes and life, but I still find myself wondering where meaningful relationships actually start.

Is college a good place to meet someone? Dating apps? Friends? Pure luck?

For gay men who found a long-term partner, how did you meet them, and what advice would you give to a 20-year-old who's looking for something real?