u/Purple_Fill_2703

Being in thirties and alone sucks, i know this post might might be removed in few hours. Just wanted someone to hear me.

I’m 31M, biromantic, unmarried. I am more inclined towards women than men. I carry so many insecurities that sometimes I feel crushed by them.

People keep asking me when I’ll get married, why I’m still single, when I’ll “settle down.” I smile it off, but inside I feel this quiet shame.

The truth is I’ve spent most of my life just trying to survive. Financial struggles took years from me. Only in the last 2 years did I get a stable job. I earn decently now, but I’m still barely managing month to month. My savings are small. I don’t feel like someone who is “ready” to build a life with another person.

And it’s not just money.

My health isn’t great. I have digestive issues after losing my gallbladder. I have male pattern baldness. I’m not fit, not muscular, just an average looking guy.

And something I’ve hardly told anyone — I have erectile dysfunction. Even writing that makes me feel exposed. Pills sometimes help but come with side effects. It makes me feel broken in a way that’s hard to explain.

I’ve also struggled mentally. Mild depression before, anxiety even now, and I can be emotionally unstable.

And then there’s being biromantic. It’s not something I’m ashamed of, but I worry if I ever fall for a woman and tell her, or tell her I have queer friends, she may doubt me or not trust me.

Sometimes I meet a kind, beautiful woman and for a second I feel hope.

Then all these thoughts flood in—

What can I offer her?

Money? Not much.

Looks? Not really.

Health? Not great.

Sex? Even that feels uncertain.

Stability? I’m trying.

Apart from love… what do I really have?

And I just back away before anything begins.

It hurts because I do want love. I want partnership. I want to be chosen.

But often I feel like I’m asking for something I have too little to deserve.

I’m not looking for advice. I know I’m working on things slowly. I hope life will be kinder in a few years.

I think I’m just lonely.

I wish I had someone — even just a friend — who could sit beside me through this without judging me for being this scared, this fragile, this inadequate. Who might have also faced some of these things and she/he can understand what it feels like.

If anyone relates, I’d like to hear from you.