r/ThirtiesIndia

Hi ,

l had a typical lower middle class child hood where Mom would beat me up for doing wrong and Father would scare to study,

Although they were not wrong as we had very less re sources in terms of money, But There was stress and were times where I felt living alone is always a better choice,

Fast forward to now , I am a pretty calm guy 80 percent of times, doing well , financially , Hit Gym, do Runs ,

I work from Home and work is kind of stress full involves learning new things ,

I do a lot on home part as wife is working like helping in almost everything till kid goes to school, then drop wife nearby metro etc then come home,
pick her in evening, etc

so full day is literally packed ,

Now I am good with kid but sometimes when she doesn’t drink milk or throwing tantrums I feel sudden anger , it is controlled but continuous tantrums sometimesI lose my voice

How can I control myself in these situations

But sometimes small things trigger me like an argument by wife , on silly things ,
or she trying to ask me to do everything , I am ok in most of the times sometimes it sort of triggers

How to deal with it , I want to be a calm guy and don’t want to shout , is there a mechanism using which I can become better?

Also one change that I have noticed in me is I just can’t bear anyone shouting at me , including family or relatives If anyone does it I sort of loose it all and become their worst night mare Does this happen with age or what?

would love to hear how Fellow Folks deal with it?

Is AM possible at a late age of 35+ ?

Do anyone here know someone who has successfully found their partner and married at a late age of 36+ ??

I am 30M ( actually 27 but mods remove my posts ) and never been in a relationship and don't see myself getting into one either.

I live in a very bad neighbourhood and my house is barely liveable so thats Y I plan to move out and buy my own property.

After calculating I found out I can only buy a house in 2029 or later when I will be 30yo and that too will be with a home loan.

At 31 other then emergency fund I will be with almost 0 saving and an EMI. It will take me atleast 4 to 5 years to build a decent financial stability and savings to even consider marriage.

Will I even get a match if I have a home loan EMI and almost no savings ?

So thats y I ask is AM possible at age 35+ ? Do y'all know anyone who has done it and how is it going for them ??

Shall I continue preparing mentally to stay single forever ??

I got married through AM about a month ago. We got introduced 2 years ago through mutual family friends. We hit it off quite well and bonded so well that people used to speculate that it was a love marriage.

Before, During and even after 1 month of our marriage, I felt super loved by my husband. Like that guy adored me. And I was so much in love with him.

2 days ago, I somehow found out that my husband's family took 30 L in dowry from us.

For my family, it's a huge amount. I knew that my parents were giving something like 5-7L that I somehow couldn't talk them out of but they insisted it was for us to buy stuff for our future home. My In-laws also talked about giving us stuff. So, I decided to let it go.

Now, I find out that everyone basically lied to me and on top of that, MY HUSBAND KNEW EVERYTHING.

For 2 days, I can't process what I'm feeling. I feel sad, betrayed and disgusted even looking at my husband. I can't bring myself to talk to him.

He keeps asking me what's wrong. Bringing me stuff I like. Trying to make me laugh. But I just have this idk how do I describe it, hollow type of feeling. I don't want to talk to him. I have already fought with my parents about the lie but I can't bring myself to talk to my husband. Something has just changed. IDK what to do.

My ex-wife, whom I married about 10 years ago, recently reached out to me. She is now married to a rich and successful guy. She asked me a few questions here and there, and I gave her some immature answers.

Maybe it's because I used to behave the same way when we were together, but this time she seemed much more mature and probably found me stupid or immature, so she stopped talking to me.

She contacts me every other year, and somehow I still end up acting stupid around her. I always think that by the next time we talk, I'll be a better version of myself and that I'll finally earn some respect from her. But it never happens.

I know I shouldn't care so much about her opinion of me, but for some reason, I still do. Maybe a part of me still wants her to see that I've changed and that I turned out okay.

30F here. Well settled in a Grade A Central Government job. However, boyfriend of five years,34M, is struggling with his career. Everything is settled on my end and I want to get married soon but he isn’t ready, given his uncertain career trajectory. He helped me get through my struggling years and I’m utterly grateful and indebted to him. He’s a hardworking guy but somehow things aren’t falling into place for him. We have our own baggages and carry each other through life but his career confusions do create tensions in our relationship. Is anyone else going through something similar or has some insight to give? Thank you

Broken bones? Common diseases? Other damage? Let's hear what life has thrown at your weary bodies.

(Only what you're comfortable sharing).

I'll go first:

- Both ankles dislocated

- One arm fractured at the bicep

- One knee's ACL busted

- 4 stitches on one hand

- A deep flesh wound on head

- One shoulder dislocated

- Impacted molars

- One front tooth chipped

- Dengue

- Chicken Pox

- Malaria

- Covid

- One UTI

My (33M) colleague (male 32 years), passed away this week from cardiac arrest. He's survived by his parents and his pregnant wife. Ever since I received the news, it's been hitting me hard because we were the same age and he was in good shape and physically active.

The company is operating as usual as is everyone else, after the initial shock. For some reason, it's affecting me hard. We were friends but certainly not close friends. It's the age aspect that's both shocking and scary. I also can't imagine what his wife's going through- from what I know, she's due in November.

Keep a check of your cardiac health folks, scary to see people out age bite the dust this early in life

​

Genuinely curious about the career paths of people in their 30s who are earning around ₹40 LPA or more.

Would love to hear about:

- Your education/background — degree, college, MBA/MS, etc.

- Your current role and industry

- Years of experience

- How your compensation grew over the years

- Whether you stayed in one field or switched careers/industries

- What made the biggest difference to your growth — skills, job switches, networking, location, higher education, luck, etc.

- If you're comfortable sharing, fixed vs variable/RSUs/bonus

- What do you think someone in their early/mid-30s should focus on if they want to reach that level?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who didn't start out with a very high-paying career and managed to get there through career growth/switches.

Not looking for “grind harder” advice 😄 — more interested in the actual paths people took.

What did your journey look like?

This story happened back in 2022. I was new to Bangalore and it was my first time staying away from my family and hometown. I took an apartment with a friend of mine and things were going peacefully. Even though i got amazing friends at office, I kinda felt some emptiness somewhere. So decided to give dating apps a try.

I got matched with an MBBS graduate and we started hanging out often. She stayed in a PG 5 mins from my place and was doing her house surgency in a nearby Medical college. We kicked it off pretty well and started meeting on a regular basis.

A few weeks down the lane she started coming over on weekends and would spend the entire weekend with me an my friend. She loved my cooking and it became a daily thing to come over to my place and have dinner. Maybe a month or so had passed and now she started living in my place, claiming my hoodies, having our(me and my frnds) food snacks & beverages, using our washing machine etc.

She never contributed anything to the house and neither me and my friend expected anything from her. Then came the day of embrassment. One weekend I took her to a Kerala restaurant and my friend too joined us afterwards. We ordered some Parottas and curry which none of us liked. She made a comment on how the parotta her grandmother makes is probably the best she ever had and ithe recipe has egg added in it.

Since we were all having a conversation, I casually suggested her to make it for us once. Her demeanour and tonality immediately changed. She went on to say loudly that how cheap it was to expect a woman to cook for a man, the times have changed, nobody is entitled for womens cooking, feminism etc. I tried to lighten the situation a few times by apologising, but she went on lecturing for another 5 mins while waiters and the other tables were enjoying the drama.

I felt humilated to the core and didnt know how to react. That night to i watched her gobble up the rice and chicken curry without any bit of gratefulness, just entitlement.

I am totally not sure if what i did next was justifiable.The very next day when she left, i packed all her belongings and delivered it to her room mate in the pg. I sent her 1 apology message for asking her to make food for us and that our vibes do not match and so on. Since it was a gated society, she cannot come in without me providing an approval or a guest pass. She tried to contact me multiple times, but i never responded to her.

She tried reaching out to my friend as well. He never let her through as well. Iam not sure what i did was right or wrong, but I decided to keep my peace and dignity.

Just woke up early and nothing much to do before work starts- Wondering if you are single- by chance or by destiny and living alone
what do you do in your free time?
Tv? Mobile? Games?
Its very hot and humid these days in my area and raining in other places
Something creative? I did try a guitar but feel little too old to get the rhythm on my fingers- what about you all?