u/thirstyresearch

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Genuinely curious about the career paths of people in their 30s who are earning around ₹40 LPA or more.

Would love to hear about:

- Your education/background — degree, college, MBA/MS, etc.

- Your current role and industry

- Years of experience

- How your compensation grew over the years

- Whether you stayed in one field or switched careers/industries

- What made the biggest difference to your growth — skills, job switches, networking, location, higher education, luck, etc.

- If you're comfortable sharing, fixed vs variable/RSUs/bonus

- What do you think someone in their early/mid-30s should focus on if they want to reach that level?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who didn't start out with a very high-paying career and managed to get there through career growth/switches.

Not looking for “grind harder” advice 😄 — more interested in the actual paths people took.

What did your journey look like?

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I'm putting this out here because I'm genuinely looking to meet someone with the intention of eventually building a marriage, rather than collecting conversations or casually dating.

A little about me: I'm someone who tends to get deeply interested in things. My work and interests revolve around water, public policy, technology and figuring out how large, messy real-world problems can actually be solved. I'm ambitious about my career, but I don't want my entire personality to be my job.

I'm fairly analytical and curious by nature. I enjoy long conversations, exploring ideas, learning random things, travelling, and occasionally going down completely unnecessary rabbit holes because something caught my interest. 😄

At the same time, I'm looking for a life that isn't all about achievement. I value stability, companionship, humour, emotional maturity and having someone with whom even an ordinary Sunday feels good.

I'm not looking for a checklist-perfect person. I'd rather meet someone who has her own personality, opinions, ambitions and interests. Someone who can disagree with me, laugh at me, call me out when I'm overthinking something, and still feel like we're on the same team.

What I'm hoping for:

\- Someone genuinely interested in a long-term relationship/marriage.

\- Emotionally mature and reasonably communicative.

\- Has her own interests, aspirations and sense of individuality.

\- Kind, grounded and able to enjoy both serious conversations and completely stupid ones.

\- Someone who wants to build a partnership rather than simply fulfil a checklist.

I'm fairly open-minded about background and specifics. Compatibility, character and how we make each other feel matter considerably more to me than trying to construct a perfect profile on paper.

If this resonates with you, feel free to message me. I'd much rather have a genuine conversation and see whether there's a connection than try to manufacture one through a post.

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Okay, let me try this properly.

I'm 34M, 5'11", based in Hyderabad, and work in environmental/public policy, with a particular focus on water and technology. My work is quite intellectually demanding, and I genuinely enjoy thinking about complicated problems and figuring out how things can work better.

I'm fairly ambitious and have a strong curiosity about pretty much everything. I'm the kind of person who can start with a simple question and somehow end up spending three hours reading about it.

Personality-wise, I'm probably more analytical than I should be. 😅 I think a lot, sometimes overthink, but I'm also fairly self-aware about it. I enjoy good humour and don't take myself too seriously. I can have a serious conversation about life, work, relationships or some random idea and then completely derail the conversation with a stupid joke.

Outside work, I'm interested in technology, entrepreneurship, public policy, learning new things, and travelling when I get the opportunity. I enjoy songs and I'm generally someone who prefers a good conversation over being constantly entertained.

Food-wise, I'm non-veg. I may cook although my culinary ambitions may be considerably higher than my actual cooking ability.

As for what I'm looking for:

I'm here because I'm genuinely interested in finding a relationship that can eventually lead to marriage. I'm not looking for a casual arrangement or an endless Reddit pen-pal situation.

I'd like to meet someone kind, emotionally mature, curious, reasonably independent and comfortable being herself. Someone who has her own interests and ambitions, and doesn't expect a relationship to become her entire identity.

I value communication quite a lot. I think two people should be able to disagree, talk things through, laugh at themselves, and still enjoy being around each other.

And attraction obviously matters but I don't have a rigid checklist. I'd much rather discover that I genuinely enjoy talking to someone than decide compatibility based on ten predetermined criteria.

If you're also looking for something serious and think we might get along, feel free to DM.

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34M | India | Apparently I need to tell you more about myself

I realised I wrote a very nice description of the kind of relationship I want without actually telling you much about the person you'd be getting into that relationship with.

So, second attempt.

I'm 34. I work in environmental/public policy, currently spending a lot of my time thinking about water, technology, governance and how to make complicated systems actually work. I genuinely enjoy what I do, which is probably slightly nerdy.

I'm also someone who can go down an absurd rabbit hole. Give me an interesting question and there is a decent chance I'll still be researching it three hours later.

I'm ambitious, but I'm not particularly interested in the “grindset” version of ambition. I want to build things I'm proud of, become very good at what I do, and eventually have a life where work is important without becoming my entire identity.

Personality-wise, I'm probably somewhere between serious and ridiculous.

I can have a genuinely deep conversation about life, relationships, politics, technology or some random idea and five minutes later be making an incredibly stupid joke.

I tend to analyse things a lot. Sometimes that's useful. Sometimes my brain should probably be told to shut down for maintenance.

I'm fairly independent and I value the same in another person. I don't expect a partner to revolve their life around me, and I don't want to revolve mine around them. I'd rather have two people with their own interests, ambitions and personalities who genuinely choose to build a life together.

I care quite a lot about how people think.

Kindness matters. Curiosity matters. Emotional maturity matters. Being able to disagree without turning it into a war matters.

And humour is important. I don't think I could spend the rest of my life with someone who takes everything seriously.

As for the boring-but-useful details:

• 34M

• India

• Professionally in environmental/public policy and work in govt consulting

• Looking for a serious relationship, ultimately marriage

• Not expecting instant chemistry through a paragraph on a screen either

What am I looking for?

Honestly, someone I can talk to for hours and still want to talk to tomorrow.

Someone with her own world.

Someone who can tell me I'm wrong without making it a personal attack.

Someone who can laugh at herself.

Someone who is ambitious about something career, art, learning, travel, family, a weird hobby, whatever. I'm much more interested in someone who is genuinely passionate about something than someone who ticks an arbitrary list of qualities.

And yes, physical attraction matters. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But I'm much more interested in whether I actually enjoy being around you.

If you got this far and found me interesting.. looking forward to having a conversation on how to build life together.

34M | India | Apparently I need to tell you more about myself

I realised I wrote a very nice description of the kind of relationship I want without actually telling you much about the person you'd be getting into that relationship with.

So, second attempt.

I'm 34. I work in environmental/public policy, currently spending a lot of my time thinking about water, technology, governance and how to make complicated systems actually work. I genuinely enjoy what I do, which is probably slightly nerdy.

I'm also someone who can go down an absurd rabbit hole. Give me an interesting question and there is a decent chance I'll still be researching it three hours later.

I'm ambitious, but I'm not particularly interested in the “grindset” version of ambition. I want to build things I'm proud of, become very good at what I do, and eventually have a life where work is important without becoming my entire identity.

Personality-wise, I'm probably somewhere between serious and ridiculous.

I can have a genuinely deep conversation about life, relationships, politics, technology or some random idea and five minutes later be making an incredibly stupid joke.

I tend to analyse things a lot. Sometimes that's useful. Sometimes my brain should probably be told to shut down for maintenance.

I'm fairly independent and I value the same in another person. I don't expect a partner to revolve their life around me, and I don't want to revolve mine around them. I'd rather have two people with their own interests, ambitions and personalities who genuinely choose to build a life together.

I care quite a lot about how people think.

Kindness matters. Curiosity matters. Emotional maturity matters. Being able to disagree without turning it into a war matters.

And humour is important. I don't think I could spend the rest of my life with someone who takes everything seriously.

As for the boring-but-useful details:

• 34M • India • Professionally in environmental/public policy and work in govt consulting • Looking for a serious relationship, ultimately marriage • Not expecting instant chemistry through a paragraph on a screen either

What am I looking for?

Honestly, someone I can talk to for hours and still want to talk to tomorrow.

Someone with her own world.

Someone who can tell me I'm wrong without making it a personal attack.

Someone who can laugh at herself.

Someone who is ambitious about something career, art, learning, travel, family, a weird hobby, whatever. I'm much more interested in someone who is genuinely passionate about something than someone who ticks an arbitrary list of qualities.

And yes, physical attraction matters. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But I'm much more interested in whether I actually enjoy being around you.

If you got this far and found me interesting.. looking forward to having a conversation on how to build life together.

Making child is a easy part. The hard part is everything that comes after. Keeping them safe. Making sacrifices for them. Standing by them, even if they let you down.

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Pain is a fact. Sadness is an emotion, an expression of pain. It is a fundamental difference between pain and sadness.Human becomes distressed and unsettled due to sadness.

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I'm 34, an engineer by training and working in policy making, and spend most of my weekdays thinking about problems related to water, sustainability and governance. It sounds serious (and it usually is), but I genuinely often enjoy what I do.

Outside work, life is just simple.

I like exploring cafes, walking around the neighborhood, reading whatever catches my attention, sometimes about medicine composition and having conversations that randomly jump from movies to history to "why do people make the choices they do?"

Well vedic astrology fascinates me too. It is similar to data science, hope someday we can build an accurate model.

Personally, I'm more of a listener than the loudest person in the room. Kind of introvert, doesn't gel well in group, but good at having 1-1 conversation.

One thing I've realised in my 30s is that meaningful conversations have become surprisingly rare. Everyone's busy, life gets in the way, and before you know it, months pass without meeting someone who genuinely makes you think.

I'm not here looking for endless texting or collecting matches.

I'd rather have one conversation that's interesting enough to make me look forward to the next one.

As for you, I'm not looking for someone who ticks a checklist.

Just be kind, curious, and passionate about something.

Could be your career, research, books, music, medicine, startups, art... anything.

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Mine would be:

"Don't wait until your career is 'sorted' before making space for relationships."

I sometimes wonder if some of our generation over-optimised for careers due to some or other reasons.

Most of us learnt how to crack exams, interviews and promotions.

Very few of us learnt how to meet people, communicate better, or build lasting relationships.

Now I'm in my 30s and sometimes feel I prepared really well for work, but not for building a personal life. Still become awkward, anxious, sometimes panic while initiating the conversation.

Anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

Do you think we're paying the price for that now?

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Mine would be:

"Don't wait until your career is 'sorted' before making space for relationships."

I sometimes wonder if some of our generation over-optimised for careers due to some or other reasons.

Most of us learnt how to crack exams, interviews and promotions.

Very few of us learnt how to meet people, communicate better, or build lasting relationships.

Now I'm in my 30s and sometimes feel I prepared really well for work, but not for building a personal life. Still become awkward, anxious, sometimes panic while initiating the conversation.

Anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

Do you think we're paying the price for that now?

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If you're in your twenties, here's one piece of advice I wish someone had given me.

Don't spend your entire decade optimizing only for your career.

I did what most of us are told to do.

Study hard. Get good grades. Build technical skills. Find a stable job. Keep chasing the next promotion.

None of those were mistakes.

But somewhere along the way, I unconsciously postponed everything else.

"I'll travel later."

"I'll meet people once work settles down."

"I'll start dating after I'm financially secure."

"I'll have time in my thirties."

Fast forward a decade.

Career is reasonably stable.

But building meaningful relationships now takes far more effort than I ever imagined.

Friends move away. People get married. Social circles shrink.

Meeting someone compatible becomes less about chance and more about intentional effort.

If I could go back, I wouldn't work less.

I'd simply build a life alongside my work instead of waiting for life to begin after work.

So , Learn the skills. Earn the money. Build your career.

But don't postpone friendships, hobbies, travel, meeting people, or relationships until some imaginary day when you think you'll finally be "ready."

Because life doesn't arrive after your goals.

It happens while you're chasing them.

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Maybe we are the way we are because of the people we are with. Or we just pick the people we need. However it works, when you find each other, you should never let go.

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Maybe we are the way we are because of the people we are with. Or we just pick the people we need. However it works, when you find each other, you should never let go.

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Maybe we are the way we are because of the people we are with. Or we just pick the people we need. However it works, when you find each other, you should never let go.

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You can't have a successful marriage, without being a good listener . Sometimes it takes a little work, Sometimes it takes a lot of work and Sometimes it is just excruciating.