r/AskIndianMen

I honestly couldn't believe this when I heard it, so I thought I'd ask here.

My mom was telling me this story over a call (she was laughing the whole time, I know it's not right). So, an uncle visited our house and was chatting with my parents. He mentioned that he started cooking to help his wife ( housewife) out. For about 1-2 months, he cooked with her regularly, and sometimes even cooked alone.

But now, he's gotten very busy with work and can't help out in the kitchen anymore. The problem? His wife now refuses to cook entirely. On the days he doesn't help, she simply orders food from Zomato and says, Cook the way you used to, otherwise I won't make anything.

So she just doesn't cook unless he's right there with her.

I feel like this is a really rare case, right? Just wanted to know what you all think about this.

I'll trigger a lot of folks here, but I think it's necessary also praying or hoping some sensible person is feeling the same way I am.

I don't understand why mods don't ban these crybaby gender war posts.

This sub had a great potential, could've been a platform to discuss and help each other with problems we usually struggle to share, the quality of posts on this sub is in dumps atp.

This could've also been a place for women to ask stuff they don't feel comfortable asking men irl.

Every 2nd post (I'm exaggerating but it's somewhat true for comments at least) I see is about random instagram bs,

ranting about how bad women nowadays are and obsessing over insta ragebait pseudo feminists, I thought men were supposed to be better than ts, but folks on this sub opened my eyes.

The sub (women counterpart of this sub) people here badmouth about, I find it rather well maintained.

The ASK objective is fulfilled in that sub and at least that sub is a comfortable space for themselves.

I don't see the ASK objective being fulfilled in this sub, obviously it's not doing the job it was created for.

Just a minute or so ago I saw a post confidently posting and asking about feminist being ugly in general, are these the type of posts you guys want to promote here, or want to build a community of rational and sincere people.

For bs like this instagram has millions of videos with their comment section open, where you'll find like-minded people to shit along with.

I got pretty rude at the end, and I apologise for it, but please consider the core message of this post and give it some thought.

And yes I'm not ruling out the fact that there are plenty of good quality posts on this sub.

Edit- why am I not able to see all the comments, what's up?

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This question is for both married men and women.... how many of you think your spouse is foolish and ignorant to ignore how home wrecking and toxic yout mother could be ? And yet you turn blind eye or in such a situation that you cant give up on her just because she's your mother and you are okay to eff up your married life.

Expecting unbiased responses...

I just found this from one of the Popular subs of Indian Feminism and This goes like:-

I was just scrolling and stared at the word "Woman". Idk why but it felt weird and made me a little angry. Why is there man in Woman. Like was it done deliberately to always remind us that we can never be enough. Is this a part of misogyny?

They are hatin each and every thing that's associated with men.

This is a question for Indian men who have a 9-5 job and are amidst a divorce proceedings or have gone through one while holding a job. Can you share your journey and like what step by step or phase by phase happenings that commence from the moment you're still living under the same roof as the wife and have almost made up your mind to separate and find a place for yourself.

The reason for consideration of divorce in OP's case is incompatibility and lots of fights that spiral out of hand.

(Details - 1.5 years of marriage, no kids, living in a rented flat, all expenses are shared 50-50, parents live in a different city, wife is 10 years older and has a prior divorce)

As per coding ninja data, freshers men earn 7% less for the same work compared to men .

And the companies seems to want to force more and more DEI in tech. So why Arne't men fighting against it?

Lemme start (Pls don't judge me I was 12 years old)

To begin I had crush on a girl and she was beautiful. (It was 7th grade)

We chatted a lot and sat together I confessed to her sometimes she never said yes or no she always said “dusre log galat sochenge”.

So my plan was to propose to her for one final time and I went to school gate and confessed to her and “I said I love you”. (I didn't even say “I like you” ahhhh)

I was embarrassed hear the reply so I ran away.

But someone grabbed me from behind.

It was his dad who grabbed me he grabbed be my collar and lifted me up. He was short 5'6, fully shaved, highly muscular and angry but I think he was an equal man

Because he gave me slurs from all the languages equally ->

Hindi -> Bc, Mc

English -> Son of a dog, Bloody bihh

And one other language I don't understand

He took my school IDcard and half of the school was their at the front gate (The second most luckiest thing that happened was that no teacher was standing on that gate that day.)

He screamed at me for atleast 5 mins I said sorry and tried to rub it off saying that it wasn't in that way but in a more sister way he didn't listen and said “you are getting suspended.”

Hhe tried to punch me but he somehow stopped himself.

Next day all of the school knew what happened and I was getting teased children were following me and asking me (and the luckiest thing happened that he didn't complain to the school and I got my ID card back from his daughter.)

It was the end of the year so we gave exam and she changed her school I think I was the reason she changed it and I feel very ashamed now after so many years.

Your turn to share your crazy story.

Boy's age - 15 years

Women's age - 22 years

Why can't they also detain the woman's family for the forceful child marriage?

Calling a housewife “an unpaid maid” makes no sense!

Every time this topic comes up, people say, “If you had to hire a cook, maid, nanny, etc., it would cost ₹20000 a month.”
Okay… but then why stop there?
Does the maid live in a ₹2 crore house?
Does she eat the same food every day?
Does she go on family vacations?
Does she travel in business class if the family does?
Does she benefit from the husband’s promotions, investments, and assets?
Does she have access to the family’s lifestyle after 6 p.m.?
No.
Because she’s an employee.
A wife isn’t supposed to be an employee. She’s supposed to be an equal partner in the family.
If we’re going to insist that housework deserves a monthly salary, then be consistent. Pay her ₹20000, but now she pays 50% of the rent, groceries, vacations, utilities, car expenses, domestic help, and every other household expense from that salary.

Almost nobody advocating the “unpaid labour” argument would agree to that arrangement.
The reality is that most homemakers in functioning marriages aren’t “working for free.” Their compensation isn’t a salary—it’s sharing in the household’s entire standard of living, which for many families is worth far more than any maid’s salary.

Obviously, this isn’t about abusive marriages where one spouse controls all the money or treats the other like a servant. That’s a completely different conversation.
So what exactly am I missing? Why is the maid comparison considered valid when the relationship is fundamentally different?

Where to find good and minimal accessories like rings, pendants and bracelets for men. The ones I see online are too cringe or bulky. If you guys know anygood ones then do let me know and don't mind to share the pics if you do own some good ones for reference.

I am in my early 20s (M) right now I started to dry hump pillows(prone masturbation) around 8 years back but it's going on till now , unable to stop but I can do a normal one but it's not as fun as this. I want to know the side effects on the long run and should I stop masturbating completely ?

If you don't, I genuinely think you're missing out on one of the most valuable relationships in life. Good friends are incredibly important these days, especially for guys.

Whenever I see people say that you can't share your problems with your male friends because they'll just brush it off with, "Let's go have a drink," I honestly can't relate.

I've had my best friend for the last 22 years, and I'm a 26-year-old guy. I also have other close friends I've known for 10, 12, and 9 years. Not once have I felt like I couldn't talk to them about something important. I can call them anytime and discuss anything.

If you're under 20 and don't have a best friend yet, make an effort to build that kind of friendship. In my experience, having a true best friend is far more valuable than being in a relationship.

​

So 3 days back, it was my birthday, and I turned 29. My mom tried to initiate the discussion about marriage but I straightaway denied talking about it.

Some background. I have speech issues and I stammer. This has been a lifelong thing, and has impacted almost every aspect of my life, because you got to talk for everything, right?

My entire academic life was eclipsed by this issue, and I've been extremely conscious because of that. As I grew older, the negative experiences over time had a big dent in my confidence.

Then came a time (COVID lockdown), where I had ample time with me to do something about it. I practiced and practiced and practiced. Got control over it, and the next 2-3 years were the best thing that happened to me. Got a job (I work in the IT sector) after finishing my Post Graduation, and even though the new environment was overwhelming, my confidence with my speech helped me glide through that initial phase (everything being online also helped, maybe).

Over time, I made some great relations there, I was seeing myself achieve everything that I once dreamt of. I was confident, leadership trusted me, I was that go to guy for any tough implementations in my team. And during this phase, it wasn't like I had complete control on my speech. I still stammered badly during phases, but delusional me thought slowly this will also go away since I was gaining confidence in my work.

Decided to switch, and 3-4 offers (big thing for someone who struggled so much with his speech). Joined a big 4 in 2024, and slowly everything started to fall apart.

My speech came back to haunt me, and I didn't have any answers this time.

2024, and till July 2025, it was still okayish, as despite everything, I could still communicate.

But the last 9-10 months have been a nightmare. Took speech therapy a few months back, but managing such tough workload with therapy didn't do much wonders for me.

2-3 years back, I was seeing myself grow in confidence over time, and today, I see opportunities slip away just because I have a defective speech. It's so bad I can't communicate properly with my leadership with any issues. The only thing keeping me alive in my work are my technical skills, which is still somehow respected, I believe. But I've lost the leadership's trust because of this, and this is icking me so badly. Personal life is a mess. I don't have the confidence to call friends and maintain relations.

I have almost 5 years of experience, and everyday I just thank god that I didn't get fired and I earn a decent amount (1 L/M).

Got a surprise promotion in April, but not even for once I thought I deserved it.

Even though my current manager told me he and the teams support me, and credit to them, that they not for once have called out this issue negatively.

But they don't trust me either (and that is understandable).

I've lost all my confidence to go and talk to people. I know I've got to work on this, and get all of it back.

The point is, with all the issues I'm facing in my personal and professional life because of my speech, I don't think I should marry. And I'm not saying it with any kind of self pity.

I think, this is the most practical decision for me, as I have to make sure my career comes back on track first. I can't even think of starting a family where my own career, my own confidence, is so unstable because of something that is a part of me.

With ageing parents, career, health, handling so many responsibilities with a defective speech is a nightmare in itself. How can I think of taking such a big responsibility when I'm not sure about the future.

The point is, I'm into corporate, and I have realised that if you can't speak well, no one takes you seriously beyond a certain point. I've lost opportunities because of this (as I mentioned above).

The point is, I don't have it in me at this point to initiate marriage discussions, where arranged marriage is my only resort, and it's like advertising yourself in the market, where people look for perfection.

I could see an ocean of opportunities 2-3 years back, but with this hitting me like a truck, I don't have it in me anymore to fight it just to be good enough to enter the marriage market.

Without hurting them, or looking like a rebel, how do I make them understand this? I care about them a lot and I don't want to hurt them, but at the same time I want to make them understand my decision.

I see the pictures clicked on my birthday, and I could see so much affection in my mother's eyes, that I want to talk about this very carefully.

TL;DR: I recently turned 29, and when my mother brought up marriage on my birthday, I wasn't ready to even have that conversation. I've lived with a stammer all my life, and while months of dedicated practice during COVID helped me build confidence and succeed professionally for a while, the past year has been an emotional and professional setback as my speech difficulties have returned and started affecting my work and confidence again. Although I'm still valued for my technical skills and have even received a promotion, I no longer feel secure in my career or in myself, and I don't think it's fair to take on the responsibility of marriage when I'm struggling to regain stability. This isn't a decision driven by self-pity but by practicality—I want to rebuild my career and confidence before considering such a life-changing commitment, especially when arranged marriage is my only realistic option. My biggest challenge is explaining this to my parents, particularly my mother, without hurting them, because I know their concern comes from love, and I care deeply about their feelings

I have to get this off my chest because no one else is saying it.

After you have a kid, a lot of wives just... switch off. Emotionally....

The same woman who couldn’t keep her hands off you suddenly has “no time”, “not feeling well”, or is always busy with her parents and the baby.

You call every day trying to check on her, and she barely gives you two minutes. But the moment you stop calling for a couple of days, she immediately messages asking why you’ve gone silent.

We’re supposed to like go to work, provide, hit the gym, stay strong but the second we show we need some emotional support or intimacy from our own wife, we’re made to feel like a burden.

I’m not saying all women are like this. But this pattern is way too common, especially in love marriages. The same girl who ran away with you for “true love” seems to lose all interest the moment the baby arrives. Some even does this before baby! wth is happening?

Society only talks about women’s mental health after delivery. Nobody talks about the husband sitting alone in another city, feeling emotionally abandoned and sexually rejected, slowly dying inside while pretending everything is okay.

If you’re a new father feeling neglected, unwanted, and lonely in your marriage this is for you. Wanting your wife’s attention and affection doesn’t make you weak. Your mental health matters too.

Let’s stop suffering in silence.

A few days ago I posted here asking whether I could trust my wife again after discovering she had worn a bikini in Goa, hidden the photos from me, and asked her friends not to tag her.

First of all, thank you to everyone who took the time to comment. I didn’t agree with every opinion, and I thought some people were jumping to conclusions. Looking back now, I can understand why many of you were as suspicious as you were.

After our conversation, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something still wasn’t adding up. The guy I had briefly seen in a couple of Instagram stories kept bothering me, so I tried to find out who he was.
I eventually found his Instagram profile.
One of my wife’s friend’s posts had a comment from him saying he’d enjoyed meeting “them” and mentioning they should plan a hiking trip together sometime. His profile was public, and that’s where I saw a lot more than I’d seen before.
It turns out he didn’t just appear briefly in the background. He met my wife’s group in Goa at Vagator Beach, and from his highlights it looks like they spent more time together afterwards, including at another place with a pool.
There were 5 stories featuring my wife. In one, he had lifted her in his arms. In another, his hand was around her waist, lower than I was comfortable with. There was also a photo of just the two of them together. Yes, he had similar photos with other women from the group as well, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.

And these are only the stories he chose to save permanently. I have no idea what wasn’t posted or what has already disappeared.

To be clear, I have no evidence that my wife cheated physically, and I’m not going to accuse her of something I can’t prove. But at this point, that’s almost secondary to me.
What hurts is that she didn’t just hide the bikini thing. She hid this guy too.
When I first asked about the man in the stories, she brushed him off as just someone from another group. She never mentioned that they’d actually spent time together or that there were photos like these.

Now I find myself questioning everything she’s telling me because every time I discover something new, it’s something she chose not to tell me.
Some people will probably say I’m overreacting because none of this proves an affair. I am sure they’re right. But everyone has different boundaries, and for me, this crosses mine. If the roles were reversed and I was lifting another woman in my arms, holding her around the waist, taking photos together, and then hiding all of it from my wife, I know exactly how she would feel.
The lying and the deliberate concealment have done more damage than the bikini itself ever did.
If we didn’t have children, I honestly think this would be a deal-breaker for me. But after seven years of marriage and with two young kids, walking away isn’t a simple decision. She’s a housewife, and divorce would have enormous emotional and financial consequences for everyone involved.
Right now I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do. I have a lot to think about before making any life-changing decisions.
This will probably be my last update on the situation.
To everyone who commented, whether I agreed with you or not, thank you for taking the time to respond. I genuinely appreciate it.

This one disgusting line boils my blood every time I see it . The hate against men is so prevalent and in trend that people have forgotten the basic humanity that a crime should never be supported or been considered less of a problem because the number is comparatively less . I remember myself and many more men who had stood against crime against women who have supported women rights who you can see in women rights rallies but what about the women out there?? do they have no responsibility to support men when men are being wronged or is it below their dignity? People like Shoba Dee ( a celebrity writer) and others like Kashish Kapoor are spewing venom against men even in the cases of Ketan Aggarwal and can be seen blaming everyone else but Siya who is actually the criminal . The laws in India are against men , the judiciary is against men , The Indian media is against us but what's more heartbreaking is some simping men and brainwashed feminist are against men as community they won't support men's right

Women redditor in this sub are complaining men do not know how to have sex but thinks it's enough for women to just lie down and spread legs.

Basically wants men to get a master in Kamasutra but women can get away playing dead.

Women are doing the basic act of lying down and spreading legs is enough for men??

For me it's not as I don't support necrophilia with someone alive/s

Edit 1: this is yes or no questions So yes it is enough Or no it's not enough It's kind of like an opinion poll