u/Glass_Clothes79

22F here. I was talking to a guy about a year ago and we genuinely liked each other, but things didn’t work out. I’ve since moved to another city for my master’s and moved on emotionally.

A few days ago, I found out he had been talking to three girls at the same time and was never serious about any of us. I know I missed the signs, but finding that out still hurt badly.

I’ve always been someone who dates with serious intentions, but this experience has made me question whether I’ll ever be able to trust someone new without wondering if they’re secretly manipulating me.

I also understand now why some people become hesitant to date after being hurt.

For those of you who’ve experienced something similar: how did you learn to trust again without becoming cynical about everyone you meet?

Question for men aged 22–25:

Whether you’re currently in a relationship, have been in one before, or hope to be in the future—what kind of mindset do you look for in a woman around your age? I’m not talking about looks or hobbies, but her way of thinking, values, emotional maturity, and realistic approach towards this changing life and relationships. What makes you feel, “Yes, this is someone I’d want to build life with”?

Is understanding women more about observation and logic, or about emotional intelligence and empathy?
Which has helped you more in real life?

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Say you meet someone you genuinely connect with, and there’s clear potential to take things further.

Would you still dive in the way you once would have?
Or have past experiences changed the way you approach relationships now?

Guys, do you also hesitate making a move because sometimes the hints seem obvious… but when you actually approach, they suddenly become avoidant or annoyed?

What’s the most unserious way a girl has successfully flirted with you?

What kind of behavior or energy from a female makes you feel comfortable enough to be yourself and talk freely?

When you meet a girl for the first time or talk to her initially, what makes you interested enough to take her on a second date?

What small things stand out positively? And what subtle things make you decide “nah, not for me” even if she’s pretty?

Would you date a girl building a career in HR, or do career choices actually influence attraction more than people admit?

Does her field matter at all, or is it mostly about personality, mindset, and how she carries herself?

Men when there’s a good friendship with a girl, what usually holds you back from dating her?

Is it compatibility, timing, or the fear of messing up something that already works?