r/FortiesIndia

So basically, my dadaji, who is in his 80s now, has been going through some health issues lately.. he made up his mind that only a few days are left until a doctor told him that it's nothing to worry that much and will be completely cured in a few days..

You all would have faced such situations in your teenage years or maybe 20s or ig max 30s that you're grandparents are spending their last few days/months..

I wanna know, how can I make him feel better? I believe what an older one needs is TIME. What should I do for him? Pls suggest 🙏. I'm thinking of taking him out for a movie which he might like.. kind of making him experience new things..

Not a dramatic confession. Not a “life lesson.” Complete this sentence:

“At this age, I have finally realised that …………..”

No judgement. No advice unless someone asks for it.

I will start: At this age, I have finally realised that I am not as successful as I thought I would be.

same as above.

I thought forties would eventually bring answers. Instead, it has sharpened the questions and made them harder to ignore.

At 25, I believed life was about becoming someone who is successful, attractive, respected, financially secure and loved. At 40, I wonder how much of that ambition was truly mine, and how much was inherited from other people’s expectations.

Now I dont care less about winning arguments, impressing strangers, or being universally liked.

Sometimes what we call it “maturity” when we have simply learned to live with our compromises. And I keep returning to one question.

Have I actually grown? or just learned to justify myself better?

I’d genuinely like to hear from people 40+. What did life quietly prove you wrong about?
And what truth are you still not fully ready to face?

I am 43, from Kerala, never married, and I hav reached that slightly strange stage of life where almost everyone around me seems to have a spouse, children, school fees, family WhatsApp groups... and I'm still trying to figure out how everyone got the instruction manual. 😄

I am advocate by profession, reasonably educated, independent, and I have plenty of interests outside work like music, painting, travelling, business ideas, legal research, random rabbit holes on the internet, and occasionally overthinking things that probably don't deserve that much analysis.

I'm not particularly social. I don't go out partying, and I'm not someone who can walk into a room full of strangers and immediately become everyone's best friend. I'm actually quite comfortable with one-to-one conversations and getting to know someone slowly.

At this point, I'm not looking for some perfect movie-style romance. I'd be happy to meet someone genuine, kind, emotionally mature, and capable of having a good conversation someone who can laugh at stupid jokes, tolerate occasional overthinking, and doesn't believe life has to be Instagram-perfect.

I am posting this partly out of curiosity and partly because I wonder how many other people in their 40s are quietly living the same reality?

If you're in your 40s, single, divorced, widowed, or simply haven't followed the conventional timeline how are you doing/dealing with it?

And if you've actually found a good relationship after 40, I would genuinely like to hear your story.

Maybe we r not late.

Maybe we r just taking the scenic route. 🙂

...Asked my nagging senior who never knew boundaries.She was whom I was doing my trainee programme when I was a new recruit in my Government job.She used to belittle her juniors a lot,lazy and burden us all with all her jobs.Over everything,she never knew boundaries ever.She would go through our bags,purses and even dresses without an ounce of manners and comment unnecessarily.Years passed and she was retired but had been recruited as a special employee for a certain work for which I was to my bad fate posted second to her governing the work together.She never changed even a little bit.Same old nagging lady she was.It was our lunch time which is when she unnecessarily forced her way into my handbag and passed the comment before the whole room of men and women.It was so awkward and embarassing.I snatched the bag back and told that it was none of her business without any hesitation like my younger self.Apparently she's been bitching about my words to others since then saying that I've developed head weight because of my current position and also somehow she's the reason why I am where I am.What a lost soul!

Same as above

What's the opinion of the men in this forties group? Women's opinions also welcome. It's an open discussion and there is no one or the other right response here so be kind to the one who may not agree with your views.

Mine? Getting into crypto thinking I was investing in the Tech of the century. Turns out I was just donating my hard earned money. Any fellow crypto bros here? Say hi.

Mostly the title. Doing all this for a while now. I spend my office time reading books, working out, cooking delicious meals, watching some documentaries or webseries. Go out for walks after breakfast, lunch and dinner. I like this life but sometimes i wonder for how long can I continue this? Or how to continue this for at least 10-20 years?

With phones, social media, OTT, podcasts, reels, constant notifications and an endless stream of information, there’s always something to consume.

Do you actually remember the last time you had nothing to do and simply sat with your thoughts?

WFH gets pretty quiet sometimes, so figured I’d see who’s around for a good chat.

I’m into tech, travel, life, adulthood, random conversations that somehow start with one topic and end up somewhere completely different.

I like good banter, a bit of humour, exchanging perspectives, and getting to know how other people think. I don’t want to be the one carrying the conversation QnA style

If you’re curious, can hold a conversation, and occasionally have a completely random question or thought to throw into the mix, we’ll probably get along.

Open to genuine conversations, whether they last an evening or turn into a regular chat.

I'm 40f recent divorcee and reality of financials and long term saving and investment is hitting me now.

I have a decent job nothing fancy but i never built my own financial plan just assumed someone will handle it.

Now i need to work on building up savings independently and plan for retirement etc.

Relatives are the worst, they will take away what little you have.

So I'm hoping this will warn others, wish you all the best 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Hurt people, hurt people

I'm M44, been married to my wife for almost 15-16 years now. We had a love marriage. Have 2 kids now. From outside we are a happy stable family. But the truth is that me and my wife seem to have completely lost any romantic feelings towards each other. We are here for the kids.

Dont get me wrong, we are still nice to each other, care about each other like one would for a family member but there is no romance or intimacy for last 4-5 years now. I dont think its because of any specific reason.. just seemend to have happened slowly.. organically ..may be just like crept on us. Its also not like we are "friends" .. most of the time when we are on our own we will just watch some netflix and go to bed. We only mostly talk about our kids/finances/other family members .. everything and everyone except us. We have friends over, throw parties.. all normal stuff and probably look like a good functioning couple.

Neither of us wants to end this tbh..we dont want to put our kids through it ..as harsh or wrong that might sound. But we are young(ish) and i also wonder how will we spend the rest of our lives like this? Has anyone managed to come out of such a situation and managed to bring back some joy and happiness in their relationship?

I guess I just wanted to vent.