r/IndianRelationships

My girl moved to another state which is the opposite state from where I live and now she has friends she is actually very introverted like me.

But as a girl but also that she wants to be a little extrovert and explore the world because she has never been in her school life.

Now she has lots of friends and a little group of male friends also which makes me little and secure but when I look at them I don't feel anything I mean they look worse than me... But you know looks is not the main thing...

We had met at school and it was the end of our school life... So most of the time we communicate online and so when she shares about her friends I feel really insecure like they can spend some time even though she doesn't like them 😭... Here in homes are also about 100 KM so even if she came back on holidays it is quite difficult for me to go and meet her 😭😭😭

So the most insecuring part is I have never gotten a chance to spend some time with her and it's been 2 years since school when I met her last... One more and security part that you know I don't look good I don't have height and there is nothing actually you can tell about me which is attractive which is good...

The only thing you can tell about me which is good is that I can really understand emotion and that is the reason she trusts me a lot and kind of depends on my mentally... When she is really low she call me and request me please don't cut the call until I sleep 😭😘 that is the most romantic and the level of comfort and trust I get from a person I have never feel about anyone that makes me more attached to her 🥺🥺

After being single all my life, I fell in love with a beautiful girl. Approached her, shared my feelings for her, and now she is my girlfriend. Yayyy

All my life I thought that love is not for me as it is too unrealistic but as they say, it is just soo beautiful hehe.

Since she has come into my life, my life has changed for good and this is the happiest ever I have been in my life. (Fingers crossed)

So if you are single, go fall in love guys haha. It's just so heavenly feeling.

Bye

​

Most women I have talked to don't have any hobbies, are passionate about nothing and have no ambition in life which immediately is a huge turn off for me.

Like I am not saying everyone should be super successful AIR1 or some millionaire businessperson, but girls I meet are so hollow and empty. All they are interested in is scrolling reels and sending reels. No meaningful conversations, no genuine connections just algorithm-induced nonsense.

I just want to meet someone who is interested in something. It can be anything just something that is not reels that we can enjoy exploring together. Those people are the people you can genuine conversations with which I am struggling to find these days

Girls from my class that I talked to are all the same. They come to class, scroll reels all day. They go home and scroll reels all night. What kind of life is that?

Even when we went on group hangouts everyone is just scrolling reels like what is the point of coming then you could have done that at home.

Of course I am not saying guys are different. I am sure they are the same reel addicted people, I am just pointing out women here because I was talking relationship wise.

I'm[23 F] in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend[23 M]. We normally talk pretty regularly, usually at the end of the day. I'm generally the one who initiates calls, and I've brought up before that I sometimes feel like I put more effort into maintaining the connection. He apologizes when I bring things up, but I don't feel like the underlying pattern really changes.

My birthday was recently. He wished me, called me, and sent me gifts, which I appreciated. But that evening he went out with his flatmates. Since we're long distance, I had hoped we'd spend some time together on a video call or something, especially because it was my birthday. I told him it hurt me that he chose to go out that evening. He apologized and said he wouldn't go, but I told him I didn't want him to stay only because I'd complained. I wanted him to naturally want to spend some time with me. He went out anyway.

The very next day, he left for a 4-5 day Goa trip with his office friends.

Before he left, I decided I wasn't going to keep calling him during the trip. I wanted to give him space and let him enjoy himself. I thought that if he wanted to talk, he'd call me.

He didn't.

Day 1 passed. No call. Day 2, no call. Day 3, no call. Day 4, no call.

He did send me some photos and texts. At one point he asked how he looked in a photo. But he didn't really ask how I was doing or what was happening in my life, and there was no actual phone conversation.

Eventually I started calling because I really wanted to talk. There were several instances where he didn't answer, said he was busy, said he'd call later, etc. At one point he basically said he'd talk to me after the trip.

Eventually we had a proper conversation about it.

He told me that when he's on a trip, he doesn't want to be stuck on his phone. He wants to be present, enjoy the trip and spend time with his friends. He said he was genuinely busy and tired and didn't have time to call. He also said that four days without talking isn't really a big deal to him and that he still felt connected because he was texting and sending pictures.

I told him I wasn't asking him to spend hours talking to me. Even 10 minutes at the end of the day would have meant a lot to me. I also asked why he hadn't asked how I was doing.

He said something along the lines of, "If I'm on a trip, why would I keep asking what's happening in your life? I'm here to enjoy my life." He also said he hadn't really talked to his parents either, only updated them.

He repeatedly said that whenever we talk about these things, I only want to fight. At one point he said, "Okay, tell me what to do then." But that's exactly what frustrates me. I don't want to give my boyfriend instructions on how to care about me. I want him to naturally want to talk to me and maintain some connection.

Later, he said his friends were calling him because they had plans to drink beer. His phone was also almost dead. I had explicitly told him that I was really upset and needed to talk, but he still went back to his friends and didn't call me afterward.

I know I became anxious during all of this and called him repeatedly. I know that part wasn't healthy, and I don't want to become someone who constantly chases her boyfriend or complains about everything.

But I also feel like I'm reacting to something that has been bothering me for a long time. I've told him before that I feel unimportant and that I need more initiative and emotional connection. I don't want to keep explaining the same thing over and over.

What really bothers me is that he seems genuinely okay with going 4-5 days without wanting to speak to his girlfriend. I'm not asking him to abandon his friends or spend his entire trip on the phone. I just don't understand how someone in a long-distance relationship can voluntarily go several days without wanting even a short conversation.

Maybe we simply have very different needs. I need more emotional closeness and communication than he does. But I'm struggling with the fact that I seem to be the one constantly asking for it.

So am I being unreasonable here? Is expecting some intentional connection during a 4-5 day trip too much? Is this just a difference in communication needs, or does this sound like a deeper incompatibility?

**TL;DR:** I'm in an LDR and my boyfriend went on a 4-5 day Goa trip the day after my birthday. He had gone out with his flatmates on my birthday evening, which already hurt me. During the trip, he didn't call me for 4 days. He says he was busy, wanted to be present with his friends, and doesn't consider 4 days without a call a big deal. I feel that even 10 minutes of connection should be natural in a relationship, especially long distance. I've raised similar concerns before, but I feel like I'm always the one asking for more effort. I became anxious and called repeatedly, which I know wasn't ideal. Am I expecting too much, or are we simply incompatible in what we need from a relationship?

I’m an almost 28 years old female, dating a 26 years old male. We’ve been dating for the past 2 years and everything’s great. He’s the kind of man I imagined getting married to. We’re very serious about each other and planned to get married after 2-3 years. Since I’m in late twenties, my parents are very insecure that if something goes wrong and we break up in the future, I’ll have a very hard time finding another guy because of the age factor. Engagement ceremony is not possible because both of us are not present in India, my parents’ only condition is that we legally get married in the next couple of months, but live our separate lives and when the time is right after 2-3 years, we can start a marital life. He’s from a financially lesser background than I am, not bad though, but a little more tight and also a little more conservative family than mine. He wants to try his luck with UPSC exams, for which he’ll move to India for a couple of years, during which I plan to stay in the USA and work. If he succeeds, I plan to move to India with him and if he doesn’t he plans to come back to USA. All the visa instability in USA, getting legally married and his background is kinda giving me second thoughts, whether I should go ahead with this or not? My other option is chucking this and my parents start looking for a guy in the arranged marriage setup, where I’ll definitely find a more stable background, but not expecting the kind of emotional support I get from my current boyfriend. People who’re married, is it normal to have second thoughts like this? Or is my gut feeling trying to warn me? Any advice, suggestions or comments are appreciated.

I am very very stressed

I am in a relationship with a girl online, idk anyone of her contacts, we have met a few times and it's been over a year of being together.

I tried to breakup, we have been breaking up for quite sometime.

She has cut herself a few times and treated suicide a lot of times.

I am genuinely scared for her, i really want her to be better

Mujhse nhi dekha jata yeh sab

What tf do it do????

Don't say therepy, i have not been able to push her there.

I am mentally fucked

After dating for 4 fucking years, we broke up. He disrespected me then came back after a whole month to apologise and I lashed out onto him. Then the man who literally tattooed my name says he might sleep with someone else😍✌🏻blocked him right there. Now, he is blocking me from everywhere like even my mother's account 😭 I don't understand the audacity though? Bro is acting like I have cheated and wants to remove my existence from his life but it's literally the opposite? I just want to know what goes in the mind of such people? Is it really easy to move on from someone who was basically your family? ts crazy.

Hi I[25M] (fixed)am planning to getting married next year with my girlfriend our families agreed but the girl is saying she doesn't want to move out of Chennai, I said I can stay for few years with u but that's not a permanent decision if u or I get better job opportunities anywhere in the world we should be ready to move in.

But she is insisting to stay only in Chennai, is that a red flag ? She is Sweet but egoistic and sometimes she feels she is only right I am not sure what I should do, I didn't have any physical relationship with her I am old school, plus she says don't tell ur mother what I am saying but I don't say anything I just tell her filtered talks and mostly non private things and my mother tell her mother they both are in good terms, but she doesn't tell her mother and when she hears anything from her mother she gets angry

Now she just says good morning and good night nothing else no talk no attempts I tried several times to talk, she just replies me haan acha ok nothing else I get frustrated.

I told her I won't even come to Chennai then she said go on tell ur parents and my parents do whatever u want to do....

What should I do I am not sure any advice? The girl is good and good nature but she takes in her ego once it hits her ego or she keeps that grudge...

My boyfriend and I have been together for around 3 months. We were friends before dating, and one of the reasons I initially hesitated about the relationship was that I was afraid becoming a couple would create expectations and eventually affect our friendship.

I want to clarify that he is not a bad boyfriend overall, and I don't want this post to sound like he never does anything for me.

When we're together, he makes me feel good. After arguments, he usually puts effort into resolving things. He handles me well when I'm vulnerable and generally makes me feel cared for when I'm physically with him.

But I've noticed a pattern that bothers me: when we're not together, especially during weekdays or when he's away, I sometimes wonder whether I even cross his mind.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've noticed a few situations that made me feel this way.

I had an AFSB interview coming up on November 2. I asked him if he wanted to come with me. He said he didn't know what would happen then and whether he'd get leave. I felt hurt because I had expected him to at least ask about it himself, and I told him that some of my friends had suggested that he should obviously come with me. He apologized afterward.

Before that, I had been laid off and was looking for a job. He told me not to go home for Diwali and to focus on finding a job. At that point, he was actually going to stay too, so I thought we'd both be in Pune and could accompany each other. Later, I found out that he was going home on November 2, and I didn't even know until his brother was booking his flight tickets. I hadn't booked my own ticket because I thought we were both staying. When I told him I felt bad that he hadn't told me, he apologized again.

Then I found out he was planning a Goa trip with his college friends. I didn't know about it until around two days before, when I went to meet him and he casually told me he was going to Goa. He didn't really give me any details beforehand.

Now he's on the Goa trip. I genuinely have no problem with him going, having fun, or spending time with his friends. I don't expect him to be constantly available.

But for the last two days, I've been the one initiating almost every call and asking what he's doing. He has called me only once in these two days, and that call lasted around 1.5 minutes. Most of our conversations have been things like, “I'm going for breakfast, I need to cut the call,” or “I'm going to the beach, I need to cut the call.”

What hurts me isn't that he's busy. It's the feeling that I'm always the one trying to maintain the connection when we're apart.

And this is confusing because when we're together, I don't feel this way at all. He can be caring, affectionate and supportive. So I'm not sure whether I'm being unreasonable or whether I'm noticing a genuine difference in how much effort he puts into the relationship when we're physically apart.

I also don't want to keep complaining about it. I don't want him to feel like I'm frustrated simply because he's enjoying himself or because I don't have a big friend circle of my own. And I definitely don't want to become someone who measures her relationship by how many calls or texts she receives.

Before we became a couple, he was my friend. If he didn't call me, I didn't think much about it. I had no expectation that he should update me about his plans. But after becoming a couple, naturally my expectations increased.

That's actually one of the reasons I initially didn't want this relationship. I was afraid that eventually the expectations would hurt both of us and that somewhere along the way, I'd lose the friendship we had.

Now I'm wondering if that's exactly what is happening.

So am I expecting a reasonable level of communication and consideration from a partner, or am I becoming too emotionally dependent on his attention?

How do you distinguish between having reasonable expectations in a relationship and becoming overly attached?

And how do you become emotionally independent without becoming emotionally distant or pretending you don't care?

TL;DR: My boyfriend is caring and supportive when we're together, especially during vulnerable moments and after arguments. But when we're apart, I often feel like I'm not on his mind—he doesn't proactively tell me about plans, and I usually initiate calls. Recently I found out about his Goa trip and other travel plans very late, and during his 2-day Goa trip he called me only once for about 1.5 minutes. I don't mind him enjoying himself or spending time with friends; I'm struggling with the difference between how connected I feel when we're together and how forgotten I feel when we're apart. I initially hesitated to date him because I feared a relationship would create expectations and damage our friendship. Am I asking for reasonable effort, or becoming too emotionally dependent?

[supprimé]