r/IndianRelationships

Mujhe genuinely samajh nahi aa raha ki mere saath kya ho raha hai.

Achanak se mujhe itni strong long term relationship ki craving kyu ho rahi hai? Kyu lag raha hai ki bas ek permanent life partner mil jaaye jiske saamne mai apne saare dukh ro saku, vulnerable ho saku? Kya ye sirf akelapan hai? Ya fir ex ke jaane ke baad jo void bana hai usse fill karne ki koshish?

PG exam paas aa raha hai aur padhai almost f@cked hai. Saath mai job bhi dekhni pad rahi hai kyuki trauma duties chalti rehti hain….morning, evening aur kabhi kabhi night shifts bhi. Gym bhi manage karna hai kyuki school aur college life mai mai hamesha fat kid tha aur ab lagta hai agar body dobara kharaab hui toh mentally aur toot jaunga.

Sab kuch ek saath kharaab hota jaa raha hai.

Jis time mujhe meri girlfriend ki sabse zyada zarurat thi, ussi time usne chodd diya. Uske according mai narcissist aur egoistic hu. Shayad hu, shayad nahi… ab toh khud ko bhi samajh nahi aata. Mental health completely f@cked ho chuki hai. Bahar se hasta rehta hu, jokes maar leta hu, normal act karta hu but andar hi andar roz mar raha hu. Bas mann karta hai kaash ek baar usse baat ho jaaye.

27 saal ka hu aur gharwalo se bhi kuch discuss nahi kar sakta kyuki ghar ka environment bhi kaafi toxic hai. Bilkul helpless aur hopeless feel hota hai. Andar se pata hai shayad iss saal bhi selection nahi hoga but ghar pe bol bhi nahi sakta. Job chodd nahi sakta kyuki iss age mai financially dependent wapas nahi banna chahta.

Stress ki wajah se smoking bahut badh gayi hai. Gussa bhi instantly aata hai. Constantly lagta hai body survival mode mai chal rahi hai. Kabhi kabhi akele mai rona chahta hu but aansu tak nahi nikalte.

Bas mann karta hai yaha se bahar nikal jaun. Is environment se, is loop se, iss life cycle se. Har din same lagta hai aur mai ussi loop mai ghoom raha hu.

Mai genuinely aage badhna chahta hu but samajh nahi aa raha kaise.

Abhi bas quick revision videos aur notes se course complete karne ki koshish kar raha hu. Na properly GTs ho rahe hain, na modules, na PYQs. Kuch bhi track pe nahi chal raha. Selection hoga bhi ya nahi pata nahi.

Iss point pe bas itna chahta hu ki koi non-clinical seat mil jaaye aur mai iss cycle se bahar nikal jaun thoda.

Pata nahi advice chahiye, reassurance chahiye ya bas kisi ko apni baat batani thi.

I am a 27-year-old woman and I have never been in a relationship. Never had any intimate experience either. I’m quite shy and introverted, and honestly I’ve always struggled to connect with people romantically. I look decent, above average I would say, but I’ve never really had that “boys experience” people talk about.

I can also be a little delulu sometimes and it’s very rare for me to genuinely like someone. Recently, I saw a guy’s biodata in a group and later found the same guy on Hinge. He liked my profile there too. I got so happy because for once it felt like things could actually work — same caste, same religion, similar background. In my head I started thinking maybe life is finally settling into place.

We started talking. He replied late most of the time, but I still tried because usually I run away from these situations and this time I genuinely wanted to make an effort. He asked for my Snapchat, so I thought okay maybe things were progressing.

But then everything became confusing. He would disappear for days. One day I told him clearly that if he wants to talk, he should reply properly. Then he said something like, “I asked you multiple times for calls and pictures and you never did that.” But honestly, he only casually mentioned a call once and disappeared after that. What was I supposed to do? Randomly chase him and call him out of the blue on Snapchat?

Still, because I wanted things to work, I texted him again. No reply. I deleted my message later. And then I realized he blocked or ignored me on Snapchat.

I know this may sound small, but it genuinely hurt me. I already struggle with opening up to people and situations like this make me feel like maybe relationships are just not meant for me.

Why does this keep happening? Sometimes I honestly pray that God either gives me something real or takes away this constant longing and sadness.

I (18F) have been dating this guy for almost a year now and ive been struggling with hiding my rlsp and with the guilt of it. (Im sorry for how long this one is)

For some context, i started dating him last year june and before we went on our first date i made the silly mistake of telling my strict mom that i wanna go on a date with him and obvi she blatantly refused saying that im too young, that relationships are just traps and distractions, and that i should simply focus on my career as it isnt my age to date. Well, i still secretly went on the date and we got tgt. Two weeks later, my mom sat me down at night and she confronted me by saying that i know that you havent stopped talking to him and i want to stop everything. So indirectly she got me to confess and she started crying and started talking about her stress and that me dating will be another burden for her. So i ended up crying that night too and breaking up with him over text. We went no contact for a week but i just felt so bad that i "lead him on" and "left him so soon". So i got back in touch with him and we agreed to continue dating.

Around a month later my mom sat me down again one night and made me confess about my relationship. At this point when i confessed, she started crying again and she slowly started saying that shes having palpitations and her work stress is too much for her to deal with and that i dont know what all her and dad have for me just so that i could have a good life. This broke me more and she said that if i dont break up with him now then shes gonna leave me and move to dads place (which is in my native as my dad works there). She said that she cant deal with all of this stress and that shes gonna quit everything here and tell my dad and move away. I tried really hard to negotiate all three times, i really tried. i showed them that he wouldnt be a distraction and i did it. My grades were really good too (i scored a 9.5 in the first year of college) and so was my attendance so its not like i was lagging behind academically.

Anyways so we broke up for the second time and this time we didnt go no contact because he said he couldnt just go no contact with me. So i agreed to talk to him for a while before ending things for good. But i just couldnt do it and we decided to get back together again. I didnt tell my best friends about this for a few weeks because they were in support of my mother and they dissapproved of me dating him even after my mom said no. Few weeks later when i did tell them in our gc, my mom somehow got the urge to check my phone bcs i came late home that night and she found out that got back with him, but i somehow managed to convince her that i broke up w him that same night again because "i realized my mistake" and that "i would never repeat it again".

So after that my moms palpitation problem got worse and she started having stress related health problems. I told my best friends and they said that its all because of me but my bf said it cant be so bcs my frnds are overthinkers just like me and its absolutely impossible that all of my moms health problems got triggered bcs of me.

So this went for a few months until last week. We were on vacation and me and mom were in the car with my cousin driving. I was sitting in the front passanger seat and while i was texting my bf back my mom peeped into my phone and she asked me who am i texting. So i just told her that its my friend but she asked for my phone and she went through out chats and just stopped talking to me for the rest of the evening. Later when we reached at our home (basically our native where dad stays) she asked me if she should tell my father everything and i said okay fine. So she told my dad that night and my dad said the same things again, whatever my mom said earlier about dating being a trap and that its not my age. He said that weve given you the freedom to do everything, then why would you do this to us? (These are the people who dont let me stay out past 9pm and dictate what clothes i should and shouldnt wear ugh). So i got sad that night but i didnt break up with him this time. I told him ill need a little bit of space as i wont be able to respond as quick as before.

I dont know what to do rn. My moms getting sus of my everytime i call or text someone. She asks why am i smiling even when i watching reels. The main problem i have rn is that if i get caught again, my mom will leave me and both my parents will cut me off for good. I really wanna continue my realtionship because my bf is an amazing man whos been extremely supportive of me throughout this. And my bf is a good man in general as well, he fits my type, hes patient and understanding, he loves me for who i am, our vibes and humour matches and hes in general just a really good, God-loving man. Im too scared to talk to my best frnds about this bcs ik they wont support me and theyve made it very obvious that they dislike my relationship and my bf. What should i do about this guilt? How do i get over it and any tips on how to hide my rlsp better?

I’ve known this girl (20F) for a little over a year, and somehow she became one of the most important people in my life without me even realizing when it happened. The confusing part is that logically, I know we probably wouldn’t work as a couple. We’re very different people with different expectations from life and relationships. But no matter how much my brain understands that, emotionally I just can’t detach myself from her.

What’s messing with my head is that I can’t even tell what I’m feeling anymore. Do I genuinely like her romantically, or am I just deeply attached because she’s the first girl I’ve ever felt this emotionally close to? She cares about me, checks up on me, remembers small things about me, and I think I got too used to that feeling. To the point where if she disappears for a day or doesn’t text/call, my mood genuinely changes. And honestly, that scares me a little because I don’t know if that’s love or emotional dependency.

The hardest part is that she has absolutely no idea about any of this. To her, I’m just someone she’s comfortable with, so she casually talks to me about guys she likes, people she finds attractive, past experiences, all of that. I sit there acting normal while internally it feels horrible every single time. I know that sounds dramatic, but that’s genuinely how it feels sometimes.

And now I’m stuck in this weird place where I know staying this emotionally invested is hurting me, but the idea of distancing myself from her hurts too. I don’t want to confess because I’m scared of ruining one of the few genuinely meaningful connections I have, but at the same time bottling everything up is slowly exhausting me mentally.

People who’ve been through something similar, how do you figure out whether you truly love someone or you’re just emotionally attached to the comfort they give you? And when a friendship starts affecting your mental health like this, what’s the healthiest way to deal with it without losing the person completely?

TL;DR:

Got extremely emotionally attached to a close female friend and now I can’t tell if I genuinely love her or if I’m just attached because she made me feel emotionally cared for in a way I’ve never experienced before. Hearing about her romantic life hurts, but I’m too scared to confess because I don’t want to lose the friendship. Don’t know how to move forward anymore.

I came to Bangalore 3 years ago as a fresher. Since a lot of us joined together, we naturally formed a friend group and spent most of our time with office mates. I had a crush on one girl in our gang, but I held back because I could sense she had feelings for my roommate. When I asked him about it, he always brushed it off "we're just friends." Meanwhile, I'd quietly look for any five minutes I could spend with her. In early 2025, things got ugly. My roommate and her had a big fight and it turned physical he started hitting her. I stepped in and stopped it. That's when she finally told me they had been in a relationship the whole time. She was shocked to learn he had kept her a secret from even me, his own roommate. After that, most of us switched companies. She stayed stuck at the old one and honestly, still stuck on him. I started spending more time with her, just listening, letting her express everything she had been holding in. Over the next six months, I watched her slowly come back to life. Then somewhere along the way, we both caught feelings. We expressed them, started planning a future together, even talked about marriage. But things shifted. With the long distance, I constantly felt like a second option. The warmth she had shown early on faded. She became distant, guarded, and set strict boundaries which I understood, given what she had been through. I never pushed too hard. But one time, under some pressure, the truth came out she and my roommate had been physical. I can't fully explain what that did to me. I tried to accept it. I genuinely did. But I know my own mindset, and I was honest with myself: this would become a problem for me in the long run and that wouldn't be fair to her. So I ended it. I didn't give her the real reason. I just let it end. She's been through enough because of him. I refused to be another person who hurts her even if the way I hurt her looks different. I thought the kindest thing was to let her find someone who could love her without carrying this weight. But here's what's eating me now. She had already lost trust in men after everything my roommate put her through. She was completely closed off not entertaining any arranged marriage proposals, not letting anyone in. Out of everyone, she chose to trust me. I was the one she opened up to. And now I'm the one who walked away without even giving her a real reason. I keep asking myself did I do the right thing? Or did I just become another man who let her down? I'm not missing the relationship as much as I'm genuinely worried about her. What happens to someone who finally trusted again and then got left again? She already had no confidence in men before this. I'm scared of what this does to her. I know I can't carry this forever. But I can't stop thinking about it either. Has anyone been in this situation either side of it? Did I handle this wrong? And how do you make peace with a decision when you're not even sure it was right?

Yaar maine suna hai bhola munakka khane se sex power acchi ho jati hai. Sex me maja ata hai and jyada der tak khada rehta hai.. isme kitni sacchai hai.. kisi ko iska experience ya knowledge ho to plz share karo..

Kyoki waie to maine aisa kuch kabhi try ni Kiya..

Abe recently maine apne gf ke sath second time sex kiya mere sath ek problem ho rhi.. jab mai video call pe rehta hu to mera penis bhot acche se aur der tak tight rehta hai but jab mai physical hota hu apni gf ke sath to tight ho jata hai but jab uske pussy ke andar jyada hai ya blowjob deti hai to bhot jaldi dhila hone lagta hai.

Maine abhi tak apni life me 2 baar he sex kiya wo bhi apni gf ke sath and dono baar same issue aya mere sath..aisa kyo ho rha koi batayega?

And mai soch rha next time jab mai physical houga to mai bhola munakka try karuga.. kya he safe rhega ya ni ye bhi batana.

Why don't we focus on self-developement? Why do we not spend our money on buying books, watching artistic cinema, going to gyms, training in martial arts, ​learning new skills and travelling? Why are people so desperate and hell-bent on finding a so-called "the one"?

I've never been in a relationship and I think I'm happier and content this way. I am free to do whatever the heck I want without being responsible for anybody else's feelings and emotions. I've just started earning and I feel really good on spending my money in things that'll make me a much better person. I think most relationships now are a sham anyways cus either partners are toxic or delusional or even both or some sort of problem always arises which destroys everyone's mental health for no good reason.​ I don't understand why nowadays people willingly create unnecessary problems for themselves unlike our parents who had no choice but to get married at a certain age. I think life will be much more simple and chill if we just focused on ourselves and our parents that's it.

So I’m 20(F) and I’ve been talking to a 22(M) for the last 3–4 months. Everything was going okay until a few days ago when we had an argument because I couldn’t attend his calls since I was at work. After that, there was no message or call between us for almost 24 hours.

The next evening, he called and said he was upset because I wasn’t answering his calls. That annoyed me because he himself disappears for 2–3 days sometimes, and I never react like that. I just didn’t answer for a few hours because I was busy working.

I was already upset because of an Instagram story he posted with a girl. He was holding her waist with a romantic song in the background. At first he said it was an AI picture, but later it turned out she was actually his female friend. So during the argument I told him, “Don’t get angry at me, go talk to your girlfriend instead,” and I cut the call.

After that, I expected him to call back, ask what happened, clear the misunderstanding, or at least try to solve things. But there was nothing. Hours later he only sent one message saying, “Tum aisa bologe toh main kya bolu,” and after that again no call, no message.

All I wanted was a little reassurance and some care.

Whenever he gets upset, I try a thousand times to make things okay, but this time he didn’t even ask me once if I was fine or why I was hurt. That’s what disappointed me the most.

We’re still technically in the talking stage, and I do like him, and I think he likes me too, but now I’m starting to wonder if it’s real feelings or just attachment and timepass for him.

I(24f) have been dating my bf 24(M) since the first year of college . We are now doing internship .

He's my first bf and I love him very much . He's my first everything . 2 years ago we started having sex . There was mutual consent and understanding between us and we have always been careful . I am pretty serious about him and we have discussed getting married and all. Last week I started throwing up and my parents thought it was just heat exhaustion... But later we found out I was pregnant. My parents did not know that I had a bf .

My parents were ofcourse pretty much very heartbroken and devastated but still they were there by my side throughout the entire procedure, at the hospital. They are still very upset and being indian parents they do not get the concept of pre-marital sex and now they want me to break up with him, and I will because only I saw the tears and pain in my parents eyes when they found out , I have already blocked him from everywhere . But I don't know how to approach this topic. My parents do not want me to tell him that I was pregnant, they just want me to stay away from him and focus on my studies . They think he was the reason for my distractions , but I was never distracted, I was always in the top 5 of my batch . Now they trust me enough to go back to another city where he is and they trust me enough that I will stay away from him . And I cannot break their trust again because I cannot put my parents through something like this again . I'm completely heartbroken because he genuinely is a nice guy , we are serious about each other but also I have to gain my parents trust again and they do not like him so there's no future for us that's for sure . I have to and am ready to do anything to gain my parents trust again , but I do not know how do I talk to my bf , do I tell him that I was pregnant or not . I cannot just completely cut him off without giving any kind of explanation. It is going to be very difficult to end a 4 year old relationship but I feel like I have no other option .

I'm in relationship with a girl. We both are class - II gazetted officers in state government (Different departments). We both are posted in the same city and it's almost like a live-in relationship. She's a Sindhi girl and I'm Brahmin boy.

She's wants to get married to a boy working at Railways (IRMS) and they both are in a long distance relationship. Should I continue this 'only sex' relationship or should I say goodbye to this and focus on my life instead?

Bhai meri ek ladki se bat ho rhi hai and achhi bat ja rhi thi and she opened up I Opened up and now she she how you can talk like this this is so disgusting, she was talking 18+ I talked 18+ but I guess I went out more ig

I wanted to talk to someone who is in a relationship from long time or someone who has great knowledge about gf bf relationship. I need to know something from you guys. Please feel free to dm.

how do i move on from this online guy that i’ve known for a year.. i thought it was all real n shi n i loved him real hard but he moved on within a week n found someone new i keep checking his profile n his msgs in groupchats n IT MAKES ME SICK..

i lowk think i got played. i keep relapsing by checking his profile every other day even after finding out the worst shi abt him (like him adding his new girl to his spam, following cornstar girls)

HOW DO I MOVE ON 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im still stuck on him bruh while hes w someone new

Is this normal male behavior or am I becoming a bad partner?

I’m a 25M and this has been seriously bothering me for a long time.

I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years. We are long distance and we still haven’t had sex. Recently our relationship has also become emotionally dull, less flirting, less excitement, less intimacy overall.

Since school days, I’ve had a habit of constantly sexualizing women means checking out bodies, imagining sex, scrolling through attractive women online, etc. My friend circle normalized it and honestly movies/social media probably added to it too. I used to flirt with many girls on Insta dming them.

The problem is that even while being in a relationship, my brain constantly seeks sexual attention or stimulation from other women. I sometimes scroll through women’s profiles for hours, fantasize about friends/models/other girls, and I’ve even DM’d girls for flirting or sexting.

What confuses me is:

1. I don’t actually want these women as partners. Emotionally I still care about my girlfriend. But physically/sexually I feel restless all the time.
2. Part of me feels this is emotional cheating already. Another part of me wonders if this is just normal male behavior amplified by sexual frustration and long
   distance.

I’m honestly tired of feeling mentally split like this.
Men who’ve gone through something similar:

1. Is this normal?
2. Is this considered cheating?
3. How do you stop constantly chasing validation/sexual stimulation from other women while in a committed relationship?
4. Can this mindset actually change? Or it's a general man trait?

I want honest advice, not judgment.

I'm just curious, as I've received a lot of judgement for even living with my partner.

For the last four years, I and my girlfriend have been dating, and we live in the same city but 60 km apart, so it's kind of hard to meet, so we usually text, and she ghosts me most of the day, and at night if she feels she wants to talk, she texts and rants about her day, and she sleeps again, ghosting me. I even tried doing the same to her, and then she was like, "Why are you ghosting me?" though I showed a lot of screenshots where she's clearly active on Instagram and I'm being ghosted, all she replies is "tab mein padhai rahi thi toh shayad hogaya hoga"—like, the audacity to lie even when I have proof of her ghosting me. I'm not saying that she doesn't have a life to live or something, but when she has time to comment on her friend's post, then she should have time for replying to me also, right? Sometimes I just feel that I'm only emotionally available to her. "Pata hai aaj kya hua"

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