u/Historical-Room4458

I (28M) met her (26F) through AM set up, and we have been thinking of getting married in the next 2 years or so. I’m an investment banker, whereas she’s an Army Officer. Despite being polar opposites (I’m a nerd, like cooking, staying indoors, etc and she likes boxing, working out, mountaineering etc), we got along very well with each other. Her current posting is in a remote area where the network is poor. She has also been going on mountaineering expeditions because of which I’m not able to contact her often. I’m feeling separation anxiety at times, and get scared about whether she is okay. We try to talk every day but it’s become really difficult lately. I don’t know if I can or should ask her to put in more effort to keep the communication more regular because of the network and job related challenges. She tells me not be worried about her and that she’s well trained to adapt to challenges but I still feel extremely nervous and anxious about her.

I (28M) met her (26F) through AM set up, and we have been thinking of getting married in the next 2 years or so. I’m an investment banker, whereas she’s an Army Officer. Despite being polar opposites (I’m a nerd, like cooking, staying indoors, etc and she likes boxing, working out, mountaineering etc), we got along very well with each other. Her current posting is in a remote area where the network is poor. She has also been going on mountaineering expeditions because of which I’m not able to contact her often. I’m feeling separation anxiety at times, and get scared about whether she is okay. We try to talk every day but it’s become really difficult lately. I don’t know if I can or should ask her to put in more effort to keep the communication more regular because of the network and job related challenges. She tells me not be worried about her and that she’s well trained to adapt to challenges but I still feel extremely nervous and anxious about her.

I (28M) met her (26F) through AM set up, and we have been thinking of getting married in the next 2 years or so. I’m an investment banker, whereas she’s an Army Officer. Despite being polar opposites (I’m a nerd, like cooking, staying indoors, etc and she likes boxing, working out, mountaineering etc), we got along very well with each other. Her current posting is in a remote area where the network is poor. She has also been going on mountaineering expeditions because of which I’m not able to contact her often. I’m feeling separation anxiety at times, and get scared about whether she is okay. We try to talk every day but it’s become really difficult lately. I don’t know if I can or should ask her to put in more effort to keep the communication more regular because of the network and job related challenges. She tells me not be worried about her and that she’s well trained to adapt to challenges but I still feel extremely nervous and anxious about her.

I (28M) have been seeing a prospective match (26F) for a while now. I’m an investment banker, on a career break for health reasons. She is serving in the Army, and has a tough, physically demanding job with a lot of travel and postings in remote areas. She takes her job very seriously and is ambitious about it. I’m also from IIT - IIM background and have so far been a career oriented person but want to take up a job with better work life balance.

We have been discussing for a while now and are open to marrying each other. We have met each others’ parents too. The only issue is that she does not want to have kids whereas I think we can consider having a few years down the line but I’m overall ambivalent about it and don’t want to rule it out altogether. She feels that having kids would be a hinderance for her career and military service. She doesn’t think she can devote time for parenting and this is not in her priorities. She wants to focus exclusively on her career and marriage. Is it appropriate for me to try and convince her? How else should I approach this discussion?

I (28M) have been seeing a prospective match (26F) for a while now. I’m an investment banker, on a career break for health reasons. She is serving in the Army, and has a tough, physically demanding job with a lot of travel and postings in remote areas. She takes her job very seriously and is ambitious about it. I’m also from IIT - IIM background and have so far been a career oriented person but want to take up a job with better work life balance.

We have been discussing for a while now and are open to marrying each other. We have met each others’ parents too. The only issue is that she does not want to have kids whereas I think we can consider having a few years down the line but I’m overall ambivalent about it and don’t want to rule it out altogether. She feels that having kids would be a hinderance for her career and military service. She doesn’t think she can devote time for parenting and this is not in her priorities. She wants to focus exclusively on her career and marriage. Is it appropriate for me to try and convince her? How else should I approach this discussion?

I (28M) have been seeing a prospective match (26F) for a while now. I’m an investment banker, currently on a sabbatical but looking to transition into a more relaxing job (strongly considering academia or something that allows for remote work). She is serving in the Army, and has a tough, physically demanding job with a lot of travel and postings in remote areas. She takes her job very seriously and is ambitious about it.

My job opportunities are almost exclusively in tier 1 cities, and we think that should we get married, a considerable part of it would be long distance. Is there anyone who has been in such a marriage? How did you work it out? I think I’m generally okay with not living with my partner and being in LDR but guess marriage would be very different.

Looking for advice.

I (28M) have been speaking to an arranged marriage prospect for a while now (26 F). She is a family friend and we have gotten to know each other well and have begun discussing marriage. I am an investment banker whereas she is serving in the Army. We both take our careers very seriously.

We have very divergent hobbies and interests. I’m into cooking, prefer staying indoors, like board games and am very non-confrontational etc. She is into boxing, mountaineering, gymming and generally has hobbies and interests which can be considered to be masculine, and has a fiery temper sometimes.

I sometimes feel insecure about why she’s even interested in me and if I’ll be a liability for her ambitions and dreams related to military service. She tells me she appreciates my humour and nature. She also helped me get over my insecurities around balding, by how she is confident with her buzzed cut. I still feel very insecure sometimes about the fact that she is more involved in activities traditionally considered masculine than I am.

I (28M) have been speaking to an arranged marriage prospect for a while now (26F). She is a family friend and we have gotten to know each other well and have begun discussing marriage. I am an investment banker whereas she is serving in the Army. We both take our careers very seriously.

We have very divergent hobbies and interests. I’m into cooking, prefer staying indoors, like board games and am very non-confrontational etc. She is into boxing, mountaineering, gym and generally has hobbies and interests which can be considered to be masculine, and has a fiery temper sometimes.

I sometimes feel insecure about why she’s even interested in me and if I’ll be a liability for her ambitions and dreams related to military service. She tells me she appreciates my humour and nature but I still feel very insecure sometimes about the fact that she is more involved in activities traditionally considered masculine than I am.

Background:

I (28M) met a match a few months ago through AM set up. She is serving in the Army and is a daughter of a family friend. We have met multiple times in person and have been speaking every week as well. I’m open to going ahead the marriage and so is she, but in the next 1.5 - 2 years or so. We are both very ambitious in terms of careers (I’m an investment banker, presently on a career break and she is also very serious about her military service) but are opposite in terms of personality (I am introverted, nerdy, like cooking and indoors whereas she’s into boxing, gym, mountaineering, trekking etc). We have gotten along well in our conversations and developed mutual respect for each other. She is definitely someone who I would like to consider marrying. Her duty involves a lot of travel and posting in remote areas with limited contact. We have also discussed the aspect of kids. She does not want to have them and even I’m not very keen either, but this is something we are still discussing.

I am an only child of my parents, who are quite conservative. While initially they were okay with marriage, they are now strongly opposing it because they feel her career and lifestyle is too unconventional. They are not okay with the long distance aspect, or the fact that her duty could be physically and mentally challenging in remote areas with limited connectivity. They don’t think she will be able to perform the role of a daughter in law of the family and do not want her to be part of the household. She also maintains a very short haircut which ticked them off the wrong way.

I know my parents are being regressive but it’s impossible for me to proceed without their cooperation. I’m really not sure what to do anymore.