r/MBTIDating

Hi :) Looking for conversation in really anything. Just send a message whenever and let's chat (and I'm an INTP)

Hi all.

Sorry this a bit long but I really need some advice, particularly from INFJs, because I am currently doing the extremely INFP thing of feeling everything and then analysing the hell out of it.

I’m an INFP female and also an HSP. I feel things very deeply. I’m whimsical, sentimental, excitable, I love people and animals and nature and stars and tiny beautiful things. I tend to see a lot of wonder in the world.

This is relevant, I promise. 😂

After a string of pretty bad dating experiences (including a controlling relationship), I had consciously decided to keep my options VERY open and not allow myself to get excited about any one man too quickly (because I get hurt easily).

This is actually difficult for me. Even platonically, when I meet someone and think, Oh! You might be one of my people, I get genuinely excited about having that person in my life.

So with dating, I've been trying very hard to rein that part of myself in and protect my heart a little better.

Then I met this guy on a dating app.

He lives a couple of hours away from me at the moment, although he permanently lives in another state. His job is pretty gruelling and operates on roughly a two-weeks-on/two-weeks-off arrangement.

When we very first started talking, he seemed extremely enthusiastic. He sent me multiple voice notes, was quite persistent about talking to me and seemed very interested.

Then, after that initial period, his communication became much more sporadic.

I didn't know he was an INFJ at this point (among the 50,000 topics that we talked about on our date - MBTI was one of them and he told me he is INFJ).

Under my new self-protective dating rules, sporadic communication = he's probably talking to/dating a lot of women, or he's just not particularly interested in me.

And that's fine. People are allowed not to be interested in me. But if I think that's what's happening, I deliberately don't let myself become emotionally invested.

So I had actually been putting off meeting him and continued talking to other potential dates (which to be honest I am very much a person who prefers having 1 connection only but as I said - bad experiences have made me shut that part of myself down a little)

He'd hinted at meeting before but never really made a plan with me so to be honest I had kinda given up on the idea of him. He had gone back to his home state for his 'off' cycle and he was very quiet during that time - lucky if i got a good morning or anything so I actually made the decision to cut off any feelings I had about him and I meeting up/being a thing. As such I stopped opening his messages immediately and let them sit for while. Eventually he noticed and suddenly he had double texted/sent a pic or something. I still didn't budge on the thought in my mind but I still talked a bit to him.

Last Thursday he asked if I was going to be in Brisbane that weekend. I told him no because I had already had plans (I did which I had made because I felt he wasn't interested in me really!!).

Then my plans unexpectedly changed on Saturday and I was pretty annoyed about it so I made the decision that rather than sit around being angry I was going to go for a drive to the city 2 ours away even if i just went and sat in a cafe.

Right at that moment he sent me a message and during course of convo - I told him I might actually go to Brisbane that night.

Full disclosure: I was kinda hoping he'd say he wanted to see me.

He did.

And suddenly this sporadic, difficult-to-read man was VERY enthusiastic.

He told me when he finished work and essentially said, I finish at 1:30, I can be anywhere by 3.

Eventually I directly asked, "Would you actually want to meet me if I came to Brisbane tonight?"

And he basically responded:

"Yes, of course. I've been waiting a long time."

And I remember thinking: YOU HAVE????????!

Because I genuinely had absolutely no idea.

Nothing about the frequency of his messages had given me the impression that this man was sitting there eagerly waiting to meet me. He didn't have his car with him, so he initially said he'd catch a train to wherever he could meet me. Instead I offered to pick him up from work. I suggested we go to a lookout I love just because the view is so pretty. He told me he'd never been there before but had always wanted to go, which made me ridiculously happy.

Then I met him.

And...

Oh.

I genuinely don't know how to explain what happened in my brain when I saw him without sounding completely ridiculous. I've dated. I've had relationships. I've been attracted to men. I've really liked men. I have never in my life experienced whatever the hell happened when I met this man.

We'd already joked beforehand about me being a hugger because I like to always check with other humans that they are okay with my greeting hugs rather than just hugging them unannounced) and he said he wanted me to hug him when we met. As such after getting out of the car and then freaking out because the handsomest tallest man was walking towards me - I immediately hugged him (the next day he told me he really liked that first hug). Within about five minutes of driving, I'd already blurted out something along the lines of:

"Wow. You're so handsome. It's actually difficult to concentrate on driving while you're sitting there in my passenger seat." Very smooth of me. 😂

At some point, my hand apparently developed a mind of its own and ended up resting on his knee. He immediately reciprocated and put his hand on my leg and we held hands the whole drive then. About 20 minutes into the drive, we stopped at a traffic light and because apparently I become a bizarre little creature when I really like someone, I gestured for him to come closer and kissed him on the cheek. About three traffic lights later, he suddenly leaned over and kissed me on the cheek just as I had done to him.

We got to the lookout and ended up spending HOURS together. Talking. Laughing. Hugging. Kissing. Holding each other. Just being close. And he stared at me constantly. I don't mean quick glances. There were so many moments where I'd realise he was just... staring at me. And I loved it. There was obviously a lot of physical attraction between us as well. Some other things nearly happened but logistics and him being a gentleman prevented it, which was probably for the best. But honestly, the physical/sexual part isn't even the thing that's stuck with me.

I just felt incredibly comfortable with him.

During the closing of the date after I drove him back to work he asked when I'd next be in Brisbane. I told him the following Sunday and we basically agreed we'd see each other again that night. There's also something he's really interested in, and during our date I told him I'd thought of something special I'd like to take him to do sometime (he has a particular thing he really geeks out on and I want to take him on a special date related to that). He seemed genuinely excited about it and said he'd love that. I lost my phone somewhere in the car and he said 'that reminds me' and said he would call my phone and I cutely asked 'are you asking me for my ph number'. he said yes and then put it in his phone. note he has not used my phone number since and continues to message me via snap :|

Eventually I had to leave because I had a couple of hours to drive home and he had work the next day (well that day cos it was after midnight). Before I left him, I jokingly told him to send me a message so I'd have something cute waiting to read when I finally got home. When I got home, there was a message waiting for me:

"Night night, cutie. I had a great time with you tonight."

I told him I'd had a great time too.

The next day we messaged back and forth on Snapchat and everything still seemed really positive. Because he'd stared at me so much during our date, I actually told him:

"I liked it when you were looking at me last night."

He replied:

"I couldn't keep my eyes off you."

Which, obviously, did absolutely nothing to help my poor INFP brain remain emotionally sensible about this situation.😂. I told him I'd wanted to look at him more too, but I was worried I'd look goofy sitting there staring at him. He said "you looked pretty".

So at that point, I really wasn't getting the impression that he'd woken up the next morning regretting the date or that the attraction had been one-sided. If anything, I thought he was confirming that he'd felt it too. Monday there wasn't heaps of communication, but there was some. He asked what I do for work. We talked a little about that. Then there was a gap of quite a few hours, after which he initiated a conversation with me again and messaged:

"How was your day, cutie?"

I told him what I'd been doing and that I was at the gym. Later we were talking about stars and he said he was jealous. He also randomly asked me whether I work all weekdays. I answered, but then I worried my answer wasn't clear enough and explained it again. He basically said he'd realised what I meant the first time. And I admitted: "Sometimes I overthink what I've said."

Which may be the understatement of the century considering I'm now writing an essay about this man on Reddit.

Tuesday morning, I messaged him first to wish him a good day (did nto want him to feel like he has to make all the effort). He sent me a screenshot of something he was doing for work. I teased him about it, he responded with something pretty sexual and we continued an inside joke from our date.

Later in the day I went outside. The wind was blowing through the trees and the birds were singing and it just sounded really peaceful. Because I know his job can be intense and noisy, I took a little video and sent it to him, basically saying that the birds and wind sounded nice and he could listen to it if he wanted a break from the noisy world. He heart-reacted to it. A bit later, I sent him another message. I had been thinking about that particular thing he'd done during our date that had made me feel really safe. So I thanked him for it. I basically told him that he'd made me feel safe in that moment, that I appreciated it and that I appreciated that he was a good man. I specifically added that he didn't need to answer because I knew he was working (and also because I knew from our date that he is INFJ so didn't want him to feel pressured in any way to respond to me).

He replied anyway with a thank you, a red heart and a kissy face. I somehow didn't notice the kissy face at first. About half an hour later I saw it and sent a kissy face back.

And...

Nothing since.

It's now been almost 24 hours and this is where my brain is fighting an actual civil war with itself.

One part of me says:

If a man really likes you, he wants to talk to you. A man who's genuinely excited about you doesn't just leave you sitting on read for 24 hours after a date like that. He's lost interest. Accept it and move on.

Another part says:

But this man already demonstrated BEFORE meeting you that he can communicate sporadically even when he apparently IS interested. You literally thought he wasn't that interested, only to discover he'd apparently been "waiting a long time" to meet you. His job is intense. Maybe he disappears into his own world when he's working. Stop panicking.

Then there's a third part yelling:

personality type doesn't matter. If someone is really into you, they'll contact you even if they are doing underwater research.

So I genuinely don't know what to think. I haven't double-texted him. I haven't asked if something is wrong. I haven't sent another meme/video/photo or tried to manufacture an excuse to talk to him. I've just left it. My last contact with him is literally the kissy face I sent back yesterday. Technically, as far as I know, we still have plans to see each other Sunday night when I'm in Brisbane but I am starting to feel like that may not be the case.

But I really, really like this man.

And the LAST thing I want to do is take someone who actually does feel positively toward me and turn him off because I suddenly become needy, clingy or demanding of constant reassurance. At the same time, my previous dating experiences have taught me to associate silence with somebody losing interest. The last time I tried being the chill woman who gives a man space, I literally told a guy, "Don't worry about texting me for a few days." He REALLY took me up on that offer. Eventually I had to contact him the night before our supposed date to find out whether it was even happening. He cancelled saying 'I feel like I can't be what you need' (mind you he barely knew me let alone what I do or don't want haha) then two weeks later starts blowing up my phone and doing grand gestures left and right before being an ass that I had to cut off.

So silence does not exactly make my nervous system sing with joy.

There's another complication too: there's a significant age gap between this INFJ man and me - more than would generally be considered typical. He matched with me knowing that and I brought it up again during our very first conversation but he was persistent and said he couldn't care less about it.

Strangely, though, that isn't even what's worrying me right now.

What scares me is the possibility that I experienced something enormously meaningful that perhaps he just... didn't. Because when I say this felt different, I mean different. I'm very genuinely an INFP to my core. I'm whimsical. I'm sentimental. I'm ridiculously sensitive. I get excited about tiny beautiful things. I see a lot of wonder in the world. And meeting him felt like stars exploding in front of me. Lame? Probably. But it's genuinely the only way I know how to describe it. I have never experienced that feeling with a man before in my entire life.

And maybe that's exactly why 24 hours of silence feels so enormous to me when objectively it... probably isn't enormous.

So, INFJs of Reddit, please help an INFP out.

Does his behaviour sound consistent with an INFJ who could genuinely be VERY interested in someone but still happily disappear into his own world for a day or two, especially while working?

Is 24 hours of silence something that wouldn't even register as significant to you?

Do I leave him completely alone and wait for him to contact me?

Or would an INFJ actually appreciate receiving a little message from someone they like, rather than interpreting it as pressure or neediness?

And at what point would you interpret this kind of silence as lack of interest?

Because right now I can't tell whether I'm supposed to give this lovely, mysterious INFJ man some space...

...or accept that he didn't feel what I felt, give up and spend the next year dramatically listening to Lana Del Rey while staring out of rain-covered windows, missing him and wishing I'd never discovered what an actual connection feels like.

Please advise. 😂

Hello everyone, I’m a 21-year-old INFJ male. I admit that throughout my life, I’ve encountered very few ENTP women; instead, I’ve mostly met ENFP women in my country (who are, by the way, beautiful, kind, intelligent, spontaneous, and authentic—I even had a bit of a crush on one recently, though that faded due to circumstances).

I stayed in touch with some of them for a while, but as time passed and responsibilities grew on both sides, we lost contact or the friendships just cooled off. In that same vein, I’ve met some ENTPs in my country (my father is actually an ENTP—though I don't live with him; I live with my beloved grandma, who is an ESFP), but the vast majority were men.

However, through interacting with these ENTPs, I realized that you are very intelligent, cool, communicative, and sociable people who love to debate and think critically; you are spontaneous and—depending on the individual—value sincerity, authenticity, intelligence, and effectiveness in others.

(My father fits this profile; when I lived with him as a child, he was very critical and impatient with me, always pushing for effectiveness, intelligence, and greater sociability and extroversion. I was a shy guy for many years—though I’m more sociable now in college—but I understood that he was trying to project onto me the person he wished he had been at my age.)

So, I haven't met any ENTP women my age yet, and I’d really like to know from you ENTP women: what are you like? What are your characteristics? What do you like and dislike? Have you ever spent time with INFJs like me? If so, what was it like? Do you like INFJs just as much as we INFJs like ENFPs and ENTPs?

Hi everyone, I’m a 21-year-old INFJ man. I’ve observed and met a few ENFP women, and I was truly charmed by your personalities—everyone I met was beautiful, kind, intelligent, spontaneous, and authentic. Due to various circumstances, I didn't quite form the bond I had hoped for, but simply meeting and spending time with you was a delightful experience! I deeply hope to meet many more ENFP women—to be charmed by, admire, get to know, and fall in love with others among you, just as I once felt loved by you. I want to thank all of you, dear ENFPs, for having such wonderful, warm, and welcoming personalities toward introverts like me. I hope and wish for you all to be happy and feel loved by your partners! Keep being your authentic, spontaneous selves, ENFP women; don't let anyone take away that radiant joy for life or the authenticity of your values! And I hope that someday, when I find a special woman, she’ll be an ENFP or an ENTP! 😍

So, what were your relationships like—as ENFP women—with INFJ men? Was it good or bad?

Note: I'm talking about best matches not a relationship pairing blueprint. Also this is just my observation.

Instead of pairings being like INTJ X ENFP, ENTP X INFJ, ENTJ X INFP and INTP X ENFP

I think the best match is within the intuitive-sensor or thinking-feeling bracket to ensure the core values match. The mix and match is usually only cool short term but then when it comes to big life decisions it makes the relationship turbulent because the base of your decision making is so different.

INTJ X ENTP, ENFJ X INFP kinda match is far more rational and stable. You get a partner that values the same thought process as you but has different energy or org levels than you so you make up for what the other lacks. Opposites attract kinda stuff really pushes strange relationships.

I'm an INTJ married to an ENTP. Everyone told me ENFP was my best match but I've dated plenty of them in the past and while it was fun short term, they'd eventually get on my nerves with the lack of true logical thinking. They'd really want to do something, have some dramatic experience, take massive risks and that's fine but the risk/return assessment would be terrible. I'd ask them why they want to do something or why they did something and the answer would basically be like "I just really felt like/want to" and they'd look at me like that was a full statement.

However, with my ENTP husband, we are quite different but when it comes down to it, we hardly have any arguments because we think about it and discuss, either we come to the same logical conclusion or we discuss until we find out whose conclusion is more accurate and we're good to go.

Arguing with ENFPs would sometimes bring me to tears from the sheer frustration that would morph me into a violent animal because I shouldn't help but think they were painfully stupid to think the way they did. I broke a finger punching a wall in frustration but 6 years with my husband and not once have I felt that hopeless, helpless, lost feeling in an argument where I feel like I'm trying to explain multiplication to a rat. We spend all our days laughing and chilling out. Everything that should be an arguement just passes by within a minute of discussing.

I've seen the same pattern with my friends too. All those married within their N/S T/F brackets are really happy and those that have the "average marriage" are the mixed ones. They're the ones who say stuff like "marriage takes work", "every couple has arguments", "there's no such thing as perfect". Idk but we're pretty damn perfect.

Heyoo. So I'm looking for a connection with depth and emotional intimacy. A connection where we can be ourselves and where I feel safe and respected as I am. Someone I can call my best friend and hopefully also partner if our connection develops into something really special and deep. Someone who thinks I'm brilliant the way I am and he just likes being around me even if we do nothing special.

I want to start as friends because I'm not about going fast and I need to know a person deeply before I know if they're someone I'm romantically interested in. I like to just relax and see where our connection leads. But not in a flimsy way like k let's see what happens, but in a intentional way. Like let's see what unfolds here and if it's something special.

Now let's get into who I am. I live in Finland, my mother tongue is Finnish but I'm bilingual these days cause I've spoken English every day for almost a decade now. I have an american accent with a bit of british sprinkled in there. I don't know where the british comes from, it just happens 😄. I don't really define my sexuality with a label. I just say I like girls mostly and sometimes guys. It's very nuanced and I don't like limiting myself with a label. I'm anyway more interested in someone's essence and personality rather than their gender.

I'm a witch. Ooo spooky, run 👻. Okay lol but seriously I'm a witch so I practice witchcraft. I'm a deeply spiritual person overall. My spirituality is based on witchcraft, nature and goddess spirituality. I love manifestation, tarot/oracle cards and dream interpretation. Also interested in the occult. Shamanism also fascinates me. I'm a very spiritual person so if you ask me how I'm doing I might be going through some deep transformation within and I might be receiving guidance, intuitive hits, or I might just know something and then it happens etc. so if you wanna know me, be prepared for that kind of stuff. I get along best with people who aren't overly logical and who acknowledge that there is a spiritual aspect to life. So if you're like very skeptical and don't believe in anything spiritual, we aren't a good fit.

I'm a masculine presenting woman and for me that means I'm very male-leaning in how I look, my mannerisms, clothes etc. I have a masculine energy to me most of the time. But when I say masculine I don't mean tough, toxic or macho. I'm talking about healthy masculinity. And when I say male leaning I don't mean like omg Thor XD, I mean more like boyish looks. Basically I don't look like a woman and I'm not interested in looking like a woman, but I am a woman. Got it? Great. I like masculine clothes, I love cologne and wear a suit to fancy occasions. In every day life I love casual, comfortable but stylish clothes. I mostly wear streetwear, if that's what it's called.

In a relationship I'm naturally very protective of my partner and caring. I like holding my partner on my lap or have them lay on my chest when we sleep or when I'm reading etc. I'm clingy and affectionate so I like holding my partner close often and giving him kissies 🥰.

I'm someone who really doesn't give a damn about gende roles and honestly heteronormativity is such a cult in my opinion lol. It's disturbing to me how someone's behavior, personality, roles in life or in a relationship are expected to be determined by their gender. Like why would some generalized idea fit every complex individual person, just because they happen to be some gender? Doesn't make any sense to me. We all are aware that people are unique and different. I don't think anyone is meant to fit into some box.

I'm very attracted to guys who are smaller, delicate and have a soft and warm personality. I also prefer guys with more boysih and soft looks. But then I also like guys who are physically fit and strong. I find physical strength very attractive. But I also like more delicate guys who aren't strong.

What's most attractive to me is someone secure in themselves, confident, warm and he dares to be authentically himself, even if it ruffles feathers or someone disagrees.

My weakness is someone with a cute and innocent vibe but someone who is fiery, opinionated and speaks his mind as well. You know a softie with a backbone. I like a soft boy with a bit of an attitude :D. The more stubborn the better. I'm a very headstrong person so I want someone who's as headstrong as I am. I want someone who can answer my fire with fire.

I'm attracted to a guy whose character I admire. He's respectful, warm, curious about me but respects boundaries, polite and overall considerate of others. Someone who loves banter and being absolutely ridiculous together but also can be calm and grounded when the moment calls for it. I like someone who has a calm personality with a playful and cheeky side. Someone who feels grounding, steady but also radiant and alive. But I also love someone who yaps a lot and I think I need an extrovert or an ambivert. Someone who likes talking a lot with people. I'm quiet sometimes but with someone I love I'm a podcast and love talking for hours. So I really love it when someone likes talking a lot, about regular stuff, funny stuff, deeper stuff. Someone who makes me laugh just by being himself.

It's very important to me that my partner is someone who believes that human rights aren't up for a debate or an opinion, they're a given and everyone deserves to be treated with respect. He doesn't listen to degrading rap music, watch youtubers who make offensive jokes, he doesn't use words like the b word, mf, etc. because he understands that's offensive and harmful language. Like can I find a guy who just realizes on his own that hey, that's not a nice thing to say or do, even if it's normalized in every day life. I've yet to find a guy who is normal like this and self aware and naturally just notices injustice and cruelty.

There's also this thing about me, I'm very independent and I'm used to carrying it all alone. I'm a very resilient person emotionally and mentally. I'm also strong willed. That's why I've always wanted a partner who can match that. Who's the same type of resilient and has that inner strength. I've felt dissatisfied in past connections when I noticed that the other person couldn't hold as much as I could. I mean in a way like, he'd say don't worry I got it, I'll handle this one just relax. Someone who takes initiative to do something without asking. You know a natural leader type of person. I feel like I need a relationship where we both are natural leaders. That's the only way I'll feel fulfilled. Because yes I love to lead, I love to protect, I love to be the strong one. But I also love when my partner does that naturally, because that's just who he is.

I've also noticed that too often people are intimidated by me. I'm a very blunt and honest person, not in a rude way but I'll tell you what I think. And often that would mean the other person retreats and shrinks in my presence. People are different but when it comes to romance, for me, it has to be someone who doesn't shrink in my presence. A guy who doesn't get intimidated by a fiery personality or by me giving him my trademark calm stare when questioning him about something. The point is  I've got opinions and I share my thoughts openly. And apparently I have a habit of triggering even the most calm seeming dudes just by calmly questioning their behavior. I genuinely don't know what it is. I'm not doing anything special. But I do know that I'm only attracted to a person who doesn't shrink or run away when I talk to him or when there's a tough conversation that needs to happen. I wanna be able to be my full self without him shrinking himself. So that means I'm looking for a guy who's very secure in himself, mature and confident.

I also like someone who's a bit of an irritating asshole. Not genuinely, I don't like some disrespectful idiot. I mean he likes annoying me playfully and if I shove him he just grins and he likes seeing my attitude. That type of dynamic. For example I like shoving his chest whenever he's annoying (or perhaps when I'm flustered but I never said that). And sometimes, when I'm arguing I'm actually flirting. I know, I'm a confusing lass 🤌🏻.  but if you know me well you know if I'm actually angry or just into you.

I really like people who can easily talk to others and love having conversations. Someone who's genuinely curious about my inner world and what I think. Someone who's present and not in his head thinking about some trauma that happened five years ago or whether the dishes are done or whatever the helly else. Like just a guy who can sit there and be there with me without rush or urgency. Real presence.

Deep connection and community are part of my core values. I really value having close connections and I become very devoted/loyal once I trust someone. I really dream of that best friend energy. Like we can talk about anything, just hang out and have a whole slumber party just chatting to the wee hours of the morning in bed just being silly or talking about what's been bothering us, you know just normal stuff. But we both feel like we can just relax and be ourselves here. We don't need to pretend we are more knowledgeable or capable than we actually are. That kind of safety and bond is what I dream of.

Couple lifestyle related notes:

- I don't drink or smoke and never want to. I want a partner who feels the same way. Friendship wise it's fine if you drink occasionally (without trying to get drunk)

- I live in Finland and don't have interest in moving abroad

- I'm child-free by choice. I love children but I just wanna have fun doing what I want with my partner for the rest of my life so kids are a no thanks for me

My age range is about 23 to 33 give or take.

If you resonated with my post, send me a dm and introduce yourself :)

To my beloved whom I have always admired your curious mind that always seeks to understand my thoughts, dreams, my actions and always ready deepen our bond. I have forever loved you for not just your passion to be in a loving heartfelt relationship but you always find a way to inspire me to be a better human being, especially around you:) This is your long waited letter to you.

Sweetie, I am writing this to you with you in mind. I imagine you waiting for me under the starry skies looking at the stars and feeling admiration towards those bright distant lights and how you like to compare the problems you feel in life to the vastness of the universe, to give you a sense of peace. I sense you are a lonely soul that feels misunderstood, unseen and waiting for the day to truly express your beautiful heart, mind and soul to me.

I know you are very romantic at heart and I know you feel lost trying to find me. Those dreams of me you have is only an echo of me. I don’t want to wake you from your sleep because you looked so tired from your journey. But I’m letting you know I’m waiting next to you, looking at your peaceful smile, waiting for you to gently open your eyes from your dreams and hoping to meet your beautiful eyes with mine through it which I can gaze your soul. 

Our communication is not limited to mere words but is expressed though our eyes, presence and devotion towards each other. And my ears are always open, ready to hear your thoughts, dreams and your confessions. Lastly my mind always comes back to thinking about you. You have my full attention. 

I know you are very perceptive enough to understand the depth of my presence so I want you to find the answers you are looking for within me and one day be ready to embrace me with your heart and soul.

I know you will see me for my innocent child like sense of curiosity, my kindness towards all, my bluntness to get through you and my eyes are sharp enough to see through you but gentle enough to embrace you and most importantly my desire to understand you with the intention of getting close to you as possible.

I was told that I am more mature than my age group with an eagerness to support and guide people. But the truth is I feel tired from the battles in life and I’m sure you feel the same as me. I want to show our backs to each other and create a space for us to heal, grow strong and take the world on together.

I know you had a long journey to finally reach me and we had many battle scars to get here. So I’m hoping we take our time acknowledging each others journey and slowly transition to our own journey. I’m not in a rush to know you because I just want to spend time with you. And slowly learn to express our true self to one another and ultimately learn to accept each other.

My heart will open to you only because of your sincerity, patience and that curious mind of yours that is always ready to learn about the world and the depth of our bond. I have a lot of passions in life but the biggest one is exploring my other passions with you and your passions with me. I don’t mind if we don’t have anything in common because I will always try to learn about your world and interest and I know you will feel the same way as me.

Even though we are far away I know my voice alone has the presence to reach you, comfort you and bring you peace. I know sometimes physical distance feel like emotional distance but I don’t think that’s an obstacle, it’s our strength to prove our emotional connection and the world is too afraid to brings us together so soon. So have confidence that we will unite and start our journey soon.

Thank you for reading my love letter, if my letter felt resonated with you. Then I would love to talk you. I am looking for few things in a relationship.

1. 22+ ( I am happy to talk with you if you are younger but only if you strongly believe you are mature)

2. I’m looking for someone who has a strong craving for asking questions but also an attentive listener. I will also give you the same energy you rightfully deserve. I believe to deepen our emotional intimacy, we need to explore our minds deeply.

3. I’m looking for a relationship with the end goal of being in a marriage.

4. I know a lot of women have trust issues, especially around men online. To some level I understand but I need you to be comfortable talking on voice call after texting sometime. I have observed communicating over voice call gives me a better understanding of you and you of me rather than texting. IF YOU READ THIS FAR, I KNOW YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT FINDING YOU BELOVED. SO I WILL TAKE OUR TIME SERIOUSLY.

5. I am a really romantic person as shown in this post and I match incredibly well with someone who deeply wants to express their romantic side.

I know this is a long post but this just shows how serious I am. I know if I don’t mention this, people might have wrong expectations and might end up waisting their time on the wrong person. I hope, this is informative.

Hello!

Guess its my turn to post something haha.

I more or less got myself this new reddit account to have a sort of fresh start again.

Here's some information about me :)

- infp 4w5 though i recently did the test again and i got enfp. But according to the functions i still consider myself an infp

- im a 23 years old woman from germany. I'd like to make friends from all over the world, no matter the mbti type! So if you're at least a bit curious feel free to dm me. Especially the lurkers here who dont post but read 👍😂. Im open for all kinds of people ^^

- i already have someone serious in rl so i dont want to potentially get anyones hopes up. Yet eventhough im looking for friendship i dont want to force them either. So lets just have a chat and figure it out as we go along.

- my native language is german but im also fluent in english and spanish. I was a year in spain after high school and enjoyed it very much 🤗. Currently im trying to learn italian bc i consider it one of the most beautiful languages. But i have a huugeee list of activities as well as languages id like to learn, such as russian, chinese, japanese, korean, french etc

- as for my personality and interests i feel lightly slighted that i basically fit the stereotype lmao.

=> I love to travel and with that i mean that i feel a constant strong pull to travel somewhere and try new things out. From places to ice cream flavour and each time a different meal in the same restaurant.

I developed a taste for it since i lived in spain and it never stopped.

=> i like typical "grandma hobbys" like knitting (its so relaxing!), reading (i have literally too many piles T_T) and cooking/baking (pinterest is my dear friend haha). Also im vegan if anyones curious.

=> but also more "nerdy hobbys" like anime, video games, especially visual novels and farming/dating sims, and more or less recently i got into tcg. Not good at that yet but i"ll improve!

=> personality wise i think its better that you find out for yourself but as a general guideline.... as you see im very expressive in a tumblr/pinterest girl/cutesy sort of way. I care deeply about living according to my values and becoming, or rather, working towards becoming my "ideal self". What exactly that contains? You can ask me and we can have a deep philosophical discussion on how far someone can change or smth skdkskkdls.

(- if anyone cares: sun cap, moon taurus, rising sag. Oh and btw im an agnostic. I know a bit about spiritual stuff like astrology and tarot but eventhough i feel the pull to dive into these things i dont truly believe in them. I want to be a more logical, sciency person. But whatever floats your boat!! :D)

What im looking for:

- i'm someone who values all kinds of friendship. Those that are mostly focused around a specific topic/activity, then others that are more like accquaintences. Ofc deep, longterm and meaningful friendships are wonderful as well yet i believe that we shouldnt force connections. Whatever happens grows over time. Preferably i care about meaningful friendships that last a lifetime but as many things change over time i think that just being a good part in someones life is great too.

- MUTUAL EFFORT! Cant yell it out loud enough! I dont want to be the only one carrying the connection. I'll try to put my best foot forward but i'll make sure to match energy. Yeah i've been disappointed by lacking friends too. Maybe we'll bond over that.

- age range from 18-30 years, gender and mbti type doesnt matter. Thats because id like to connect with people closer to my age.

- i suppose if i had an ideal friend it would be the kind of person that you have natural chemistry with. Someone that you can be yourself around and feel safe, have mutual trust with and perhaps there are natural differences that compliment each other.

I always liked people that are more different than me instead of similar. I want to grow, learn and try lots of things out. I feel like the sort of naive protagonist that ventures hopefully into a new adventure.

Or at least thats the kind of vibe i portray ^^'.

I admire and like enfjs and entjs if that paints a picture.

What i offer:

- a friendship thats based on mutual trust and honesty, a natural feeling of safety and acceptance and making you feel cared for.

- my funny self ;). Thats a trait im genuinely proud of 👍✨️

- fun activities to do/conversations to have. Or at the very least im trying to plan things and get to know you truly.

End:

Thanks for reading so far! At this point im not sure what to add haha, so maybe ill update a bit. Or thinking of it actually... that might be a bad idea ^^'. This post is long enough as it is.

Have a great week and hopefully each one of you (i mean the good ones >_>) will find what youre looking. Be it friendship, a relationship or anything else.

See ya in my dms!

I’m 34 and live in Zagreb, Croatia. I’m looking for a woman I can talk to every day, make plans with and eventually build a life with. I want us to be each other’s first call, make time for each other naturally and miss each other when we’re apart.

We don’t need to share every hobby or spend every minute together. Maybe we cook, play something, talk about our day or do our own things in the same room. I want to make your good days better and your hard days easier, and I want you to do the same for me.

I run my own company, and these days my schedule is fairly flexible.

Gaming is my main hobby. I play most days, and a completely free evening can easily turn into a four-to-six-hour session. I’d rather be upfront about that than call myself casual and surprise you with a raid schedule three months later.

Lately it’s been Marvel Rivals, Darktide, Rogue Trader and PoE 2, with the occasional inexplicable evening spent cleaning patios in PowerWash Simulator.

You don’t need to be a hardcore gamer or already play everything I do. If trying a few games together actually sounds fun, that works too. I just don’t want gaming to be a major part of my life that you quietly put up with.

I’m also into board games, especially Marvel Champions, Arkham Horror and Wingspan. If you have a favourite, there’s a good chance you can talk me into trying it.

Outside gaming, I read quite a bit. One article can easily turn into seventeen tabs about psychology, technology, science, finance or something I knew nothing about that morning. Films, TV shows, comics and anime are all in the rotation too. Steel Panther appears on my playlists often enough that I can no longer blame irony.

My humour is dry, dark and not particularly politically correct. Once I’m comfortable, there isn’t much of a filter, so expect plenty of teasing, terrible dad jokes and the occasional thought that probably should have stayed in my head. I usually click best with women who know when I’m joking, tease me back, speak their minds and don’t take every stupid comment too seriously.

I’m the kind of man you never have to second-guess. If I say I’ll do something, I do it. If something’s wrong, I’d rather talk it through than leave you wondering where you stand. I’m patient, loyal and protective of the people I love, and I want the woman I’m with to know I’m on her side. When life gets difficult, my instinct is to roll up my sleeves and deal with it, not look for the nearest exit.

I’m drawn to a woman with that same kind of strength. She doesn’t need to pretend she never struggles, but she takes responsibility for her life and keeps going when things get hard. I want us to carry the heavy things together, not leave one person carrying both.

I’m pretty low-key socially. I see friends, go out for dinner or grab a drink, but I’ll take a quiet evening over a packed bar or club any day.

I live on my own, cook, keep my place tidy and train regularly in a home gym I put together. I’m 173 cm / 5'8", lean and athletic.

I don’t smoke, vape or use drugs, and I’m looking for the same. Having a couple of good beers once or twice a week is about my speed, although I’ve become enough of a beer nerd to have opinions nobody asked for.

When I’m into someone, it shows. I’m affectionate and consistent, and I make time for you. I like regular messages, calls, making plans and sending each other stupid things during the day. I want to know what’s happening in your world, and I want you to be just as interested in mine. I remember the little things too, so if you mention some project you’re working on, I’ll probably ask how it went three days later.

I’m probably a better fit with a woman in her mid-twenties to mid-thirties who doesn’t have children, has interests of her own, makes an effort to stay in shape and genuinely has room in her life for a relationship.

Politically, I’m somewhere around the centre, and religiously I’m agnostic. We don’t need to agree on everything. Being able to talk openly about it matters more to me.

I’ve travelled quite a bit in Asia and parts of Africa, and living abroad for a while appeals to me. Europe would obviously be easiest, but my business doesn’t permanently tie me to Croatia. I’m fine starting online, and more distance can work if there’s a realistic path to eventually living in the same place.

Your first message doesn’t need to be an autobiography or come with a photo. Tell me what you’re playing, which game you keep reinstalling, what you’d be curious to try if gaming isn’t already your thing, or just say hello and tell me a little about yourself. A slightly inappropriate joke works too.

If the conversation flows, we can move to a call. I’m just as happy talking for hours as playing something together, though ideally we’ll end up doing both at once.

You can choose the game for the first date. We’ll save ranked for the second.

Hey! I’m Luna.

Ngl, I’m actually looking for a bestie—someone I can genuinely feel comfortable with. I’m not really into the whole romantic bullshit or rushing into anything. What I really want is a genuine connection, someone who feels like a soulmate in the sense of having that deep understanding and comfort. Slow but meaningful. I’m ace/demi, so an emotional bond means much more to me than anything else.

A little about me:

 I love drawing, painting, and crafting.

 I like lilies, lotuses, sunflowers, tulips, and cacti.

Horror movies are my favourite.

I enjoy poems, philosophy, deep conversations, and music.

 I like space and plants.

I’m pretty introverted and usually enjoy listening more than talking. I like meaningful conversations and getting to know people beyond the surface.

As for the kind of person I hope to meet: someone kind, emotionally mature, wise, and genuinely caring. Someone who treats people with kindness, communicates honestly, listens, appreciates the little things, and has a good heart.

I’m also not really a kid person and generally prefer a quiet, independent lifestyle.

I’m not looking for perfection or trying to force anything. I’d just like to meet someone genuine, build a real connection, and see where it naturally goes.

And please, no creepy messages or people who are just bored and looking to waste my time.  If you’re genuinely interested in getting to know me and having a meaningful conversation, feel free to say hi.

Heyo 👋

I guess I am overthinking on how to introduce myself. How do I start to capture my essence of the ever evolving and ever changing being I am in a few paragraphs? But i’ll give it a go

I’m a 27 year old woman living in the East coast of US. I’m an INTP (mbti personality type), I have two serious degrees. I call myself a researcher, a scientist. Right now currently working as a computer engineer. I love my work, i think technology is amazing, its something i fell in love with as a kid with my dusty old computer my dad bought me. I moved here a couple of years ago and put myself through grad school. I made amazing friends, got to know amazing people. I like my life but some nights I lie awake and think maybe I’d like someone to share my life with.

I am neurodiverse. I read books, watch movies and have intellectual conversations with my friends. I love getting lost in a rabbit hole researching some obscure topics. I am a bit shy, and goofy when you get to know me.

In summer, I hike, i hangout, i travel to places with my friends, lots of outdoor activities and adventures. Come winter, I love staying in, hot chocolate, video games, more movies, and books.

About my appearance. I am a brown woman, south asian. I am curvy (i take it you like cake 🍰 hehe) 5’6”
I have long dark hair, doe eyes. Best I can describe is my build is like Florence Pugh. I try and take care of myself. I workout a couple of days a week, mainly cardio though i’d like a gym partner, to work on my upper body strength. Some days I am an energizer bunny, other days i’m a goth goblin who can sleep 10 hours a day hehe. Duality of a woman.

I definitely am not the simple kind when it comes to trying stuff out. I’m pretty open minded when it comes to people. People describe me as an introverted adorkable lovable robot. I can be childish one second, and a wise old woman the next. Somehow I am 12 and 50 all at the same time. My close friends would write yearning love letters about me (as I would for them). I’m loyal, honest, straightforward. Emotionally I might take time to open up and thats why i think its important to be friends first, no pressure and then if things progress in a different way i’d definitely go that way. I have friends who believe in true love and eagerly want it with all their heart and soul. While I believe in true love, I don’t think life owes it to me. I know true love exist, but its rare. Either I have it or I don’t, but i definitely would love to have it.

I am looking for cerebral conversational intimacy, i think if you can get my mind, you’ll have my heart. I like men in touch with their emotions (maybe because i am not lol) i don’t wear my feelings on my sleeves, but I can bombard you with 10 obscure facts instead hehe. The bigger the nerd you are, the better. You might need to be more assertive and take the lead as I am not very experienced in dating. I am looking for the slow burn, intellectual and authentic connection.

Be it romantic or platonic love, I think loving someone is still fundamentally loving them as a human being. Maybe I can do love right. Maybe i can feel love like you other humans do. And to everyone else who is looking for love, gosh i hope you all find love. We all deserve it even though life likes to play funny games with us

Hey!

I'm new here, so i'm a ENTP dating an ISTP but is a bit rare to me. When we are together things feels easy and fun but in text he's a bit distant, i don't know how are they in romantic ways.

He's trying to understand me, but i need some help to understand him too.

Anybody that is istp or is dating an istp can tell me how are they in love? I need some tips to be patient with him.

Thank you everybody

Hello, I'm not aussie just living here. I'm in a transition period of my life, its exciting and I hope to share it with someone.

I'm short, just 5'11 and I wish I could break into the 6 region. Its like getting 2nd place at a competition. There but not quite there, could have made it a clean EVEN number, pun intended. Thankfully for shoes amirite. I just wanna know when I shrink as an old asian dude, I'd still be able to nonchalantly reach the top shelf 🤣

My hobbies are nerdy, I like to read self-growth books and manhwa/mangas. I occasionally watch anime or whatever shows depending on what I subscribe to that month. With both I tend to be drawn into mystery, thriller, comedy and.. romance hahah Somehow romance novels has a good timey wimey explanation about the protagonist and I like these creative ideas. I also play games but prefer having a player 2. Saw someone said this and I thought it was very smart- "I'll be player 2 and you'd be player 1 because you'd always be my number 1" \\\*cries in cringe\\\* but dayum! I like pokemon too, not a big major fan in that but I just like cutesey stuff. Thankfully I don't sink money into tcgs.

I do however sink money into food. I wouldn't call myself a food connoisseur or a chef but its a mini sense of victory when I cooked something delicious!

I think deeply about things and I believe its one of my biggest strengths just not when things become too political. I'm not a religious person but I believe in spiritual things. I think religions are derivations of the unknown that we as humans cannot fully grasp. So we create religions based on our own interpretation and understanding of it. And I'm happy for religions being different because it means that everyone has a system that they can follow or don't to make themselves feel at ease and part of a community.

Here are things I hope you are:

I hope you don't take life too seriously and by that I mean you aren't too depressed and are capable of a healthy mindset. I've seen some post on here and well, I can only wish the best for them.

I have no issues if you are religious, I have seen a friend broke up a 9 year relationship over it. Its sad but its life I guess.

I believe every individual is valuable in that even if we had a spark, dated, never worked out or just want to remain friends, it is just a chapter in our life that we can learn from. I'm grateful to the experiences.

If you wanna be friends, I'd be happy to! Just let it be clear in your message.

If you send a photo, I'll send one back. Just be warned, aunties used to smile at me a lot, maybe they think I'm cute?

Please be between 24-35. If you're not but my post resonates with you, feel free to reach out still! Age isn't as important as a connection to me, just don't be weird.

If you reach out, tell me what resonated with you in my post, something about yourself, maybe a genre you like, a song you listen to, a philosophical question like the meaning of life, idk make it a fun topic, I'll resonate the same energy back!

I wonder if yall can tell I'm INFP from my post lol

Open to online/long distance.

Hi! I figured I’d throw myself into the void and see who’s out there. I’m hoping to meet some genuinely cool people and make a few friends.

I’m introverted and definitely take a little time to warm up, but once I’m comfortable, I can be overwhelmingly talkative. I prefer meaningful conversations, random late night thoughts, and getting to know what makes someone them rather than sticking to endless small talk.

A little about me:

• 28, INFJ, Tennessee girl :)

• I love deep conversations. Politics, psychology, languages, philosophy, science, space, religions, people, why we do the things we do, and all the random rabbit holes that can start with one innocent question.

• I’m a BIG fan of books, reading and writing, bookstores, coffee shops, farmers markets, antique and thrift stores.

• I enjoy gaming, especially cozy/life-sim types.

• I’m into too many creative things and tend to bounce between different interests depending on what I’m is currently obsessed with (right now it’s Legos lol)

• I like being outside, exploring, getting out of the house and traveling, even though my introvert side is also perfectly happy staying home.

• I appreciate people who have a good sense of humor and don’t take themselves too seriously.
I’m much more interested in genuine connection than collecting a giant list of online acquaintances.

• Hoping to find friends who can go from having a deep and meaningful conversation about life to laughing over something completely ridiculous five minutes later.

So if any of this sounds like someone you could be friends with, reach out and say hi! :)

Tell me something you’re currently obsessed with, a random fact you love, or something you could happily talk about forever.

Hello, I'm trying this app looking for friends first then love :-) if you want to chat, send me a message.

About me: I don't have kids and never been married. I have my own business. I like outdoors hiking or swimming. I like reading books too. I enjoy music and art. I would say I am a hopeless romantic. I am looking for someone to be my lifetime partner, someone who is a caring and thoughtful person.

Ask me anyrhing and feel free to chat.

Me: https://ibb.co/FLb1KVYD

Hi!

Has anyone had success with finding a partner here?

About me:

- Asian raised and based in Finland.
- Works in a bank
- Gym, jogging, healthy habits.
- Emotionally available.

Fun facts:
- Spends too much time optimizing investment portfolio 🙈

- Uses first principles to reason skills to develop in the age of AI with mixed results; colleagues in awe and disbelief. Learning to communicate better henceforth.

- Has a silent friendship with a grandma at gym. We never talk, we just nod. It is perfect.

Looking for significant female other.

Thank you for your time! :)

Hey! I'm 23 and based in London. I'm hoping to meet someone who is looking for a genuine long-term relationship, values good communication, and is also certain they don't want children.

Modern dating has never really felt like the best fit for me. Swiping through profiles and trying to make instant impressions of someone doesn't really allow you to understand who they are. I'd much rather take the time to build trust, learn about someone's personality, and see if we naturally connect.

A bit about me: I'm Black, 5'10, with a slim athletic build, and I'm neurodivergent.

Music is one of my biggest passions. I listen to a lot of rock and metal, alongside some DnB and electronic music, and you'll usually find me at a gig whenever there's one I'm interested in.

Outside of that, I enjoy gaming (Persona, Doom, Final Fantasy, and plenty more), going to the cinema, playing football, cycling, visiting theme parks, and trying new activities.

I'm generally introverted and reserved, but I enjoy meaningful conversations and getting to know people properly.

I'd describe myself as thoughtful, dependable, and easy-going. I'm independent and enjoy my own company, but I think life is better when you have someone you genuinely connect with to share experiences with.

Whether that's going to concerts, talking about something you're passionate about, or simply spending a quiet evening together, I value having someone who feels like a genuine partner and best friend.

I'm looking to meet someone who is:
• Aged around 19-26
• UK-based (London or nearby ideally)
• Also certain they don't want children
• Honest, communicative, and reliable

More than anything, I'm looking for someone who is kind, emotionally mature, and willing to communicate openly. Nobody gets everything right all the time, but I appreciate people who are honest about how they feel and willing to work through things together.

I believe shared values are far more important than having identical hobbies. Having things in common is great, but I think the way two people treat each other is what ultimately makes a relationship work.

I'm happy to share a photo early because I'm aware that mutual attraction matters, and I'd rather be upfront than waste anyone's time.

If this resonates with you, I'd like to hear from you. Tell me your age, where you're from, a bit about yourself, and what you're looking for.

Thanks for reading 🙂