u/CatPawsCatPaws__

I’m 39F, ENFP 4w3 sx, and currently in a strange, scary, but interesting rebuilding chapter of my life. I left my corporate job this year and I’m starting my own firm in a highly regulated industry. I’m single in a big city where much of the dating pool feels like NPCs, and I recently realized that while I have social friends and things to do, I miss having someone I can just call at night and talk to for an hour about something, or just listen to them talk about whatever excites them.

I’m especially interested in finding an INTJ or INTP because I like people who will follow an idea much farther than is socially necessary. I like INTP rabbitholes and INTJ incisiveness.

My “type” is someone smarter than I am, or in a different way: brilliant in a technical way. I love scientists, optimizers, engineers, technologists, mathematicians, researchers, etc.

I think in systems, am a strategist and can usually follow a thread, but I’m not particularly competent at most of the above, which is probably why I find people who are to be oh so very magnetic.

Height doesn’t matter to me. For a relationship weight does (I like skinny men, it’s a preference), for just talking the physical stuff doesn’t matter at all.

I’m working on some cool projects:
Current major project #1 is founding my firm from scratch.

Current major project #2 is rebuilding my body. I did not take good care of myself during my years in the corporate pressure cooker, and I’m working on my body with excellent results.

I’ve lost a substantial amount of weight this year, I lift 3–4x/week, and I’m teaching myself to run. I recently finished my first 5K race (3713th place, whee!) and I’m fascinated by watching what happens when you apply consistent effort to a body over time. I track everything, of course. I’m basically my own little n=1 experiment right now.

Outside of that, I can happily talk about psychology, MBTI/Enneagram, relationships, personal finance, running, behavioral economics, philosophy, ethics, cities, art, weird interpersonal dynamics, why people construct their lives the way they do, or what you dreamed last night. I’m also an artist (internationally famous, but only in a niche community, long story).

I’m very ENFP in the sense that I’m curious, enthusiastic, affectionate and warm, but I’m not the loud, chaotic, all-over-the-place ENFP stereotype. I will, however, cheer you on toward whatever happiness means to you.

I don’t need to speak every day, and prefer a fairly independent friendship where sometimes one of us texts “phone?” and then we disappear into a conversation for an hour or two. I’m not an all-day texter; I like focusing on whatever I’m doing and usually spend my days working. Best time to talk is usually around 9:30–11pm Eastern.

You don’t need to be socially polished!
Awkward is fine.
Neurodivergent is fine.
Extremely introverted is fine, actually, that’s a big plus :)

Miscellaneous character stats:
39, but a stranger recently asked what subject I’m studying in school, so apparently I look younger
5’2”, pale, dark brown hair, dark blue eyes, round face, feminine, cute, pretty in a gentle romantic way
I have no children, no debt, no tattoos, and have never been married
My politics are based around compassion: I lean left therefore but am not very politically active. I am very charitably inclined, however.
My N is off the charts—something like 90+% intuitive—and I tend to click best with people who are similarly abstract
I hold two difficult-to-obtain professional credentials and am proud of being very competent at what I do
In relationships I am monogamous and loyal loyal loyal
The only game I really play anymore is Minecraft but my horizons can be expanded
I am a tiny cinnamon roll

Men or women welcome: I’ve dated both. Platonic is genuinely fine; I’m much more interested in finding someone whose brain I enjoy. We don’t even have to meet.

One important caveat: sometimes I’m attracted to people immediately, but it’s rare. I get scared off easily when someone tries to make things romantic or sexual before I’m there. I’m DEFINITELY neither aromantic nor asexual, but pressure too soon will make me want to disappear. So please, reach out only if you’re comfortable letting whatever this is be whatever it naturally becomes.

I’m looking for someone to know as a person, not someone to fill a role.

If this resonates, send me your age/mbti, what you do or are currently building/learning, and what interests you most right now.

If you want to reach out but fear of rejection or deep introversion is stopping you, you are probably one of my people and should DEFINITELY reach out.

Here’s a recent photo of me. https://imgur.com/a/XAb0AFR