r/20sIndiaRelationships

A bit more about me

- My toxic trait is believing I can fix my life with chai and a mountain trip

- I may act reserved initially, but give me 3 business days and I’ll start sending reels

- Still waiting for someone who’ll tolerate my 90s Bollywood playlist obsession

- Will probably judge you if you say coffee > tea

- I treat dogs on the street like celebrities

- I watch thriller series like I’m personally involved in the investigation

- Can discuss startup ideas at 2 AM and then cry laughing at TMKOC clips

- Debugging code is easier than understanding mixed signals

- Looking for someone to romanticize grocery shopping and chai breaks with

- Bonus points if you also say ‘one last episode’ and then watch 5 more

- If we vibe, I’ll probably cook for you before flirting properly

- Searching for a person who’ll match my energy for random late-night walks and unnecessary dessert plans

You can judge me 😭🥺

I am a 21yo M

I think i m in love with a girl(21) i used to sit with back in my early primary classes....

we were close friend back then but as we moved ahead to senior classes our friendship faded. i hardly remember anything about our friendship.

after 10th our streams changed and we totally lost contact...

she was suggested by insta almost like 2.5 years ago so i followed her but at that time i had no feelings for her...

me mutually followed each other and then when she posted story of her birthday i simply replied happy birthday "...." after that she extened chat with me and we talked about life and career...

even at this time i had no feelings for her

after that we had few conversations during this 2-3 yrs period ocassionally .

i never approached her i never tried to extend chat with her.

whenver we had a chat she always extended it...

i remember i felt something for her like 6 months ago but it was not that intense but this feeling gradually increased...

in april 2026 i finally accepted and realised i am in love with her...

after that i tried to put stories in a way thinking that she might reply on it and i got a reply and i extended chat with her... but i forgot our past chat we had in which we discussed about career etc... so I asked her some questions in reply of which she told me that we already had a chat on these questions...

conversation felt less enthusiastic this time by her side....

in the end i wanted to make her feel special so i replied "nice talking with u, i discussed with a school friend almost after 3 years"

then she replied "well, we had chat previously too but whatever"

this reply using this word "whatever" made me feel so bad...

I think this was so rude from her side as i didnt text her a single word which might make her think i am simping i was just hsowing concern for her career...and after that i tried posting stories on which i was expecting her reply but she didnt reply to any of them after that chat... (usually she doesnt reply to stories and she never likes any story).

btw she is a fan of korean band

To me all this love etc.. were so cringe but recently when i fall into this feeling i feel so bad and good at the same time...

her thoughts are just unstoppable sometimes... not even single day passed without day dreaming about her... my sleep is disturbed tooo...

i started working on my physique and career aggressively hoping she would accept me someday...

but sometimes her thoughts distract me from my schedule...

This one sided shit is making my condition worse day by day...

bs esa lgta h ki use jaake bta dun apni feelings...

I searched my condition over internet and got to know about infatuation and limerence...

but to be honest i am not able to accept that its just an attraction.

but sometimes I doubt that how can i love her when i actually dont know her properly.

Should I stop thinking about any possibilities of us being together(which is close to impossible for me) but i can stop extending chat with her and not replying to any of her story ( she hardly post anything)... or should i try my best to give some meaning to these feelings 💔

Any senior bhaiya or didi please guide me

btw Sorry for any grammatical mistake

Ten years of silence, not a word,

now you're sending reels, how absurd,

didn't have the time back then,

funny how you found it again.

Said you never watched my stories,

now you're first in all my glories,

viewing everything I post,

baby I thought your style was to ghost.

Liking this and liking that,

pretending we were just like that,

holding conversations, acting keen,

where was this fascination since we were fifteen?

I tried to find us common ground,

you couldn't even look around,

now you're interested in my taste,

ten years too slow, ten years too late.

You had a plan, a great big one,

things to do and heights to run,

I remember very well you see,

I was nowhere in that plan sweetpea.

So what went wrong with the grand design,

did it not work out quite so fine,

did the great plan lose its way,

and now you're here in my DMs today.

Tell me what you're looking for,

tell me what you came back for,

be specific,

so I know,

exactly what to

never give you again.

– Velvet Thorne 💜

27M. Never been in a relationship before.

A few years ago I had feelings for someone for almost 2 years during college. I cared about her a lot, but I never expressed it properly because I was scared of ruining the friendship we already had. Eventually another guy proposed to her and they got together. It completely broke me emotionally for a long time.

Since then I’ve become very hesitant around women. I overthink everything, get attached too quickly if the vibe feels good, and at the same time I’m scared to open up because I feel like I’ll just get hurt again.

Sometimes I meet people where the conversation flows naturally and I feel a genuine connection, but it often feels one-sided or they’re simply not interested in that way. I don’t blame them, but it does make me wonder if I’m doing something wrong.

I genuinely want to get better at talking to people naturally, forming healthy connections, and not becoming emotionally dependent too fast.

For people who went through something similar, how did you overcome attachment issues and fear of rejection later in life?

Ok so I’m new to this sub and don’t really know how things actually work here but anyway...

I’m almost 22 and I’ve been single for a while (1.5 years ig)

The main reason I haven’t dated anyone since my last relationship ended is that I just haven’t found anyone genuinely interesting... I also needed a break anyways so I stopped focusing on relationships altogether and invested myself completely into my career....

So basically I ignore people who approach me... But tbh sometimes like today I feel this emptiness... like I miss having someone to share emotions with... basically I lowkey miss that comfort zone....

Should I consider dating someone even if I don’t really like them that much right now??? Idk why but I also feel like I wouldn’t be able to give my hundred percent to a relationship at the moment

and honestly I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by getting into something half heartedly... But this empty feeling I talked about is making me think that maybe I should start considering dating again....

I am single by birth and it makes me kinda feel FOMO seeing so many couples around.

Do simple/genuine people have any chance of finding someone to love or just the "Cool" people?

I really love the genuine bond between humans. I want to spend time together, go on trips, explore street food stalls.

I am M23 working as a software developer in Bangalore. I like cooking, singing, playing cards/board games. I play cricket/Badminton sometimes (too less frequent after coming to Bangalore).

​

I’m 20M and my girlfriend is 20F. Problem ye hai ki woh apne toxic ex (first love) ko completely bhool nahi pa rahi lagti. 3 saal ho gaye breakup ko but har 3-4 din mein kisi na kisi context mein uska naam aa hi jata hai. Kabhi kabhi jab main us bande ko bura bolta hu toh woh bol deti hai “itna bhi bura nahi tha”, aur honestly wahi baat mere dimag mein reh jaati hai.

Starting mein usne bola tha ki usse mere liye utni attachment nahi thi. Relationship ke first month mein indirectly mujhe us ex se compare bhi kiya tha, although baad mein deny kar diya. Phir around 5th month uski feelings aur attachment kaafi better hui aur usne proper commitment diya.

Uske kaafi exes reh chuke hain, around 9 according to her. Woh bolti hai ki mostly short relationships the, jaldi khatam ho gaye ya manipulation tha.

Main honestly kaafi confused aur insecure feel kar raha hu. Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ki woh genuinely move on kar chuki hai ya nahi.

Jab maine directly poocha ki woh baar baar uska naam kyun leti hai toh usne bola:

“Uske liye mere paas feelings ya soft corner nahi hai. Bas kuch arguments aur buri memories yaad aa jati hain toh bura feel hota hai. Mujhe regret hai ki woh meri life mein aaya hi kyun. Parents aur old environment ki wajah se bhi uski yaad aa jati hai. Papa abhi bhi kabhi phone check karte hain kyunki unhe lagta hai main usse baat karti hu. Mere aas paas ke log bhi uska naam lete rehte the, isliye trigger ho jata hai. Main usse pyar nahi karti.”

Ab mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ki is situation ko mature way mein kaise handle karun. Main overthink bhi nahi karna chahta but baar baar ex ka topic aane se mentally affect ho raha hu.

Relationship continue karte hue mujhe kya approach rakhni chahiye? Kaise samjhu ki woh actually move on kar chuki hai ya nahi?