u/unknownpattern001

Sb apna apna batayenge.

Straight from the personal journals of Franz Kafka (1912–1914).

I personally never gotten in a relationship but the way Kafka explained the human relationship and how sometimes loves fades out got my attention.

Kafka breaks down what I can only call the illusion of the "final fight." We grow up watching movies that CONVINCE us things end with screaming, slammed doors, and crying in the rain. But in real life, love usually dies of NEGLECT, not violence. It just fades into the everyday routine; the unanswered texts, the dry one-word replies, the inside jokes that suddenly feel AWKARD to make out loud.

He talks about the death of a PRIVATE world. When you genuinely love someone, you build this tiny, two-person UNIVERSE together. You have nicknames nobody else knows, shared memories that make zero sense to strangers, and an UNSPOKEN rhythm. The real heartbreak hits when you realize that private universe is slowly decaying back into ordinary, cold REALITY.

And HONESTLY, what hurts the most is what he calls the agony of the slow drift. There’s a brutal kind of helplessness in watching someone else’s INTEREST cool off while yours is still burning at full heat. You can’t even fight for it because there’s no clear enemy to CONFONT, just a quiet, steady WITHDRAWL of energy that leaves you holding all the memories entirely on your OWN.

This is one of the most inspirational writings I came across in a long time. This is a classic philosophical text written by the Roman Stoic philosopher Epictetus.

I will not waste your time by explaining how Epictetus was born and how he lived his childhood, instead I'll give you my point of view about the practical rule for skill-building and personal growth we can understand from his quote.

The Cost of Progress: The price of becoming GREAT at anything is your willingness to let people think you are currently foolish. If you are terrified of looking bad, you will never take the risky, clumsy FIRST steps required to become good.

Let Them Misjudge You: When people label you as "foolish, stupid, or clueless," do not waste a single second correcting them. Their misjudgment is a SHIELD. While they are busy underestimating you and assuming you know nothing, you are free to EXECUTE your WORK in total silence without them interfering.

Ignore the Gallery: The world demands that you look polished at all times. Epictetus commands you to burn that need for applause. Let the crowd judge your current baseline while you FOCUS entirely on your future OUTPUT.

Most accurately recorded as "It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse." While modern internet culture frequently misattributes this line to Napoleon Bonaparte because of the military imagery, but it was actually coined by American statesman, diplomat, and two-time presidential candidate, Adlai Stevenson II.

This thought teaches us about command and self-image.

Leadership Demands Total Immersion: You cannot INFLUENCE or lead a group of people if you are holding onto a FRAGILE ego or worrying about being judged. The moment you step into a position of authority, you must fully INHABIT the role. If you are half-hearted, self-conscious, or embarrassed by the theater of your position, your followers will immediately sense your insecurity and lose FAITH.

The Switch of Self-Doubt: High INTELLIGENCE often brings acute self-consciousness. Intellectuals frequently fail to lead because they are too busy analyzing how "silly" or IMPERFECT they look from the outside. Stevenson points out that execution requires you to turn off that inner critic.

Own the Horse: In life, the "horse" represents whatever platform, responsibility, or bold action you have taken. It might feel UNNATURAL , people might laugh, and you might feel totally out of your depth. But if a BATTLE needs to be fought, you have to ride it with absolute, unapologetic conviction. True authority isn't about being flawless; it's about refusing to let your own self-consciousness stall the CHARGE.

This psychology often used by many leaders, sports personalities, etc around the world. And I think its one of my fav from now.

I don't know who and how many people will be reading this but, it will get messy at some point.

Once I used to be a simple 13 yr old boy, 15 yr old boy,17 yr old boy and now suddenly I am a 20 yr old man. I used to be a high school kid studying and now suddenly I am a 3rd yr clg student doing nothing. I know time change, circumstances change but today I've realized you gotta change over that time, you can't be the same person throughout. Noone's telling that I am making no money but I know they have kept their expectations and hopes that I will do something that will change final outcome.

You know what, I'm trying.

Trust me I am actually trying. From learning new skills, to starting a web dev agency with my friend, constantly gathering and consuming all the info. about AI, I am doing everything from my standpoint. I don't think my life is chaos instead my life has been too simple as much I've lived it, but I've prolly not delivered what I had been expected from a 20 yr old myself.

I prolly gonna laugh at this, laugh at all my writings and this 20 yr old me ten years down the line. I don't know whether I'd be an entrepreneur, working 9-5 in a company or doing nothing but one thing is certain that I'll do something big.

I don't think my life is a story of ups and downs but it is of self-realization what my potential is.

The absolute core of this theory belongs to the 20th-century Canadian-American sociologist Erving Goffman.

This theory sparked from the very observation of everyday life of a human. It explains how every human mind is chaotic, filled with trauma, hidden desires, and unspoken fears; yet we all walk around pretending to be simple, predictable characters.

This law will help you understand human being by reading more than just their external act.

The Character is Not the Person: Never mistake the simple persona someone presents to you for who they actually are. The POLITE coworker, the smiling friend, the calm authority figure; they are all doing heavy psychological lifting to suppress their INTERNAL chaos. You are only ever talking to their "actor."

The Tax of Being Social: We use simple LABELS ("I'm just tired," "It's all good," "I'm a simple guy") as a shield. It is too exhausting to explain the true depth of our minds to others, so we summarize ourselves into flat, readable CARTOONS for public consumption.

The Key to True Power and Influence: The person who understands this rule gains a MASSIVE advantage. While the amateur reacts to the "simple act" someone puts on, the master watches the cracks in the performance. When you accept that everyone is infinitely complicated and terrified of being EXPOSED, you stop judging their surface-level behavior. Instead, you start looking for what their SIMPLICITY is trying to hide.

The absolute core of this theory belongs to the 20th-century Canadian-American sociologist Erving Goffman.

This theory sparked from the very observation of everyday life of a human. It explains how every human mind is chaotic, filled with trauma, hidden desires, and unspoken fears; yet we all walk around pretending to be simple, predictable characters.

This law will help you understand human being by reading more than just their external act.

The Character is Not the Person: Never mistake the simple persona someone presents to you for who they actually are. The POLITE coworker, the smiling friend, the calm authority figure; they are all doing heavy psychological lifting to suppress their INTERNAL chaos. You are only ever talking to their "actor."

The Tax of Being Social: We use simple LABELS ("I'm just tired," "It's all good," "I'm a simple guy") as a shield. It is too exhausting to explain the true depth of our minds to others, so we summarize ourselves into flat, readable CARTOONS for public consumption.

The Key to True Power and Influence: The person who understands this rule gains a MASSIVE advantage. While the amateur reacts to the "simple act" someone puts on, the master watches the cracks in the performance. When you accept that everyone is infinitely complicated and terrified of being EXPOSED, you stop judging their surface-level behavior. Instead, you start looking for what their SIMPLICITY is trying to hide.

Paraphrased from the raw notes of Sigmund Freud.

Through this thought he provides a zero fluff lens for reading romantic and deep emotional attachments:

Vulnerability is an Invitation to Control: True love requires vulnerability, but vulnerability inherently shifts the balance of POWER. The moment someone knows exactly how much you care, they know exactly how much they can get away with.

The Subconscious Testing: Even the most well-meaning partner will subconsciously "test the blade." This doesn't mean they want to destroy the relationship; it means human ego demands to see where your BREAKIING point is. They will push a boundary, withdraw AFFECTION, or drop a sharp comment just to see how much power they truly hold over your EMOTIONAL state.

Never Drop Your Baseline Armor: This lens tells you that unconditional, BLIND surrender in love is a psychological hazard. To maintain RESPECT in any relationship, the other person must always be subtly aware that while you love them, your self-worth is non-negotiable. If you let them think they can stab you without you ever walking away, the TEMPTATION of the blade will eventually become too strong for them to resist.

Picked from a foundational sociological and psychological masterworks of Gustave Le Bon.

The above thought navigates you through public debates, corporate environments, or social circles whenever mass drama erupts.

Reason Fails Against Emotion: Never waste your energy trying to use LOGIC, facts, or data to argue with an angry mob, a toxic online group, or a unified corporate clique. A CROWD operates entirely on raw emotion and primal instincts. The moment a group adopts a specific narrative, they are no longer searching for what is TRUE; they are searching for what feels GOOD.

The Danger of the Truth-Teller: If you stand up in front of a delusional crowd and present the cold, hard facts, do not expect them to thank you for correcting them. They will view you as an existential THREAT. By shattering their comfortable illusion, you are forcing them to face their own ugliness, and their immediate reaction will be to turn their anger away from the ILLUSION and directly onto you.

The Mechanism: Human groups naturally look for a VILLAIN to absorb their stress. If a project fails, if a community fractures, or if a society suffers, people rarely look in the mirror. Instead, they find a single target, label them as the absolute cause of all problems, and "burn" them through cancellation, firing, or social exile. Recognize this mechanism early, keep your distance from mass hysterias, and never expect a crowd to have a conscience.

Taken from a book of Mark Twain(American author). The above thought resembles around a deep psychology of human nature. This thought will probably give you a sharp, warning lens for whenever you decide to lift someone else up.

Beware the Resentment of the Rescued: When you do an immense favor for someone, save them from a bad situation, or hand them an opportunity they didn't EARN on their own, you are unknowingly planting a seed of resentment. Expecting them to LOVE you forever because you saved them is a fundamental misunderstanding of human ego.

The Ego Demands Equal Footing: A human cannot stand feeling indebted to another HUMAN for too long. To balance the scales of POWER in their own mind, they will eventually look for a reason to villainize you. If you make a man prosperous, he will often find a way to justify biting you, convincing himself that you were the OPPRESSOR all along.

Help Without Expectations: This doesn't mean you should never help anyone; it means you must do it with your eyes wide OPEN. Do not help people to build an army of loyal followers. Understand that the moment the "starving dog" gets teeth, his very first instinct might be to test them on you. Protect your perimeter, guard your vulnerabilities, and never assume that charity buys LOYALTY.

A fundamental law famously articulated by the mid-20th century French philosopher and writer Jean-Paul Sartre. He explained it using three important points.

The Glass Ceiling of Friendship: Most people are perfectly HAPPY to support you, give you advice, and cheer you on as long as you stay within the box they have assigned to you*.* They LOVE playing the role of the helper because it makes them feel superior. The moment you step outside that box and threaten to SURPASS them, their support turns into silent resentment, or passive-aggressive comments.

The Proximity of Envy: Envy is a disease of proximity. A BEGGAR does not envy a millionaire; they envy the other beggar who got a slightly bigger bowl. The people most likely to feel threatened by your GROWTH are not your enemies; they are your peers, your colleagues, and sometimes even your FAMILY.

The Price of Elevation: True growth requires you to ACCEPT that you will outgrow people. If you insist on keeping everyone happy, you will unconsciously stunt your own potential just to keep the people around you feeling COMFORTABLE. Moving up means accepting the loneliness that comes when the crowd stops cheering and starts calculating your DISTANCE from them.