u/hertannedskin

Did anyone else catch the Dance Society performance on the ground today?? The moment the guy gave the girl a rose mid dance performance 😭😭😭 It was SO Bollywood-coded, I genuinely can’t 😭 What do you guys think????

Anyone has taken addmission in gandhinagar University for bcom ?? More like gic ??? If yes, reach out to me via dms... nd if you are senior/alumni gimme your suggestions about University like faculty, fest, crowd, campus, etc etc

Anyone has taken addmission in Gandhinagar University for bcom ?? More like GIC ??? If yes, reach out to me via dms... nd if you are senior/alumni gimme your suggestions about University like faculty, fest, crowd, campus, etc etc

Hiee !!!!

I'm 18F, and I've recently started realizing that I have a lot of avoidant attachment patterns. I'm honestly getting really tired of being like this and I want to understand how to work on it.

For some context, my parents divorced when I was around 2–3 years old. I didn't really grow up with a mother figure, and my dad has worked abroad for most of my childhood, so I haven't had much consistent emotional closeness with either parent. Looking back, I think I became very used to dealing with things on my own and not expecting much emotional support from people.

I've also never really had male friends or much interaction with boys growing up. Then, in 11th grade, I unexpectedly became friends with one of my male classmates. He was extremely friendly and naturally very social with girls, but because I had basically no experience with male friendships, his attention made me feel really special.

Eventually we got into a relationship.

At first, I was genuinely very happy. I've always been a hopeless romantic and used to imagine having that "perfect" relationship. I don't date casually—I tend to get emotionally invested and imagine a future with the person.

But the relationship slowly became really unhealthy. He was overly friendly and flirtatious with other girls, constantly wanted to be in everyone's good books, lied to me about things, and there were situations that made me genuinely question whether he had been unfaithful. He wasn't very emotionally supportive either. There were times when I was crying in front of him and he wouldn't really comfort or reassure me. I also rarely felt appreciated or validated.

The weird part is that I almost never confronted him about any of it. I would get hurt, overthink everything, cry alone and then just pretend I was okay. I think a part of me was terrified of losing the relationship because, at that point, it was one of the only close emotional connections I had.

Eventually I broke up with him because the relationship had become too toxic for me. After the breakup, he often portrayed himself as the victim, which made everything even more confusing.

Most of my friendships had also come through him, so after the breakup I basically lost my entire social circle at once. It was a very lonely period.

That relationship completely changed the way I look at love. I used to be such a hopeless romantic, but now the idea of relationships sometimes makes me uncomfortable or even scares me. I still WANT love, though. I still want a healthy relationship someday. I just don't seem to know how to actually receive love without feeling overwhelmed by it.

And this is where I really struggle.

If someone gives me a lot of attention, affection or emotional closeness, I sometimes get an immediate "ick" and want to distance myself—even when the person hasn't done anything wrong. This can happen with people I genuinely care about, and sometimes even with my own dad.

At the same time, when I feel emotionally neglected, I desperately want to feel loved and understood.

It's like I simultaneously crave closeness and run away from it.

I also tend to distance myself from people very quickly when I feel overwhelmed or when they start draining me, even if they're otherwise good people. I can become emotionally detached, stop communicating properly and convince myself that I'd rather be alone. Then later I wonder why I feel lonely.

I don't want to keep repeating this cycle.

I don't want to blame everything on my childhood or my ex either. I know I'm responsible for working on myself now. I just genuinely don't know where to start.

For anyone who has experienced avoidant attachment and actually managed to become more secure:

How did you do it?

What helped you become comfortable with receiving affection and emotional closeness without feeling suffocated or wanting to run away? Did therapy help? Were there specific things you practiced in relationships or friendships?

I'd really appreciate practical advice from people who have actually worked through this. I don't want to become dependent on people—I just want to be able to have healthy, close relationships without constantly feeling the need to withdraw. 😭

I also forgot to mention that even though I've mostly moved on, he still affects me more than I'd like to admit. I've blocked him everywhere, and when I finally thought I was completely over him and genuinely didn't care anymore, I randomly checked his Instagram through another account and it felt like all the healing I thought I'd done just crashed down. 🥲 I don't want to get back together with him and I very clearly remember how shitty he treated me, yet there's still this weird, unhealthy attachment that I can't completely shake. I still can't fully hate him despite everything, and sometimes I don't even understand why I care when I KNOW how badly the relationship affected me. It's like my brain knows I'm done with him, but emotionally there's still some part of me holding on. I don't know if this is normal after a toxic relationship or if I'm just not as over it as I thought I was, but it's honestly so frustrating 😭😭. If anyone has gone through something similar, how did you actually detach emotionally from someone you know you don't want back ??

Someone please enlighten me what the fuck is wrong with me 😭

Somebody please help me learn Piano Man on the harmonica 😭😭. Everyone keeps saying it’s one of the easiest instruments and that this is one of the easiest songs to play, but it’s been SO difficult for me 😭.

I keep playing the wrong holes. I’ve watched so many YouTube tutorials where they say to count the holes and then play, and I’m doing exactly that, but somehow I still can’t get it right. I can’t even recognise whether I’m playing the correct hole or not 😭. I’m following the tutorials, the mouth position, everything… but I still feel like I’m missing something.

Also, why does my stomach go IN when I inhale instead of out? Does that make any difference when playing the harmonica?

Somebody please guide me 😭😭. I really, really want to learn this song!