u/Beneficial-Feed-8378

I have tried everything, reaching out to people online, trying to meet people offline, I tried whatever I can, but I just feel extremely lonely, I am so exhausted of getting ghosted, I just need someone to be free with uk.

This is gonna be a long rant, I swear I hate my life a lot, here is everything I dealt with in last few years.

In early 2024 I was sexually assaulted, I accept my mistake was that I used gr and i decided to meet a stranger, I didnt agree to sex or anything tho, and I made it clear before meeting and when we meet as well, but he just went on to violate me, I was so pathetic that my entire body froze, my brain went numb, I kept repeating him to stop, but I couldnt physically move an inch of my body, my legs and my hands went cold, my hands literally cramped and I genuinely cant describe how I felt, just when I started to move on from it, I get diagnosed with HIV, in all fairness I dont think the guy who abused me gave it to me, but also, I genuinely never had unprotected sex, I my self dont know how i got it. Offcourse I cant tell about my diagnosis to anyone, I have to keep it a secret, my parents would definitely disown me, all this was going on in my 3rd year of college right before the placements started, I still tried my best to manage hospital visits and college stuff, in fact I had the highest cgpa in my branch, I also tried to upskill myself to get a job so I can be independent enough, but this year no good companies showed up to mh college, then I switched my focus and started preparing for GATE in late October of 2025 but right when I started that, my mom had a serious surgery so I took over her tutions and I used to cook food for us, I couldnt prepare for GATE as well as I wanted to, I didnt get a good enough rank to get into any good college, I just graduated last month, I dont have a job nor do I have a college in hand for masters. My family life is also not peaceful, I have no friends, and thanks to my diagnosis my romantic life is non existent. In my quest to survive I think I forgot how to live, I dont have any hobbies, nor do I watch shows or movies much, I dont remember what true happiness feels like, this constant void is just killing me away, I tried reaching out, i tried whatever i can, but I dont know whats the point of anything anymore, everyone time I try and be a bit optimistic life shows me a new low that I never thought I could reach. I genuinely am just exhausted, just EXHAUSTED.

Hey there, I am a computer science engineering student, feeling a bit lonely.

I am into arts and animation, coding, I like to travel and I am huge potterhead.

I am a bit introverted but I like being old school romantic, I cant dance but would love to with someone, I wanna dedicate cute love songs for someone, I wanna watch heartstopper with someone, I just wanna be loved.

Feels like a distant dream tbh, I would be more than happy to make friends. Just caring and real friends. Who won't ghost me.

I genuinely dont know is it even possible? and me being diagnosed with HIV and being in India doesn't help, i tried using Hinge, wrote a thoughtful bio, tried my best to ask questions and have an engaging conversations, but the constant pattern i see is, people just put in the bare minimum efforts, just send dry replies and not actually care about what I have to say, and I dont think this should be basis of any relationship, and the sad part is, I only keep meeting guys like this, again and again, and the few i do connect, just ghost me down the line. I am just so exhausted of this, everytime I get a like/match, I get someone hope, and i think this time things are gonna be better, but they never do get better. I feel extremely hurt because of all this at times.

I genuinely dont know is it even possible? and me being diagnosed with HIV doesn't help, i tried using Hinge, wrote a thoughtful bio, tried my best to ask questions and have an engaging conversations, but the constant pattern i see is, people just put in the bare minimum efforts, just send dry replies and not actually care about what I have to say, and I dont think this should be basis of any relationship, and the sad part is, I only keep meeting guys like this, again and again, and the few i do connect, just ghost me down the line. I am just so exhausted of this, everytime I get a like/match, I get someone hope, and i think this time things are gonna be better, but they never do get better. I feel extremely hurt because of all this at times.

Hey there, I am a hiv poz guy from hyderabad, been feeling extremely lonley and isolated, just looking for some genuine companionship. I just graduated, in computer science engineering, currently unemployed, I am into drawing and coding, not good at either tho. I love late night texts, I love having conversations, feel free to hmu.

How do I stop my thoughts? My negative thoughts dont seem to go away, they linger, they stay. I keep trying my best to distract myself but I still just lose my control and they take over me, my brain goes numb, my body goes numb, cant think of anything else and physically cant do anything else because my body gets frozen, I need to study and get into a good college for masters at least, to maybe improve my life, but my thoughts just wont leave me alone.