u/Beneficial-Feed-8378

Hey there, I genuinely would love to have a boyfriend, someone i can call mine, someone who i can feel free with and just love and feel loved.

Life has been too overwhelming to say the least and i just want some company and some love man.

I do like to take things slow, I am just lonely af at the moment, I feel like I have no optimism or hope left.

Every time I talk to someone, they give me hope and just leave.

Everything in life is just extremely exhausting rn, state of the community is India is scary at times, the blatant homopbia, judgement about HIV, even the community is not kind at times, few of the worst things I ever heard were said to me by other members of the community, what's the point of all this pain? Will things ever get any better? I genuinely dont know, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Hey there, I am sincerely wondering how do i love myself enough that I start feeling better about myself? I am diagnosed with HIV, I am from India, I am not smart nor rich nor handsome, I am not desirable in any conventional sense, nor do anyone around me show any interest in me in any sense, life has been rough, and while trying to survive I genuinely forgot how to be a human, I have no hobbies nor interests, I am just existing, just a npc in my own life. Idk what to do.

21M just so exhausted of life, feeling extremely lonely.

Hey there, I am 22M from India, I am also HIV poz, life has been exhausting to say the least, I just graduated last year, finished computer science engineering, currently looking for job.

Somewhere down the line, while trying survive I forgot how to live, I genuinely dont have any friends, nor do I know how to be engaging much, I am a pretty boring person so that doesnt help, life killed all my hobbies.

I used to draw 4 years ago, I am into watching anime, reading, coding and stuff, but not very much.

I am a good listener or so I am told, anyone can feel free to text me and tell me how they really are doing.

My dms are open for all.

I am diagnosed with HIV, no one in my family knows, I graduated in computer science engineering last month, and I dont know what to do with my life, I cant hide meds and manage my hospital visits if I stay home, I got a 5 lpa offer but my father didnt agree with me to take it, he insist that I write GATE next year, ideally I would have done that, but managing everything at home along side GATE preps is inducing too much anxiety in me, all i feel is tensed and scared. I genuinely did my best in college, I had the highest cgpa, ranked first in coding contest in my college, but that was pretty much it, i am good in that bubble, but when i started applying off-campus now, i realised how hard it is.

I have no idea what to do anymore, i am just extremely stressed.

I am 22M from Hyderabad, I am hiv poz, been feeling extremely lonely and isolated irl, I have met a few good folks online, but usually i get ghosted, just trying to make friends and potential dates, i am huge Harry Potter fan, I used draw and stuff, i just graduated from college trying to get a job now. Would appreciate good company, feel free to text me

I lack the guts as well, i genuinely wish i never existed, I would be better dead fertiliser than a human

Even songs, movies, anime, anything works.

I am done with life.

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This is gonna be a long rant, I swear I hate my life a lot, here is everything I dealt with in last few years.

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In early 2024 I was sexually assaulted, I accept my mistake was that I used gr and i decided to meet a stranger, I didnt agree to sex or anything tho, and I made it clear before meeting and when we meet as well, but he just went on to violate me, I was so pathetic that my entire body froze, my brain went numb, I kept repeating him to stop, but I couldnt physically move an inch of my body, my legs and my hands went cold, my hands literally cramped and I genuinely cant describe how I felt, just when I started to move on from it, I get diagnosed with HIV, in all fairness I dont think the guy who abused me gave it to me, but also, I genuinely never had unprotected sex, I my self dont know how i got it. Offcourse I cant tell about my diagnosis to anyone, I have to keep it a secret, my parents would definitely disown me, all this was going on in my 3rd year of college right before the placements started, I still tried my best to manage hospital visits and college stuff, in fact I had the highest cgpa in my branch, I also tried to upskill myself to get a job so I can be independent enough, but this year no good companies showed up to my college, then I switched my focus and started preparing for GATE in late October of 2025 but right when I started that, my mom had a serious surgery so I took over her tutions and I used to cook food for us, I couldnt prepare for GATE as well as I wanted to, I didnt get a good enough rank to get into any good college, I just graduated last month, I dont have a job nor do I have a college in hand for masters. My family life is also not peaceful, I have no friends, and thanks to my diagnosis my romantic life is non existent. In my quest to survive I think I forgot how to live, I dont have any hobbies, nor do I watch shows or movies much, I dont remember what true happiness feels like, this constant void is just killing me away, I tried reaching out, i tried whatever i can, but I dont know whats the point of anything anymore, everyone time I try and be a bit optimistic life shows me a new low that I never thought I could reach. I genuinely am just exhausted, just EXHAUSTED.

And irony is, me being gay in a country like ours is primary reason for it.