r/LesbianActually

I've questioned my sexuality on and off for years. Looking back, I can remember multiple girls throughout my life that I thought were really cute or felt drawn to, including a friend I dated briefly in middle school. As I've become more open to the possibility that I like women, more and more memories have started making sense.

In my relationships with men, something always felt off. I often preferred talking over kissing, struggled to feel physically attracted to them, and felt more relieved than heartbroken when those relationships ended. I can barely describe a type in men, but I have a very clear type in women.

The more I've accepted that I might be a lesbian, the happier and more excited I feel about the idea of dating women. Watching women in romantic relationships feels natural to me, and imagining a future with a woman feels much more exciting than imagining one with a man. At the same time, part of me still worries, "What if I'm wrong?" and I wonder if anyone else struggled to fully accept they were a lesbian, even after it seemed to make sense.

When I was 15 I got involved with an older girl who had a lot of internalised homophobia. She could do whatever she wanted to me, but if I tried to initiate anything (even just kissing her first) she’d say it was “too gay.” During sex she told me I moaned “like a whore” and that it was “too much.” It really stuck with me.

Now I’m with my girlfriend and whenever we have sex I unconsciously cover my mouth or try to stay quiet. I’m not performing or faking anything, I’m just really sensitive and naturally vocal. I moan, whimper, and sometimes say stuff without meaning to. My girlfriend has told me multiple times that she loves hearing me and wants me to let go, but I can’t get that old voice out of my head telling me it’s embarrassing and “whorish.”

It’s genuinely affecting how much I can enjoy sex.

Advice? :(

Do you really need confirm or to know that you are a lesbian by sleep with men?. Because I saw this argument in tiktok about this because some people says that if you not experience sleep with men you just isolate your experience. To be honest I don't get their point at all . I just want to hear your opinion this one.
Edit I want to share this argument here because there is a bisexual woman who is being lesphobic and making a podcast about it. I am really pissed off that they are trying to harm lesbians with this argument. Also, sorry for my broken English, as it is not my first language.

The craving I have for this woman is unreal. We have been dating for a year now and istg every single day I want her more. It feels like the love spells from the romantic movies were put on me.
My first relationship ever so everything I know about myself in a relationship was bcos of her.

I COULD EAT HER THE WHOLE DAY EVERYDAY. 24/7, EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK AND EVERY WEEK OF THE MONTH AND EVERY MONTH OF THE YEAR.

Holy shit. I’m sorry if I’m coming off a little too obsessive. BUT! Her taste, her sounds, her body language. I just can’t keep myself in check.

This post is about me fully obsessed with my woman. Thank you.

This is my first post here, so I apologize if I overlooked something, but hello, I am Emilia!

I recently discovered I'm a lesbian and that my "attraction" to men was something entirely else.

I didn't actually start dating until I was 27.

But I've struggled with my appearance (pics on profile) since I was young, feeling like I inherited too much from my dad. I feel my facial features are defined or strong but I always wanted to be femme.

I tried to learn makeup but with my features, I felt like the more makeup I wore, the worse I looked. But I still love make up and I love feminine styled clothes, especially dresses.

But it makes me wonder how well I could present as masc sometimes?

And I'd like to know how to be more femme presenting to!

I want to find myself and to explore and I finally feel I'm in the mental space to do so but I wanted some opinions from the community to help me!

I’m curious what everyone’s preference is when it comes to paying on dates.

Do you prefer:

•	One person pays the entire bill?

•	Splitting the bill 50/50?

•	Each person pays for what they ordered?

Does it matter if it’s a first date versus a long-term relationship? Has your preference changed over time?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 6 years now. we live together, go on trips, and live a nice relaxing life. we both live 500 miles away from our families so we are somewhat living in a bubble in a queer friendly town. our friends obviously know. when we first started dating they told their mom about me and came out that way. I thought it was admirable and I felt good about it.

Fast forward to 6 years, we’ve never spoken to their mom about our relationship or shared really anything. Them coming out was the only conversation they had about me.

During family parties their mom will introduce me as their friend and my partner doesn’t correct them. I know they’re fearful but I’m honestly so exhausted.

I’ve been getting really emotionally exhausted with being put back in the closet to be quite honest.

Most recently, we had a family trip to their motherland and their mom was introducing their brothers girlfriend as that and then introduce me by name. It honestly hurts. I’m 27 now and I can’t keep doing this. How do they expect us to get married or have kids and they can’t even tell their extended family about us? I really love them obviously but I don’t know if the love is worth the pain. I always leave their family functions feeling sad or crying.

Does anyone have any advice?