r/LesbianActually

Throwaway account because my friends follow me on my main account.

I’m a teacher. I started a new job in mid-August. There is a girl at this new job who I know from high school. We’ve been talking relatively frequently, and I think I’ve developed a crush on her. It’s kind of weird though, I don’t feel butterflies or stuff like that like I thought I would, I just feel safe around her & being in her presence makes me feel happier no matter what we’re talking about.

I know she has attraction to women, I think she’s bi but she hasn’t outwardly labeled it. However, I don’t know if she has feelings for me like I do for her. There has been no flirting that I know of. I’ve wanted to drop subtle hints, I’m afraid of weirding her out.

I’ve been holding these feelings in for a while now. Most times I’m content to live with this secret & hope she makes a move at some point. However, I don’t think she will do that, and there are times where my feelings are so intense I just want to come right out & make a move (I have no clue what that even would look like but I want to).

What can I do? I have a feeling that if I do nothing I’ll stay in this loop until either I leave or she leaves (and I doubt that happens for either of us- this district is phenomenal & we’ve talked a couple times about how much we love it here), but I also don’t want to make things awkward by making a failed move. We interact fairly regularly on a professional level, and I don’t want to make that weird.

I have no idea how to approach this issue, but I think I am looking to have a conversation with my partner concerning her “letting herself go”. We just moved in together and it’s been great, despite the fact that she has been unemployed for over a month and all she has rly done is sit on the couch and watch tv or sleep. She has gained about 35 lbs over the course of our relationship(about 2 years). She doesn’t like to partake in activities like hiking or biking, which at the beginning of our relationship we/she were doing all the time. I’ve asked her if she’d like to come to the gym with me and she says no because she “doesn’t like it”. She’s brought up feeling insecure about not being attractive anymore, and Ive gently reframed the conversation to revolve around wanting to make sure she just feels happy and healthy and we are still able to do the things we love (skiing, hiking, biking, etc). No dice. Lately, all of her day planning / all she wants to do revolves around food and her next meal which I feel awful to feel resentful about, but I do. I have started to grow a bit of an ick, and I think she senses it. I think she also feels a bit down on herself. I just want to find a way to support her to get her back to herself but it seems she lacks the commitment or discipline to do so. Sexually, I’ve lost a bit of interest and now I feel kind of unsatisfied.

TLDR; watching my girlfriend let herself go and need help in how to intervene while remaining sensitive to the situation, before our relationship crumbles.

EDIT: a lot of ppl are drawing conclusions which is fair, but I think a piece I missed from the OP is that I am now starting to feel very down and her behavior is affecting me poorly because I feel I am the only one (80% of the time) who initiates any plans or tasks outside of just eating and drinking (seems like the only things she’s cares to do now). I have to initiate asking her to do chores or little tasks or I have to do them myself because she hasn’t been. I am always the one asking to go on a stroll around the block, or to go to a new spot in town. I feel like her lack of ambition or hobbies or interest is really bringing me down. And this is all in addition to the attraction issues I’m facing (which is both on a physical and lifestyle level). I will bring up depression, and see if that resonates with her. However, she seems super content with the life she is living, which makes this situation worse. If she was depressed I could at least help her and we could get through it. This seems different, it seems like she is choosing this lifestyle.

I had my first kiss! My girlfriend came over and we played card game and watched a few movies while cuddling!! The card game was one where you answer questions and the very last one asked what you desire most right now. She was giggling and refused to tell me what she wanted before finally saying a kiss. We kissed n it wasn’t too crazy akward but def was a little tense and later we kissed bye! I love her so much and she wa cuddling me and was grabbing my waist and at one point had her hand on my thigh!

Like when I text someone, nine times out of ten they're dry or shy or just can't read the room. What is that about, I'm genuinely curious.

I'm an Iraqi 19 y/o girl and I'm in a ldr with a russian girl and i love her sm, but the problem is that my mom is very suspicious of my relationship with her. they know that I'm talking to her because they heard me speak in english with her on the phone once and have been asking too many questions about her ever since.

for example my dad once asked me if I've ever sent her any pics in a "you better have not" way and I, of course, lied and said that I've never. my mom keeps making it clear that she's suspicious of her, and it happened on many instances but today she was scolding me abt isolating myself in my room all the time "especially because I'm showing signs of depression" and she said "you're up in your room all day talking to a foreign girl that is planting god knows what ideas in your head! we don't know her religion, her beliefs, personality, SEXUALITY" and she put sm focus on sexuality that it gave me chills..

i could tell she's itching to go through my phone and while deleting all my conversations with my gf would be the obvious solution, i want to take more drastic measures to protect myself and stop their suspension..any ideas?