r/Agoraphobia

I am rarely able to leave the house and it's been like this since 2019. I can't even go into my back yard comfortably. If I do somehow manage to leave my house, I have to sit in the passenger seat of the car,my mom in the driver's seat,and I can't exit the car.

But recently, I got up the courage to actually go into the gas station for a minute or so, and I felt pretty proud of myself even though I was overwhelmed the entire time and didn't know how to act and move normally in front of people,if that makes sense?... But now my mom seems to jump to the idea that I'm "all cured" now and keeps getting frustrated when I panic over leaving the house still.

Every time I make a tiny bit of progress, everyone in my life assumes I'm all good now and acts shocked and angry that I'm still not,it's so demotivating.

Who here has anxiety 24/7 other than agoraphobia.

I feel like I'm the only one

When you know money or begging the universe won’t change anything

My agoraphobia is not panic related it’s related to a very specific type of ocd which I won’t mention because I don’t want it to trigger anyone

But I just can’t go on any longer

I have lost my job I worked so hard for

My marriage is ending because I have not been able to maintain the stable family life I was always able to - my husband can’t cope that I’m a shell of the person I was. He has turned further to drink and cocaine

I can’t even go out and do any ‘normal’ things like go to the shops, meet friends for a coffee, go to a softplay with my son

My husband took him to see his grandparents today, he ended up leaving him there and went out drinking, I’ve had to sit at home all day just waiting for him to come home

I hate being this pathetic person. This has taken everything from me.

My family are tired of it. Can’t understand how I can’t just get back to who I was. I spent 5 weeks inpatient last year.

This week I walked off in the night, found a field to sit in and cried for hours looking at the stars and being bitter at the universe

I’m 23 years old, and I’ve basically lived my entire life as if I were in quarantine. The only day I’m really expected to go out is Sunday, because my parents are very religious, and it’s not something I can really refuse. For them, faith is unquestionable, and I don’t have much say in the matter. I know that if I refused, they would get extremely angry and give me a whole lecture about how I’m going down the wrong path, so I’d rather avoid all the drama.

The thing is, I don’t have any friends. In fact, I never really had any. I’m a very solitary girl with almost no social contact. I finished high school and university last year (last one online), so I did not really had to interact with people. Even now, I haven’t been able to find a job, and honestly, I don’t really want to work in person either. Social interaction makes me uncomfortable, and I feel like I would be much more comfortable working remotely, where I feel like I can protect myself better.

I literally spend 24/7 at home. So when COVID happened, it barely affected me because my lifestyle was already basically the same. Even if someone invited me to go out, I don’t think I would enjoy it that much. I’ve become so accustomed to staying home that going out feels “unnecessary” to me. If I need to buy something, I just order it for delivery.

My parents are controlling and toxic, and they are very religious. When they argue with you or try to defend their behavior, they sometimes even use religion to manipulate you. I avoid talking to them as much as possible, especially my father, because he is the more controlling and toxic one. His presence also brings back a lot of bad memories from my childhood because he used physical violence as a form of punishment. Neither of my parents was ever particularly affectionate or emotionally close to me.

I never lacked food or education, but I never felt emotionally supported either. I always had to figure things out emotionally on my own.

They are the kind of parents who don’t want you to have a boyfriend or become completely independent until you have financial stability of your own — basically, a house and a job. And I feel like I’m nowhere near being able to afford a house or having enough money to move out. I save as much as I can even though I don’t currently have a job, and whatever money I do have, I manage carefully. But I constantly feel like, in their eyes, nothing I have will ever be enough for me to become independent.

And I don’t know what to do about it.

My life is extremely routine, and I feel like, deep down, they are comfortable knowing that at least I’m not someone who does drugs, goes partying, or has any kind of bad habits. I don’t have any addictions, and I think that makes them feel safe. They also seem to have this need to keep me at home.

But mentally, I’m getting tired.

I can’t have an honest conversation with them. They’re the kind of parents who never really opened up enough to say “I love you.” They never said it to me. They would say they showed their love through food and providing for me, but as a child, I always felt like I couldn’t trust them.

I have a lot of resentment toward my father because of all the emotional damage he caused me. I haven’t really spoken to him since I was about 10 years old, even though we have lived in the same house all these years. I only answer him when he asks me something, and even then, I’m very short and distant.

I try to talk to my mother a little more, but not much, because I know she was complicit in what happened. She knew about the physical violence my father inflicted on me and my sister too and still didn’t do anything about it. Sometimes she was physically abusive too, although to a lesser extent.

Maybe they are the reason I became the person I am today: extremely withdrawn, isolated, and unsure how to live an adult life.

Deep down, I know I want to be free. I want to spread my wings, and I long for that with all my heart. That’s why the only solution I can think of is leaving home, because I don’t believe talking to them is going to fix anything.

I know this because I have an older sister who is seven years older than me. When she tried to leave home, they made her life extremely difficult. For example, they hid her ID and other things she needed to travel, even though she was already 25 years old at the time. The only way she was eventually able to leave was by getting married. My parents are still internally very angry about it because it was something they couldn’t control, and they constantly tell me that I shouldn’t follow in my sister’s footsteps because she “doesn’t know what she’s doing” and is living a lower quality of life financially.

That’s why I know that if I want to leave, I would either have to get married or have enough money to buy a house. But the economic situation in my country makes that feel almost impossible.

I feel trapped.

And as I said, the only solution I can see is escaping from home and going to live with my long-distance boyfriend, whom I would finally meet in person for the first time.

He lives in Florida, USA, and I live in Argentina. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for three years. He knows everything about my situation, but he lives with his mother (my future mother-in-law, although she has never met me in person and doesn’t even like me because she thinks I’m using him to get a visa or money, which isn’t true).

He also has a life somewhat similar to mine. Sometimes he feels overwhelmed by the idea of finally spreading his own wings because he has to deal with the challenge of becoming independent for the first time. He works, but he doesn’t have many friends, and he still lives with his mother and brother. Having the courage to move to Argentina and live with me is something completely new for him too. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it could take a lot of courage and time.

So if I were to leave home, I would probably need help from someone I’ve known indirectly for about ten years. He’s from my city, although he also works and lives elsewhere now, and we don’t talk very often. However, he knows about my situation, and he has told me that if I ever decide to leave, he would help me get somewhere where I could finally be with my boyfriend and start living in another city with him.

I have enough savings to support myself for roughly two years. The only thing I’m really missing is a job.

Part of me would prefer to start completely from scratch. I’ve always said that once I leave this house, it would feel like being born again. Obviously, starting from zero and facing adult life on my own would be difficult, but I also know that I’m willing to take that risk if it means having my freedom.

I feel like my life is passing me by while I live it according to my parents’ wishes. Their desire is for me to take care of them when they get old, but that’s not something I feel in my heart. Maybe if they had been more emotionally present, given me love, and raised me without all the trauma, I might feel differently. But I don’t want to dedicate my life to taking care of them.

I really need some opinions and perspectives on this.

I feel like I wrote way too much, but I wanted to give as much context as possible.

Thank you for reading. I’d really appreciate hearing what you think.

Ive had agoraphobia since I was 14 and its waxed and wained through my life. Im now housebound and on disability. Is anyone else?

I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I've reached a point where I physically cannot be social or go out unless I've had alcohol.

For context, I'm diagnosed with panic disorder and agoraphobia. I've been using alcohol since I was 19 to cope with being social and being able to leave the house. Before that, I used marijuana for pretty much the same reason.

At this point, it doesn't even feel like a choice anymore. It's a matter of whether I'm physically able to go out or not. When I'm sober, the anxiety and panic can get so overwhelming that I just can't do it. After a couple drinks, I can suddenly function and do things that I otherwise feel completely incapable of doing.

I know where this can lead, and that's honestly what scares me. I don't want alcohol to become the only way I'm able to live my life. But I also don't know what I'm supposed to do when nothing else seems to work.

And yes, I've tried meds. I've tried countless SSRIs, SNRIs, ADHD meds, and even fast acting panic meds like lorazepam. I've switched doctors multiple times and even went to the hospital about this. I've talked to my current doctor about the fact that alcohol is the only thing that seems to let me function socially, and he's kind of at a loss too.

Nothing has worked for me in the same way that a couple shots do.

I'm not posting this because I want people to tell me that drinking is a good solution. I know it isn't. I just want to know if anyone else has experienced this. Not just being uncomfortable socially, but feeling like you genuinely cannot function socially while sober.

If you've been in this situation, what actually helped you?

Hi all i have been struggling with agoraphobia/ dpdr for a year and 3 months. I have been going out more after being housebound for 1 year. Tonight I went to Olive Garden and the movies, IT WAS SO HARD, I had an insane panic attack at olive garden and was about to leave but i pushed through and it went fine :)

I have a chronic illness and I have really bad agrophobia because of how random and severe my symptoms can present, but I really am tired of being inside and I also really need to try and get out more so I can make it to appointments I need, since not all are zoom.

I tried going to the movies yesterday and I took a lap around the mall before hand, but I started getting overheated and sweaty. I thought eating lunch would help so I ate at the food court but I just felt so sweaty then I got kinda nauseous. I pushed through and got in the actual theatre, but I was still nauseous and a bit dizzy and I didn’t pull through, so I panicked and called my mom.

Of course though once my mom came, I felt better and probably could have stayed for the movie. So I’m sure this was an anxiety response.

I’m willing to do anything to try and get passed this and just want to ask how you guys get passed this, my main fear is passing out or puking in front of people in public or my symptoms presenting in a dramatic way.

anyone else have embarrassing stories from exposure therapy? I try so hard not to embarrass myself when panic comes on but sometimes its impossible to hide