r/Agoraphobia

Dm me for the link

Am I the only one who is Sooo over summer? I have gotten good at going out and walking, but simce it has been summer I feel like it is too hot, too sunny, too bright for too long, and its crowded everywhere... it's uncomfortable.

I can't wait for fall so it can be colder, I can wear more layers and hide in a jacket, for it to get darker faster and everyone to go home so I can enjoy my walks and outside.

Does anyone else has this struggle with the weather and seasons?

for the first time in a few months i went back to the hair dressers which i dread going each time and have to take medication to get through it and still feel like i want to run away

my hair dresser is lovely and knows about my anxiety and always asks if im okay during the appointment and reassures me and books me in when it’s quiet but today it was quite busy with two other people have there hair done and one of the other clients was very outspoken and confident and really honestly just bitching out loud the whole time which made me so uncomfortable and on edge , i had to leave with my hair wet as i felt i could not sit through the blow dry and feel very embarrassed, im glad i made it through most of my appointment but i just wish i could be normal and have of finished it

I’m just curious how old most people here are. From the posts I’ve seen, it seems like most people are older, so I was wondering if there are younger people here dealing with agoraphobia too

I feel like this experience can be really different in your late teens/early 20s compared to being older. Many people my age aren’t even working yet and are still living with their parents so the circumstances can be pretty different. I also think when you’re younger, there’s a lot more expectation to be out working, socializing, etc. compared to when you’re older.

why

This won't be a long one, I just wanted to tell as many people as possible: Today I went on a bus with my partner to a nearby town! It's the first time I've properly, fully left the town we live in and gone to a totally different place in a year and a half!

The village we went to was very cute and pretty, we wandered around a bit and I bought a little memento to remind me of how brave I can be. I'm still kind of stunned, I don't think I've processed it yet.

Anyway, this was a very normal day to a lot of people, but I know that everyone on this sub will understand how massive it was for me.

^(I also want to publicly admit that for the couple of minutes that the bus was on the motorway- highway, for Americans- I had my eyes squeezed shut the whole time and refused to open them.)

Check in for us agoraphobes. How’s everyone doing today? What is your anxiety level at 1-10? What are you currently scared of?

I’m 24 years old and I developed agoraphobia in late 2020 after my embarrassing moment.

I was hanging out with this “friend” who I kept thinking was cool and because I never had real friends throughout elementary and high school, i latched on to that friendship even tho my kindness was being taken as a weakness and i was being manipulated, I wasn’t seeing this at the time.

I don’t know why but because this “friend” looked cool and tough I wanted to feel like that as well. I was changing the old me to become someone who i wasn’t.

So one evening I walk downstairs in the lobby and 3 of my high school classmates are sitting there and I tried to act tough for NO REASON in their faces. My behaviour was absolutely horrible.

From that moment on I told myself that I can’t go outside anymore due to the extreme embarrassment. The guilt and regret that I carry for doing that pains me like you wouldn’t believe till this very moment. I’m sure we’ve all said things that we aren’t proud of and behaviours we wish we could take back but for some reason this moment put the whole universe on my shoulders, 6 years later and it still haunts me severely

I'm a 30M living on my parents' ranch where I've lived my entire life. I've been struggling to leave home after multiple failed attempts, and I could really use some advice. Let me explain the circumstances.

My parents are isolationists. We live on a ranch where we don't go anywhere (except my dad going to get groceries or get mail; the only exception to this is doctor appointments, which are rare). I've lived with them my entire life, helping them on the ranch since I could walk.

I do all of the really physically demanding work. I have a lot of responsibilities, so not all of my work is physical work, but a lot of it is. My dad has back issues and some other minor health issues, so leaving my work to him after I leave is causing me to feel guilt about leaving, which is one of the contributing factors for why I keep failing to leave. He'll have a lot more work to do once I'm gone, and I'd feel guilty if he hurt himself because of it. I know he's going to guilt-trip me about it over the phone after I'm gone; he already has, to some extent.

My parents have never helped me to get normal adult things. I don't have freedoms or things that a normal adult should have. I don't have a real job, I don't have a car, or even a driver's license. I would stay here if I was actually allowed to live like an adult, but I'm just not. I want to go where I want. I don't want to be afraid of the world. I want to have a car, a real job, real-life friends, go to restaurants or hiking trails, and have a girlfriend. I'm 30 years old and I've never been with anyone. I didn't sign up to be a lifelong incel for my parents. I'm so desperate for a romantic relationship that it's all I ever think about.

I've asked my parents for a driver's license a few times before. I want them to teach me how to drive. The answer always goes something like, "Sure, we'll practice every other weekend this next summer when there's more time," or "Let's wait until we get you a new pair of glasses." They just procrastinate on it indefinitely until it's forgotten, and I don't bother asking anymore because I know they'll just procrastinate again.

They don't want me to leave because they know how much harder the work will be without me, and they don't want to hire a stranger to come work for them. They've also tried to warn me and scare me in regards to how hard my life will be once I leave the safety of the ranch. To be honest, that has had a negative effect on me when it comes to motivating myself to leave. Both of my parents have each had traumatizing experiences.

I don't want to make my parents sound like horrible people. They're not. I was raised with love and care. I always had everything I needed, and no one ever hurt me. But I can't go on living this life forever. There's no future for me here, and it's taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that nothing is ever going to change and that leaving is my only option.

Now to be clear, there is nothing physically stopping me from leaving. I can technically just walk out of here anytime I want to. But emotionally, it's not that simple. I've tried to leave around five times in the last seven years, and every time I got cold feet and changed my mind. The first four times I tried to leave without telling my parents because I didn't want to deal with the drama and emotional guilt-tripping that would cause. I ended up chickening out each time due to guilt and fear, and because of the seismic change that it would cause in my life and in my parents' lives.

After the fourth attempt failed, I decided that the issue was probably that I was leaving unannounced without telling my parents. So, I decided to come clean to them and just outright tell them that I want to leave. That way they could be involved in the process and I could avoid all guilt around it. But I made the mistake of telling them that I also wanted to go to college, and the long process of applying for college and FAFSA allowed them to procrastinate indefinitely again. I went along with it thinking that I wouldn't feel any guilt by the time it was all over since they were involved in the process. The procrastination lasted another three years and ended up falling through in the end for various reasons. So, I told my parents to forget about college and told them that I was just going to leave—college or no college.

I went through that whole three-year ordeal, and all of their guilt-tripping speeches that went along with it, and it all fell apart in April earlier this year. I was planning to leave by the end of the month; I had two online video interviews for jobs, and I nailed both of them. I found a nice apartment within walking distance of both jobs, but the application process got messed up because I don't have proof of income. My parents pay me in cash, so I don't have months of bank statements or check stubs to prove that I earn money. This is an issue for most apartment applications.

Now to be fair, I probably could have fought this harder and offered to pay a few months in advance or tried to find a landlord who doesn't require proof of income. But I got cold feet and abandoned the effort after having a conversation with my dad the night before, when he was telling me about all the problems and dangers I'm going to be facing.

I don't know what to do anymore. I want to know how I can get ahold of my nerves and my guilt so that I can actually leave home and have a life of my own away from my parents. Any advice that someone can offer would be appreciated.

should I or nah

20m. I feel like when I was younger, I spent a lot of time in fight-or-flight, but in a weird way, it was also good for me because I was constantly forced to meet people, be around them, interact with them, develop social skills, etc.

Now that I'm an adult, though, I'm out of school, I'm not working because of my anxiety, and I don't hang out with friends that often. I feel like my social anxiety is starting to get worse because I'm not getting that constant exposure anymore.

I don't really know what to do. I keep pushing myself to hang out with friends, but I don't really have money to go out. I'm only not homeless because I still live with my parents. I'm meeting some friends today, but I'm so incredibly anxious about it. It's insane. I genuinely don't know how to overcome this. Everything feels so difficult.

I need to make an appointment to get my eyes checked and update my prescription, get new glasses because these ones are scratched, find a job, make money, get back into school, get my driver's license... and I feel like I'm going to get killed just by leaving the house or something. The fear is that strong.

I miss being a teenager, man. It sucked being scared all the time, but at least I had constant interactions with people. I was around others every day, so my social skills were at least being maintained somewhat. Now I feel like I'm slowly losing that, and I don't know how to stop it. I'm becoming one of those awkward mute people that never talk and have trouble speaking. I sometimes physically cant get myself to get words out, so I just stand there awkwardly smiling. I hate my life man, social anxiety truly has just ruined my life.

Does diet soda such as Diet Coke or other caffeinated beverages help or worsen this condition ?

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some encouragement and success stories from anyone who has used Prozac for severe anxiety, agoraphobia, and panic attacks.
My main trigger is leaving the house, sitting still, or being anywhere without immediate access to a bathroom—the physical symptoms hit me so hard. I deal with intense gut issues/diarrhea, racing thoughts, shaking, and a fast heart rate. I also use lorazepam as needed when I have to leave the house.
If Prozac helped quiet this for you, how long did it take to kick in, and what did your relief look like? Hearing some positive experiences would really mean a lot right now.

ugh i hate being alone

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some encouragement and success stories from anyone who has used Prozac for severe anxiety, agoraphobia, and panic attacks.
My main trigger is leaving the house, sitting still, or being anywhere without immediate access to a bathroom—the physical symptoms hit me so hard. I deal with intense gut issues/diarrhea, racing thoughts, shaking, and a fast heart rate. I also use lorazepam as needed when I have to leave the house.
If Prozac helped quiet this for you, how long did it take to kick in, and what did your relief look like? Hearing some positive experiences would really mean a lot right now.

Hi everyone,

Sorry, I dont post much, so i am poor with reddit formatting.

I am 31M uk

Since 16 I have always been afraid of leaving the house unless im certain there is a toilet nearby. I always get the sensation that I need to urinate. I could have gone to the loo 5040404 times, but if I feel trapped, I immediately feel the urge/sensation for it again.

As a teenager, I was told to gave Calms(?). As an adult, I believe (as do doctors) it is anxiety, and am on 150mg sertraline. CBT slightly helped periodically

My issue is that I am 31 now, I have suffered with this my whole life and dont feel like a person or human. I literally feel pointless.

I have a wife (god knows how) and a couple of friends, but I dont go and do stuff. I probably am social once or twice a month at max, and when I am, I mostly have a horrible time not knowing where the loo is.

Examples: travelling on a train for work: if I am on the train, I begin to feel the urge and i start blowing my nose as a comfort thing. If im in a carriage where a loo is, if someone goes in to the loo I get stressed that I need it.

Similar situations for work, I get it when I am in meeting rooms.

Same for car/bus journeys

I dont know what to expect here, or if im making sense. I just know that i am a hindrance to my wife and friends and I am becoming less and less social because of it.

Not sure how much more suffering I can cope with. Sorry for the random vent. I found this subreddit today and thought i would share.

Finally built up the courage today to get a new doc appointment

Thanks...

T

I have a strong fear of needing to urinate or pass stool when I’m somewhere I can’t easily access a bathroom, such as a lecture, exam, seminar, or bus. I worry that I’ll get an urgent or painful pressure and won’t be allowed or able to leave, so I often use the bathroom beforehand and avoid certain situations.

Plesae help me....My life becomes hell sometimes

I’ve been struggling with agoraphobia for 3 years now, 2 of which I’ve been doing exposure therapy however without much progress. I wanted to ask if someone else is experiencing this thing in particular but whenever I try to leave the city I just can’t…it feels like a force is keeping me here. The panic and all the sensations get very intense and it literally feels like I’m about to lose my mind and everything feels extremely dangerous. The interesting thing is I can go to big stores, malls, dentist appointment, ride public transportation, drive (all those things thanks to the help of exposure therapy) but whenever I pass my 15km safe zone I cannot even imagine it in my mind how it will happen. Is this something common in agoraphobia?

I've had agoraphobia for about five years, and for most of that time my idea of recovery was basically:

“I want to feel less anxious.”

I wanted to be able to leave the house without feeling like shit. I wanted the physical symptoms to stop. I wanted to stop thinking about escaping, going home, or whether I could tolerate being somewhere.

Looking back, almost everything still revolved around the agoraphobia itself.

A few months ago, my mental health team suggested that I spend several months in a therapeutic community.

I hated the idea. Absolutely hated it.

I refused it, and I still don't want that kind of treatment. But the fact that they even suggested something that intensive hit me really hard.

For about two weeks I couldn't stop thinking:

“If they think my situation has reached the point where they're recommending this, then something in my life really does need to change.”

I didn't suddenly agree with their solution. But I started agreeing that I couldn't just keep living exactly the same way.

Around that time I was attending a weekly therapeutic group for young people.

And here's the funny part: I complained about that group constantly. I thought one hour a week was way too little, I didn't like many of the topics, and plenty of times I just wanted to leave as soon as it ended.

But in hindsight, that group helped me a lot.

It gave me a place where I could openly say what I was thinking and feeling in front of other people, hear other perspectives, and start putting things into words instead of just endlessly thinking about them alone.

I think that's when I started walking in a different direction, even if I didn't realize it yet.

Then, recently, I spent six days in a rural house with friends.

Last year I had tried something similar and left on the third day because the anxiety became too much.

This year I stayed for all six days.

It wasn't perfect at all. I had one really bad day where I wanted to go home, started isolating myself in my room, felt trapped and overwhelmed, and had the same old thoughts telling me to escape.

But I stayed.

And overall I had an amazing time.

I spent hours talking to my friends in person, stayed up late having conversations about life and relationships, went out to eat, laughed, spent time around people and just… lived.

And when I got home, something became very obvious.

I didn't feel relieved that it was over.

I wanted more.

I wanted to see my friends again. I wanted to go out more. I started looking at joining a gym. I'm genuinely looking forward to a friend's birthday party in September. I'm thinking about working, earning my own money, meeting new people, dating, falling in love someday and experiencing things I've barely had the opportunity to experience during these years.

That's when I realized my main goal had changed somewhere along the way.

It wasn't:

“I want my agoraphobia to go away.”

It had become:

“I want to live my fucking life.”

Or maybe more accurately:

“I want my life to be bigger than my screen.”

I still love gaming, Discord and my online friends. That part of my life is real and important to me, and I don't want to get rid of it.

I just don't want it to be my whole world anymore.

The rural house didn't create this change out of nowhere. Looking back, I think the therapeutic community proposal shook something loose, the group helped me start walking, and those six days with my friends made me start running.

I'm still agoraphobic. I still expect the usual thoughts to show up before that birthday party:

“Why are you going?”
“You don't belong there.”
“Stay home.”

But now there's another thought that wasn't nearly as strong before:

“Yeah, but I want to go.”

And that has changed everything.

Before, it felt like I was exposing myself to anxiety simply because I was supposed to fight agoraphobia.

Now I'm more willing to face anxiety because there are actual things on the other side that I want to experience.

I'm also waiting to start an intensive day hospital program soon, and it's kind of insane to me that I'm actually impatient for them to call me. A few months ago, intensive treatment mostly sounded like something that would take my life away from me.

Now I want to use it to build more of a life.

What fucks with my head the most is realizing that it took me around five years to understand something so basic:

I want to live.

I'm not saying that in a depressing or suicidal way. Quite the opposite.

I'm angry that I spent so long with my world so small, because now I suddenly want to know how much shit is out there that I haven't even discovered I like yet.

I'm posting this because I'd really like to know if anyone else with agoraphobia has experienced this shift.

Did recovery ever stop being mainly about getting rid of anxiety and start becoming about wanting something outside badly enough that the anxiety stopped being the main character?

I think that’s the word for it but it’s so hard to make progress because I deal with extreme dpdr. Everything is so weird looking and it almost feels like being high/disconnected. The symptoms and intensity can change and it’s soo scary and it feels like “proof” that I’m losing my mind or something’s wrong. Any advice for dealing with this sensation? It’s horrible for me