u/EntrepreneurTop1007

TL;DR:

20M, stuck in years of severe anxiety and avoidance. Never really launched into life (no job, license, dropped out of college, multiple gap years). I understand my issues on some level and have improved a bit, but I still can’t consistently act or change my situation. I feel like I’m falling further behind in life while being mentally aware of what I should do, and I don’t know how to break out of this cycle or accept that life involves constant discomfort and suffering.

(20M) I feel very stuck. I have felt very stuck for years, and I just cannot understand why I'm like this and why I can't just "do it."

I've been watching Dr. K since 2020. I've meditated on and off since then, and recently I've started doing it more consistently.

I almost failed high school. I was depressed and anxious the whole time and have VERY VERY strong avoidant tendencies. Horrible social anxiety to the point where I can't even take a walk in my own neighborhood sometimes, and when someone knocks on the front door, I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack.

I've never had a job. Never got my driver's license. I feel alone a lot. My room's a mess all the time.

I went to college and failed, then took a gap year, and now I'm on gap year number 2 trying to get into university. I actually have a chance to, but I just can't get myself to work and get it done, so I might be going onto gap year number 3. At that point it'll have been 4 years since high school, and my friends will have all graduated and gotten jobs.

I just don't know what's left for me, man.

I started cleaning my room last week, and I'm happy about it, but nothing ever seems to change with me. I'm more self-aware and compassionate with myself these days, which has helped, and I've made A LOT of progress with my social anxiety considering where I used to be. But I'm really just the same motherfucker I was in high school.

I remember always struggling in school. Teachers were always calling my mom about something growing up. Then in 8th grade I got a really shit grade, and my heart sank. From then on, for the rest of the year, I was the TOP student. 90s, 100s on some tests even. I conquered some of my social anxiety too.

Then COVID hit.

Still, when 9th grade started, I guess I still had some momentum going. I did well, got my 80s and a few 90s. It was great. I also made some friends.

Then from there it's been genuine downhill, and it seems like I'm still going downhill. And that was what... 6-ish years ago? Going on 7?

I don't get what happened to me, and I don't get why I'm still like this.

I almost feel like I just don't give a shit about anything. Like genuinely, I just don't care, because that's what my actions show, that I really don't care, and that me doing this whole "woe is me, I'm a piece of shit" thing is just an act to escape responsibility.

But then again, me understanding that on some level doesn't change anything. I'm still me.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore, man.

I'm letting myself down. I'm letting my family down. I don't know if there's hope for me.

And even that, I understand, is fucking stupid because I'm not the arbiter of truth. Who am I to say what's possible and what's not? I understand that.

But like... c'mon, man.

It seems like every step I take is just another stumble into another failure.

I don't know why I went on a tangent. You don't have to read all that if you don't want to.

This seems to be the crux of the issue.

I don't want to feel discomfort and pain and suffering. I don't want to wake up feeling like shit because I got bad sleep and still have to fight.

I don't want to feel that.

And I don't want to accept that that's what life is.

I've looked everywhere and cant find the full video, I'm assuming maybe its an exclusive thing for the members or whoever bought the guide but I'm not sure.

Also, if yall have any other videos that are accessible and are on the same topic that would be wonderful. Thanks in advance !

Made some new friends, and I'm supposed to meet them for the first time next week. The problem is that I'm panicking and have no idea what to do.

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In my head, it all comes down to this. I've ruined a lot of friendships because I've been a flake, and I don't want to make that mistake again. I think I just need to show up and face myself. I've been working on this stuff slowly, and it feels like I've made barely any progress over the last few years. Still, progress is progress.

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The point is that it feels like the person I become depends on the decision I make here. Whether I go or whether I bail. God has already handed me so many opportunities. These friends came completely out of nowhere. They practically spawned into my life and somehow seem like exactly the kind of people I've been hoping to find so if i fuck this up itd time to just pack it up n quit.

So basically, about 10-11 months ago I hurt my back while helping my dad fix the interlock outside our house. For 2 days straight I was lifting heavy piles of bricks back and forth using purely my back and absolutely zero technique.

At one point I got this shocking/zapping pain that shot down my right leg. It wasn't HORRIBLE, but it definitely wasn't normal either.

The weird thing is I could still function. After that I helped a friend move some heavy boxes, and a few months later I helped my brother move a bunch of fertilizer and dirt bags. I could get the work done, but I'd usually be out of commission for the next day or two, limping around the house and spending most of my time in bed.

I ignored it for a while and eventually got checked out. My doctor said it sounded like a disc bulge with sciatica and sent me for an MRI.

The MRI came back showing no structural damage.

My doctor basically told me to strengthen my core and I'd probably be okay.

Honestly, that relief just made me procrastinate even harder. I didn't do any real rehab for months. Looking back, I was a fucking idiot. I was naïve, didn't really understand what was happening, and figured that if the MRI showed no damage then it couldn't be that urgent.

Despite that, the overall trend of my symptoms has actually been improvement.

Back when I first got injured, it took almost nothing to piss my back off. I'd bend a little, flare it up, and then spend days limping around. Now I can bend more, lift more, and even when I do irritate it, I usually bounce back a lot faster than I used to.

Fast forward to last week.

I finally went to physio.

The physio listened to my symptoms and basically told me straight up that it's 100% a disc bulge. He said the MRI doesn't prove much because it's just a snapshot in time, and that when I got scanned the bulge may have shifted back enough that it didn't show up.

At that moment my life basically flashed before my eyes.

I had literally turned 20 the day before that appointment.

For months I'd been telling myself, "Okay, MRI was clear, I just need to get stronger and I'll be fine." Then suddenly I'm being told it's definitely a disc bulge and that I've basically ignored it for almost a year.

Now, from my own research (which admittedly is me googling stuff at 2 a.m., so take it with a grain of salt), I'm not sure the physio can say that with that much certainty.

My understanding is that MRIs are generally pretty good at finding disc bulges. If mine showed nothing, then maybe I don't currently have one. Maybe I'm dealing with lingering effects of the injury, muscle tightness, movement compensations, weakness, or some combination of those things. I genuinely don't know.

Some extra context:

• I've had a slight limp on my right side for years now.
• My sitting posture is very odd. almost resembles scoliosis (i don't have scoliosis), I lean to one side and the top half of my body leans back to compensate, like a "S" shape
• My posture is absolutely horrendous.
• I live a very sedentary life-style. pretty much from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to bed im sitting at my desk hunched over and its been like this for many years.
• The physio said the entire right side of my body is significantly tighter than the left.
• All of my sciatic-type symptoms have been on the right side.
• Overall I've improved quite a bit since the original injury, even though I'm definitely no where near 100%.

So I guess my question is:

How much weight should I be giving the MRI versus the physio's assessment? Can a disc bulge really be missed like that, or is it more likely that something else is going on at this point?

I'd appreciate any insight because right now I honestly don't know what to believe.

so idk if yall feel the same but I’ve been interested in Carl Jung for a few years now. I got a little introduction to him in my high school psych class and I really mesh with the way he thinks. I find his work super interesting.

Recently while trying to figure out how to tackle some of my own issues, I started looking into anima and animus because I thought maybe there was something there for me. I tend to gravitate toward more abstract and spiritual takes on things.

Then like a week later the Doc announces on stream that he’s gonna do an anima and animus lecture. I was so hyped man honestly. It was super great, I took some notes and journaled a little while watching, and im very much considering becoming a member JUST so I can watch that part 2 lecture when it comes out.

let me know what yalls thoughts were

I’ve been putting effort into making new friends lately and it’s actually been going well. Everyone in the group chat seems to enjoy having me around and generally likes my energy.

The thing I’m unsure about is that I come off as very innocent and non-threatening to the girls in the group. That’s been bothering me a bit because I’m not sure it’s how I want to be perceived. I don’t really want to be seen as a “cute puppy” type guy, I want to come across as a man.

I’m not sure if that’s actually a problem though. Is it a bad thing if women see you as a wholesome, cute kind of guy? Friend-wise it’s fine as long as there’s respect, but something about it still feels off to me.

I feel like i struggle to differentiate between a joke and an insult, and sometimes il swing into being pissed and angry(although i struggle to show it) and other times il swing into taking everything as a joke and not knowing I've actually been disrespected. How can anyone tell the difference??? Its really jarring cuz I don't understand when and how i should stand up for myself and how id even know whether i should or not.

I think this often results in people walking all over me because im basically the "sensitive guy whos also overly chill about LITERALLY EVERYTHING"

When georgie got mandy pregnant, the whole church turned on her and then mary bravely decides to attend church after being turned on and fired and pastor jeff is giving a sermon on loving each other and gods love??? what a cunt. and then on top of that bro had the audacity to go talk to mary afterwards and say "the church is ur family" shake my head.

Fuck those people, absolute dickheads bro. n fuck pastor jeff.

I realize this is aggressive especially since its a tv show, but it really got on my nerves.

Something I’ve been wanting to do for years, but I never got to 30 days, not even close. I mostly just do it whenever I feel like it.

Two things I’m worried about:

• I’m already hyper self-aware, and I don’t want more of that, I want less of it. I want to be able to do things without constantly being in my head, and I’m afraid meditating would just make me even more self-aware and even less able to connect with people as I progress “spiritually.” I already have a hard time connecting with people because while they’re thinking “I want new Nike shoes” or “I wanna hit the club,” I’m thinking about existential stuff. And honestly, I want what they have sometimes, the simplicity, being able to just have a desire and fulfill it without overthinking everything. (I do have an ego around being “deeper” and more reflective than others though, so maybe if I work on THAT specifically, I’ll be okay.)
• I have a lot of ambitions, and I’m a very energetic guy (at least when I’m not anxious and trapped in my head). There’s so much I want to do. I want to fulfill my potential, and I don’t want to lose that drive. I don’t want to become so content and detached that I stop caring about improving or achieving things. I don’t want to lose my ego, I just want to be in control of it. I want to be able to activate and use emotions to push myself in life. I don’t want to just be content, I want to get shit done, and honestly, I do want to be better than people. I just don’t want to be hijacked by my emotions anymore because right now I’m badly anxious and constantly bogged down by them. I just don’t know if “rest and digest” is really the direction I need to go in. Part of me feels like I need to ramp my energy UP, not calm it down, so that’s one of my concerns with meditation.

With that being said though, I feel like my ego already has such a strong hold on me that meditating probably wouldn’t erase it, it would more likely just lower it to a healthier level, which I’m honestly looking forward to. I’m so socially anxious it’s ridiculous, and I’m also EXTREMELY avoidant. Like, if past lives exist, then this life feels solely dedicated to teaching me about avoidance. I genuinely almost feel convinced of that sometimes.

Anyways, do y’all have any thoughts, feelings, or advice for me?

Also, what meditation should I do? I was thinking about doing the ajna chakra one where you focus on the tingly sensation in the middle of your eyebrows when you hover your finger over it, but maybe that’s not actually what I need. I’m not really sure what I need, so I’d really appreciate some guidance.

Thanks in advance!

Something I’ve been wanting to do since I first found Dr. K in 2020–2021, but I never got to 30 days, not even close. I mostly just do it whenever I feel like it.

Two things I’m worried about:

• I’m already hyper self-aware, and I don’t want more of that, I want less of it. I want to be able to do things without constantly being in my head, and I’m afraid meditating would just make me even more self-aware and even less able to connect with people as I progress “spiritually.” I already have a hard time connecting with people because while they’re thinking “I want new Nike shoes” or “I wanna hit the club,” I’m thinking about existential stuff. And honestly, I want what they have sometimes, the simplicity, being able to just have a desire and fulfill it without overthinking everything. (I do have an ego around being “deeper” and more reflective than others though, so maybe if I work on THAT specifically, I’ll be okay.)
• I have a lot of ambitions, and I’m a very energetic guy (at least when I’m not anxious and trapped in my head). There’s so much I want to do. I want to fulfill my potential, and I don’t want to lose that drive. I don’t want to become so content and detached that I stop caring about improving or achieving things. I don’t want to lose my ego, I just want to be in control of it. I want to be able to activate and use emotions to push myself in life. I don’t want to just be content, I want to get shit done, and honestly, I do want to be better than people. I just don’t want to be hijacked by my emotions anymore because right now I’m badly anxious and constantly bogged down by them. I just don’t know if “rest and digest” is really the direction I need to go in. Part of me feels like I need to ramp my energy UP, not calm it down, so that’s one of my concerns with meditation.

With that being said though, I feel like my ego already has such a strong hold on me that meditating probably wouldn’t erase it, it would more likely just lower it to a healthier level, which I’m honestly looking forward to. I’m so socially anxious it’s ridiculous, and I’m also EXTREMELY avoidant. Like, if past lives exist, then this life feels solely dedicated to teaching me about avoidance. I genuinely almost feel convinced of that sometimes.

Anyways, do y’all have any thoughts, feelings, or advice for me?

Also, what meditation should I do? I was thinking about doing the ajna chakra one where you focus on the tingly sensation in the middle of your eyebrows when you hover your finger over it, but maybe that’s not actually what I need. I’m not really sure what I need, so I’d really appreciate some guidance.

Thanks in advance!

(20m) I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I used to have really close friends that I’d talk to basically all day, every day, but over time, because of drama and life stuff, we drifted apart and I ended up being pretty isolated for a long while.

Very recently, like within the last month or two, I’ve been trying to put myself out there more socially, and it’s actually sort of working? I’m not sure if these people are “my people” yet since everything is still really fresh, but we get along and I do have fun talking to them.

The problem is I can’t stop comparing it to the friendships I had years ago. I keep thinking things like “damn, this feels empty compared to that” or “these people feel like strangers.” "this isn't where I should be" It almost feels wrong in a weird way. I feel like no new friends I make would ever live up to those old friendships in any way.

That’s kind of the roadblock I’m hitting right now. I don’t want to run away or isolate myself again if there’s a real chance for connection here, but it’s hard to shake the feeling.

If anyone understands this feeling or has gotten past it before, I’d really appreciate hearing your perspective.

(20m) I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I used to have really close friends that I’d talk to basically all day, every day, but over time, because of drama and life stuff, we drifted apart and I ended up being pretty isolated for a long while.

Very recently, like within the last month or two, I’ve been trying to put myself out there more socially, and it’s actually sort of working? I’m not sure if these people are “my people” yet since everything is still really fresh, but we get along and I do have fun talking to them.

The problem is I can’t stop comparing it to the friendships I had years ago. I keep thinking things like “damn, this feels empty compared to that” or “these people feel like strangers.” "this isn't where I should be" It almost feels wrong in a weird way. I feel like no new friends I make would ever live up to those old friendships in any way.

That’s kind of the roadblock I’m hitting right now. I don’t want to run away or isolate myself again if there’s a real chance for connection here, but it’s hard to shake the feeling.

If anyone understands this feeling or has gotten past it before, I’d really appreciate hearing your perspective.

I'm tryna lose weight but also gain a bunch of muscle as well, I'm not sure if there's a sub out there that does both, but you can recommend them separately as well, I just prefer listening to 1 sub at a time.

(20m) Been trying to get some more exposure in. I go on walks to super busy places in my city and try not to shit myself, I go play sports and what not, and there’s a clear difference between day 1 and now (been about 3 weeks to a month but i haven't really been counting). But the issue I’m running into is how goddamn nonlinear it is.

The first few days of doing the exposure I felt like shit. I didn’t walk as far, I was way more anxious. Then it got better, I got better at regulating myself, and after being on a generational roll with it I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt great.

But then I just wake up one morning and for the next week or so I’m anxious again like it’s day 1. It’s so fucking discouraging man. One day I can go shoot some hoops, go walk around the city, enjoy the weather, and then I wake up and it’s like all of that is just taken from me and I’m back where I started.

Ok so i wanna buy a handheld to mod and mess with, id take it with me wherever I travel and use it instead of my phone for when I wanna play games. So what's better, should i get a DS or a Ps Vita?

(20m) I think one of the things that really feeds the loop of social anxiety that I’m really starting to notice now that I’m trying to put myself out there again and talk to people, is that I HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. Mfs are going on and on about “I went here, I did this, this is the story of my ex-girlfriend, here’s my other ex who was toxic, here’s an interaction I had with my buddy,” and they want me to contribute and yap with them, but it’s like BRO... WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? I don’t have any life experiences that I could share. I don’t have exes, I don’t have random stupid funny moments with my friends, I don’t DO anything, I just rot at home. its discouraging as fuck because its like what do i tell these mfs??? that i have anxiety and stay at home most of the day? what does that accomplish? they think im boring and don't wanna be around me but start being all nice out of pity as if im some injured kitten?

if any of yall have dealt with this and have a way to get around it, PLEASE SHARE. i'm getting sick of this.

stupid ass paradox man. You need friends to have experiences and you need experiences to make friends. HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE MY LIFE! 🙂😭