r/AvPD

Like 90% of people have been atleast in 1 relationship by age of 25, like they all just possess the skill to make someone fall for them, i cant understand this. I havent had a conversation irl that lasts more than 2 minutes in 6+ years. They say something and my brain isnt just fast enough to come with a response, so i end up saying something boring like "haha cool", every single time. While other people can just call their friends and partners and keep conversation going for hours everyday.

The gap to get from my situation to actually making someone like me romantically, just seems so massive its overwhelming.

today was my first day actually taking calls. i messed up like crazy. from the very first call i messed up so bad the guy made fun of me. and then the others were just as bad. all because i'm so fucking stupid. i got nervous and forgot everything i learnt. i probably sounded like a bitch too. that was only 2 hours out of the day. i don't want to have this bitch ass job. it's so fucking hard. they will probably let me go anyway.

I just went outside to get the mail and I heard my next door neighbors laughing hysterically and just assumed that it was towards me. I understand that it's irrational. I've never spoken to them, and I don't think I looked particularly stupid or anything, so I have no reason to believe they were laughing at me, but I just cant shake the feeling that they were. Ive talked about this with my sibling and they said it sounds narcissistic to believe that everyone is focused on you. I don't think it's narcissism but it might be something related to that? Idk Hopefully you guys understand. Again, I know that it doesn't make any sense for someone to laugh hysterically at someone that they've never met just getting the mail, but in my head that's what they were doing.

I am too shy to text people I know, so imagine how that goes for complete strangers. I like following people I have shared interests with, sometimes even telling myself that ill dm them once they follow back, but it never goes further than that.

I keep thinking that if I did talk to anyone (and not ghost them somehow) they'd just get bored of me eventually, of learn something they might not like. Meanwhile If i dont I get to have them as potential-friends forever with no risk of it ever souring. Its very stupid.

I have irl friends so i dont feel THAT lonely but I dont feel any closeness to them

Haven't had any friends since I was 13, chopped, autistic, don't play video games or have much hobbies so feel super out of touch with people my age, is there even a point anymore, everyone seems to be doing better than me lmao I'm the ultimate loser

I genuinely think I will never be able to have friends, I have so much distrust towards everyone and I just hate actually interacting with people, I can't believe this will never just magically go away, I have to live the rest of my life like this

So I got my diagnosis earlier this year but the guy who assessed me was only a temporary psychiatrist. He recommended I'd try DBT, preferably in their residential mental hospital so I did, and now not even after a week of being there, they're very likely to kick me out because I'm having a hard time attending breakfast and lunch (dinner is not required).

I've been doing my best to attend the regular therapy sessions but the mealtimes are way more difficult for me because you have to sit there a whole 30 mins trying to be as invisible as possible, while being surrounded by people talking and eating and I just hate it. I feel like everyone can see how socially handicapped and weird I am just looking down at my nails for half an hour, also while not eating so that might come across like I'm starving myself for attention or something or like I have an eating disorder, while actually I'm just too uncomfortable and I wouldn't wanna make a mess or something. Mealtime in group is just one of those things I'd rather not deal with. (I realize how dumb my reasoning is while I'm typing this out lmao)

Their policy being, missing a groupsession 3 times in a row = automatic dismissal, is putting my stay here at risk. On one hand I wouldn't be opposed to leaving this place and never looking back, but I know that I'll just go right back to my old lifestyle and be a bum, fail to finish my schoolyear over and over again due to me not attending my classes after some time, and it's just hell. Why is my avoidance this bad to the point I'm missing out on treatment for it? Or is this just not the right treatment for people with avpd/avoidance traits? If this stops then I'd have no clue what other options there are that specifically tackle avpd.. I've been to so many places and people and seemingly no one even knows how to help me

I have these two friends that I accidentally ghosted--it's been a month now. I didn't reply to them because I was at the lowest point of my life, but now that I feel a little bit okay, I'm terrified of replying to them. one of them even messaged me yesterday, but I didn't reply or see their texts. I'm so afraid of texting back, but I'm also afraid of losing them.

why am I like this? why do I do this? what am I scared of?

i have never worked or been employed before, but i'm in a situation where i need reliable income working somewhere sustainable for me. i got prescribed lexapro which has somewhat helped with my anxiety and depression, but i'm introverted too so i'm mortified by how draining this will probably be. i'm a small woman so i couldn't do something too strenuous. i thought of working in customer service, but the thought of confrontation is horrifying. i like doing things efficiently without problems. i get overwhelmed from fast-paced environments, but it could help distract me. i thrive off of routine and consistency, something repetitive but not too difficult. i'm trying not to be so selective with no experience, but does anyone have recommendations?