u/Benaami_Insaan

I couldn't bear being called "boring". Because of that, I constantly changed my behavior and acted in ways that I thought would make people see me as interesting. Over time, this turned into masking. I became so focused on avoiding negative judgments that I lost touch with who I really was and eventually became severely depressed. I even started calling myself boring before anyone else could, hoping it would hurt less if I said it first.

As a teenager, I once sent someone some cat videos that I found cute. They called them stupid, and after that I couldn't enjoy or even watch those videos for the next 2-3 years. It wasn't until someone else later described them as cute that I was finally able to see them positively again.

Something similar happened with photos. Someone looked at one of my pictures and said, "what is this? 😨😱" and boom, I couldn't see the pic again for next 3-4 years until someone called it beautiful. Another person called my pic weird while giving constructive criticism. Even though the comments weren't necessarily malicious, I became traumatized!

A friend once told me, "you got 1 year older!" on my birthday. At the time, I was in my early 20s, and the comment deeply aggravated my body dysmorphia and fear of aging. Instead of feeling celebrated, I felt hurt and angry because it struck me as a negative thing to say especially on my birthday. What I really wanted to hear were positive and uplifting messages, something like, "you're still so young, and you have so much ahead of you" rather than a reminder of getting older.

If someone gave me a side-eye, rolled their eyes at me, or showed little sympathy or empathy for what I was doing, it used to just crush me into pieces. I believed that everyone had a responsibility to be mindful of one another's feelings, ​especially mine because even the smallest gestures of dismissal or indifference could break my heart.

Looking back, I realize that I was extremely sensitive to negative feedback. Even tiny criticisms and dismissive comments could completely change how I saw something I liked. It took immense amount of therapy to rectify this behavior. Many have told me that the problem didn't even exist but it was rather my overly sensitive self which created the problem.

AITAH for being so overly sensitive?

I went through undiagnosed mental health struggles along with prolonged trauma, which made me extremely anxious and fearful. I am neurodivergent and always had low self-esteem due to feeling odd one out and not understanding social cues. Because of that, I was never able to stand up for myself and instead bottled up everything I felt. This connects a lot to what people call "good girl syndrome" – always staying quiet, avoiding conflict, and prioritizing others over yourself, even when you’re hurting.

After years (almost 3-4) I finally tried to confront the person who had emotionally and psychologically bullied me. I know it sounds embarrassing that it took me so long, but a part of me stayed connected to them just so I could eventually express everything I had been holding in, which created more trauma (I was young and naive). However, the more I tried to explain myself, often through long paragraphs, the more misunderstandings seemed to happen – indeed adding up to the existing list of confrontations to be done. By that time, the situation itself felt "expired", which made it even harder to communicate my feelings clearly.

Instead of being heard, I was met with criticism and hostility. They mocked me for confronting them so late and acted as if they were superior for being able to stand up for themselves earlier. They humiliated and called me naive, weak, ​meek, unsmart and what not. Accused me of liking to take burden​ hence I take, they don't like hence they confront on spot without seeing if they're coming across as rude or not. Even though I tried multiple times to explain my feelings, they showed no willingness to listen or offer even a little understanding. Rather than allowing me closure, they dismissed me, told me to move on, and suggested that holding onto it would only hold me back.

Eventually, they blocked me without giving me a real chance to fully express myself. Now, even after more than 3 years (6-7 years in total) since everything began – I find that the situation has only worsened internally. I keep ruminating about it, replaying conversations, and even imagining confrontations with them when I’m alone. My bf is concerned for me for the sake of my life.

A part of me still wants to confront them, but I also know that if I do, I’ll likely face more ridicule and dismissal. I fear they’ll accuse me of exaggerating or making things up, which only adds to the frustration and emotional weight I’m already carrying. I genuinely want to sue them but I know it's nearly impossible as 99% of the conversation is just in my head and I have no proof of it.

I lost years to bullying. AITAH for it...?

I couldn't bear being called "boring". Because of that, I constantly changed my behavior and acted in ways that I thought would make people see me as interesting. Over time, this turned into masking. I became so focused on avoiding negative judgments that I lost touch with who I really was and eventually became severely depressed. I even started calling myself boring before anyone else could, hoping it would hurt less if I said it first.

As a teenager, I once sent someone some cat videos that I found cute. They called them stupid, and after that I couldn't enjoy or even watch those videos for the next 2-3 years. It wasn't until someone else later described them as cute that I was finally able to see them positively again.

Something similar happened with photos. Someone looked at one of my pictures and said, "what is this? 😨😱" and boom, I couldn't see the pic again for next 3-4 years until someone called it beautiful. Another person called my pic weird while giving constructive criticism. Even though the comments weren't necessarily malicious, I became traumatized!

A friend once told me, "you got 1 year older!" on my birthday. At the time, I was in my early 20s, and the comment deeply aggravated my body dysmorphia and fear of aging. Instead of feeling celebrated, I felt hurt and angry because it struck me as a negative thing to say especially on my birthday. What I really wanted to hear were positive and uplifting messages, something like, "you're still so young, and you have so much ahead of you" rather than a reminder of getting older.

Looking back, I realize that I was extremely sensitive to negative feedback. Even tiny criticisms and dismissive comments could completely change how I saw something I liked. It took immense amount of therapy to rectify this behavior. Many have told me that the problem didn't even exist but it was rather my overly sensitive self which created the problem. :(

AITAH for being so overly sensitive?

Am I right in thinking that when two people are extremely close friends, they're supposed to share almost everything with each other – deep vulnerabilities, insecurities, quirks, personal history (including everything that happened before they became friends, so it feels as though they've known each other from the very beginning), and other private aspects of their lives? I also feel that close friends should keep each other updated about their day-to-day lives and regularly share what's going on with them.

I did get this type of connection from my partner, but I also wanted a platonic same gender friend on this. Is it too idealistic or realistic?