u/Feeling-Seaweed1640

On some real shit, just existing is fucking boring and frustrating on a miniscule level as well. Just having to fucking eat and wipe your fucking ass is annoying. Having pimples and having to watch what you eat or you'll look and feel like shit.

Having to keep up an appearance and dress clean and orderly. Having to cook and do dishes. Having to fucking mow the lawn and having to pull weeds. Having to talk to people and act like I truly gaf about what they are talking about.

Having to deal with this gay ass anxiety and depression. Having to deal with the cold of winter and the heat of summer, dealing with people judging me and the frustration of not being able to just bitch slap anyone who talks to me side ways. Having to go to school study stupid shit I don't gaf about to get money that I don't gaf about. Holy fucking shit, this entire existence is a fucking sham!

Power to the people who genuinely enjoy life I truly applaud you. But even on a spiritual level, once you figure out biblically and Hindu and buddist wise you are saved by faith and wisdom no physical works of the flesh, this life becomes extremely frustrating to continue to participate in! We all fucking die and get old and nasty, we all come me up in the same fucking predicament. It's all just running in fucking circles with this life trying not to be bored so you fill your life with different things to do and research and shit, but at the end of the day, this life is a fucking scam once you see thru it.

Fuck all this shit

On some real shit, just existing is fucking boring and frustrating on a miniscule level as well. Just having to fucking eat and wipe your fucking ass is annoying. Having pimples and having to watch what you eat or you'll look and feel like shit.

Having to keep up an appearance and dress clean and orderly. Having to cook and do dishes. Having to fucking mow the lawn and having to pull weeds. Having to talk to people and act like I truly gaf about what they are talking about.

Having to deal with this gay ass anxiety and depression. Having to deal with the cold of winter and the heat of summer, dealing with people judging me and the frustration of not being able to just bitch slap anyone who talks to me side ways. Having to go to school study stupid shit I don't gaf about to get money that I don't gaf about. Holy fucking shit, this entire existence is a fucking sham!

Power to the people who genuinely enjoy life I truly applaud you. But even on a spiritual level, once you figure out biblically and Hindu and buddist wise you are saved by faith and wisdom no physical works of the flesh, this life becomes extremely frustrating to continue to participate in! We all fucking die and get old and nasty, we all come me up in the same fucking predicament. It's all just running in fucking circles with this life trying not to be bored so you fill your life with different things to do and research and shit, but at the end of the day, this life is a fucking scam once you see thru it.

Fuck all this shit

This is something that is definitely very difficult, almost seemingly impossible for me to do. There are certain things my roommate does that I absolutely hate and I wanna call him out for it on the spot. It takes so much effort to simply tell him basic shit that needs to be and shouldn't even half to be said. IE washing your hands after using the bathroom, not leaving hairs in the sink after you shave, not leaving dirty mop water in the mop bucket. The list goes on and some times I just wanna bitch slap tf out of him because why are you being and inconsiderate dirt bag? The fuck!

Also like when my brother in law is joking around he likes to use the term "pussy" which I know can definitely apply to me, but that doesn't mean it don't piss me off and I wanna tell him do use that word around me but ironically it's because I'm that word I don't say anything. I just laugh like a fucking goof ball and act like everything is okay. It's beyond fucking frustrating learning how to speak up for yourself even when it's 110% nessesary! I'm a very fair person and my voice only needs to be spoken when absolutely nessesary, but unfortunately it barley or never is and I just suffer in silence.

The reality of the situation

What sucks asshole is at the very foundation of all of our problems we have to "just do it" or learn to accept a mundane life. It's a very unfortunate situation.....on one hand you have regret and contemplating fantasy that hasn't actually taken place in the physical world.

On the other hand you have vulnerability and experiences that can both positively and negatively effect you.

What I'm trying to do is rewire my belief system that I have absolutely nothing to lose, but everything to gain and view the gain as 10x better than the loss. It's a decently healthy coping mechanism for what is an unfortunate reality. The reality is I am a very soft, thin skinned individual that is afraid of being humiliated and judged for something that quiet literally is out of my control......I and we were born with maladaptive genetics and grew up in a harsh, cold reality ran by people with thicker skin and iron tough egos.....

We cannot compare ourselves with those types of people....the problem is we have the same desires they do. We want connection, we want status, we want power and sex and financial stability..... unfortunately we have to accept that in order to get a margin of what they achieve seemingly with ease, we gotta fight tooth and nail simply for scraps and to achieve what egoicly strong individuals have.....WE HAVE TO BE WILLIMG TO GO THRU LITERAL HELL.

Me personally I just wanna get to the point of where I can attract a gorgeous woman, enjoy little things and not beat myself up so much for not fitting in. Realistic goals for me keep me moving forward. Now at the end of the day, life is what you make of it. But in order for us to get the sweet things we must suffer the bitter reality and push forward.

What sucks asshole is at the very foundation of all of our problems we have to "just do it" or learn to accept a mundane life. It's a very unfortunate situation.....on one hand you have regret and contemplating fantasy that hasn't actually taken place in the physical world.

On the other hand you have vulnerability and experiences that can both positively and negatively effect you.

What I'm trying to do is rewire my belief system that I have absolutely nothing to lose, but everything to gain and view the gain as 10x better than the loss. It's a decently healthy coping mechanism for what is an unfortunate reality. The reality is I am a very soft, thin skinned individual that is afraid of being humiliated and judged for something that quiet literally is out of my control......I and we were born with maladaptive genetics and grew up in a harsh, cold reality ran by people with thicker skin and iron tough egos.....

We cannot compare ourselves with those types of people....the problem is we have the same desires they do. We want connection, we want status, we want power and sex and financial stability..... unfortunately we have to accept that in order to get a margin of what they achieve seemingly with ease, we gotta fight tooth and nail simply for scraps and to achieve what egoicly strong individuals have.....WE HAVE TO BE WILLIMG TO GO THRU LITERAL HELL.

Me personally I just wanna get to the point of where I can attract a gorgeous woman, enjoy little things and not beat myself up so much for not fitting in. Realistic goals for me keep me moving forward. Now at the end of the day, life is what you make of it. But in order for us to get the sweet things we must suffer the bitter reality and push forward.

Shame is what’s completely hindering us all.

It’s the facts that we have always avoided our fears and have taken the easy way out almost in everything we have ever done. This disorder will get worse and worse the more we hide from our problems. The scariest part is I’m to soft of a person to be out in this cold world. I feel completely stagnant.

I'm curious to hear everyones take when it comes to semen retention and using it to align with your highest self. It said to give you immense confidence, spiritual discipline and drive to be the best spiritual version of yourself? Do you believe there is anything to this practice? Or is it just a psyop cope for incels?

I don’t know how else to describe it, but it feels like everyone else received a "how to be a human" manual at birth that I completely missed out on.I spend so much energy rehearsing normal conversations in my head, only to completely freeze or fumble when it’s my turn to speak.

Then, I spend the next three days agonizing over a single sentence I said to a cashier or a coworker.It’s exhausting living in a constant state of performance review. You want so badly to connect with people, but the fear of being judged or misunderstood keeps you completely locked inside your own mind.

If you're reading this while lurking and overthinking whether you should comment, just know you’re not alone.Does anyone else get stuck in this exact loop? How do you break out of it?

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Serious question

Once the day starts you gotta deal with the awake world. Everyone running around all your responsibilities knocking at the door. Do any of you stay up late to avoid the responsibility of the day? I’m a night owl specifically because I hate the thought of going out into the world. I feel as tho at night I’m finally at peace n alone!

Serious question

Once the day starts you gotta deal with the awake world. Everyone running around all your responsibilities knocking at the door. Do any of you stay up late to avoid the responsibility of the day? I’m a night owl specifically because I hate the thought of going out into the world. I feel as tho at night I’m finally at peace n alone!

START MEDICATION

Guys, if you are raw dogging life, or you are abusing recreational drugs just to cope with life you are suffering way worse that you actually have to. If we really wanna change and we really wanna stop suffering, we must accept that our nervous system is completely damaged and Imbalanced. Psyche meds no matter what you believe are created for people who have unbalanced brain chemicals. We all have fucked up brains from Genetics, and trauma way worse than the average person. These meds will take a lot of the senseless suffering and weight we carry into everyday life.

We don't deserve the hand we were delt, and we all deserve help thru our healing journey. Meds take commitment and communication with you Dr tho. Not every meds will work, but that is why they have many different flavors for each of our unique flaws carried in our imbalances. It'll take time and effort, and you may even possibly get lucky and start off with the right medication. But in order for us to properly maneuver our healing journey, we need the assistance of a Dr and medication. Go to therapy as well! We gotta work with what we are given and I promise you guys, medication is a blessing in disguise, we gotta be willing to go thru the trials and errors of finding the proper meds, but when you do you will really thank yourself and see how much simpler our problems could have been! I really hope this message reaches those who have been stuck in limbo, START MEDICATION!

I'm sure this doesn't help, but my unhealthy coping mechanism is reading post on this subreddit and knowing I'm not the only one struggling with this life altering personality disorder. Sure reading these posts over and over again is probably mentally hardwiring myself to allow this to become deemed normal behavior, but the rough reality is, reading these posts gives me a weird dopamine hit and a sense of community......when in reality we would never in a million years interact with each other in person, let alone open up about our problems..... I don't know but knowing I'm not alone is both comforting and terrifying

Wanting to break free....

I can recognize the irrational focus that I have on events in the past that have traumatized me. All of those years in grade school, trying to fit in just to be the butt end of the jokes, all of the name calling and condescending treatment I've received.

All the times I tried to fit in and awkwardly stumbled just for other people to judge me and call me out in front of my crushes or in front of my friends. The feeling of locking up, my chest getting tight, lightheaded, shaking and not being able to say anything other than to smile.

These memories are still alive and well years later at the age of 27. Now It feels as though I am so incompetent and filled with fear that me being judged and bullied is almost 100% inevitable and Im avoiding facing it so much. But I want nothing more than the ability to enjoy life and be comfortable in my own skin, but all of these years of avoiding the cold hard truth that the only way to even somehow get closer to that reality, I must expose myself to the world that causes my trauma......

Thinking about everything and knowing that no matter how hard I think my way around things, nothing will truly change until I act in it makes me cringe so hard and sink even deeper into isolation. I want nothing more than to be able to have a social life and to be able to go on dates, but knowing I have to go outside and show the world how awkward and afraid I am just to try and overcome and push to what can only be called a "normal" way of life is so beyond difficult I can barley even make the first step.

Being so aware of everything and aware of how scary it actually is for people like me doesn't do anything positive just makes you live inside of your head even more. I'm a pent up mess always trying to think my way out of the harsh truth that I must take action in order to grow in anyway shape or form to a reality where I'm not a reclusive hermit. Good Lord, I feel so stuck it's not even funny.

I can recognize the irrational focus that I have on events in the past that have traumatized me. All of those years in grade school, trying to fit in just to be the butt end of the jokes, all of the name calling and condescending treatment I've received.

All the times I tried to fit in and awkwardly stumbled just for other people to judge me and call me out in front of my crushes or in front of my friends. The feeling of locking up, my chest getting tight, lightheaded, shaking and not being able to say anything other than to smile.

These memories are still alive and well years later at the age of 27. Now It feels as though I am so incompetent and filled with fear that me being judged and bullied is almost 100% inevitable and Im avoiding facing it so much. But I want nothing more than the ability to enjoy life and be comfortable in my own skin, but all of these years of avoiding the cold hard truth that the only way to even somehow get closer to that reality, I must expose myself to the world that causes my trauma......

Thinking about everything and knowing that no matter how hard I think my way around things, nothing will truly change until I act in it makes me cringe so hard and sink even deeper into isolation. I want nothing more than to be able to have a social life and to be able to go on dates, but knowing I have to go outside and show the world how awkward and afraid I am just to try and overcome and push to what can only be called a "normal" way of life is so beyond difficult I can barley even make the first step.

Being so aware of everything and aware of how scary it actually is for people like me doesn't do anything positive just makes you live inside of your head even more. I'm a pent up mess always trying to think my way out of the harsh truth that I must take action in order to grow in anyway shape or form to a reality where I'm not a reclusive hermit. Good Lord, I feel so stuck it's not even funny.

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Whenever it comes down to religion of what 'god' is like and how he created this world and also punished us simply for being curious Nobody comes to the real conclusion that the being is Sheer evil and insane.

Yahweh is the most sadistic, weird entity ever. He's obsessed with blood sacrifice and foreskins. He destroys his own people and other regions simply for asking and praying to other gods to water there crops and keep them protected. He brags about creating light and darkness, good and evil. He hardens the hearts of all of the Israelites enemies and throws that in their faces thru prophets.

Hes a homophobic, baby murdering God who depicts what can only be called a slave master. We are called slaves in the Bible. We have "free will" but will be smited to hell if we don't submit to God's plan and his ways....

Somehow some way, people have not came to this very rational non bias conclusion that this God clearly is fucked up in so many ways, yet they will tell you how great and unconditional his love is....it's fucking disturbing.

I've noticed whenever I go to church and sing the worship songs and such, my anxiety and depression lifts off of me Everytime. It's supernatural and it shows me that if you do bend a knee to that God he'll help you out, but only under the condition of submission......FUCK THAT.

Islam they follow the prophet Mohammed who was appointed by Allah. Mohammed has many wives, one of them being married to him at 6 years old and 9 they had sex......wtf. also he's a tyrant warlord that is said to kill all non believers. THANKS ALLAH❤️

All of these people will pray for friends who have cancer to be healed, just for them to pass away. Yet they continue to pray for people with cancer and as soon as 1/10 people survives that had cancer that they prayed for they start saying "GOD IS GOOD GOD IS GREAT" Completely ignorant to the millions of times God didn't bat an eye to their prayers. Then they defend God by saying "well it wasn't part of his plan, it was time for them to go back home with God"

We are fucking gas lit to the max by this POS false tyrant of a god, it's absolutely pathetic. We are said to be cursed for our ancestors sins and that's why the world is the way it is...HOW IS THAT ANY SATISFYING Answer FOR PEOPLE WHO WONDER WHY LIFE IS SO FUCKED? Strange fucking existence man feel like I'm losing my fucking mind surrounded by these Stockholm syndrome drones.

Hope that it will get better is a trap

Our attachment to the idea, that life here will get better, that one day we will all just kumbiyah and Love one another is a complete and utter trap.

There is no raising your vibrations and becoming some mystical healer or truth teller that is going to actually make a difference in this hell scape that we inhabit. I had an outer body experience of the pleroma and the suffering that is taking place on this planet during a psychedelic episode.

I remember leaving the planet and entering this place of pure White light and sheer love and compassion for the entire world and then a voice telling me "you must go back and dress the wounds of the sickly, darkness is swallowing them up" then boom I'm back into the world which is darkness.

The whole coming back here to be a light is a fucking trap in itself. These beings use our love and empathy and yearning for world peace against us! They convince us that we can save a dead planet!?

Like it or not this planet involves death, decay and suffering and will one day be swallowed up by the sun. No matter what takes place at this planet it will all be devoured by the sun! So why come back here to dying matter? There is truly no point to listen to anything outside of yourself when you leave this realm that tries to tell you to come back here because you are a "light worker" and "angel" a "teacher" all of those label are a trap to convince you this place has a chance when in reality it doesn't.

Do not feed the parasites with coming here to complete their mission. It's all an archonic trap!

It baffles me to this day how sensitive I am to the littlest things that other people would so easily shrug off. For example because this rarely occurs, but if I'm hanging around people and they are joking around and insulting each other my heart drops to my stomach in fear they will say something about me. If they end up saying something my entire day is ruined and I get all locked up and go into defense mode.

My body and mind take any comment and turn it inward against its self. My mind is constantly alert and talking shit about me. My life is lived completely uncomfortable inside of my own world. When in reality nothing is even happening. My life is fucked up because of this disorder

In astrology you have both a south Node and a North Node

In astrology, the South Node is a mathematical point in your birth chart representing your past-life karma, innate talents, and default comfort zone.

In astrology, the North Node represents your soul’s evolutionary path, karmic mission, and the specific lessons you are meant to learn in this lifetime

So basically I've been talking to chat GBT about astrology and it told me that from an astrology stand point if you do not achieve your soul mission in this life, you will be reincarnated and have to give this node another go.

I asked it from a gnosis point of view what happens? It said if you die in your south Node (never conquering fear in this life) aka demiurge and do not achieve gnosis (North Node aka Monad) you will die in ignorance and be stuck in the material world.

Now from my understanding, these bodies are completely limited and driven by a nervous system that relies on fear and survival. So our Devine spark is extremely limited. Leaving me to believe that astrology is just a gas light to make you more plugged into the matrix. What do you think about this astrology north and south Node life mission?

My north node I'm supposed to be some form of public speaker or business owner, but my biggest fear involves public speaking. If I die without conquering this fear, do you believe I'll be reincarnated?

Or is reincarnation solely based off a lack of gnosis?

We are Traumatized animals, if only we had good shepherds!

So this is just something I saw while working on my older sisters ranch. SHEEP ARE TERRIFIED of human beings because in the wild they are pretty much prey to almost any predator. It reminded me of myself, this world was such a horrifying place it made me skittish like a sheep.

One of my sisters sheep had lambs and the lamb ended up being disowned by the mother. So my sister took the lamb in and we all gave it so much love and care. Hand feeding him and making him feel safe at all times. When I tell you this lamb grew up and became one of the greatest pet animals I've ever experienced. He's so social and loving, comes running up to you whenever possible, so vocal and playful! It's absolutely precious.

I could have been like that lamb if I was abused and traumatized from such a young age and just given the proper care and love. But instead of me being like that lamb, I was raised around literal WOLFS. A lamb raised by wolves is going to be absolutely traumatized and skiddish to the point of misery.

Well here I am. Being jealous of a fucking sheep that was given the proper love and now has more confidence than me lol. All we need is the fucking Love and Freedom that damn lamb got and we'd be fun loving lil social butterflies!

IF NOT THIS LIFE THAN THE NEXT YOU GUYS! Love you all

Something I keep hearing about is how this new age of kids aren't how they used to be. Right winged individuals love to say how we are all weak and strange nowadays because of the cell phones, or how we are all socially inept because we don't have to socialize as much and because of this we all have social anxiety.bthey always say they wish they could go back in the day when people were face to face socializing. They act as though social anxiety is just now a common thing and it's specifically from technology.

But from what I'm able to see social anxiety has always been a thing. I have 2 uncles that have terrible social anxiety. I have a 63 year old neighbor who deals with it and have met countless individuals who struggle with social anxiety. I will admit nowadays there is way less stigma when it comes to social anxiety, especially because back in the day you'd get your ass whooped or yelled at if you said you have social anxiety and can't get a job. But that doesn't mean social anxiety is a new thing at all. This is a mental illness that has no roots in social media. It's trauma based not technology based. If you were bullied or ridiculed by society at a young age, you will most likely struggle with social anxiety.