Not the career, not the responsibilities — the inner world.
The thoughts, longings, regrets, or realizations that didn’t have space when life was all about providing, achieving, or keeping everything together.
What surfaced for you only now, in this stage of life, that you never had the time or permission to feel before?
First of all, get a will and handle your affairs, y'all. Making a mess that someone else has to clean up AFTER you die is peak selfish.
I am dealing with an estate that's a mess. Guns, drugs, etc left in the house that I'm going to have to clean out. What do I do with all this shit that is maybe legal, maybe not, like guns and drugs?
What is one of your go-to responses to "How are you?" when you don't want to say "good" but you don't want to be negative or too serious?
Like one I'll go to sometimes is "I'm very much alive, you?"
Let's hear 'em. What are some of your go-tos?
46M here. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m constantly running on low battery. Nothing dramatic, but I wake up tired even after decent sleep, work drains me faster than it used to, recovery from workouts takes longer, and mentally I just don’t feel as sharp some days.
It kind of sneaks up on you until feeling okay becomes your normal.
I’ve been looking into supplements, but the amount of conflicting advice online is ridiculous. Some guys swear by magnesium, creatine, fish oil, greens powders, etc. Others say the biggest difference came from finding one solid daily supplement routine instead of managing a shelf full of bottles.
I'm wondering what’s really worked for real men over 40. Not looking for hype or miracle cures. Just honest experiences from guys who noticed better energy, sleep, recovery, focus, or overall health. What’s worth taking consistently?
I am on the final season of Animal Kingdom - Netflix.
It's OK. Started strong but kinda got repetitive and boring toward the end.
Hey everyone! I’m a grounded gay guy and long-term New Yorker (here since '01) looking for a calm, safe place to land.
About me: I work in patient care and facilitate support groups at the LGBTQ Center. When I’m not working, I’m a singer-songwriter and holistic living enthusiast. I value a "reset" vibe at home—no smoking, no chaos, just good energy and respect. I’ve been in my current spot for 7 years, and my landlord calls me the "father of the building" because I’m so dependable.
The Logistics:
💰 Budget: $1,250- with wiggle room
📍 Neighborhoods: Anywhere with a solid commute to Downtown Manhattan.
🏠 Space: Open to a studio, 1BR, or a shared situation with a LARGE room.
🐾 Bonus: I love animals!
I’m moving because my current landlady (who is like family) is changing the lease structure of the building. I have excellent rental history and solid references. If you have a lead or a room that needs a respectful, soulful addition, please reach out!
Sending light and love,
Asé, asé
Switching careers in your 40s
Hey all. Anyone here switch careers in their 40s at all? I am in the accounting field as an assistant controller. I've been doing accounting for about 12-13 years now, but after a string of bad bosses and companies these past few years, I absolutely loathe waking up and heading to work.
I have several ideas about what I would rather do instead, like open an arcade in the town I live in. Perfect spot downtown with lots of foot traffic. Open a donut shop somewhere in town. Only thing is Dunkins or drive 30 minutes to a decent place. Or ideally, I'd like to work towards being an athletic director or coach in some sense. Love sports and the chance to get to teach the game excites me.
Just curious if anyone else has taken a different journey in the 2nd half of life and how it all happened. Thanks!
Anyone else hit their 40s and suddenly feel mentally exhausted all the time?
I’m not depressed and my health is generally okay according to my doctor, but I feel like my battery never fully recharges anymore. Even after a full weekend I still wake up monday feeling tired. My wife keeps telling me I should probably take vitamins consistently instead of randomly remembering once every 2 weeks.
I'm wodering what other guys here actually use. Did a multivitamin help at all with energy, focus, recovery, or is it mostly placebo?
47M went through some tough tough times - essentially 5 years of chronic stress.
now I’m through to the other side and I just feel flat - no libido no motivation no enthusiasm's - did I fry my brain permanently?
any and all relatable experiences welcome
I hope it’s okay that I’m asking this here, as I want to be respectful of your space.
I’m a cisgender woman in her early 40s. Over the last couple of months, I’ve been teaching myself how to stand to pee. No need to pull down my pants. I stand straight, aim, and control flow. I typically get a distance of about 2-3ft, with the max I’ve ever reached being 5ft (very full bladder and perfect angle). Aim has been easier to control than I would’ve imagined I could, I’ve even hit a moving target.
I struggle to get a clean finish. That’s the last hurdle for me before I’d feel confident using this skill anywhere, anytime (not gonna lie… I hope to try a urinal someday, just to see how it feels). My stream starts tapering toward the end as pressure drops, and I can’t seem to get the last of it to project. Completely unnoticeable if I’m in a skirt and outdoors, but if I’m wearing pants I can feel dampness. How do you keep the stream from tapering? How do you keep the last bit of it projecting outward?
Also, totally a side note, but feel free to ask me anything about doing this as a woman. I’m an open book.
It a weird one. But why do older dicks look a bit odd almost deformed. When does the look of dick start changing and is there anything that can be done to avoid it ?
You’re not horny or otherwise aroused, but just feel like you need to unload?
Curious if this is a common issue among guys. I’m 45, and sometimes, I just feel the need to unload. Not even that interested in the process (masturbation or sex). Anybody else feel like this sometimes? Any ideas as to why this happens? Do you usually make yourself ejaculate to alleviate the feeling?
M54 - joined a chap in the shower after workout tonight, had a look at what he had and assume he did the same as we are right next to each other. Chatting and all that. I got a semi whilst washing it down and i'm pretty sure he noticed. Is it just one of those things? Not attracted to him in that way, just a chap my age with similar interests.
More and more since I hit my late 30s and especially after turning 40, I'm finding that this spark of motivation I had in my 20s to chase after that next shiny thing, whether it was a bonus at work or over some cute girl I'd just met, it just isn't there for me anymore. I'm careerwise on a somewhat stable path, nothing too crazy. Not so long ago, I was used to knowing what I needed to do next and I guess that's how I convinced myself I'd become even happier and more fulfilled back then. I realized late in life kids and marriage really weren't going to be for me, so that door closed. And especially late at night, I have these moments where I'm left wondering "What're we doing here, Silent? What's the next endgame? Is this it?!"
So I guess my question is, what do men in their 40s with no kids do to resolve that question and maintain a life that's still continually fun and somewhat meaningful?
I'm in my late 40s and I’ve been struggling a bit in the bedroom. My erections aren’t as strong and it’s affecting my confidence. I’m looking into natural erection training but I feel a little embarrassed even posting this.
Has anyone tried things that actually worked? Exercises, techniques, anything that helped you get results without pills? Even small improvements count because I just want to feel confident again.
Is complete alcohol intolerance normal?
46M.
I've never been a massive drinker but went through the binge phase in my twenties and early 30s. Always had hangovers after a heavy night but after some food and a bit of fresh air I'd normally be fine.
I don't drink regularly now but end up in a social situation where alcohol is involved or just go to the pub for something to do.
On Friday I had 3 bottles of lager over the course of 2 hours, I didn't feel drunk in the slightest but my sleep was terrible and I felt groggy all the next day. I also felt a bit nauseous until lunchtime.
While my friends my age also can't party as hard they did they can have 3 or 4 pints on a week night and go to work the next day no problem. The older generations of my family still drink heavily way into their 70s
Could my complete lack of alcohol tolerance indicate a medical issue or am I just old?
So I do my best to exercise with weights regularly on my lunch breaks. I usually am able to get in 40 minutes of work and I get to do it 3 or 4 times a week.
It isn't a lot of work and I don't do heavy weight but I'm just doing consistent work to keep the muscles active and strong.
I try to run once a week and at age 42 am still trying to play basketball once a week socially in rec comp - that maybe I still take a little too competitively.
Currently I'm having a big problem with my lower back, it's the second time in a year that it has flared up on me. I'm having no trouble twisting or turning but when trying to get in and out of a seated position I'm getting bad spasms. I didn't feel any twinges or specific pain, it was just a day after playing basketball this week my back started to get tight and then just seized up more and more as the day progressed.
I've spent over 20 years doing office work which I know has meant I have terrible hips but I need to figure out how to change up my exercises to better target the strength and resilience of my back.
I'm wordy so I try to keep this short, my husband plan a 2 days weekend trip for his mother for this weekend for Mother's Day. His mom wants her son, and is very happy for this trip.
Gurney accessible van to transport the paralyze her, and everything she needs medically are all prepare and ready for this 2 days trips of her.
Her doctors also approve the trip, and my husband is the one will care for her 24/7
My mother in-law really want me to go too, and expressed thank you to me for paid for this trip, and grateful to me for use my inheritance on her financially, so her remaining time she has left on this Earth she has her son take care for her.
I have no problem with use my Shanghai businessman father inheritance that left for me to use it on his mother. In fact I want to, and will continue do so until the day she die.
I just don't want to go on the trip with her, I rather has she spend mother and son time, without me. And there 2 reasons why I not want to go
1.. This weekend I have something with my astronomy hobby, and something with my local astronomers club.
2.. His mom she 83 and paralyze all 4 limps, and her terminal illness (multiple health conditions) and very frail. But she still 5'9" tall (180cm), and the 4'11" (150cm) tall me doesn't know how to lift her or move her or transport her.
.........
While my husband whom 6'3" (190cm) tall has training on all that, he had training since 4.5 years ago since his mother became quadriplegia paralyze.
If I was the one that lift and move her, and if she fall to her death (which she will die if she fall, she has heart problem that need open heart surgery too), it will be my culprit. I rather let the 190cm tall him whom has training to do that for his mother.
Me going I feel that I'm just in the way, even with both my mother in-law and my husband reassured me that I am overthinking, and that I'm not in the way, and they wants me there as a family.
But I not want to go, I just don't. And I not want to disappoint my mother in-law, but I not want to go. And I'm a very straightforward person, I don't know how to decline her politely.