Mas o que eu posso fazer? Consegui agora um emprego e vou receber um salário mínimo. Quanto vocês acham razoavel pagar por sessão sendo uma pessoa pobre? ela é do psymeet e a sessão é de 30 minutos mais ou menos.
I feel so inadequate at work.I've been trembling so much, and people notice it**.** I've been making so many mistakes. I greet people the wrong way, take too long to respond, speak so quietly, give incorrect information, and forget things I've already been told. Living like this is really hard. I would rather not be alive. I come home and keep replaying every interaction in my head. It hasn't been easy. I just don't see the point of living like this.
Lately I've been dwelling on how many people have made jokes about my lack of romantic experience. Total: 6. Every single one of them is a family member. The people who love me are the ones making fun of me.
Today my mom asked, "Are you going to become a nun?"
It makes me want to get revenge by becoming the biggest slut in the world.
Maybe I should join dating apps. I'd need to take pictures. All my photos would be taken at home. No, my life isn't interesting. I have to make someone interested in me. I have to put in all this effort, and in the end I might just get ghosted. I need to buy new clothes. Just thinking about all of this exhausts me.
Another day of hating myself. How is it my fault she gave birth to a weird, ugly daughter?
First of all: congrats to me.
Second of all: I'm fucked if I want to keep this job
How do I keep this job?
I've been isolated for the past three years, and now I have to work in customer service. Yep, customer service. 💀
Today was my first day, and I was already fucking everything up.
I forgot to write down people's names.
I don't even know how to greet people properly.
I avoided helping customers whenever I could, let my coworker speak for me, and when I did help someone, I either gave them the wrong information or forgot to tell them something important.
My voice is awful: it's way too quiet, and I sounded like I was about to cry.
Yeah, I almost cried.
I couldn't stop shaking.
After all that, I still have to deal with the overthinking and wondering why I was born like this.
But for today, I'm grateful for the opportunity to make mistakes. I have the right to be slow and awkward. Yes, I do.
I know the common thing is to say "good afternoon," but I always feel weird doing it. It seems like the other person is thinking, "why is this idiot greeting me?" and they often ignore me. I don't want to greet anyone anymore.
I started applying for jobs, and it’s funny how every listing always says things like “excellent communication skills,” “proactivity,” blah blah blah, all things that only normal people or people with some experience seem able to do. I don’t know how to do anything. I’m 26 years old and I’m afraid to look people in the eye, I stutter, I shake during any interaction. I overthink every interaction; it almost feels like some kind of cognitive problem. Sometimes people ask me open-ended questions and I genuinely don’t understand what they want to know.
I’ve never worked before, and that keeps me from being able to have a normal conversation with people. “What do you do for work?” Nothing. I’m nothing. “What about college?” I barely got through it. I studied something I hated and it took me seven years to finish, and in the end I couldn’t become a good professional or build any networking connections.
But beyond work, what even am I? I’m an empty person, with no hobbies. My greatest pleasure is sleeping. I wish I could sleep forever
Even when something good happens, I just wish I didn’t exist.
When my parents help me.
When I feel loved.
When they compliment me.
When I get a good grade on a test.
A feeling soon comes that, even so, it still isn’t worth it.
I remembered conversations I had when I was getting to know someone, and they would say, ‘Plan something for us to hang out you and your friends.’
And I said, ‘I don’t have any friends.’
And I think this is going to happen again.
If I try to build a friendship, the person will get to know me and realize that the only social circle I have is them
and that’s weird, and it breaks the other person’s expectations they thought I was cool until they found that out.
Como seria possível tratar a ansiedade social com a psicanálise, se eu tenho medo de falar? Sei que na psicanálise o paciente fala bastante e isso por si só já me causa ansiedade. A maior parte das pessoas com ansiedade social costuma se tratar com a TCC e não vejo muitos relatos de tratamento com a Psicanálise.