Seeming how many people with SA are completely avoidant with people they like or those who like them, have you ever had to muster up courage just to look at them in a way they could notice? If so, how did it go?
As a single woman, I'm just chilling and experience that men in relationships find me attractive. Some of it is just attraction and sometimes they get a little inappropriate. I obviously don't engage if I am aware of the girlfriend.
But one thing I noticed is that whenever I mention this dynamic, I am somehow always the villain and also 'easy' (despite not doing anything). I don't want to be rude, but is this how women in relationships cope with their boyfriends having wandering eyes?
I just don't understand why I have to be degraded in this regard. Why is it always that someone like me is just easy in their eyes, less attractive and every other bad thing in the book? Why can't it ever stop at 'he found her somewhat attractive but nothing happened' ???
Seriously, in this dynamic it's always the single woman and her behavior that is put under a magnifying glass. I find it extremely unfair and think it is incredibly bizarre that we just allow innocent single women to be degraded like this.
I'm a woman in my early twenties and have never had any romantic interaction before. I have recently been seen as attractive by men, but I am incredibly avoidant.
But honestly, I fear intimacy less than I fear the disappointment someone would feel when they see my naked body. I feel like nobody would really want to deal with this and so I feel that I shouldn't bother trying to date. I don't even give guys the chance to reject me because my hatred of my body is on the front of my mind everyday. I feel bad for the guys who're receiving the cold shoulder from me, but my lack of experience + extreme insecurity won't even allow me to try. I'm always scared I'll be made fun of (again), rejected for it or tolerated against their will.
I'm facially attractive and know how to dress, so I am always convinced I'm fooling people. I just genuinely can't date because I will not ever believe anyone would love me. I hope everyday I am just in my head about it, but I fear I am just too ugly to be liked.
Hi, I've been crushing on a guy from afar for a while now. I'm pretty sure he has social anxiety based on a lot of his behavior I've noticed.
Honestly so far I've only looked his way multiple times and it just seems like he's indifferent or even avoids (looking at) me. Only on one day (after many months) did he suddenly very intently look my way and then never did that again.
I just kind of accepted he probably doesn't find me attractive and doesn't want me to approach him, but I've been hearing more about how some people avoid their crush and it made me think twice about the way I approach my crushes.
My questions are 1) is it possible for people to like you and seem like they want you to get the hell away from them (lol) and 2) what ways could I (have) approach(ed) this better? I do like the more shy/quiet type of man so I'll need this advice in the future haha.
Body language does not give us the power to read someone's mind, so most people are very hesitant to ascribe deep meaning to these external cues, even when they are repeated or intense. I also tread with caution, because body language isn't a mathematic formula you can easily apply in all situations.
But despite the fact that we can't read someone's mind based off of body language, I'd love to hear stories where you've taken notice of body language cues of which you (later) discovered meant so much more than you could've guessed, or where the body language was a symptom of something much larger.
I personally remember a guy staring at me for months on end every time we were in the same room. I thought he might be attracted to me and stopped there. I found out he had a long term girlfriend and brushed his behavior off as fleeting attraction. At the very end of those multiple months he stared at me for (while living with the girl, going on multiple trips and dates) he apparently broke it off with her. I then realized that sometimes even something as benign as staring can have so much more to it than you could ever guess. I don't think I personally meant anything to him - I wasn't special - but the staring made the break up much more looming in retrospect. It made me realize that not all body language can be easily brushed off as meaningless.
And while you still can't deduce meaning from just body language alone, I don't think it's fair to brush body language off as completely meaningless. Sometimes it has a whole story and motivation behind it, one you could only discover when you explore the circumstances behind it. Ain't that interesting!