r/bodylanguage

Has it ever happened to you to just be inert and freeze when someone comes by and says hello, although you are not hostile to the person who greeted you?

you know the saying “a crush is just a lack of informations” and most of people develop crush based on the idea or the fantasy of that person more than on how actually is that person.
but I’m wondering, did anyone ever get to know their crush on a deeper level and realized that they are actually better than what they thought, knowing the person closely made your feelings got stronger?
did anyone of you guys experienced that?
please share yours stories with me

I have trouble picking up on flirty/ if someone likes you

(as a girl)

One tell I have started to notice over the years that shows that someone may be attracted to you is the jealous third party. You may be chatting to your person of interest, and suddenly, a third person, neither of you knows or is close to, joins the conversation.

That could be a sign that this third person is either interested in you or the person you are talking to, and wants to act as a buffer. Now, this is different from when it's a friend who just wants to join the conversation. That's just someone who wants to join in on the chat. The jealous third party is usually a stranger, or has no real reason to be part of the conversation. And they start doing things like cutting in or redirecting attention to themselves. They are not passive. They very deliberately try to stop your conversation and move the focus onto themselves. Sometimes, in ways that seem almost rude to just plain awkward.

Bonus points if this third person only comes to chat to you when you are chatting to this other specific person. They never come over at other times, but as soon as you and your person of interest start talking, or are about to start talking, they swoop in. I have often had difficulty reading signals and body language, but once I start noticing the third person, I go, "Oh, it's probably not all in my head. If this other person notices it, there may very well be something there." And that's a big thing. If someone else notices the chemistry between you, it must be tangible enough to be real.

Have any of you ever experienced this?

idk why a guy i don't even talk to keeps on looking at me for six months now. every time we walk past each other, he looks at me. even when i am behind him, he looks back every single time. he even finds me among the crowds; and whenever i look around, he's there too in my vicinity. especially every morning where i go to that one place, i occassionally see him there (for like 6 times during the 6 months) and now, he's there every single morning. though when i look back, he looks away and pretends he didn't see me. when i stood beside him, so close, he started coughing and idk why - he was always fumbling, too.

one time, i was sitting at a table, chatting with friends when i felt a pair of eyes staring at me - he had been watching me from afar all along. and recently, i was alone at a table, talking to my friends at the phone when he sat on the nearest chair across me, scrolling through his phone.

it's just that it's always the same guy and there were no time when he didn't look. always lingering, always looking, yet seems to be scared of whatever it was.

I need the input of the ladies for this one.

I work in an office environment and there's this guy who is very well dressed, easy going, friendly and cordial. He is fairly young, fit and married. He is also clearly, the office's eye candy for the ladies. I constantly catch them looking at him wether he is passing by or just on his desk and they are the ones passing by (his desk is away from halls/pathways. These ladies literally walk straight while turning their heads 90 degrees to stare at this dude throughout their walk for SECONDS as in 10 seconds). Nothing crazy or creepy, right?

Here's the part I'm not getting. When he is interacting with the female coworkers, they either have this blank (sort of RBF) expression or they literally have a disgust expression (might as well have "EWWW" written on their forehead). And no, he is not a dork. He is very smooth even when talking to guys.

Any insight on this? Are they repulsed by this guy? They dont smile when they look at him. Are they trying some weird hard to get? I doubt it since they don't actually approach him. What is going on?

i’m not even exaggerating and he only does this to me because he keeps his gaze straight when it’s someone else. but if i walk past him, he would snap his gaze down or somewhere else so fast. wth does this mean? not interested? shy?

i used to volunteer at the place he works at. we had conversations (always work related) and he keeps a reeeeally good eye contact when we talk. you know how people unconsciously look somewhere else when they talk or you talk? yeah none of that shit happens when we talk. i tried smiling if i walk past/see him but he would be already looking at the floor or the wall or the ceiling. like bro

i’m curious why men do this

Not crush or admiration but GENUINELY loves a girl

so I have this crush on a coworker and I had catches him staring a lot of times in the last 2 years. It could be me being delusional and he in fact don’t even notice but my question is not about that. I’m wondering what all this time I thought he is admiring me or even like me when in fact he actually dislike me as a person. you know especially in workplace a lot of times coworkers dislike random colleagues even if they don’t interact with them and without real reason and it includes a lot of gossip or bad mouthing each others. What if that is my case? especially me being not that liked in my workplace due to my introverted and awkward personality.
so how to know if he is dislike me and having this “secret forbidden crush” on me?….. I genuinely want to know because the times I have catch him staring is not normal or regular

There’s a coworker I’ve had a bit of a feeling about for a while. Even before we ever followed each other on Instagram, I had this gut feeling that maybe she was open to something casual. I could be completely wrong about that, though. It was never based on anything concrete.

For context, I only work part-time and I barely see her. Sometimes it’s once a month, sometimes maybe 4-5 times depending on the schedule, so it’s not like we’re constantly around each other.

A while back, we were talking and she mentioned that she had seen me on Instagram. I jokingly asked why she hadn’t added me, and we ended up exchanging Instagram accounts.

She’s a single mom and posts her kid fairly often.

Yesterday, I was joking with her about how I’ve basically been around since her kid was growing up, and I asked if he was always smiling in her pictures.

Later that day I needed some USB sticks, so I asked her if she had any. She brought them to my office and jokingly asked me how much I loved her. I made a gesture with my hands and said, “This much.”

It was obviously a joke, but I wasn't expecting the conversation to continue the way it did.

When she got home, she sent me a picture of her kid crying and said something along the lines of, “He’s not smiling.”

I replied, “Ah no, I think I gave him the evil eye :(”

She said, “lol it’s all your fault.”

I said, “You gotta tell me how I can make it up.”

She said, “I’ll have to think.”

I said, “Alright, I’ll be waiting to hear that.”

Then she said, “I’m open to suggestions though.”

I said, “Okay, give me a hint then.”

She said, “Get your own USB stick 😂”

I said, “That will only make his mom happy lol.”

She said, “lol that’s very important I think.”

I said, “That’s easy, tell him I’ll make her happy.”

She said, “You’ll make me happy?”

I said, “Yes, by bringing my own USB sticks.”

She then said something like, “Well, you have two weeks until I see you? That’s enough time lol.”

I said, “I’ll put my best efforts.”

She said, “Lol I’ll be waiting with anticipation.”

I replied an hour or two later, “Consider it done!!”

She said, “Have a good night!”

And that was basically it.

Now, I know this could all be completely innocent. I might be picking up on cues that aren't actually there. But yesterday felt a little different because I was definitely flirting back a little, and she seemed to play along rather than shutting it down. The “make me happy,” “I’m open to suggestions,” and “waiting with anticipation” comments are what made me wonder.

For some additional context, I’m not exactly sitting here hoping something happens. She’s not someone I’m particularly excited about pursuing, and I’m not actively looking for a hookup with her. If she were genuinely interested, I probably wouldn’t say no, but I’m also not going out of my way to make something happen.

So I guess my question is: does this sound like two coworkers joking around, or does it sound like there may actually be some mutual flirting/interest here?

And please don't assume she's definitely interested just because of the way I interpreted it. I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether I’m reading the situation correctly.

So, she’s fairly new. I was introduced to her on her first day and we’ve been somewhat cool with each other. I did notice, that if we made eye contact she would look away..it seemed like she’s shy or a bit anxious. One day I confronted her and asked her if we had some type of “beef” jokingly ofc & she laughed and said no beef at all. My job requires me to communicate with her a lot so we would have small talks about the job here and there. Yesterday, I was walking by and she Randomly ask about my tattoos and wanted to see it, so then I asked about hers and the meaning & she said it’s dedicated to her daughter, & mine is too. She got very elated and started asking me a ton of questions..then it turns out her mom is from the same country I’m from. So, we ended up having a convo about that too. Fast forward to today, I over heard them asking each other about their age. I happened to be walking by but I didn’t stay for the conversation. So, long after, I heard someone saying my name. I turned around and she said “hey I wanted to ask you how old u are” so I said “how old do I look” she said 21 I said guess again and she said idk, so I said 25 about to be 26. She said you don’t look like it. I responded with “I look like I have a baby face ?” Because a lot of people say that to me and what she said shook me for a bit, she said “ you know what other people say about me ?” ( she told me she was 20 btw) so I said what’s that and she said “ a M.I.LF” so I was like “huh ?” And she repeated. In my head I’m thinking does she know what a M.I.L.F is and also we haven’t been “cool” that long for her to be telling me people view her as a M.I.LF” but I’ve noticed a lot of guys have been chasing her and making advances to her and I decided i won’t be one of them so I just keep it cool. Then she proceeds to tell me that I seem very mature and I’m on good path and then she walked away.

I had a coworker/friend (?) who would not stop finding opportunities to stare at me from the moment I met him. Many things happened in our relationship, and let's just say we began to drift due to a conflict in between the two of us. He was very hot and cold and there was clearly attraction between us but it felt like he did not want to give me the time of day so I put distance.

He did not stop staring, not even up until his last day. He would always hold doors with his whole body so I'd have to inch closer to him, would breathe heavily near me, accidentally grunt in my ear, and so on. But above all, he could not physically stop himself from looking at me incredibly often, to a point where others noticed. He is a huge flirt and had some people who were clearly into him, and he was even touchy with them, but for some reason he panicked horribly at the idea of me hugging him once. No matter what I did, he would look. Even on his last days, he would find ways to circle around me so he could get a 360 view, kept randomly looking at me mid conversation with others, and once snuck up behind me as I spoke with someone before walking away. Sometimes he'd even get into specific positions and angles just so he could see me. Despite this, he never actually wants to talk to me (even after I made attempts to treat him warmly), and would often sadly watch as I spoke with others amiably. Can anyone get a read on the logic behind this body language if there is no real engagement?

I’m F21 and I don’t have much dating experience. I’ve been asked out a couple of times and dated one person. I would say I’m above average. But I’m still a reserved and shy person. I constantly hear that confidence in a woman is really important. The thing is, I would describe myself as confident but I feel like I don’t come off as confident because I am quiet. Is it a turn off for men when a woman is shy, quiet, and not popular?

I am shy and awkward , I’ve found that it’s hard to give hints to guys I think are attractive because I don’t wanna come off as weird or too awkward but I’m at a point where I wanna start getting out of my comfort zone . If anyone else can relate please lmk how you usually go about this !