r/bodylanguage

Signs that you are attractive:

1)People approach you a lot. Girls touch you when talking (this does NOT apply to very tactile persons who touch almost everyone) and have a flirty vibe toward you. When talking, they want to keep the conversation going. People seat next to you if they can, and invite you to social gatherings. If you approach other people, they are happy and smile at you (especially girls).

2)If you are the one who makes eye contact with someone, he/she says "hello" or smiles.

3)You receive compliments from people you meet the first time. Some of the most common are "you are handsome", "your eyes are beautiful". But there is also stuff like "you have a kind face", "you dress well", "you seem a good guy".

4)People often ask you if you have a GF or just assume you have one.

5)Not necessarily a sign...but it's possible that you grow *very* extrovert, confident, friendly.

Signs that you are unattractive:

1)In social settings, you are usually left alone. People don't talk to you, except for random reasons or when you go talk to them. And if you approach them and try to create a longer interaction, they don't keep the conversation going. People somehow view you as "a weird one" for not interacting and as even weirder when you try to interact.

2)If you are the one who makes eye contact with someone, he/she notes you, but does not react with a greeting or a smile.

3)People don't say that you are attractive ( your relatives do NOT count as they are used to your face, of course your mom thinks that you are handsome, so does mine lol). You hate yourself in most pictures (not matter the angle, lightning, pose etc) and consider yourself ugly (unless it's really a BD, it's possible you are right). Not very likely to happen, but...mean people or people who want to insult you when you get into heated arguments, may say "you are ugly"; it's one of the first insults coming to their mind.

4)You are never asked if you have a girlfriend. It's often assumed you don't have one. You probably don't have one.

5)Again, not necessarily a sign, but it's possible you will develop a *very* shy, introvert, and wallflower personality.

First off, I'm a massive overthinker.

I 25M (in a relationship) think I might have a crush on someone, 25F, who I think is flirting with me and she is amazing, but to be so real I have the kind of neurodivergency and mentality that makes it hard to have conversations that I perceive to be difficult. Side note: If someone starts the conversation and I'm comfortable with them and it's 1-on-1, I'd have the conversation. Picking up every look, pause or comment and replaying them over and over again in my head is not a fun character trait. This isn't an action post, I just realised that I'm finding it hard to process and sharing is caring, so at least I can take that away from it and not bury it.

Here are a few things capturing my attention:

\- Put me in situations where I feel flustered.

\- Actually care if I show disgust/disturbance towards something.

\- Interested in my real response (rather than masked response).

\- Comments regarding attention to her.

\- Comments regarding her own attractiveness.

\- Comments about other people as competition.

And they are just some of the things I pretend not to notice. I kind of just want to stop pretending to not notice but don't know how to.

Hello, i want some unexpected physical traits that many men find really attractive in women but mot women have no idea about..

So I’m dating a single father, he and I dated a few years ago and we rekindled the last year. He is working two jobs and has a child but makes time for me every week since we first started seeing each other again and we’re getting more comfortable now with each other therefore he’s been more present in my life and spending time with me on weekends. However he told me he hates texting and will text me or engage with me online once a day but will not text me throughout the day. But when we’re together not on his phone and is present with me. Is he interested?

I feel as if a lot of people look at me in public I’m m18 and even ladies or guys twice my age look at me weird, or with good intention (guys mostly looking at me weird) I don’t think I’m bad looking, my guy friends say I look like a model but no female input. really just lots and lots of stares I’m also pretty shy in public so it just feels like they’re staring though my soul that’s why I bring this up.

She expects monogamy but i want to do it with others too cuz im a guy and we're biologically wired this way and monogamy only benefits women. I want to stay in a relationship though and she's just not going to know.

Is my thinking incredibly fucked up or at least a tiny bit justified? Be honest. I'm 25 she's 22

I smile. Of course I do! Its just my natural expression tends to lean towards looking sad or mad. I dont know why people call relaxing your face in this way "resting-bitch face"? Whats wrong with looking sad or mad? Also bitch is such a gendered insult. A discussion for another day.

Anyway, I got told by some guy that he gets intimidated by me because I dont give him a default smile face.

Well say something funny or do something worth smiling for you pathetic whelp haha.

Am I just hurting your man pride or ruining how you think a woman oughta act to you? Who the fuck said I gotta warp my face to please you?

I believe in the bare minimum of politeness or whatever but contorting my face for no reason is just beyond me.

A woman who doesn't naturally smile gets punished. I know I'm probably permanently marked as a bitch or unfriendly or whatever but I feel good to only smile when I really mean it.

Tell me how much different is the social consequences a man gets for not smiling as a default compared to a woman?

How many women absolutely adore aloof and frowning men and how many men adore women with the same qualities?

Is smiling some sort of gender construct that is just missing from my code?

And yes I wrote this post as a rant because I liked that guy and now I'm not sure how I feel about him anymore.

I’ve noticed this dynamic a few times and wanted to get your honest thoughts on it. When you are talking to a guy you have a massive crush on, do you consciously make an effort to speak in a softer, gentler, or quieter tone? Or is it a completely accidental, subconscious thing that just happens when the nerves/attraction hit?

So the thing is that whenever I (17F) have a crush on a guy I try not to make it so obvious, but when notice that a guy likes me back and actively flirts with me, makes time for me and tries to spend time alone with me and we're basically in a situationship and feel like it's time to take the next step, aka flirt back and stop acting clueless, I notice that the guy just pulls away and stops being so proactive until it turns into me just liking them but feeling confused and heartbroken. Do you not like the girl you like to flirt back or am I doing something wrong?

Unless I feel like this woman would date me, I don't engage with her if she does the same niche hobby as me

The reason for this is because it's already rare for women to like these hobbies (or at least show it), so when a woman does enter this space, she gets endless attention. She herself also knows that she has increased her "dating value" amongst the other hobbyists and might not lock in with one man, but rather keep all of her options open

I save myself from having to compete for her, by simply not competing for her. If she wants to date me, she'll come up to me herself

One time, I was doing indoor rock climbing and this girl who I never spoke to, started speaking to me. At first I got annoyed because I had a feeling she was just going around talking to all of the guys in order to gain validation and potentially "collect" simps

I wasn't rude, but I didn't really care to respond to her too much. Eventually I warmed up slightly, but I then got up and left, wishing her goodbye

The next time she saw me, she smiled and said hi, but she was with two other guys, so I just said hi and left the area

I realized I have no reason to engage with her. If she approached me while alone, and showed me that she only wants me, because she likes me, and not because she just wants to collect a bunch of orbiters to give her attention, I would have chatted with her, gotten to know her, exchanged social media(s) etc

I feel like women in niche hobbies that tend to be male dominated, know how much dating power they have within that hobby space, and just like a dating app, they can't just stick to one guy, rather need them all

I just feel like if a woman has a niche hobby that alot of men enjoy, she has now increased her dating value 100-fold

So how does one man even date a woman like that - a woman that other men have dreamed of for decades. It feels like a waste of time to pursue her, because she will literally have an insane amount of options, and simps who will do ANYthing for her. I can't, nor will do ANYthing for her.

I don't discriminate against any woman who wants to do any hobby. Why would I? However, I don't engage with them

Any other men have this experience? Where it's super hard to date women in male dominated hobbies, because these women literally get 24/7 attention from the other hobbyists?

Any women have this experience? Where guys will ignore you in male dominated hobbies - for whatever reason?

Introverted & likes to make fun of you in a lighthearted way. Is that way to pretty much everyone, except he likes to be extremely “annoying” to me and is also very touchy (casual touches).

And I can tell it's not because they think I'm hot. Mentioning that because I've seen people mention that in this sub before.

They look at me like I'm a nuisance. There's nothing wrong with my clothing. My hair is fine.

And when I stare back it's their sheer audacity to look as though I was the one staring to begin with.

This happens with almost every person as I walk down the road.

This is too much to just ignore. It really is exhausting when it happens to this extent.

Edit : I'm a man, if that helps.

Pls I need help identifying if this woman likes me or not. I have a coworker who I have learned to absolutely adore over a short period of time of knowing her. She’s so pretty and so freaking sweet. She’s always so sweet to me. We work right next to each other. Now I am gay but I haven’t dated or had a woman crush in a LONG time. But still nonetheless my gayness hasn’t gone anywhere over the years. I can not tell if this woman is just being nice or if she’s been hinting at me lowkey. 😭 I do know that she has a ex husband. I haven’t heard her talk anything about being gay so (I’m assuming) she straight. But after these past few days I’m starting to feel like she’s curious MAYBE (hopefully) at the least lol.
(Sorry this is so long I haven’t had a crush in forever and I’m rather excited, regardless of what happens LOL)

1. ⁠So some hints have been when we talk (we sit right next to eachother) she looks directly in my eyes (of course) but I always notice her eyes shifting down??? & like two days ago I wore a collared shirt and I was trying to fix it while we were talking, her eyes shifted at my hands adjusting my collar buttons WAY past long enough for me to notice 😭
2. ⁠^ Later that same day her coffee spilled unfortunately. I immediately helped her since I was the only one actively listening I guess lol and she told me I was her best friend…(I feel like I sound so delusional lmao)
3. ⁠Now today when I get to work she goes (cause I was late) “(says my name) I’m always happy to see you…I was worried”……
4. ⁠Other small things I’ve noticed is that when I’m walking back to our desk she always looks at me and smiles, cause her desk is right before mine so she always comes first for me to see her. (Ive began observing this after realizing she does this to me to see if she does this to anyone else that stirs further past us, she doesn’t lol) And when we see each other in the hallways she giggles and waves.

😭 please let me know what you guys think. I’m sorry this was so long omg but I need help! I wanna ask her out or hint at some flirting in a way but I don’t want to be inappropriate :/

There’s a girl at my job we don’t work the same dept but she always comes off as nervous around me looking at the ground whenever she sees me or sometimes I’ll catch her looking at me nervously I don’t want to be delusional i don’t know whether to leave it alone or just say fuck it

A while ago, she needed to go to the Civil Registry Office to complete her driver's license paperwork. Even though she could have easily found the location on Google Maps, she called me and asked, "How do I get there?"

The day before that, she had a big argument with the guy she had just started seeing and was emotionally overwhelmed. We spent that night together. She was much more affectionate than she had ever been before—she hugged me, wanted me to hold her hand and stroke her hair. She also said things like, "Let's always do things together, go out, and spend time together. I have no one."

A few days later, she texted me asking about the plums she had eaten that night. Even though she already had my sister's phone number, she could have asked her instead. Likewise, she called me for directions to the Civil Registry Office even though she could have found it on Google Maps herself. These things made me wonder if she was finding little excuses to stay in touch with me.

Later, we planned to go to an event together, but she postponed it because she was moving. She texted me, "Can I cancel Friday? I'm moving and I'm on my own." I told her it wasn't a problem. She jokingly replied, "You didn't even ask if I needed help." So I offered to help her.

The next day we agreed to meet at her place. She told me, "Come at 4 p.m., we'll have coffee and chat." Later she texted again saying, "If you want, come earlier so we can gossip and hang out."

I went to help her move. The move turned out to be much more physically demanding than I expected. On top of that, the guy she had been seeing also showed up to help. We spent hours moving furniture and other belongings from different apartments into her new place. When everything was finished, we didn't have coffee or spend any time together—I just went home.

On the way home, I couldn't help feeling disappointed. I kept thinking about all the things she had said and done before: texting me about the plums, calling me instead of simply looking up directions online, and how warm she had been before the move. At that point, I realized she had probably made up with the guy she was seeing. Maybe I had simply been seeing what I wanted to see and giving her actions more meaning than they actually had. That's why I'm now trying to look at everything more objectively.

Im kinda gutted. Was this not flirting or was I just delusional? My gut told me he had a crush on me, but I found out he’s married…

Was this behavior really just friendly? Or is he flirting w me even tho he’s married?

- he seems eager to talk to me online and also irl, but more held back irl
- happy, smiley and sometimes almost giggly around me
- kept conversations online going for a long time
, one time over an hour without any necessary reason
- gave me lots of compliments on my work
- heart-reacted to lots of my messages
- seemed a bit nervous in real life but also drawn toward me
- held deep eye contact
- asked and talked about personal things
- asked me personal questions
- talked about working out and his career like he was trying to impress me
- tries to make me laugh and joke
- talked about a trip he was going on and showed me pictures of it on his phone

aka what, as a guy, should I be looking for?

When I was a ninth grader/freshman in prep school I liked a jock. For context, I was a brown/South Asian girl, fairly competent at athletics but not super good or anything, very bookish and opinionated and into politics/history/debate and he was two years older than me. So he was a junior and then later a senior (while I was a sophomore at the school), and he was very WASP-y white.

He had held the door open for me once and we barely had any interactions. What little interactions - passing each other by in the hall, seeing each other etc. we did have he was normal and nice to me. I had a very schoolgirl crush on him so once I glanced at him flirtatiously and I saw him react with friendly surprise and a kind of an 'oh?' expression. I think I did this a couple more times but he didn't seem interested or into it so I backed off. However, I continued looking at him/seeing him but without flirting as I was a little fixated (not an excuse, but I learned later I was ~on the spectrum~ hence my somewhat impolite staring though at the time I didn't know- and I do feel I did stop staring eventually/withdrew).

Anyway, once I was leaving class to go to the bathroom and he bursts out of the stairwell and looks at me with hatred, his body bulking and towering over me. Keep in mind he was really tall and I was like 15 and five foot four - he was 17/18 at the time and six foot something and also a football player. I think I paused and I stepped back in surprise like what the fuck was that???? And it was very silent and ambient, nobody else was in the hallway. I also remember I felt like it came out of nowhere, like I hadn't seen him in a long time or I hadn't been looking at him either so it felt incredibly unwarranted and unfair.

But after that, every time we'd pass each other by - and it's a small school so duh we are going to see each other - he'd glare and posture. He'd fix his glare at me and hold my gaze as we passed each other in the hallway. Once he was in a group of friends and I passed by - I think I was alone - and he literally shifted his head to the side and went out of his way to glare at me. It was obviously intimidation in retrospect but at the time I blamed myself and felt embarrassed- like I overstepped or made him uncomfortable, so maybe that's why he was acting this way. I had obviously stopped looking at him and withdrawn emotionally but he kept on doing it and it lasted at least a year if not more.

From what I remember, I would just look back at him with widened eyes and be silent and anxious. I don't think I ever broke though like I kept emotional composure as he did this LMFAO. I also didn't tell anyone because I was so ashamed. Even if it was VERY VISIBLE in the hallway looking back LOL. He and I never spoke either which made it feel more insane like a psychological thriller almost.

But he'd look very emotionally dysregulated and angry as he was looking at me. And even vulnerable. The stalemate/climax moment came when I was walking down the hallway and I see him and I'm like oh no. Here we go again. We met each other's gaze kind of furtively and I think my eyes were lowkey friendly/humorous (like..oop) because I knew what was coming even if I was NOT looking forward to it LOOLLL. He immediately starts glaring and his body tenses like he's mad as hell against me. I looked back with a fallen expression but still composed. His eyes softened but he also seemed really angry and then confused.

He looked wounded and like he wanted me to say/do something even as he was glaring at me. We both looked at each other and his eyes widened and he got this perturbed look on his face and then his eyes dropped, and he looked overwhelmed and vulnerable. He grimaced. And then he locked eyes with me and started glaring again. At this point, I made an effort to move my gaze to the side - which was harder to do than it should have been cuz he was attentively glaring at me - but I did that then I walked straight ahead of him. After this, he stopped doing it as intensely or rather the weird dynamic halted.

So... what was going on? Was he racist? Trying to assert dominance? Did he feel attraction and was he getting emotionally defensive about it? Was he trying to signal something to his friends/ the other jocks (since I didn't 'fit in' that crowd or whatever)?

As an adult woman I've encountered abusive dynamics or men trying to dominate me in a similar fashion - although in actual interpersonal, intimate relationships - so I'm revisiting and trying to understand what happened here. As I think this was my first experience with this archetype.