r/AmItheButtface

​I manage a fan/support page on Instagram. It’s a positive, wholesome space.

​Recently, we received a barrage of direct messages from a specific account. The messages were incredibly toxic—full of heavy swearing, insults, and relentless cyberbullying directed at me (the page manager) and the page itself.

​Instead of engaging, arguing, or dropping down to his level, I simply reported the messages and the account to Instagram for bullying and harassment.

​Within just 3 minutes of reporting, I got a notification from Instagram thanking me for the report and stating that they removed the account for violating Community Guidelines. Out of curiosity, I checked what kind of ban this person got. It turns out, his account is completely nuked. He received the ultimate ban screen: "Your account or activity on it doesn't follow our community guidelines. You cannot request another review of this action. Log out."

​Here is where I am feeling a bit conflicted. Based on the profile and the way he typed, we think the person whose account got banned is around 12 years old. I know kids at this age test boundaries and do stupid things without realizing the consequences. If he or his parents were to reach out to me right now with a sincere apology, I would honestly feel sad for him. But the reality of digital rules is cold: even if I forgave him and wanted to withdraw my complaint, I can't. That account is gone forever, along with his photos, messages, and followers. There is absolutely no coming back from that screen.

​Some part of me feels like this is a massive, permanent punishment for a kid making a mistake. But another part of me feels like this is the exact "fuck around and find out" natural consequence he needed to experience to learn that the internet isn't a lawless place.

​AITB? Was reporting him the right move, knowing how ruthless and incredibly fast (literally 3 minutes) the automated ban system can be, or should I have just blocked him and moved on without permanently destroying his digital footprint?

​TL;DR: A kid (who we think is around 12 years old) relentlessly swore at and bullied a page I manage. I reported him, and in just 3 minutes, Instagram permanently deleted his account with no chance of appeal. I feel a bit guilty knowing it's irreversible, even if he regrets it.

I (18F) went on a date with a guy (19M) to make my ex jealous (not to achieve anything. I don't want him back, I'm just petty). It was a casual hangout that really only consisted of awkward conversation and walking around, and we told each other that we wanted to see each other again but in the way where you know you're never going to talk to this person again. I soft launched him on my main, public account and hard launched on my private with a photobooth kiss photo.

After launching, one of my friends who went to school with him freaked out and called me after seeing my story, and told me that apparently up in school he was looking up girls skirts and just being "stalkerish". I talked to a few more people who went to the same school as him and they told me the same thing. I told him on the first date that I had a set of expectations for a guy that would not ever bend, which included not being creepy. I hate confrontation and therefore decided to block him across all platforms and pray he got the hint.

Unfortunately, apparently we have some mutual friends who I can't avoid in my life, that are now spamming me asking why I blocked him. Do I tell them all the stuff I heard, or is it just going to make them give some sort of justification that I don't want to hear? Do I unblock and explain why I'm not comfortable or willing to talk to this guy again? The ex hasn't seen my story so I don't want to take it down yet, but it feels weird still having it up. And kinda buttface-y considering how I am basically using the guy for some petty goal.

I (25M) and my wife (25F) used to be very close with my sister (28F). This happened about 4 years ago.

It was sick season, so my wife, our 7-month-old daughter, and I had stayed home for about 3 weeks except to pick up Walmart grocery orders. For my birthday, we decided to visit my parents since we thought it would be safe.

When we arrived, only my dad was there. About 20 minutes later, my mom and sister arrived with her two kids after a doctor's appointment. They all started playing together.

About 15 minutes later, my sister casually said, "Don't let them eat or drink after each other or put the same toys in their mouths because they have Hand, Foot, and Mouth."

We immediately separated the kids and left shortly afterward. We were upset she waited until after they had already been playing to tell us.

Four days later, our daughter started getting sick. We made a doctor's appointment for the next morning. That night, I saw my sister post on Facebook that one of her kids was taking a breathing treatment with the caption, "My poor babies are slowly getting over RSV."

I messaged her asking when they had been diagnosed and whether she knew they might have RSV when we visited. Instead of answering directly, she argued with me and avoided the questions.

The next day, our daughter tested positive for RSV. Later that same day, her breathing became so bad that we rushed her to the children's hospital, where she spent a week recovering. At one point, her oxygen dropped to 80%.

After more arguments, my sister finally admitted she had taken her kids to be tested for RSV the same day we all got together. She never warned us beforehand. Her excuse for bringing them over was, "Mom asked us to come in." I told her she had seen our vehicle outside and could have simply gone home instead of exposing everyone.

For context, our daughter had already been hospitalized twice before for breathing issues caused by simple colds, and I have asthma, so respiratory illnesses are something we take very seriously.

We know nobody can prove exactly where she caught RSV, but no one around us had been sick for weeks, and this all happened immediately after they played together.

We asked my sister for an apology—not because we think she intentionally got our daughter sick, but because she didn't warn us about Hand, Foot, and Mouth or tell us her kids were being tested for RSV. She has refused.

Our parents and siblings think we're overreacting, but because of everything that happened and her refusal to take any responsibility, we haven't spoken to her or let her around our daughter in four years.

AITBF?

Yesterday we decided to have a casual brunch as a way to meet my brother's partner's family for the first time. We chose a local cafe because they have really good vegan options for me, and in the past have been great. However, once we got there, I was disapointed to see they completely changed their menu. They didn't have a single option on there for me. But living in a small town, I'm very used to this (demand must not be there for these options). I was just disappointed because this cafe was previously one of my favourites!

I wrote a google review along the lines of "The new menu has a V label at the bottom, but not a single vegan option. I'm really disappointed because the options here used to be great :( ".

Meanwhile, my mum went to the counter and asked them if any of their options COULD be adjusted, and they said yes, but only a few items on the menu like avocado toast and mushroom toast. I'm not really a savoury breakfast person, so I decided on just a black coffee.

Everyone else ordered their food and it was fine, next thing you know, three of the staff members come out of the kitchen. The man (who I'm assuming is the cook) announced how "anything on the menu I will make vegan for you" and at first, I thought they were just being nice after what my mum asked at the counter.

The other staff members were stressing, and then in a really confrontational tone, she loudly said "was it you who wrote the review? About the vegan options? Did you write it?"

I cannot even begin to express just how awkward and completely humiliating this was. The entire cafe went silent and stared at me like I'd just committed some really disturbing crime. I'm a VERY quiet and nonconfrontational person, and I was so in shock I couldn't even respond. My mum ended up answering for me, and then they pressured me to delete it and change it if the chef made me whatever I wanted on the menu.

Again, I can't stress enough just how embarrassing this was. Not to mention the fact that the people I was sitting with hardly know me, now this is their first impression of me. I can't stop thinking about it.

I didn't end up ordering anything, because with their tone and the way they went about it, I couldn't even be sure i could to trust anything they prepared for me (i'm weird with food). I told them I deleted the review, and I did, but once I went home, I replaced it with a longer one describing this whole experience.

I can't stop thinking about this. I feel SO embarrassed.

sorry if my spelling or punctuation isn’t correct, i am from denmark.

i haven’t talked to her yet, but i am planning to. and i want advice

so my best friend (21f) has recently moved out and lives on her own in a 1 room apartment, she has a bf (19m) who she has been dating, since a few days before valentine this year (2026)
however her and her bf’s relationship has been toxic, she has cheated on him, and he has been talking shit about her behind her back and too has cheated on her. my friend told me she has lost feelings and are trying to find ways in which to breakup.

now to why i’m asking if i would be the AH; my friend is pregnant, 3-4 weeks along and is planing on keeping it, however her mental state is not the best. her and her bf are constantly fighting.

firstly, she struggles with an eating disorder, alcoholism, adhd. (not that if you have these thing you aren’t a fit mother or anything) but she genuinely isn’t in a position where mentally she would be ready and/or able.

secondly, her finances are terrible, she got paid 4 days ago (about 8000DKK) and now on the 4th she has 300DKK for the rest of the month, her rent utilities stuff is about 4000DKK a month meaning she would have 4000DKK left monthly, which wouldn’t be enough for her, her bf and a child to live off of, her bf does work but he still lives with his dad and i don’t think his monthly pay would be enough either. i think his pay is around 25.000DKK monthly.

thirdly, when she first moved in she tried to take her cat with her from her parents, but realised it was too much responsibility, and that she wanted to be able to go out, and drink with friends till late, without having to come home and take care of the cat. so she gave the cat back to her parents. now if she thinks a cat is too much responsibility, why would she want a baby?

fourthly, my friend has zero education and/or job, she has said herself she wouldn’t be able to handle having a job, and she isn’t in the right headspace to continue with her education. but she would be able to have the hardest job in the world, being a mother?

fifthly, her adoptive parents are in their 60’s, and she has zero communication with her biological parents. if she needs babysitting help or need help/or support idk if she would be able to get it. her and her adoptive parents relationship aren’t the best either. and her bf’s parents, from what i know his dad is in a wheelchair, so idk if he would be able to help, and his mother lives an hour away.

ultimately it’s her body and her choice, and i would support her no matter what, but it seems like she is in love with the idea, but that she hasn’t thought much about the reality. i have also talked to other people in the friend group, and we all think it’s not a good time for her. i talked to my parents too about it and my parents don’t think it’s a good time for her either.

so would i be wrong for telling her that right now isn’t a good time for her to have a baby?

My girlfriend has beautiful dark skin! Very dark! She is a fully black woman. I, however, am a very white looking mixed man!

My girlfriend at any opportunity she can get will insult me for being pale or for being white. Sometimes she'll even say rlly subtle things so theres some deniability ["you have white ppl hair it can't be fixed" (not a thing btw)(and my hair is curly)(and wtf)]. Hell, one time she outright said (she's an artist) "I'm gonna colour your skin darker bc you'd look better with darker skin." Which is disgusting to say! If id said that to her [the other way around] (i would NEVER say smth like that to anyone) she'd obviously be insanely insulted. Yknow, bc that's a shitty thing to say.

Anyway, I finally could not handle hearing it anymore (I've given her more gentle warnings that I dislike it in the past), and I like seriously told her off. I avoided insulting her, and attempted to explain why it was so upsetting, but she seems to think I'm over reacting.

I think it'd be inappropriate to be making the comments she has towards someone who is fully white, but in my case I've told her before im insecure about being as white in appearance as I am because no one believes me when I say I'm mixed. Which I am, my parents are both half black, half white, i just got all the white ppl genes ig. My family often makes fun of me for being the palest person in our family, and people discredit me as a liar when I say im mixed. She knows im insecure about this, and don't take "jokes" about it very well.

Actually, she also discredits anything i say as a mixed person because I look so white. Mind you, people can usually tell from my facial features im "non distinctly some kind of mixed" as someone once put it, and i have seen and heard how my family has been treated, so its not like I dont know anything, but she often refuses to have any conversations about anything like that with me because im "too white".

I believe even a white person could have nuanced conversation on the topic, but this isn't about that rn, its abt her a) being really cruel to me bc my skin is pale and I have some white features, b) he acting like im ONLY white [which ppl have done my whole life and makes me feel like im only half of a whole person]

Anyway, am I just over dramatic (and need to aplogize for getting upset with her), or is she being rude ?

So, a few weeks ago I found this tiny, super malnourished kitten abandoned in a box near my garage. He was in terrible shape, so I took him to the vet, paid a pretty heavy medical bill out of my own pocket, and spent nights bottle-feeding him. He is now healthy, deeply attached to me, and I officially adopted him.Yesterday, my brother and his fiancée (SIL) came over with their 7yo daughter. The moment my niece saw the kitten, she fell in love with him. Later that evening, my SIL pulled me aside and asked if they could just take the kitten. She said my niece's birthday is next week, they haven't bought a gift yet, and this would be "the perfect surprise."I politely said no. I explained that I’ve bonded with the kitten, paid for his treatments, and a pet is a lifetime commitment, not a last-minute birthday toy.My SIL got absolutely furious. She accused me of being selfish, ruining a child's birthday, and making my niece cry (she did cry when they left without the cat). Now my brother is texting me saying I’m being cold-hearted and choosing an animal over family, and that "it's just a cat."I feel bad that my niece is upset, but I refuse to give up my pet just because they forgot to buy a birthday present. AITBF?

My ex and I dated for almost four years. We broke up about a year ago because we wanted different things in life. It wasn’t a dramatic breakup, but it definitely wasn’t painless either. We haven’t really spoken since, except for the occasional “happy birthday” text.

Last week, I got a wedding invitation from her. I was surprised because we aren’t friends anymore, and I don’t know her fiancé at all.

She texted me afterward saying she hoped I’d come because it would “show everyone we’ve both moved on” and prove there were no hard feelings. She also said a few mutual friends thought it would be nice if we could all celebrate together.

I told her I appreciated the invitation, but I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to attend. I wished her the best and said I hoped she had a wonderful wedding.

She didn’t take it well.

She said I was making things awkward by refusing to come and accused me of holding onto the past. She even said my absence would make people think I was still in love with her, which isn’t true. I just don’t think an ex belongs at a wedding unless they’re genuinely close friends, and we aren’t.

A couple of our mutual friends have messaged me saying I should just go for an hour to be the “bigger person” and avoid unnecessary drama. Others agree that declining politely was the right thing to do.

Now I’m wondering if I was being overly stubborn. I never criticized the wedding or tried to stop anyone else from going. I simply felt it would be uncomfortable for both me and her fiancé if I showed up.

AITB?

My ex and I have a custody order, but I haven’t really been following it. Instead of taking my alternating weekends, I’ve mostly just been seeing my son for the one overnight during the school week.

He’s about to start a new school, and now I’d have to fight rush-hour traffic to pick him up after school (big city) and then take him back the next morning before work. I’m realizing I don’t really want to spend hours every week sitting on the freeway. It’s not what is best for my child.

I’m thinking about asking to switch to Friday nights instead, or just go back to alternating weekends only.

My ex is not flexible and says follow the judge’s order. I can’t do this commute for me or my kid.

Would I be the jerk for asking to change it because I don’t want to spend hours driving every week? Or is that just being realistic?

My (22F) Aunt (40s F) offered to treat me to dinner two days ago. during dinner she recounted a memory of one of my birthdays, and called me a brat for how i acted on that day. her tone was friendly and she was laughing, but i still gave her the context of that day.

that was my 10th birthday, i asked my mom to do two things, buy a pie and don't buy a cake. when i walked into the dining room there was a huge sheet cake and no pie, so i was definitely disappointed. i didn't throw a tantrum or cry, i just flatly asked my mom why she did that, she looked embarrassed and said she thought i might want a cake. after that i smiled politely while thanking my grandma and aunt for their cards, and went back downstairs to my room to watch jacksepticeye videos.

once i told her this she was pretty surprised that i got the opposite of what i wanted, but said her kids would've laughed about it and stayed outside of their room until everyone went home. she blamed my bad reaction on the fact that my parents never hit me like she hit her kids, which she always had a problem with.

after that i laughed and changed the subject because it felt awkward. i insisted on paying for my own meal when dinner was over because it felt weird having her pay after like 45 minutes of uncomfortable conversation. i tried to be pleasant and laugh with her jokes the whole time, but i'm pretty socially anxious so it wasn't as smooth as it could've been.

now, two days later, my mom just called me and she was so upset because her sister called her to tell her she's a bad parent. my aunt told her i was holding a grudge over my 10th birthday, and i was trying to guilt trip her by paying for myself and acting uncomfortable during the dinner. my mom was embarrassed because her sister has been critiquing her as a mother since she first got pregnant. she said even on that birthday after i left the room, my aunt and her husband were talking shit about me in front of her.

i apologized to my mom for causing trouble with her sister. now i feel bad for my mom, she's always felt insecure and compared herself to her sister.

if i could redo the dinner i would just laugh at her calling me a brat, let her pay, and act more talkative and lively. she seemed confused when i wanted to pay, but i didn't know she felt guilt tripped.

regardless i would still feel awkward, but at least it wouldn't have prompted her to call my mom. i'm not surprised she said all of that to my mom, so i think i should've been more mindful of that. i'm way more introverted and unexpressive than my family, and i already knew my aunt saw that as a failure of my mother's parenting.

anyways what do you think? sorry if this was too long.

okay hi first time posting here and I kinda just need advice on what I should do.

Okay so tbh i don’t know if this is actually a big deal or not but I’ve been feeling like shit and ive realised it came back to this one friend of mine let’s call them Brooke. (19f) (fake name) ended up sharing a vent of mine to someone else and that shook me as they had kinda become my therapist friend and they vented to me as well. So after I learned this I had a full on panic attack wondering what else they might’ve said to people about what I told them in private. So after a week of feeling like absolute crap, I decided to send them a message. Telling them how much it hurt me and how I’d like to have a conversation and an apology as this hurt and they had broken my trust, after I thought we were good. After they saw the message they just seemed to have just ghosted me. but my friend group is meeting up soon and I know they’re going to it as well and this might be where I’d be the buttface I’m just wondering if I should bring it up in public im front of my friends to see what they’d do.

Update: thank you everyone for your input and I understand that I would have been the buttface you’ll be happy to know that I didn’t end up confronting them and instead pulled them aside where I explained my feelings and they apologised it take a bit for us to be back on great terms but im happy with how things went

Edit: I used ChatGPT to fix the grammar and shorten this post, but the story and details are my own.

Me and my friend are both 16F, and I'm afraid our friendship will end over this.

About a month ago, an outdoor cat my friend feeds gave birth to a litter of kittens. Recently, the mom started bringing the kittens around, so my friend wanted to keep them somewhere safe until they could be rehomed. She put them in a box on her apartment porch, but someone took the box and returned it a couple of days later.(Idk what was going on in their mind)

A few days ago, my friend called me panicking because a heat wave was coming. Her grandma said she could bring the kittens inside, but when her mom found out, she tried to slap the box out of her hands and threatened to kill them. My mom and I immediately drove over and brought both my friend and the kittens to our house.

She stayed with us for about three days. During that time, I did almost everything for the kittens: feeding them, cleaning up after them, and watching them whenever they were out. Every time I asked for help, it felt like I had to beg, and when she did help, she complained the whole time.

There are three kittens: two orange boys and one black girl. My friend already has an unneutered adult male cat. I have three cats, all spayed/neutered. My mom and I both fell in love with the black kitten and wanted to keep it, but my friend did too. When my mom pointed out that her unneutered cat made another girl kitten a bad idea, my friend said she'd give the black kitten to her neighbor instead because the neighbor had already offered to pay for it.

Later, she texted asking if "her" kittens ok, which honestly frustrated me because I had been doing all of the work. I brought up the black kitten again, and she said her neighbor was still getting it and that I could have one of the orange kittens, even though she planned to keep the other orange one.

When I told my mom, she texted my friend saying she was going to keep the kittens for now because she'd been paying for food and litter for both the kittens and my friend's cat. That's true, her family hasn't been able to afford it recently. She also said she didn't think it was a good idea for my friend to take another cat given her situation.

They argued for a bit before my mom ended the conversation. Personally, I don't think my friend should get another cat because of her financial situation and because she avoided a lot of the work, like cleaning the kittens after they used the bathroom. My mom even offered her $100 for all three kittens because she isn't comfortable sending them back.

She hasn't talked to me since and posted about the situation on her Instagram Note. I know she's upset, and although I don't agree with how she's handled this, she's still my best friend and I love her. I'm scared this is going to end our friendship.

AITB?

Okay. So. Here's how the story goes..

Last Night, I (18M) am driving in the car with my roommate (24M) and we're driving home from the beach right its a late night drive ok? We stopped at Wawa gas station and got some calypso lemonade everything was chill. its like midnight. So im really tired and easily agitated as I get at the night time. Ya dig? Im like a gremlin bro dont feed me at night.
But so im driving right, and my roommate over here (24M) is in the passanger seat doing what he calls "pocket jerking" .. basically its where hes sitting in the car seat fully clothed with his hand in his pocket and... well you know the rest.. rubbing his tinypen. He thinks its "funny" and "just a joke bro chill" but idk man. Like this is middle school humor at best to be honest. Hes a full grown adult btw. It gets to a point where im just kinda uncomfortable. I guess I cant take a joke?

Let me know what yall think. Am i in the wrong???

My cousin is a grown 31M man who has spent the his ENTIRE LIFE bouncing between his divorced parents' houses, my mom (his aunt) and another Aunt. They kick him out when they are at their wits' end because he lies and lies and doesn't contribute to the household

He has a history of alcoholism and drug addiction, and while he's sober now (which I'm genuinely glad about), he's still completely financially dependent on his parents. His parents pay for his phone, car, insurance, utilities, and pretty much everything else.

When my great uncle passed away, my aunt begged to let him live in his house instead of selling it so that he could live there. He is not working... just occasional odd jobs like mowing lawns, and family members continue covering his bills.

Recently his dad got laid off from his job so now my mom is being asked to help pay my cousin's utilities!! It has been 5 months now?

I own three cats, so I know pets aren't cheap. I qualify for a pet credit card that I use for their visits. My cousin recently got a kitten and texted me asking if I had flea shampoo he could have.

I told him Walmart sells flea shampoo, but I also said that I didn't think someone who relies on everyone else financially should be taking on the responsibility of a pet. He laugh reacted to it?!?!

My concern is that if he can't afford basic care himself, the family will eventually be expected to pay for the cat too. It feels like a "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" situation where the requests will only keep growing. I am not opening that door.

He didn't text back but screenshot my texts to his parents. Now family members think I was unnecessarily judgmental and should've just given him the shampoo instead of making a comment.

AITB?

So I F23, was hanging out with some friends and some of their friends and generally having a good time with them. About halfway through I was put on a hoodie that was given to me by a family member. About that time one of the friends of my friends, who I had been getting along with until then seemed to get uncomfortable. When I asked them what was wrong because it seemed directed at me she told me that it just seemed like I was culturally appropriating Indigenous culture. I kinda chuckled a bit before I told her that I couldn't be appropriating it because it was part of my culture as I am Native American. This led to her saying that I wasn't because I didn't look enough like a Native American and that I wouldn't call myself Native American but would call myself Indigenous. I argued back saying that to me it wasn't a big deal if I called myself Native American. We proceeded to argue a little bit more before I just excused myself from being around her when I could for the rest of the night. I'm just wondering if I'm the Asshole for this.

So, a few days ago, my girlfriend thought it would be absolutely hilarious to make me think that I had eaten a spider. I couldn't eat for the rest of that day.

I decided to get her back by pranking her back.

So lately, I've been searching the internet and I've come across some lists about the worst things to do and say when in a relationship. So from that, I constructed what I thought was the top 5 worst things ever to say to your girlfriend.

Three days ago, I went through that list throughout the day by saying those five things. By the end, she was extremely irritable and left my place fuming. I told her it was a prank after the final one and that I was just getting her back but she didn't care and left.

I've tried calling and messaging her but she hasn't answered.

Did I got too far?

This happened a couple years ago and I am still stuck on it.

Photography has always been important to me, and in a recent year, I did more of it than usual. I took some trips and by December, found myself in the first world problem of too many good photos to pick just one for a holiday/year in review card. I was never super into holiday cards, but they seem very important to some of my friends and family so once in a while I try to do one, especially when I had a good photo for it. The photos that I had from this particular year of travel had gotten a lot of praise on social media and a few people had even asked me for prints of some. I had given one of these to the person in question here, sending her a canvas print of a particular shot she had praised, after discussing it with her and even her having previously shown me the spot where she would put a hypothetical print from me (the year before).

So anyway at the end of that year I had posted an album of keeper shots to Facebook, asking if anyone would want one if I got calendars made. Calendars cost a lot more than one-page cards, so I wanted to know there was interest before spending on it. There was interest and a bunch of people messaged me with their addresses. But the person that I then considered my best friend seemed to be the lone loud critic. She told me that it was weird and "gross" that I was doing something so self-centered. I said I don't understand, I had made art and the whole point of making art is to share it. She insisted that it was selfish because it was my art and my travel that it documented, that I was essentially demanding that people treat me as a star to put my stuff on display in their homes. Incidentally, I was not myself in any of the proposed calendar photos. Some of my friends were, and my dog was, but mostly they were generic landscape/outdoor photos.

I thought this seemed absurd but it was enough to make me not get the calendars made, and we aren't friends anymore. In fact I haven't really bothered trying to share art again since, now that I know at least some people think it's immoral and bad to want to do so, and worse, won't say so to my face. She's got me living in fear that if I show joy I'll be secretly laughed at, so why bother if anything I think is kind is actually going to be perceived as vile?

What prompts this is that two other friends actually asked for prints recently, and showed gratitude when I provided. And I'm trying to convince myself that their response is real, whereas my other former friend would have me believe that they are lying out of politeness, and secretly everyone resents me for inserting myself into their lives by selfishly demanding that they display my stuff.

I think that I've been gaslit but maybe I really am a jerk for wanting to share what brings me joy. Am I a self-absorbed buttface for wanting to share my art, or was my ex friend gaslighting me and perhaps projecting her own hostility onto everyone else?

So everyone has probably heard about the recent earthquake in Venezuela. My family was unfortunately affected and lost everything. For days I felt guilty that I was safe while they weren't. I felt helpless, isolated myself, and even considered giving up my scholarship so I could go be with them. I posted here for the first time because I was drowning emotionally, and the advice and encouragement I received genuinely helped me.

So I decided I needed to do something, so I started applying for every job I could find. My criteria was once I passed 70% of the requirements I was gonna apply. I revamped my resume several times. At one point I even lied about knowing how to use a specific software, but when I was asked about it in the interview, my mind went completely blank even after all the research I did. Definitely not my finest moment.

I received rejection after rejection, which wasn't great for my mental health, but I kept applying. Someone also suggested starting a fundraiser, so I tried that too, even though I didn't expect much. Unfortunately, it raised nothing as yet but I'm still trying.

My uncle volunteers with an organization that delivers emergency supplies to Venezuela, so my plan was to give him whatever money I could make to take home. After all the rejections and the failed fundraiser, I emptied my emergency savings and scraped together every bit of spare cash I had. In total, I gave him $165.

When I handed him the money, he asked, "That's it?" I explained everything I'd been doing to try to earn more and that I was still looking for work.

This man. My UNCLE proceeded to looked me up and down and said, "You have a good enough body. Have you considered selling it?" To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I sat there gaping like a fish out of water because I couldn't believe my own uncle had just suggested I sell my body.

After I regained my composure, I asked, "So how much are you going contribute?" He replied that he was already volunteering, so he didn't need to donate any money.

So I looked him up and down, looked him in the eye, and said, "Our family really has good genes. Have you considered selling your body? I guarantee you'd probably make more money than I can."

He did NOT like that. He started calling me names, said I'd become stuck up since coming to America, and said I've disrespected him. He kept going until I sorta tuned him out.

Now that I'm home and have calmed down, I'm wondering if I went too far so AITBF for disrespecting my uncle?

TL;DR: I gave my uncle my last $165 to take home to my family after the earthquake in Venezuela. He was dissatisfied with the amount and suggested I sell my body. I told him he should do the same after he said volunteering meant he didn't have to contribute financially.

So I, F23, am a wildlands firefighter and I get sent out to a lot of other states and such. Well I got sent to another state and when I got free time I decided to take a simple pic of me relaxing on my free time. It wasn't anything that I thought would be bad, it didn't even have the fire. But after I posted it I got a message from some of my family members that were saying it was in bad taste to post pictures like that since there were 3 wildlands firefighters who died recently. I told them I didn't think that it was because it was just me relaxing on my free time in the nice area I was at and I wasn't even close to the area they were at, not even the same state. They still said it was bad taste and that I should take it down to which I told them it wasn't gonna happen. They said that I'm a bad person and an asshole for it and would like to know if I truly am.

I (F 26) and my fiancé (M 27) just got engaged. He proposed to me with a ring he designed with a jeweler. Much to my surprise, he revealed he'd already picked out his wedding band from the same jeweler so he could wear one during our engagement. I was surprised because men in heterosexual relationships don't typically wear engagement rings, and we had never discussed him doing so. Still, while it was unconventional, I appreciated that he was excited to show he was engaged to me and didn't think much more of it.

While discussing the expenses we each covered for our engagement trip today, he casually remarked, "You also owe me $1,500." When I asked why, he said it was for his wedding band.

I was immediately taken aback and assumed he was joking. I couldn't imagine he actually expected me to pay for a ring I didn't know he was buying, had no input on the budget for, and didn't help choose. But he insisted he was serious, explaining that because he paid for my engagement ring, it was only fair that I pay for his wedding band. He pointed out that my engagement ring cost around $5,000, so asking me to contribute $1,500 toward his seemed reasonable to him.

Fundamentally, I don't have a problem paying for my fiancé's wedding band. In fact, I've purchased meaningful and expensive jewelry for him before as an expression of my love, and I would genuinely consider it an honor to choose his wedding band together and contribute to that purchase. I can also comfortably afford the $1,500.

What bothers me is the principle of the situation. I feel it was inconsiderate for him to assume I would be paying for his wedding band/engagement ring without discussing it with me beforehand. It's not the cost itself that concerns me, it's the expectation and entitlement. I don't think it's fair to assume I'll pay for something when I was never consulted or even aware that it was expected of me.

My fiancé was really hurt by my reaction and is disappointed that I was hesitant to pay for his ring, especially since he invested so much time, thought, and money into choosing my engagement ring. At first, I felt strongly that he was wrong to assume I would pay for his ring without discussing it first. But the more I've thought about it, the more I understand why he's hurt that I didn't show the same enthusiasm for buying his ring that he showed when buying mine.

AITBF for not wanting to pay for my fiancé's engagement ring and thinking he is in the wrong for expecting me to do so?

EDIT: I realize there is some confusion over my usage of the terms “engagement ring” and “wedding ring” for my fiancés ring. To clarify, he will wear the same ring that will serve as an engagement ring during our engagement AND our wedding ring during our marriage. So just one ring in total.