A group of my friends and my boyfriend were meeting up to go into town one day, a hangout I couldn’t attend as I had to take care of my two dogs that day, as everyone else was out at work. This meant that I couldn’t leave the house unless it was to walk them (one of my dogs is a puppy and is unable to be left alone just yet). I had agreed to meet up with my friends later on once they had returned from town. We had also agreed that if nobody had returned to my house and I was still unable to leave that they would come over to mine until I could leave.

It gets around to the time they said they’d be back and they start sending photos of them being in my boyfriend’s house. I didn’t question it, just assumed they were grabbing something or just stopping off shortly before coming to mine. I sent a message into the chat, double checking that they were still coming over. My boyfriend responded saying yes but about a minute later he sent another message into the group chat saying that everyone else refused. I asked why and he said they said his house was nicer and that mine smelled. I can see how this would just be playful banter but at the time this comment really upset me as I have two dogs, of course my house might smell. I made it known that I found this comment rude. My boyfriend then caught one of our friends complaining on a voice message saying something along the lines of “We’ll only be at her house for 5 minutes before leaving”. I responded to this by saying “Nobody is coming home for another half an hour and I want to see you guys”. (For context, my house is literally a 2 minute walk from my boyfriend’s house). A different friend started typing in the group chat and said they didn’t want dog hair all over them, which is fine and valid but can easily be avoided. I told him that as long as they didn’t sit in the living room they’d be fine. His response was “Why do we actually have to go to yours?” And I told him yet again that I wasn’t able to leave the house and that I wanted to be able to spend time with my friends to which his response was “womp womp”. This was extremely aggravating as this whole time I was trying to communicate maturely just to be met with childishness. I asked him what his problem was and he said that I was being a pain. I explained to him that if they had just declined politely there would have been no problem, I was just upset at the rude comments that were made about my house, this message was aired.

I did meet up with them later once I could finally leave the house but was still offended at the things they had said previously. I just wanted to know if I overreacted or if I was being fair.

(Because of the comments everyone’s making I just wanted to add I’m a teen, getting the dogs was not my choice, I can’t leave the puppy alone because I’ve been told I can’t by my mum, cleaning the whole house just isn’t one of my responsibilities yet so I had no idea if it’s being cleaned properly or not but nobody had commented on a smell ever before)

I asked a friend if he wanted to play a new game together when it came out, and he said of course. We were talking a bit throughout the week how excited we were. Then when the day came, he told me 30 minutes before that he was actually going to play with a couple other friends because they just asked him.

In the grand scheme, it's not a huge deal, but it did feel kind of shitty in the moment. I told him it was fine but wasn't in a great mood and he must have picked up on it, because he then said "sorry I make you feel bad just by existing"

To me it's clear what he did that upset me (making plans and then ditching for others) yet he's phrasing it like I am just mad for no reason. He didn't even make an effort to create new plans, it's been weeks and we haven't played. AITB?

So there’s this guy two of my roommates keeping hanging out with that I do not like. He has cheated on his gf in the past multiple times but won’t break up with her and she knows he does this too. He has said some mean shit to our third roommate (4 roommates total). He had tried finding out which apartment we live In a few times now/ tried coming over without asking. He keeps trying to come up to our apartment multiple times, we keep telling him no because of him trying to come over unannounced. Me and my third roommate have told the over two to not invite him over because of it. I have said what he did made me really uncomfortable and I will go to the apartment staff to try to get him banned if he keeps doing creepy shit.

I'm a journalist and recently finished my last article on my last day at the paper I was temping for this summer. I needed to interview someone in the middle class area of the town and had been looking for a case for like two weeks. I reached out to some potential interviewees and found a woman that was arranging an exhibition. She suggested the paper come write about it. I basically just grabbed her and asked if she could make a statement on the area she lived in.

As for her exhibition I told her it was the day after my last shift and that I would suggest my co-worker go do it. I knew he wasn't going to because papers have been cutting back on reporting on cultural events for years now, and he was just not gonna go work on a Saturday for something no one would read (nothing against the artists, people just don't read about exhibitions and in this capitalist hell the newspaper adhere to what gets the most engagement).

We did the interview, I sent her the quotes I was going to use, and I wrote my article and went on vacation.

This afternoon I get a text from her saying she wants to take back her statement. She said she had a great exhibition, that a lot of people came and that it was really interesting. When the paper didn't show up to write about it she felt that she didn't want to help us out with our "problems". (When we did the interview I pretty much told her that I grabbed her because I was desperate, to basically apologize for being very forward.)

Like I said, I am on vacation when receiving this message. I thought I had been able to leave my job satisfied that I'd finished all my articles and this message just really stressed me out. It just felt very petty to do this interview and then punish me when my coworker didn't show up to report on her exhibition.

She has every right to take back her statement but it just felt like when someone is mad at a waitress because the food is too expensive. It's really not my fault that the paper I work for doesn't have the resources to cover every event.

I answered that if she viewed the interview as a transaction where she participated in order to get someone to write about the exhibition, she should have told me so, since I don't pay for statements. I also told her that since I am on vacation she needs to reach out to the paper to get the publisher to erase the quotes. I also gave her the publisher's contact information.

She later responded that she didn't view it as a transaction, that she was just tired of the press taking her for granted.

I felt like a was maybe a bit too harsh here. I guess I did kind of accuse her of trying to buy an article. Am I the buttface?

For some background, 17F, go to a school in a pretty rural area. It’s well-funded and provides decent educational opportunities, but lots of resources, like counselors and social workers, are lacking. A year ish back, my family discovered that I had been talking to/in a relationship with a 50yr old man for two years (since I was 15) and forced me to see the school social worker. She was never particularly kind to me, treated and spoke to me like I was an idiot, and would berate me when I didn’t reply how she wanted. Some time later, after I had stopped talking to her (after I found out she had been discussing things I told her with my mother) I discovered that she had been telling a teacher of mine about what we talked about during our time together as well. This was a teacher that I was not close with and had had previous issues with in the past. They had essentially gossiped about me together. The teacher she told was leaving at the end of that year anyways (got fired for swearing at students and shit-talking them to their peers) which is why I think she told me during June of the school year instead of November/December when it all happened, not wanting to face the consequences for engaging in those discussions.

When I found out everything she had said about me (it’s a long list of terrible things that I can elaborate on in comments if needed) I went down to her office and yelled at her, which maybe I shouldn’t have done, but I felt incredibly violated that she would tell ANYONE, let alone I teacher I had issues with, about my personal problems in such a manner. It wasn’t out of concern, like “hey this student is struggling”, it was malicious and disgusting and I heard all about what she thought and said about me. When I confronted her, she tried to speak to me like it was another one of our sessions, wanting to “therapize” or whatever. She told me that she thought I had been “groomed in order to see how the people in my life would react” because she “couldn’t understand how someone so smart would allow that to happen to themselves” and couldn’t see why I was “too ignorant” to see that I was being exploited. Her exact words. I was genuinely beyond mad it was insane. So, I reported her, and the school district informed me and my family that she would not be coming back the following year after looking into and validating all the claims (aka she was fired).

I didn’t feel too too bad about it because of everything she said about me and to me, but my friend told me that by reporting her I had taken away so many people’s support system. She was the only social worker at our school, so most people who couldn’t afford therapists went to her instead as a free mental health resource. AITBF? Should i have not reported her? My friend said I was being selfish and only thinking about myself.

I know this is comparatively a negligent issue compared to everything else posted here but I’m really overthinking this. I came back to my room after being in college for like 12hours I had a hella tiring day and one of my roomates friends was lying on my bed. She got up immediately but after a while I just said it to her face that I’d appreciate it if you don’t sit or lie on my bed she apologised and my roomate apologised 2 times later. I was annoyed in the moment so I just said yea whatever but now I’m thinking maybe I was rude. I feel like my roommate wouldn’t have a problem if my friends did that maybe and I have never been good at drawing boundaries without guilt but now I’m thinking maybe I needn’t have said it to their faces and I came across as a grump…

tl;dr i had an at fault accident it has left me traumatized and unwilling to drive and i'm 19. Mom gets upset that I don't wanna drive anymore so she tried punishing me, i guess that didn't work so she gave all my electronics back.

Even getting an e-bike wasn't enough she keeps asking if I want to catch a ride with her as if she truly wants to chauffeur me around anyway despite me attempting to get my own independence. Ugh. Ugh. I'm so sick of her

This occurred almost a week ago and I could use some advice. I (26M) am dating a girl (25F) we have been dating for almost a year and both are very happy together. My girlfriend is Asian and I am white, I promise that’s relevant for later in the story. My friend (26F) has been my friend since we were in high school together started hanging out with my girlfriend every now and then when i am busy with work and I can’t spend time with her when she gets off of her job.

During the last time they hung out my friend asked my girlfriend what attracts her to me, which my girlfriend said my personality, my values and effort I put into our relationship and lastly my looks. My friend said what specifically about my looks and she said “his blue eyes, dark brown hair and he’s white which is the cherry on top.” This apparently freaked my friend out and she told me my girlfriend has a fetish for white men and I should break up with her.

I laughed uncontrollably in front of her and said I know that she does and that it’s ok I don’t mind, because I also have a thing for Asian girls, so we were kind of made for each other. My friend was flabbergasted and said my girlfriend and I both need help and I need to break up with my girlfriend and work on my issues with my tastes and that we can’t just like each other because of our attraction to each others features that are stereotypical. After a couple of times rounding the conversation over I told her if she can’t let it go then we will need to put some distance between us since I’m not choosing her friendship over my relationship. She left and was on the verge of tears.

Did I go too far with the ultimatum AITB?

I’m 19F. My mom has treated me like garbage since I was born. She used to beat me heavily as early ad I was 5 years old. She’s mellowed a little bit but admitted that she does not care about me. She only does “nice things” for me to weaponize them against me. When i was in critical condition at the hospital during a vacation, she told my aunts that she felt some type of way about having to stay back to care for me. She hates me.

14m here and i just wanna know if im the bad guy in this story. i am in the 8th grade and have a group of friends consisting girls and boys , now Clair(not a real name) has been like an elder sister to me since the 6th grade and we talk and be playful and do playfights and all , shes like a blood sibling to me , and recently Gabe(not real name) from my friend group has started dating clair and some context here, Gabe is the strongest boy in our class , he is even better in sports than some 10th graders and hes like the group leader , everyone listens to him afraid he will do something , but i personally am not scared ,I dont know why but i have never been. Continuing , At the beginning when they were dating it was all good , they hung out with the group , and were just stereotypical couples holding hands and all , Then one day clair came up to me and told me that she cant talk to me anymore , i didnt mind , it did hurt me but i agree relationships should have boundaries and this seemed to be gabes boundary but clair started talking to me again , later now about a week ago Clair told me to tease gabe with soleils(a female friend in the group) name saying he is arguing with her on the regards on me hanging out with her , now gabe is a playful guy , he teases me alot with my girldfriends name so i decided to agree and i just teased him like "How is Soleil" not more not less but he got too offended he slapped me hard in the face, i as i should reported it to my teacher so he started commanding my friends to do things like hold both my legs so i tumble and fall and more , so today , he held me in a chokehold telling me "You are doing too much "and i dont know much about fighting so i took it, i just wanna ask , am i the buttface here , should i quit talking to clair?

TLDR I only wanted to playfully tease Gabe after Clair asked me to, but his violent reactions have left me feeling cornered and physically unsafe. Now, even though Clair feels like my own sister, I am wondering if I need to protect myself and walk away from this friendship entirely.

I, 25 year old women, gave my friend a book gift yesterday that I prepared in about an hour.

My friend, text me that she wanted to meet me urgently a few days back. I was excited to meet her as we were meeting after a year and a half. So I agreed and started preparing a cute book gift that I usually give to her. It was a tradition of sorts us.

When I met her later in the day, (in a restaurant ) she told me that she was going abraod for studies. I was so happy for her and I gave her the gift. However, she dismissed my gift and placed it on the table as if it was nothing. I didn't give it any mind as we were too busy talking. However, when we were leaving after using the restroom, I saw it on our table. Mind you we had our belongings in our hands when we went to the restroom. I told her to take it which she did.

We parted ways after shopping. Usually she would text me about her review of my gift when she gets back home and tell me if she likes my gift but it has been 3 days with no response. I feel stupid tbh. And I am starting to regret it. AITBF

Took my four-year-old to the cinema to see the Paw Patrol movie. Totally get that many films for the really wee ones are going to bore some adults, but in this screening the woman one row in front of us takes her phone out no fewer than five times in the opening half-an-hour of the film. Once or twice, maybe forgivable, but this lassie’s browsing online clothing stores; checking Facebook, then Instagram, then Facebook again; deleting apps; texting; etc..

On the fifth occasion, I’m done. The screen light is intense - who the fuck has high brightness anyway, never mind the dark cinema during a screening!?!? - and even when she isn’t using the phone, she’s placing it screen-up on her chair tray meaning everything is reflected and glares out for the rows behind…

I crouch forward and ask her ‘could you, please, put your phone away. This is easily the fifth time you’ve done it and we’re barely thirty minutes in. Please, just enjoy the time with your kid’. I get that life is happening outside the screen, but nip down the corridor if you need to check something; don’t ignore the most basic of cinema etiquette just ‘cause you’re bored. She glares daggers at me, sighs aggressively, and shakes her head like it’s a fucking hassle that she’s being tasked with.

Her kid was comfortably twice the age of mine, so I get that perhaps neither of them wanted to be there in the end, but, to me, her behaviour was a joke. Thoughts, team? AITBF for how I handled it / handling it myself, rather than dragging my son out from something he was enjoying to go find a staff member to deal with it instead?

Signed: 33y/o, Dad of four

EDIT: Ushers aren’t really a thing in Scotland. Folks find their own seats after tickets are checked, and staff infrequently glance in on audiences (mostly to do their headcount early on). It’s been a long time since any cinema chains here hired enough staff to have one person assigned per room.

EDIT II: New release, small screening room, Saturday afternoon, very busy, so moving (unless to the very front wasn’t an option).

I’m 19F ever since i refused to drive she’s tried punishing me further by taking my stuff until i got then back.

Reminder that i dont care too much if she has my stuff.. i just don’t want to talk to her. I don’t care if she chauffeurs me around or not. I don’t want to be around her. Not again. It’s her fault nobody wants to be around me. It’s her fault i got into a car accident. It’s her fault i can’t talk to anybody without someone pointing at the scars on my face and arm.

I bought an e-bike and now she’s doing everything in her power to stop me from riding it so she can be the one to take me to places.

I decided not to talk to her for a while after her stunt and she says that i’m “dead wrong for that” my brother also told me this.

I’m not driving and nobody can make me. It’s not my fault our public transportation and bike infrastructure sucks. She’d take my abusive dad around in her car but god forbid she have to do anything for me.

She went “oh don’t expect me to do anything more for you” as if she wasn’t already doing the same exact nothing she has always done my entire life. I’m the child she didn’t WANT! The one she didn’t WANT! She has done nothing but inflict pain and she doesn’t care!

Hey guys! So, basically: I have a high libido. My bf does too. The thing is: he also has a bit of a porn problem. He lied to me about this for years, saying he doesn't watch porn and would never want to, etc, and that there were other reasons for our intimacy being less frequent/passionate/whatever. For like 3 years. I found out he was lying, and we sctually broke up (for the lying and manipulation more than the porn; we were still having semi regular decent sex).

Anyway. We got back together, and he stopped for a while. Life is grand, we were having daily sex, doing fun new stuff, etc. Truly great. A few months in, he comes to me honestly and said he's watching again (though he is trying to stop!), and our intimacy subsequently dwindles a bit again. Its especially difficult bc he works away and sleeps for two nights at then comes back for 3. So if he gets off at work, he'll come home and have came too recently to really want sex again. We're currently averaging about once to twice week. I know this is decent for most couples, but its not for me. I want sex daily, and he does too (or every other day) when he's not beating off. I would far prefer we didnt masturbate and just stuck to being eschother's primary point of sexual pleasure. I get masturbating sometimes when we're apart for ages, but I would rather not masturbate at all and just have sex, even if it means he has to abstain for two days at work. We can make up for it. We have good sex

So I initiate for two days straight and get turned down (he jacked off twice while I was at work so is now knackered) and realise I'm feeljng very unfulfilled. Again - I dont really like masturbating as much as sex. So I buy a dildo and a vibrator. Bear in mind - its been THREE YEARS of this. I tell him this, and he's upset with me, saying it feels like I,'m replacing him/"giving up" while he's making effort and making comments on the size of the dildo. But I'm basically doing it exclusively because he watches too much porn to also have daily intercourse, not that I'm not satisfied with our sex. And its just purely a physical tool in my head. I dunno. Am I failing to take his feelings into account? Im not being very sympathetic to be honest, feels like its entirely his fault. Especially because we are - on paper - having relatively frequent sex. I just dont want to resent him.

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for 1 year. When we started dating, I knew he was asexual and understood the basic definition. I didn't realize how important sexual intimacy and feeling sexually desired by my partner would eventually become to me. The confusing part is that we did have sex and intimacy during our relationship and marriage, and I genuinely enjoyed it. It felt loving, connected, and fulfilling to me. My husband has also told me that he enjoyed having sex with me and thought it was fun.

Over time, though, things changed. He doesn't experience sexual attraction toward me or anyone else, and sex isn't something he naturally desires in the way that I do. I've realized that sexual intimacy is much more important to me than I understood when we were dating. I don't blame him for being asexual, and I don't think he should have to change something about himself just to make me happy.

There's also been a communication issue that has made everything harder. My husband recently told me that he had been unhappy for about a year but didn't tell me because he would rather be unhappy and still have me than risk losing me. I love my husband very much. I don't want to punish him for being asexual, and I don't want him to feel like he isn't enough. But I'm also starting to realize that I may have needs that he simply can't meet.

So here's where I feel like a butt face: I knew he was asexual. I chose to marry him. I didn't fully understand the implications of that choice at the time. Now Im realizing that I may not be able to live without the sexual intimacy I need? Does that make me selfish or unfair?

TLDR: I knew my husband was asexual when we started dating, but I understood the definition without fully understanding what it would mean for our marriage. We actually had an intimate/sexual relationship that both of us enjoyed, but over time I've realized how important sexual intimacy and feeling desired are to me. AITB for marrying him without fully understanding the implications and now questioning whether I can accept an asexual marriage?

i (22f) was dating my ex (21f) ld for 3 months. she lives in eu and i live in na. she was supposed to stay 9 days, but i left on day 7.

that morning, we were walking to the bus stop. i was checking directions and replying to friends/family while she smoked. she stopped walking to see if i'd notice, then told me it bothered her when someone was on her phone while spending time with her.

i said i understood, but we'd been together for a week and i needed to respond to people sometimes. after that, she gave me the silent treatment for essentially the entire day. she repeatedly walked ahead and wouldn't respond when i tried to talk to her. we were in an unfamiliar, extremely crowded part of the city, and i had to weave through crowds to catch up. since she was still angry, i suggested we go back.

on the way, she continued walking far ahead. while trying to catch up after we missed a turn, i was hit by a bike. she didn't ask if i was okay and kept walking. i stopped trying to get her to talk to me.

later, she walked so slowly behind me that we nearly missed our bus, and i had to hold it for her. i became irritated and told her to hurry up. back at the airbnb, i went out to smoke and got mcdonald's because i hadn't eaten all day. she hadn't eaten either, but i was angry and didn't buy her anything. she was upset. we had a argument. she said i'd dismissed her feelings and made her feel crazy. i snapped and said i'd tried to communicate multiple times, she'd repeatedly walked away from me in a crowded unfamiliar city, and she'd turned a five-minute disagreement into a 7+ hour conflict.

i left that night and stayed with a friend.

the next morning, she asked if i wanted to break up. i said yes. i asked whether she wanted me to stay for the remaining two days. she explicitly said she didn't want me there and wanted me to leave. i asked multiple times if she'd be okay alone and offered to stay at the airbnb/with my friend until her flight. she insisted she'd be fine and wanted me to go. so i left her the airbnb i'd paid for, groceries i'd bought, my friend's number, and instructions for getting around and to the airport. i also said i'd help if she needed anything.

afterward, her mother called, saying she was hysterical because i'd left her alone in a foreign country. i explained that my ex had explicitly asked me to leave. today, her mother texted again asking me to find someone to drive her to the airport, saying you don't just leave someone alone in a foreign country. i offered my ex money or an uber to the airport, but she told me to stop texting her, said she didn't need my help, and told me to ignore her mother. my friends think i'm NTB because she's 21, an adult, and explicitly told me multiple times to leave. my mom thinks i'm TB because i shouldn't have left someone visiting from another country alone after a breakup.

tldr; aitb for leaving after she explicitly asked me to, or did i have a responsibility to stay because she was visiting from another country?

I (17f) have stared seeing my best friend of 3 years Kiana’s (17f) ex boyfriend (18m). They’ve been together for around 2 months before they broke up because she suspected he was cheating.

For some background info, me and him were kind of friends before they started dating and I had liked him for a while and I told kiana this before they started dating.

A day or two after they broke up I texted him to see how he was doing dealing with the break up. He then told me that he’s the one who actually broke things off even though she told me she ended things with him.

He kept telling me how he’s fine and he’s honestly better off without her since he already kind of had eyes for someone else. I pressed him for info but he wouldn’t budge.

A few days later, we were talking when we both kind of let it slip that we had a thing for each other. After talking for a while he asked me out.

Me and him started dating but I hid it from kiana to not hurt her feelings. Around a month after me and him started dating, I was over at Kiana’s house when she told me she thinks her ex is dating someone new and she’s upset since she was kind of hoping to get back together with him.

I went to the bathroom and came back and saw her on my phone. I asked what the heck she was doing on my phone and that’s when she showed me the messages between me and him. She told me she was trying to text him off my phone since he has her blocked.

She got pissed at me for dating him and threw my phone at me. After a long screaming match I went home to find myself blocked on insta and removed from snap and all our mutual friends keep texting me telling me how much of an ahole I am. I don’t think I am considering she knew I liked him first, and also he chose me.

So AITBF for dating my best friends ex boyfriend even though I liked him first?

She would beat me often. Whether it’s over grades or because she was stressed out due to my dad. My dad and my job would often physically fight each other. I still remember the blood from the glass ruler she beat me with from behind. I remember being so terrified when she stomped up the steps because i knew it was coming. I was only 8 years old. One dat she beat me over “bad grades” but the grades weren’t even bad, she just interpret my report card wrong and beat me for it then when she realized her mistake she took me to McDonald’s while i was in tears. To this day she denies it. She denies the McDonalds thing too but i can’t forget it. She goes “i didn’t beat you that hard i didn’t hit you that often” when for the longest time i would flinch every time my mom came through the door, at least until i was around 14. I’m 19. And i have to pretend it didn’t happen.

I convinced myself this was normal for so long.. even questioning why she stopped beating me when i became a teenager, and i thought it was a bad thing that she stopped doing so. My dad is a horrible person but as a kid i could never tell because he never laid a finger on me. She also didn’t target my brothers as hard (well besides my autistic younger brother she was relentless for his first few years as a toddler until he was diagnosed)

I feel wrong for holding it against her maybe i’m the asshole now since she’s a little older and mellowed out.

for context my dad is kind of crazy. He's been physically fighting my mom for over 20 years and they've both been at it fighting each other. He's narcissistic and a complete douchebag (and serial cheater) but that's not relevant here. He's also probably depressed and mentally ill and might even be bipolar. He will often guilt my mom and my brother and my brother always falls for his guilt tripping and sob stories.

Anyway he bought a real life gun recently. He had ditched our family right before we came back from an out of state vacation (that he was supposed to go to) and packed all his bags and stole our lawn mower too for some reason. My dad's never been a threat because even if he got physical there's far too many people at home capable of beating his ass if he steps out of line against mom. My concern is that with his current emotional outbursts and depression and (maybe even some ideation) he's going to hurt us with his gun. The only reason why I think he would hurt us is because he's not mentally well at all, and there is zero reason why he would need a gun otherwise, we live in the suburbs and there's no threat around us, he has no job either so he actively went through the effort to be able to afford a firearm. Why. Our family has always been unarmed, we don't have any weapons or anything like that besides like kitchen knives so if someone comes in with a firearm, it's basically over. My dad knows exactly where we live and the times we're at home. It's kind of scary and I'm shocked that my family is seemingly fine with the news that my dad bought a gun.

My brother and my mom get upset If I even bring up the possibility of something like this, and I was worried about it even before he had a firearm. Ugh.

Since I know people will ask I'm 19F

Due to personal reasons, I don't have much capacity right now to listen to my friends vent about their own problems.

My online friend, A, frequently messages me to talk about their problems. Even if I don't reply to their messages because I'm busy, they'll continue to type paragraphs as if they're writing in a journal. They're not the only friend who vents to me, but they're definitely the one who does it the most, and it gets pretty emotionally exhausting.

I tried to set a boundary with A about this because I opened my messages to another series of paragraphs about their problems, and it was just too overwhelming. I explained this to them, and asked that they please ask me first if it's okay to vent to me. At first A tried to push back, saying they're not necessarily asking for my advice or help. I explained why that didn't really change how it made me feel, they said 'Okay'.

The following day, A messaged me saying they wanted to talk about something, but that they would blur the paragraph as a spoiler so I wouldn't have to read it, and proceeded to do so. This felt like a breach of the boundary that I'd set the day prior, as regardless of when or if I read it, I'm still aware that they're sharing their problems with me. I explained this to A, and asked that they please respect the boundary I had set.

A did not like this. They said I was accusing them of being intentionally disrespectful and that I needed to 'stop acting like [they] intentionally crossed a boundary', and told me that I was too vague when I communicated my boundary the day before. They argued that they weren't venting, just 'updating' me, and they started picking apart the definition of venting. They then said that because I'd mentioned previously that all those paragraphs were too much, they interpreted that to mean the paragraphs would be fine if they were blurred out, and that I should have been clearer, and that they 'won't be spoken to like this'.

The whole thing felt really 0-100 and weirdly defensive. I've set the same boundary with other friends recently too, which A is fully aware of (ETA: nobody else had an issue with it. I told A it wasn't just them when I set the initial boundary). I'd tried be as polite as I could in restating the boundary and explaining why to try and avoid further misinterpretation, and looking back it was probably more explanation than I needed to give.

I was so distressed because A was making me feel so guilty and unreasonable for what I'd thought was a pretty normal boundary, to the point that my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt physically sick. I ended up saying I was done, and blocking A. I didn't feel like I could really try to defend myself in the moment.

I didn't sleep last night and I've been on edge from constantly second-guessing myself about all this all day. AITB for feeling that they had crossed the boundary I'd set, and for asking them to please respect it?