r/AmItheButtface

I [23f] was close friends with Kurt [28m] we'd talk every day, and eventually we tried dating but realized we were better as friends.

Everything was going fine until last week. I was getting ready for the day when I noticed there was a roach (?) under the bathroom sink. It was on its back and couldn't move, and it was about an inch long. One thing about me is that I'm really scared of bugs. I don't like touching them, and the thought of that freaks me out. Kurt is the opposite. He cares a lot about animals and has a strong moral compass. Hes the type of guy to take the bug outside and release it if he finds one in his house.

Eventually, since I didn't want to leave my roommates to deal with it, I got a plastic bag, some tongs, and placed it in the bathroom trash can. I didn't squish it. I live in an apartment building with screens on the windows so It would've been really tedious to put on clothes/shoes, walk outside, drop it off, walk back in, etc. I tell him what I did and he goes on a rant about how it wouldn't survive in there, and i'm not really taking it seriously. he eventually asks if i think its funny, i say no and apologize and he replies with "okay"

A week later, and he's not texting me back, but he's sort of active in the group chat we're in. Sometimes I'll reply to something he says, and sometimes he replies back or acknowledges, but mostly he doesn't. And then he throws in a couple of jokes that he's "ignoring me"; it pisses me off a lot. for one nobody likes being ignored but for someone so big on communication hes not communicating with me that he obviously didn't like what i did. i also don't like that hes acting like i took pleasure in killing the roach. I didn't even want to touch it at all, let alone kill it and feel it squish between my fingers.

i think i might be the asshole because realistically the way i handled it was more selfish and i could've put in the extra work to take it out, but i don't like the way he's handling it.

My college does a poster sale once each term and it’s this week. I went on Tuesday to get posters for my two sisters (for reference I didn’t buy any). I had a free period so I went and took pictures and sent them to my sisters to see which ones they wanted. My younger sister told me which ones she wanted and I bought them. My older one wasn’t sure and was taking a long time to decide. I had class at that point so I left, and told her I’ll come back after my class to buy her posters. I helped her decide which to get and bought them. Today she had class and was on campus. She texted me around 11am to join her at the library but I told her I had back to back classes till 4. She said we should go home together then. At 4, I texted her and said I was in front of the train station to go home. She texted me that she’s at the poster sale. I join her there and she can’t decide whether to get a poster or not. Ultimately, she decided not to and tells me that she’s going to think about it and wants me to go to the poster sale again tomorrow to get her poster IF she even wants it (She doesn’t have class on Friday). Normally, I would be fine with this but the poster sale is on the other end of the campus from where I have my classes. It was annoying returning again on Tuesday bc she was indecisive and going there again today (which was not in our original plan) bc it’s far away from where I have my classes and doesn’t work with my schedule. I told her I can’t because I have classes on the other end of campus and have plans at 5. Which means i have to be home by 4, and it’s an hour commute home. I just told her plainly that she should get the poster she wants now bc i won’t be able to come again tomorrow because it doesn’t work for my schedule. She becomes upset upon hearing this but then passive aggressively says “That’ fine.” I poke at her because I can tell she’s mad and she says she’s disappointed and annoyed. She wants me to come to campus earlier to get her poster. We end up arguing over this and I was shocked by how inconsiderate she was. I told her that I already went there 2 times this week and we didn’t even plan to come here again today. She told me “you didn’t have to come” and that “you shouldn’t hold it over people’s heads when you do something for them.” I was so annoyed and told her to go home by herself and I would catch the next train. I was so tired after back to back classes and didn’t have the energy for arguing. Am I being unreasonable? I just told her plainly I can’t go, it doesn’t work for me or my schedule. I was already here 3 times this week. She had a free period earlier today and could’ve used that to go check out the posters but she wants me to change by schedule to accommodate her.

I would really appreciate your thoughts/opinions on this!!