AITB for buying "toys" despite my boyfriend's discomfort?
Hey guys! So, basically: I have a high libido. My bf does too. The thing is: he also has a bit of a porn problem. He lied to me about this for years, saying he doesn't watch porn and would never want to, etc, and that there were other reasons for our intimacy being less frequent/passionate/whatever. For like 3 years. I found out he was lying, and we sctually broke up (for the lying and manipulation more than the porn; we were still having semi regular decent sex).
Anyway. We got back together, and he stopped for a while. Life is grand, we were having daily sex, doing fun new stuff, etc. Truly great. A few months in, he comes to me honestly and said he's watching again (though he is trying to stop!), and our intimacy subsequently dwindles a bit again. Its especially difficult bc he works away and sleeps for two nights at then comes back for 3. So if he gets off at work, he'll come home and have came too recently to really want sex again. We're currently averaging about once to twice week. I know this is decent for most couples, but its not for me. I want sex daily, and he does too (or every other day) when he's not beating off. I would far prefer we didnt masturbate and just stuck to being eschother's primary point of sexual pleasure. I get masturbating sometimes when we're apart for ages, but I would rather not masturbate at all and just have sex, even if it means he has to abstain for two days at work. We can make up for it. We have good sex
So I initiate for two days straight and get turned down (he jacked off twice while I was at work so is now knackered) and realise I'm feeljng very unfulfilled. Again - I dont really like masturbating as much as sex. So I buy a dildo and a vibrator. Bear in mind - its been THREE YEARS of this. I tell him this, and he's upset with me, saying it feels like I,'m replacing him/"giving up" while he's making effort and making comments on the size of the dildo. But I'm basically doing it exclusively because he watches too much porn to also have daily intercourse, not that I'm not satisfied with our sex. And its just purely a physical tool in my head. I dunno. Am I failing to take his feelings into account? Im not being very sympathetic to be honest, feels like its entirely his fault. Especially because we are - on paper - having relatively frequent sex. I just dont want to resent him.